Should my husband push for paid leave?

Would you be a “Karen” over $4000? The company my fiance works for offers 8 weeks paid maternity leave to women but only time off for men. Legally they’re not allowed to do this (eeoc vs Estee lauder 2017) I was talking to a friend about this and she told me I was being a Karen. I’m due in 2 weeks and he wants to be home with me and the baby but we can’t afford for him to not have money coming in. Would you push the paid leave or drop it?

90 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should my husband push for paid leave?

Over $4,000? I’d be a flying monkey for $4k. Definitely push it.

1 Like

If your state is a right to work state I’d personally be careful with this. U may win this one, but you risk being fired soon after for any reason whatsoever. I wouldn’t push this.

24 Likes

If they don’t offer it to men
Then I’d drop it

3 Likes

My position is a company policy is a policy. If you dont like their policy he should leave… I wouldn’t put him in an employment bind with a baby on the way.

7 Likes

Like you said legally they can’t do that I would push for a paid leave fuck that his employer should have banked his hours for this exact reason, report them as well

I think it wouldn’t be resolved in enough time but could help people in future situations.

I don’t think it would help your situation much since you’re due in only 2 weeks. But I def would see what could be done about it

1 Like

He wants to be home for 8 weeks? I agree he should get some time off but a man doesn’t need 8 weeks off like a woman does

16 Likes

My company does the same thing. Be grateful they are providing paid leave. Most states don’t require any paid leave. Need to leave it alone. Not to mention that u aren’t married either but want the same benefits

4 Likes

It’s maternity leave, not paternity :woman_shrugging:

8 Likes

Company policy is company policy. You’re gonna risk him getting fired or treated badly by causing an issue. Most people would leave it go.

2 Likes

If you’re not an at will state I’d push for it

He could just apply for FMLA. Same thing only government funded.

1 Like

Your husband has a job that doesn’t offer it to men.
Use his vacation time and take two weeks off.

5 Likes

My husband stayed home for 8 weeks and used his vacation and sick leave. We had a 6 and 8 year old and I had a c-section. He was helpful the first few weeks. After that I was good on my own. He golfed and “celebrated” with friends

2 Likes

I would drop it every company has their own policy and considering he was hired and works their then he knew the policy going in. Plus if he fights it I can promise he will not have that job much longer. With a child coming and this world being messed up with prices rising for everything now is not the time to mess with your income.

2 Likes

Does he have vacation or sick days they will let him use

1 Like

Shut mouth don’t get fed
Asking wouldn’t/shouldn’t be a crime
The worse he can hear is no at best a yes
Good luck

If you’re in the US it is NOT law. Paternity leave is typically covered under FMLA and is unpaid time off.

2 Likes

Does he work in an at will state? bc if so then don’t push. They literally don’t need a reason to fire you and this would be just giving them one.

3 Likes

Push this!! That is his right as a parent!!! I can’t believe the number of people saying let it go. This is why we are where we are in the USA. Making $7.25 and hour when inflation has quadrupled. This is a job, if they do not value you then leave!!! They do not care about you (if they did you wouldn’t be asking this question) if you die tomorrow they will have you replaced the same day. Your family needs you and wants you. You can always find another job. You are worthy!!! Don’t make a corporation tell you or treat you any different.

8 Likes

When a man can physically go through a nine month pregnancy and give birth, then give him maternity leave.

2 Likes

YES! The daddy is just as important after birth as the mommies!!! Idk why its not a given but yes I would definitely push for it!

2 Likes

No Way for me…… would not push for it….

If you do push it they will probably change their policy for women not men

1 Like

:rofl: My husband took like 2 days off.

1 Like

I guess to fight it you’ll need a lawyer and time off work for court dates. It will cost a fortune and regardless of the outcome I doubt he will have his job for long afterwards . You accept company policy when you accept a job. .

3 Likes

I wouldn’t push. They’ll pay you then find reason to let him go if you push too hard.

