Honestly, if you have both talked boundaries with this 3some like you say he is just wants to watch. Have you discussed if he wanted to join? Talk about every detail draw clear lines as to what isn’t ok or what is. Something like this is 100% about trust in your partner. And i feel like if even a small tinge of jealousy arises during this 3some whoever feels it needs to speak up and end the act. I don’t have any info how to find such a woman though. Have fun
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Okay so a lot of these comments are rude to OP.
My husband and I have been together for a long long time and we have had numerous threesomes and foursomes… Neither of us has cheated on each other.
So I say go for it, my husband has a huge kink where he likes to share me with men and women. Our relationship has not been more healthy and full of respect then it is now.
Reddit is a good place to post looking for local play partners.
Been there, done it many years ago. It caused a lot of problems in my marriage. We finally got through it. He passed away in 2001. I am remarried and there is absolutely NO WAY I would EVER do it again!
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- Make sure you have rules in place 2. Understand completely what you want from the adventure 3. If any rule is broken stop immediately it will make problems later 4. Ask yourself what if? What if he joins and does something with her that he doesn’t with you? Are you ok with that? 5. Be picky its about both of you not just you it will turn in to a well I let you… so let me kind of thing. 6. Enjoy her find a woman that craves that attention and rock her world both of you! They are out there try fetlife
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Bad idea. Not going to work out the way you think.
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Don’t do it. Ive done it, it never works out as planned. People watch too many movies.
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You need mental health counseling!!
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Talk about it again but talk about doing it with a guy and see if hubby is as onboard as he is with it being another female or if there’s any double standards. Truth is if your relationship is as good as you say it is then there isn’t a void to fill so you know what they say, " never mess with a good thing".
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Now everyone knows 
not hating just saying. Anyway best of luck to all three of u and just know there’s always a chance he will connect with this female and want more. There’s many options to weight especially if you are married and have children
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Anyone I know who has done that badly affected their marriage…think it thru realistically and morally. it might come back and kick you in the butt.
pineapple and swinging 
look it up
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I think ur nuts! Gonna open doors u wish u never had opened.
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Here’s my take…
So, because you both have a fantasy and want to try it, let’s say you find someone and because you have this high sex drive, you enjoy it or whatever. Since you found this one, you know she does this type of thing, you all continue with the affair. When does it stop? Does it stop when you start questioning your marriage? Does it stop when one starts having trust issues or jealousy? Or is this a one time occurrence?
I have a relative who had 2 three way marriages from what started out as fun and both marriages have ended. Sometimes it’s best to visit an adult store and and communicate and experiment there with stuff that has no feelings and you can put up for another day 
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Fantasy are always better in our heads…
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It’s opening the door for cheating
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Why ruin something great 
. I would never do it. Just my opinion, I do know people who have try to keep their relationship spiced up and it just gets ruined
Play with fire, bound to get burned. My PERSONAL OPINION… don’t come at me… it’s glorified cheating. Why be married…oh because you want you cake and eat it also! Better cut that cake into 3rds
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Why do women want to play with women?? And duh ofcourse ur man wants to . See how much hes down if u mention a man . Ps ur Bi & need to have a bigger talk
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don’t do it…it will cause problems…been there did that…no longer with him
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Don’t open Pandora’s box
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I wouldn’t do it your man is just that yours I think after doing that I’d always think he’s cheating
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Just watch porn together 
If you invite another woman into your bedroom, you are just asking for trouble
It will ruin your marriage. Love each other. Explore with each other.
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I guess I really don’t understand people. 80% of females don’t even want their man looking at another woman while this 20% openly invites a third party in. Man that is asking for trouble. To me it would never stop and you’re going to be left trying to fulfill more and more. Add kids in the mix and you’ll be stuck at home while he’s out trying to fill a void. My personal opinion is it’s breaking vows even tho you welcome it. Y’all husband and wife, enjoy each other. The thought of my husband wanting to add someone to our private intimacy would kill me.
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It ends so many marriages.
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The real question here is, are you trying to break up your marriage? I don’t know the real statistics on this but I’m guessing nine times out of 10 it doesn’t work out the way you planned. Do some role-playing or something. Switch it up that way. Buy some fun toys…Good luck
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I know alot of swingers(they bring other people into their relationship to do stuff like that) and they have amazing relationships. I would look for bi sexual person. Depends on how strong your relationship is!
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Nope nope nope don’t even open that door. Just leave it all in your imagination
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My issue is the way to spoke about the person you want to bring in. You want to treat her like an object? Something to play with for your husband to watch. Based on that alone, no. People are not at your dispoasal to fulfill some fantasy.
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It seems like your the jealous type since your bf is just going to watch. This will be a disaster waiting to happen.
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Don’t do it .It won’t work out.if u so happy why bring in someone else
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You have to make sure definitely that there is boundries set and make sure all parties are comfortable with said boundaries. Communication is key.
