Should my husband and I experiment with our relationships?

My husband and I have been married 11 years. We have a very good marriage and a awesome sex drive. We are in are mid thirties just started doing date nights again. Sometimes we do a little get away weekend just him and I. Lately we have been talking about doing a threesome bringing in a female. Just so I can play with her while he watches. This is a fantasy for both of us. But how do we find someone? We don’t want to do it with any one that we know we prefer no one knowing. Also what are the pros and cons of having a threesome?
249 Likes

If i was you dont do it that how it start then he will be going Behind your back and doing it without you

I’m single so I can’t say about the relationship. But FetLife is a great website that has helped with my fantasies.

I want to tell you from experience, idc how strong your relationship is. Don’t do it. It will only bite you in the rear later. I could say set boundaries , but I promise you those boundaries will be tested and broken. If you cherish your marriage, and the sacredness of it , leave it a fantasy. Role play. Watch porn. Talk about it. But don’t do it! Just my advice.

Don’t ever do it with someone you know either.

But if you guys are as happy as you’re saying then why risk it for stray :cat:

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should my husband and I experiment with our relationships?

1 Like

Polyamory is okay because it is consensual. Tell him next time the third person will be a man, then he can watch again.

21 Likes

I would look in marriage groups. Lots of single ppl looking to do 3somes with couples

3 Likes

Good marriage, great sex drive but I want to fondle another woman while he drools over it?

Well thats question here on this page will get you a bunch of rude comments from ppl who that hasnt a clue of that lifestyle…be more then happy to help answer any question

This is called “unicorn hunting” and can be predatory towards bisexual women. Don’t seek someone out for this express purpose.

22 Likes

Fantasy role play between two of you can really add a new height to your pleasure with each other. Adding someone else to your intimate relationship is a risk.

43 Likes

Don’t do it. It will ruin your marriage.

24 Likes

You are playing with fire

21 Likes

Exploring together can bring you closer. And you might both find new things you like.

4 Likes

Tinder. There’s tons of people looking for a “unicorn”
Personally, it’s not something I’d bring into my relationship but being single it’s fun

Dont do it :sos::sos::sos::sos::bangbang:getyour ideas from 50shades of gray :100::100::100:

3 Likes

DONT from a small town… always a divorce and then a marriage :woman_facepalming:t4::flushed::roll_eyes::woman_shrugging:t4::rofl::joy::heart::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:

3 Likes

I did it and it wrecked my relationship.

15 Likes

Your husband is a blessed man

4 Likes

Dont do it!! You should be exploring more with your husband not someone else.

14 Likes

IMO … no not with someone else… that is just inviting trouble

9 Likes

If you do go through with it ,things will never be the same again,just food for thought .

17 Likes

All good till he leaves you for her lol

8 Likes

No no no no no ! Experiment different ways without a extra partner role play , try new things and introduce new Concepts might want to Google kinks to see what yall might in to trying but never bring another person in the mix

6 Likes

Did that once, never again, not for me. Yes it was one of the many reasons for the divorce. It’s not for everyone but some people make it work.

That will be yall down fall… Dont do it.

17 Likes

Check out club M4. You can talk to people who have experience with that kind of situation.

Most people I know that have done this end up destroying their relationship.

19 Likes

What abt another couple

1 Like

Nothing good will come from having a threesome.

10 Likes

That way its both genders haha

I did it! My husband watched… And now he wants me to keep doing it. lol

2 Likes

Nope. Because you’ll regret it later.

7 Likes

Jesus Christ!

Please don’t let these people scare you.
It is definitely possible to have a third, fourth, group sex, etc and not destroy your marriage. :roll_eyes:
Keep open communication, keep talking through whatever feelings may arise,
And remember his love/lust for someone else absolutely does not mean he loses love/lust for you. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: (just like if you were to love/lust for another, wouldn’t mean it had to take from your feelings for him.
I hope y’all find the perfect person/partner/situation for you both. And remember to have fun and enjoy each other’s enjoyment! :heart::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I’d say your making a big mistake, sure he’s saying you fool around with her while he watches, then he’s going to say this is my fantasy (let me be with her while you watch) can you handle that?