I know this will get the eye rolls but this whole paternity leave thing is a little over the top. Yes it’s great to have daddy home but it’s not realistic for many people to take weeks off to just sit at home. If he has vacation time use that. :woman_shrugging:t3:

7 Likes

If you don’t pay into it regardless of the court case you are not entitled to it. So I’d check his paystub before perusing anything. I didn’t pay into the paid maternity leave when I worked and wasn’t entitled to it when I went off.

Not the companies place to pay because yall decided to have a kid.

2 Likes

There is a good chance of you push for it and you guys take them to court he could lose his job. My husband got two days after I had my second child and he needed to keep his job since I switched to staying at home. I’d weigh the pros and cons before pushing for it.

1 Like

My husband saved up paid days off and stayed home for like a week.

2 Likes

Some of these answers are appalling. The US is at the bottom of the list for maternity/paternity leave. There are country’s that do paid leave for 13-18 weeks and then unpaid leave up to a year with their job held in place for them to return to. Fight it, or check into FLMA like someone above stated.

8 Likes

Each company is going to be different…but…Your husband opting to take paternity leave isn’t the same as a woman having to take maternity leave.

7 Likes

I believe men and nonbinaries to whom it applies deserve paid family time off equivalent to maternity leave. How will we change this if we don’t push for it? Be the change you want to see in the world.

4 Likes

Push for the paid if they’re supposed to be.

If not then no, I’d just let it go.

My state has paid leave.

By federal FMLA he is entitled to 12 weeks unpaid leave

1 Like

Ma’am, this is the US. Tread lightly.

9 Likes

Dudes just don’t get time off in America

2 Likes

I would’ve planned ahead if I was to push
Not when you’re 2 weeks away from pushing out baby

No not now

2 Likes

No don’t push for something that could cause him his job.

4 Likes

Where I am from the mother can take 12 months off on maternity but only get paid maternity leave for 9 months and go 3 months without pay and the father only gets 2 weeks paternity leave pay

I work in HR this is not going to work and legally his company can 100% have this kind of plan. A women is wrote off work with doctors note. A man does not have a doctors not for any reason stating the need for time off. My company has a similar policy where women get 2 weeks paid time off for birth where men/spouse gets 3 days. Many companies including my husbands gets zero time paid off. Must take PTO or leave without pay. I am sorry but working in HR I am sure your husband is not the first one in the company to have a wife that has had a kid and they are not going to give your husband that kind of time off because then they are entitled to give it to everyone. Unfortunately that’s just how it goes.

6 Likes

Here in ontario men can take time off separate from the womens time off. Check laws in your area. If he is entitled to it then yes push it. Its great for you to have support at home while your recovering, but also its great for him to get bonding time as well. Some of these comments are just stupid. Clearly alot of bitter women in here.

3 Likes

My husband banked his overtime to take a week off with me and the baby

I would on push it if y’all can live without a paycheck, til you or him can get another JOB!

If it’s not a part of their policy he should have known that from the beginning and taken a different job.

1 Like

You’re kidding right? Do you realize there are women out there (:raising_hand_woman:t4:) who can’t even get maternity leave of ANY kind??

11 Likes

I would ask but not push. My spouse had paid leave but he only used 3 days. Most employers these days are at will, mean at anytime they can fire you without an excuse. He had time to make sure he had paid time off and should of saved it…the employer is not in obligation to pay men for maternity leave. Now say you had difficulties during delivery, he could apply for FMLA but it may not be paid. 9 months is plenty of time to save up and make arrangements.

1 Like

Legally they do not have to offer paid paternity leave. If you push are you willing to sue the company? The Estée Lauder lawsuit didn’t change laws and policies everywhere. It is legal for them to not offer paid leave to fathers. It’s written in their policy. He chose to accept the position. If he is pushing for policy change it won’t happen before you give birth. Let it go

6 Likes

You wait until 2 weeks before your due date to work on this :grimacing:
My husband was home for 3 weeks, but he used his earned time. His company policy has changed and now I believe fathers get 2 weeks paid by the company. Each company will have their own policy. You can have him sign up for FMLA but that doesn’t pay him, it just secures his position and he would have to cover the hours with his own earned time.

