Set up one small room, out of the way, with a bar.
Booze free reception. Party with friends when you get home from the honeymoon.
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We wanted to keep ours fun for all, so our invitations were specific in saying reception began at 6pm but at 9pm was BYOB, dancing, and shenanigans. That way, those with small kids were warned things would probably get a little rowdy later in the evening. It also allowed those family members who didn’t drink to still have their time. Worked out well!
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It’s completely your choice as a couple. However personally I think the best compromise is a cash bar where people pay for their own alcohol. That way if your friends want to drink, they can on their own dime and then your family would have to actively request and pay for drinks which may make them less likely to purchase any. However, ultimately it’s on your family members to remain sober. If they cannot handle the temptation and remain on the wagon simply because alcohol is present, that’s on them. If they cannot handle that, then they need to leave once it becomes too much; it’s their issue to handle and nobody else’s. What do they do when people around them get drinks in a restaurant? I doubt they absolutely HAVE to drink. It’s the same concept.
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After the wedding, do a thing for everyone. At a designated time, later on in the evening bring out the alcohol. That way if anyone wants to leave beforehand they can, and for the ones that stay they can participate in the after-after party. That’s also a good time for young children to leave.
Simple-Simple!!
my two cent worth–it is the brides day. she set the rules. Those who want a drink will have to make a few trips to their vehicle.
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You will not be able to cater to your recovering alcoholic family, to be honest…nor should they expect you to. Enjoy your wedding and reception without trying to meet the needs of everyone. It’s impossible.
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Their sobriety/triggers is their responsibility. Just saying. If they cant say no to anything yet (no judgment) then they shouldnt come.
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We are responsible for our own sobriety. It’s his wedding too, he should be able to have drinks if it’s something he wants.
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To all the people saying “how boring” you must have a problem if you think you need alcohol to have fun or not “be boring”. 
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Cash bar if they want it they pay for it.
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Honestly I would not want alcohol at my wedding
Some people get out of hand plus you do not want people out there driving when they have been drinking. I would feel guilty if they have a wreck killing themselves or some innocent person
They could get stopped by the law. The choice is yalls…no-onelses.
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I would say have an area like a beer tent where they can go for drinks. You can go with the no alcohol but be prepared for those showing up out of respect and then leaving immediately or not showing up at all.
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Just have it. Recovering alcoholics will always face that temptation n it’s up to them to keep their sobriety, no one else
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We didn’t want the expense of liquor at my daughters wedding . It was available if they purchased it . I provided soda coffee and draft beer.
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Just don’t make it an open bar. I’m 7 yrs in recovery n when I got married the VERY few family of mine tht came are the drinks n hubs whole family is n recovery. And you can NOT hold your life back because other ppl haven’t hit their rock bottom n quite drinking/drugs. That is on THEM if they drink not u
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You’re never going to please everyone. It’s your day. You choose. Booze unfortunately is everywhere. Tempting for some, but it’s their responsibility, not yours
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For my wedding we didnt drink bcuz i was pregnant with my dauter so we did a dry wedding but the guys friends and fam had drinks cigars and toasts after party
I would not have one I dont want drunken idiots Ruin my wedding day
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Have soft drinks for your side and beer for his no hard liquor
We didn’t have alcohol at our wedding. I didn’t want a drunken mess and some of our family members act like complete idiots when drinking.
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Limited Alcohol
. Beer & wine.
Red & white and 2-3 beer types.
Limited quantities.
No open bar.
Served or scheduled time.
If reception is 6-10. Apps first then alcohol 6:30-9.
Recovering alcoholics are recovering for a reason. Their not to weak to say no and have self control. You snd your fiancé need to find middle ground now. It’ll help for future family gatherings
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I work alot of weddings (I do catering). We have had many couples with this same issue. The families have never wanted them to make their day about their struggles. So we have had some couples only start cash bars at the end of everything when the dancing etc begins. We have had some that served ONLY with dinner and Mocktails for the toast. We have had some where they asked those that wanted to drink to BYOB, and remind them to NOT go overboard with it or they will be asked to leave. So the sky is the limit for choices that you can make to accommodate both sides. We have NEVER had a wedding where there were arguments about not being able to drink etc. When the requests were made prior, and there were no “Surprises” once they arrived. If those that chose to drink didn’t respect the rules, they were asked to leave by Security or by the Event Planner when seen getting out of hand. I hope this helps give you some options and ideas.