23 Likes

I wouldn’t do it this could bring down your whole relationship I have known people to do this and usually the relationship almost never prevails

7 Likes

Girls that actually like girls don’t like to be relationship experiments or experiments in general for another female to dabble into for her husband.

13 Likes

I personally wouldn’t share my relationship. But hey if you both want it and can agree go for it!! Why is she sick!?! Bc they wanna try new things smh . Shouldn’t be negative, she’s simply asking for advice! Good luck on your new adventure!

6 Likes

Please don’t listen to those saying “bad idea” or “don’t do it!” and I say that because they are projecting their feelings and thoughts on that matter as if their in the relationship when they’re not. Yes this type of thing isn’t for everyone, we get that, but for many it does work, myself included and the only way to really find out especially since you both have the curiosity and desire, is to try it.

Now I wish I had better advice on where to look but I myself seem to only occasionally get lucky when I find a woman into that. My first thought would be try fetlife.

13 Likes

Only if you want to destroy your relationship. It is a terrible idea

11 Likes

Y’all are no fun here lol do what makes y’all happy. Seems like if it’s for both and not just to appease the SO then things won’t go sour as long as you have consent and understanding

9 Likes

A lot of closed minded people in the comments. I’m gonna go ahead and assume your bedroom lives are boring as hell

11 Likes

Everyone is different, do you babe😚 Communication is the most important thing but it’s def doable.

3 Likes

Personally. I wouldn’t do it because it’s just my own preference but if you want to try it, try making a joint profile on a dating site? You don’t have to post pictures until you know for sure the person you guys are matched with is someone you don’t know then you two can decide if you’d like to try that lady or not

3 Likes

Try it!!! Either y’all like it or ya don’t. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with experimenting and spicing up your sex life. To each their own. Some aren’t secure enough in themselves let alone their relationships to even consider something like this

Destroyed my relationship.

10 Likes

It will destroy your relationship and eventually your marriage

10 Likes

I know it seems exciting and all believe me I almost did it, but I honestly am so glad I didn’t. I have a friend she was with a guy for 9 years, they had one threesome, turns out he was seeing that girl behind her back ever since the night they had done the threesome. In my opinion if you really love him it’s not worth it. Things can get so messy so easily.

12 Likes

You’re looking for a unicorn?? Um…good luck with that…

1 Like

Eventually he will want to dip into the lucky dip himself​:woman_shrugging::woman_shrugging:

15 Likes

I couldn’t have a threesome if I was in a relationship/married to the person. Once feelings are involved it’s a whole different ball game. I don’t like sharing :woman_shrugging:t2::joy:

15 Likes

They sound like they have a loving trusting relationship with great communication and a mutual want for this so it won’t ruin a strong marriage at all. Have fun and I hope it all works out. Remember safe sex

1 Like

Everyone is different. My bf and I have been together 2.5 years. We brought a woman in a few times. It was a great experience. It brought him and I closer and I discovered new kinks. Watching him please her was a huge turn on because I know he is mine. We discovered before hand that the person is a “toy” and we love eachother enough to get pass any jealousy. But you need to talk to your partner first. Lay down things you are comfortable with and expectations. Humans like to explore and learn new things. And if it’s something your comfortable with and you have rules in place then go for it. Go to fetlife.com. it’s a kink sight that is totally free. You can meet other people. Find groups around you that you might be into. That is how my partner originally met.

10 Likes

My best friend did this with someone they didn’t know and came home from work and found her and her husband in their bed! Be careful what you invite to your house!!