1 Like

A Karen? Or a person who
Want’s more from
Their company?! That’s not a “Karen!”

2 Likes

I would have him take as much time as his employer will allow.

My husband was allowed 2 days. You’re going to have to do it with or without him working so I’d be grateful he has a job and can have the option. Let him work and take off an extra day a week for a while or something?? But toughen up buttercup lol my newborn wasn’t even a week old, I had water coming in my house during a hurricane 230 am, had my second without him cause of C o vid restrictions. Was by myself with the 2 kiddos recently for 5 days straight. You can do this. Believe in yourself and set a routine from the get go. Helps a lot.

1 Like

They are legally allowed, it’s different because the women actually gave birth, it’s a medical excuse so it depends on the actual company and their policy. He could use vacation time and take a family leave for a couple weeks unpaid if that’s doable for your household.

3 Likes

You can push it and he will be jobless :woman_shrugging:t2: they don’t have to give him any paid time off

2 weeks notice isn’t enough time to be given leave in alot of positions whether entitled or not… So I’d not risk pushing it if you rely on his income.

In the states- employers aren’t mandated to pay time off for Fmla. Use sick time or go without- male or female

Ideally he would get paid leave but the company is not legally bound to. Even a woman doesn’t legally have to be given paid maternity leave. My company doesn’t offer that. The law stipulates a woman can take 12 weeks unpaid.

1 Like

You should be grateful he is able to get the time off. My man had to go back to work while I was still in the hospital. Don’t push it.

feels bad in Canadian

8 Likes

When I had my youngest my husband’s work gave him 2 paid days off while I was in the hospital.
Don’t push him to loose his job, ask him if he can turn in his vacation time and take a week or so off.

He has to take family leave it’s called paternal bonding time and I believe they get paid through the state not the job

2 Likes

Just have him stay home for a week . He doesn’t need off for 6 weeks lol

3 Likes

Don’t push… My husband’s union just included paid paternity time. It made me proud and happy for the next fathers but angry because our daughter was born the year prior.
Still a win for the future

Could end up putting a big target on his back, with the company doing anything to find a reason to let him go. Plus, lawyers cost money, lots of money lol. Is it right, no. In Canada, we contribute to EI which covers the cost of mat/pat leave, it’s not up to the company to pay it unless they choose to top up your wages. I would let it go personally and use some vacation time instead.

Haha I’ve had two sets of twins and my husband has had to go back to work after like 2 days

2 Likes

You might get him fired if you push it

2 Likes

he can take fml but hell only get paid if he has vacation, sick days or personal days

It will only become better if EVERYONE pushes for it ….

11 Likes

There’s a difference between maternity and paternity. If they don’t offer paternity then be grateful they are letting him take off so much time and letting him return back to work afterwards. Use vacation/sick time or look into maybe seeing if your state has a short term 6/8 week program. Some do I know but usually only for working mothers whose jobs don’t offer paid maternity.

2 Likes

My man used vacation time and took the kids and I on a road trip while I recovered. It was amazing

Lol he isnt giving birth. He is experiencing burth through you. Huge difference. Have him apply for fml.

4 Likes

You may want to look up the case that you’re referring to. They agreed to pay 6 weeks worth for child bonding for primary caregivers. My first born was in the NICU for a week and I hemorrhaged delivering her, and after she came home, my husband went back to work. I went back to work 3 weeks after having her. My second had to have emergency surgery at 4 weeks old. My husband used emergency vacation/leave so he could be at the hospital while our son was there. My youngest of the twins was in the NICU for a week, but knowing we were having twins and I was a high risk pregnancy, my husband saved 2 weeks of vacation time to be home with me and the kids. Honestly, after having a vaginal and 2 c sections, he wasn’t needed for around the clock help, and I did just fine by myself after a week with each delivery. My husband wasn’t the “primary” caregiver, but delegated his time accordingly knowing we had 8-9 months to plan for each pregnancy.