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Everything isn’t great look at what u asked fantasy is lovely leave it there
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Great way to lose someone
Kids have fantasies its scary for them…
Spend your time together and enjoy the life you have been building
This is asking for trouble. It’s a fantasy, let it stay a fantasy and not ruin your marriage.
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Absolutely not. A marriage is a bond between you and your husband. Perhaps marriage counseling if you feel your lacking something in your marriage
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In my opinion, the worst idea ever…just asking for trouble
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That’s easy, get on tinder and find them there.
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It will ruin your marriage.
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No you invite the devil in and it will destroy you and your husband. You will loose that war. Not to mention purposely sinning and you will be thrown in the lake of fire. Just because you and your husband may be ok with it…does not mean God is.
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U can always go on craigslist 
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Just go to Hustler and get some play things, make a movie, but as said before, it doesn’t sound to me like this is a good idea for you and it definitely doesn’t sound respectful to whoever you want to bring in.
What ever floats your boat BUT IF YOU VALUE YOUR MARRIAGE THEN NO
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Been there. Done that. Bringing someone you both know or someone you both don’t know will literally lead to trust issues later on. Was with someone for a few years and we tried it both ways. Someone we knew and didn’t. We broke up shortly after because after I said i was comfortable trying it but after told him I wasn’t okay with it but at least I tried, was a huge problem after.
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Pros are you’ll have fun while it’s happening cons she’ll do something you won’t or better and your husband will start sneaking around with her. DON’T DO IT!!
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Tinder, Craigslist, etc. Make a personal ad. And have fun!
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When you have someone you love, you dont wanna really give that up do you??
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Forget what all these people say, it wont ruin your marriage unless you’ll let it. If you wanna 3sum do it, YOLO
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Take it from someone that knows you dont want to do that. You got something good going on between you and your husband. You will be the one that will end up getting hurt in the long run.
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I done been down that road so dont listen to the ones that is saying forget what everyone is saying and go ahead and do it.
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I really don’t understand how ignorant some can be…
Marriage is sacred; when you’re lucky enough to have a happy marriage, would you actually find ways to spoil it?
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It will never be the same if you cross the red lines. You will crave for more and more, it might end as an addiction. High chances for a failure of marriage. So better hold your horse tightly 
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Dude if you want to go for it as long as you guys have trust and open communication about what is ok and what isn’t and you guys can follow those rules then nothing will go wrong my husband and I have been together for 10 1/2 years and been experimenting with that type of stuff for 5/6 years and we have still in love and have a wonderful marriage and you know what we have more trust now than we used to because we talk and no matter what we always give eachother more attention and we know at the end of the day we always come back to eachother… you live your life and do what you want
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If you’re stable, do it! Set boundaries as needed and communicate! Screw these other people saying shit about God or how you need to respect your relationship. Your relationship is what you want it to be.
Your asking for nothing but trouble
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And just like that your 11 year amazing marriage will go down the drain. Your inviting the devil in, what do you expect? Ctfu
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Some bars have swingers nights. You may have to do some research though to find one. I don’t know where you live either, but Florida has some bars with this too (at least Tampa did.) *We don’t swing but these places are out there. Went to one on a non-swing night and looked for bars when we went to Tampa and there was one there too.
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I want to see your relationship status in a year after you do this. Your fooling with fire, but its your life.
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Listen, if you and your partner have really exceptional communication skills and both have the confidence / security to express your thoughts, feelings, limits, and boundaries both outside of and during the interaction, ethical non-monogamy can be a fantastic thing.
People who say it ruins relationships had one of two experiences:
- They and/or their partner was already a bad person/cheater and they didn’t realise it ahead of time.
- They and/or their partner lack the communication and self regulation/monitoring skills required for ethical non-monogamy (or considering ethical non-monogamy).
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This kind of activity will only create havoc in your marriage!!!
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Celeste Jackson did you miss the part about her expressing desire to explore a female? You know some girls don’t really get off wanting two guys sexually at the same time.
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Look into some swing sites that should help with finding like minded females.
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Terrible idea 110% dont recommend💁
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I had friends that did this, same situation as you and it ended their marriage. I would be careful and find another way
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What would you tell your daughter?
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Not being hateful but if you were enough for each other & sex life is awesome why have some random person come in the bedroom?
You never know if that’s gonna cause a riff in your marriage. Think logically on this talk it over make sure it’s something y’all both want at the same time.
I have a friend that is involved in the swinger scene, her entire end goal is that the marriage ends in divorce. She likes the power she feels breaking up a marriage. I know a lot of women who are like this so I would definitely be careful.
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You should look into Poly Relationships as well… 
You can totally have a healthy marriage and have fun on the side as you mentioned. You don’t have to explain anything to anyone You’re an adult. Do what makes YOU happy and whatever makes your hubby happy… 
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This group is supposed to be mamas “UNCUT”
The real, RAW taboo conversations of mom life.