10 Likes

Eventually isn’t he going to want to join in too? If you’re alright with it all go for it just consider all the possibilities and consequences and make sure you understand that it may start you both down new paths that one of you eventually may stop being comfortable with. Cause just watching is going to turn into more

5 Likes

Just advice…Make sure it’s someone your not going to see all the time or that’s really close to you because sometimes when you open this door you let things in that won’t leave be cautious but have fun with it

5 Likes

Definitely find someone you don’t know if your going to do it.
I personally wouldn’t. Been there. Done that. It didn’t end well. I ended up stalked by the woman and the ex wanted more and more.
But it could be different for you

3 Likes

Bad ideas, somethings are better off staying fantasies

6 Likes

What’s the whole point of doing that?

7 Likes

Be careful! Not always a happy ending

5 Likes

Please don’t listen to the negative Nancys here
Having a threesome is not going to automatically make your husband cheat on you and will not make him more likely to either
If a man wants to cheat he will cheat and experimenting as a couple is not the trigger

16 Likes

Don’t gamble with your marriage.

24 Likes

You can’t possibly think this is a good idea. Why don’t you start with the 3rd person being a man. Let your husband watch that. See how well he likes that.

26 Likes

Then the husband will go off with her

5 Likes

HAVE FUN! Find someone online or even sometimes at a bar. Fk these negative people. Just make sure you have rules and boundaries set ahead of time that you are both comfortable with.

6 Likes

I see couples all the time on Bumble seeking a “unicorn.” I guess it works for some? But like some have said, set boundaries. When emotions get involved thats when there’s trouble. I personally am not the type to allow another female into my relationship. Call me jealous or insecure. I’m also not bi so there’s that. Always the men are open to having threescore with other girls. I’ve heard of experiences of my friends. Never heard a successful one yet if that tells you anything.

9 Likes

Wear something decorated with pineapples. That’s a sign for swingers

3 Likes

What if you do and he starts to like the fact that 2 womem is better than 1 and everytime he wants a visitor or they start up seeing each other without you

8 Likes

Nope, it will never be the same after.

5 Likes

Speaking as the outsider of a couple (long in the past), I met them at a bar. I was definitely more into the husband than the wife, but that could’ve just been because she wasn’t the most attractive person to me personally. Anyways be careful, cause we ended up being sneaky (we thought she would just be okay with it) but they cut me off… assuming because it was a huge hinder on their relationship. Be careful! Some are just okay and don’t have any jealousy, some have boundaries, some will regret some will not. Like some are saying 3somes are not for everyone. Husband also was the one that introduced me… so maybe you can do the picking or pay for a service that way there’s absolutely no strings attached and no bond growing.

2 Likes

Hunting unicorns is not sexy

4 Likes

I say have fun. The one my husband and I did was amazing. No long feelings, me and hubby are still happily married, it was just something new and fun. Go for it.

6 Likes

Why ask? in the end you’ll do what you want.

I wouldn’t.
Every single couple who has done what you’re suggesting are no longer together or together and will never trust each other again.
It sounds fun yes. Remember tho, just cause your man says he doesnt feel some type of way about it doesnt guarantee hes completely cool with it.
And he may feel some type of way about you enjoying it and him not. Even more so, what if it isnt what you imagine it to be and your HUBBY loves it and wants to try again. What if he breaks trust and develops feelings for the third person? What if your best friend/sister comes to visit and he wants one of them to join in? How will you feel when hes d*ck deep in, example your bff and you feel like hes paying more attention to her and not you? What if you do?

Take every single bit of it into consideration because your relationship as you know it will change forever and its not gonna go back to the way it was.
I would try maybe toys for double pen. Hell try some diff scene play. Meet up at the bar in a wig and clothes that arent your style, same for hubby and act like you two have never met until then at the bar. Play like strangers having a one night stand and spice it up.
I’d try for that before the threesome. That takes having zero jealousy, complete trust in each other, trustworthy third, clear expectations and rules, and a clean bill of health sexually from all parties including both of you (in the bsdm community providing a clean, recent STD screening when meeting a potential play partner is common and expected)

17 Likes

Come to vegas that how u get it

1 Like

Sounds like unicorn hunting but ok

It really is up to the couple if you find yourselves to be the jealous type then its a no go. But never mess around in your circle it gets messy. Always choose someone you know wont try and meddle between the two of you…

me n my husband have done it with someone we know twice n prob will again. if u have the trust n love then it will be great. definitely wouldn’t hesitate to do it again… n we all participated.