2 Likes

My husband takes a week off and then goes back to work after I have a baby

1 Like

Most companies don’t give men maternity leave just bc their gf or wife had a baby. It’s either take it without pay or if he had pto saved then take time off that way so he gets paid. My bf took a week off and didn’t get paid. That’s how his work is. They get no pto or vacation.

2 Likes

I think it’s a crock of SHIT it isn’t equal, for both mom and dad or partner.

Absolutely BS.
I shouldn’t “be grateful” he’s home for a week, when he should be home with me for the same amount of time and he PAID for it TOO!

System is so messed up!!

1 Like

Each company is different him pushing the issue could possibly cost him his job. Not all companies give dads paid maternity leave. I would just let it go so he still has a job and can still have money coming in and then when he gets home he can spend that time with u and the baby and help out. Some mothers don’t even get paid maternity leave. I got 6 weeks which turned into i think 10 weeks because I had medical issues after and ended up in the hospital a few days later after coming home when I had my daughter but it was unpaid leave. So I would say he can ask if u want but don’t push because u don’t want him to lose job which some companies do when a person pushes sometimes.

My husband only got a week off.
And I believe was used as vacation time.
Welcome to America. .don’t push it.

Definitely be a Karen :pensive: that’s absolutely no ok to have a policy like this just make sure he document everything in writing :ok_hand:t2::raised_hands:t2:everything saves all messages from employer ect

2 Likes

I would look into that stuff more…. In the US they aren’t legally required to give paid maternity or paternity leave…. They aren’t even required to give dads time off at all….

My husband saves up PTO or vacation time and takes 2/3 days off of work to be with us and then he has to go back to work

1 Like

That’s messed up. I don’t understand America. :frowning:

1 Like

Personally I wouldn’t risk my husband losing his job over it. Paternity paid leave although would be nice, is not considered “necessary “ in the states. My husband had to use fmla and PTO when we had our youngest. This sucks, but your having a baby and losing a job right now would not be ideal in most cases. Not a whole lot of companies offer paid paternity leave and I know of none in my area that do.

Leave it use vacation and sick time

Just have him be home for a week. I’ve had four sections. Did the first two on my own for recovery and my last two I had my husband stay for a week with me during recovery.

1 Like

If you push they might push him right out the door

1 Like

With only 2 weeks I don’t think it would make it through the legal channels to make a difference for you guys. But if he wanted to push it maybe it would be in effect by the time you have your next child. Maybe this time he could use his PTO time for a couple of weeks so he would still be paid.

1 Like

Absolutely push for the paid leave.

Mine had to use vacation for 2 weeks

Love, that is not how the law works. My background is in HR and private companies can have their own policies. DM me if you have questions! :relaxed:

5 Likes

You need to invest in a whole life insurance or index universal life insurance for times like these

Unfortunately it is legal. He can use PTO or vacation time but he doesn’t necessarily need 8 weeks off. This should have been planned for almost 9 months ago. Very few companies offer paternity leave or paid bonding time in the states sadly. I’ve only worked for 1 company that had paternity leave and paid bonding time of 6 weeks (Petco). I’d drop it.

4 Likes

Absolutely push it. America is so backwards.

2 Likes

Not all companies offer paternity leave even tho they should. Don’t push it you might cost him his job being a Karen about it

If you live in NY… there is PFL

1 Like

Mine was home with me for 8 weeks after my c-section and got paid. Then ended up home for another 2 because of Covid and was also paid for that.

If that is company policy u can’t do anything about it . No company is required to give paid maternity or paternity leave

You’re giving birth, not him. Woman get maternity leave because it’s extreme having a baby and the hormones and bleeding that comes afterwards :roll_eyes: men don’t go through that.

1 Like