All I see are a bunch of bible-thumping judgmental ass Karen’s in here…. 
#ISaidWhatISaid #YallSuck
This is why I recommend getting all you kinks worked out before you say
“I do” why ruin a good marriage? Get a professional hooker, pay them and be on your way.
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Bro it’ll always be a bad idea and I know you won’t listen to me or anyone else who tells you that and still do it but yeah it’s a bad idea
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It’s a new life for you. Your present relationship is over now.
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Totally disgusting!!
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Why is everything on this page about cheating? Is anyone not a slut here?
Defiling your marriage is the only thing I see wrong with this, and the increased potential to end up divorced in the long term.
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Go out of town, hang out at a bar. Practice flirting with a stranger. Include your husband in the “choosing” process and have a drink with her. Talk, flirting, etc. See how you both felt with that.
Take this slow, because it sounds like you want a toy more than a person. And there’s plenty of folks out there that like to be a unicorn/one night stand for couples. But that needs to be made clear ahead of time. A third party isn’t a sex doll, its a whole other human that deserves clear communication about never seeing each other again etc.
Talk in depth with hubby about his actual expectations and desires. Are you going to be upset if in the moment he compliments or even touches her?
Join fetlife and check out close to local swinger parties.
take it from me, don’t. ive tried this with my husband of 10 years & it didn’t end well in the long run !
Everyone in here discouraging you from progressing your happy marriage is doing so from their insecurity. The only time someone is insecure in their relationship is when they know their partner can do better than them. Hence the prohibition.
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This could also be the beginning of some seriously cool new chapters! I will say… that opening up your marriage can be a huge can of worms. One party at minimum is often left wanting more afterwards. So be sure you’re ready for that can of works. Be sure you’re ready to go through the communication before AND after to be able to be open and honest with each other about lasting/ongoing desires.
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I knew people who done this and sometimes it’s not good because either the women or guy leaves for the other one you had a threesome with.
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Damn, what a lucky guy.
Also, it really bothers me the way you talked about this other woman. Women are NOT objects to be used for sex and discarded like trash. “Just so I can play with her while my husband watches.” She’s not a toy to be played with, she’s a human being.
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Wait you don’t want anyone knowing but, you’re posting on Facebook? Well there’s no going back now because all your friends are going to want to know did you do it:joy:
Just go to the strip club and get a dance for you in front of him and then go home lol
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Call me old and ‘old fashioned’ but I can’t even imagine WHY anyone would even think of doing this, or that it’s a good idea. And I’m surprised to read that so many have. Marriage is between 1 man and 1 woman who love EACH OTHER and satisfied with EACH OTHER. If you feel a need to bring someone else in the mix then there’s a problem you don’t even realize. Sad.
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Unicorn hunting is gross. A woman’s body is not your toy 
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I think you need to seriously sit down, the both of you, and think about why this is a fantasy for both of you. If you have a very happy marriage, then why do you want to bring a 3rd person into your very happy marriage???
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Listen to the Let’s Shag podcast. There’s an episode on their about threesomes (Season 2, Episode 1). It explains in detail the ins and outs. Very detailed and I feel like it answers every one of the questions you asked in your post
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I think this could work out several ways and I’m not judging.
- You do this and life is forever changed and you and your hubby can never go back.
- You do this and someone catches feelings and …
- You do this, and hubby then wants to know when he gets a turn!
- You end up in a poly relationship and either love it or hate it.
Ive been there and it didnt end well. No matter what it will never be just you and hubby again. Best of luck.
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I’m not trying to get into a debate with anyone… but there are relationships that flourish because of the openness and transparency that comes along with a great sex life. Whether it’s adding another person, flirting in front of your spouse to bring out a jealous side, or going to a swingers club to see what’s out there, whatever works for you go for it.
If you both are totally comfortable with it, then do you. If either of you has even 1 doubt or is the jealous type, don’t do it.
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“While he watches” then he’ll join then you’ll get mad
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Have you tried adult toys. You could let him watch while you play.
I say go 4 it! Althou personally for me it’s better that she is a stranger that way it’s just one time lol then no worries
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One big con is that in many cases jealousy comes in to play, even when not expected.
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My fiance and I are younger. We’ve been together 10 years. We have had boyfriends in our relationship twice. The only reason it hurt our relationship was because this guy wasn’t really for us just what we had to offer and I saw that and he didn’t for awhile. So it was hard and heart breaking for both of us. He just wasn’t the one. But once we both saw what this guy was really about and him and I got over the hurt from him we rebuilt and still are together and happy. We plan on letting the right one come to us this time and not try so hard to find someone we both connect with. Just be social… open… look around a bit. When u find the right one you’ll both know
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I would not my friend did and lost her husband to the new woman don’t play around for your own good
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If u only touch her and he watches that will probaly work out but don’t let it go further
Never invite another person into your relationship
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Wrong group! Find one with like minded individuals. You are gonna get judged harshly here.
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