3 Likes

I say live it out atleast once! Did with my husband and we never had any issues after, it was really fun but we weren’t open to the idea of keeping someone else in our relationship so it was a one and done. (We’re both way too jealous for that) :joy: definitely find a stranger so there are no feelings involved and as long as you trust eachother not to reach out to them again on your own it will be fine. :relieved:

Why do we hv to know your age
Im in my mid to late 30s and nvr even been married let alone awesome sex 3some
Thx for sharing
Putting your age implies when ppl can or should hv done this by now
When rlly ppl dont hv to be young to hv good sex or sex

No, it would all end in tears

2 Likes

What could go wrong? …:no_mouth:

5 Likes

I’m wandering how this got on my time line!!:face_with_raised_eyebrow: and no, bad idea… you took vows when you got married! Why get married if you didn’t want to keep your Union sacred!!!

23 Likes

It can’t be undone . I guess as long as you both can live with what could possibly go right or wrong. It’s never just that simple.

4 Likes

So many women saying no I say go for it

2 Likes

Marriage is for 2 people who fell in love and got married and It’s sacred vows to love one another it’s a promise made unto God so a three some that is bad for a marriage and sin do think again about it

32 Likes

You only live once go for it!I have always wanted to try it but im too jealous i would have too many worries and I am afraid it might ruin our relationship or it could be the best thing we ever did who knows

Bad experience with it she was going behind my back and messaging him and he was doing the same she threatened him with sending me screen shots of there conversation I still haven’t seen the screen shots but I know something went on between them I just can’t prove it

5 Likes

Everyone I know that was silly enough to try this, ended up divorced!

14 Likes

O my o my…different strokes for different folks …only you can make that decision because it could be a make it or break it kinda deal and nobody wants that on them…good luck !!

2 Likes

As long as there’s trust there, set guidelines and boundaries, make sure you both know exactly what can’t be done. Go for it, it can be really fun to do just every once in awhile. Definitely better to do with strangers though. You could try dating sites

11 years is a lot to throw away if it goes wrong because chances are it will, it’s not always as easy as picking someone up at a bar. They could have a STI, blackmail you, have a crazy bf or your partner could like the person more than you in the moment I’ve known a lot of people who’ve had them and only one that went ok but they broke up months later because he couldn’t be satisfied without another woman their anymore.

10 Likes

I can tell you the cons. He’ll leave you for her. :+1: females have no respect

22 Likes

As long as this is something you both want. Absolutely go for it, but if its something either one of you are unsure about or feel pressured to do I would say no or hold off until you both are truly comfortable with the idea. I also want you to take into consideration that although the night might start planned with you and the other woman messing around and him just watching it could always escalate to him joining in as well and I would definitely talk to your husband about that and what would be on or off the table if that were to happen as well.

3 Likes

Why would you want you husband doing things with another woman anyhow ? Whether your there or not. Why woul you want to see that and be a part of it. For me it’s a No ,just no. Remember ur vows too , save yourselves for each other isn’t that what marriage is about :flushed:

6 Likes

There must be complete trust between the two of you. As long as there is then go for it. You only live once. The worse that can happen is a divorce and a life lesson. I’ve seen it go both ways

2 Likes

Buy a hooker and express ur wants u will never see them again

3 Likes

Róisín Brogan be ideal for you :wink:

1 Like

So when he gets turned on watching and wants to bang her how will you feel then ?if you don’t mind then go for it … wouldn’t work for me , what’s mine is mine x

20 Likes

Most people i know that do this use dating apps to find the person