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I come from a family of recovering alcoholics as well. While everyone is different, ours never let others restrict themselves, if that makes sense. They didn’t care if there was alcohol there or if immediate family members were drinking. I like the suggestion of the cash bar. Instead of wine at the tables, maybe alternate with a sparkling cider.
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Hv a designated time for when drinking is going to start and the after party, thst way anyone who doesn’t want to be around drinking can go to wedding stay a little bit and then leave and others can stay later and drink and party. On invitations be specific sp everyone knows there will be mo drinking until a certain time that way everyone can come and be there and leave at will.
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I would honestly tell everyone that if you cant accept my wishes on no alcohol then please wait till after
Make it a BYOB. No alcohol will be supplied if they want it they bring enough for them
Recovering addict are around alcohol everyday. It’s sold almost everywhere. I’m sure they wouldn’t be uncomfortable. It’s expected at big parties and weddings.
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Maybe drinks only after 9pm or so ? That way if ppl choosr to leave they can fairly enjoy most of the wedding ?
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Gotta hide the candy because the adults cannot control theirselves? Lmao.
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As someone 5 years sober, it absolutely wouldn’t bother me to attend any event with alcohol and if it did start to effect me it’s MY responsibility to leave. Not my family’s responsibility to keep me sober, it’s mine.
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Serve alcohol and let adults be adults (make their own choices)
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Yep, have a paid bar. Then you aren’t providing it and It isn’t easy access. Make the bar timed event. I went to a wedding where mixed drinks and beer were not served until after the dinner. There was wine spritzer fountain and a sparkling cider fountain for those who wanted to toast without alcohol that was running only during the meal and for toasts/speaches.
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Cash bar. If they want it, they pay for it.
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You can’t punish one side
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We didn’t have alcohol, just coffee, punch, and cake in the church reception hall. The rehearsal dinner the night prior was the opposite, and the wedding party and family were quite hung over.
BYOB put on invitations
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Have the drinks, they’re adults and can handle it
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Two receptions!! One more “formal” reception with the sit down dinner and then the “after party” where fun music and booze is available.
To be fair, no recovering person can avoid alcohol in their life, people have drinks at restaurants and such… so providing part of the venue for the more formal aspect and then something labeled “after party” it will give them the option to attend or not depending on where they are in their recovery.
If budget doesn’t allow this… everyone attends the wedding and make the reception the after party. Advise everyone that the venue will have alcohol available to those who wish to partake.
Alcoholics are responsible for their own sobriety and society is not.
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It’s ok to not get blasted drunk at a wedding. If people can’t handle that, they can leave and get drunk on their own dime, at their own place. 
It’s your wedding. You do what you want. If your fiance can’t understand or doesn’t care why, then maybe there shouldn’t be a wedding.
Yes you should have booze at the wedding.
Have the wedding you want. Adults make their own choices.
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Cash bar can limit people from going to far with too much alcohol, cause when it,s supplied sometime people tend to go overboard
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Honestly I would just make mocktails available to those that can’t or just don’t want to drink. This will be a common thing throughout your marriage with events and get togethers. The key is balance its is okay to have a few drinks and enjoy your night. However with people you love recovering that may not be strong enough to say no, I do see your worry. However please rememeber the thought and support is always nice but it’s not your job to keep them sober. If an individual becomes a problem make it very clear in the beginning they will be asked to leave out of respect for your wedding day as well as the other people attending. Just don’t have an open bar and limit drinks. Everyone gets a punch card if they are drinking once they reach their limit that’s it.
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No alcohol- respect your families sobriety
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Have booze but also have lots of non alcohol options
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A wedding without alcohol
Honestly it is the responsibility of the recovering alcoholics not to drink they are adults
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Have a paid bar with a slightly secluded vibe. Not in your face and not free, maybe also times so it’s like only during dinner or only after etc.
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It’s not your responsibility to keep recovering alcoholics sober, it’s their responsibility.
Have a bar and limit drinks; 6 drinks per person who is drinking.
Have a mocktail bar for the non drinkers/recovering alcoholics. Balance is what makes the world go round.
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They have to want to be sober.
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Life gives us choices and a recovering alcoholic can choose not to drink and having alcohol at a wedding is no more tempting than going to a restaurant that serves alcohol, if they choose to break their sobriety that’s on them not you so why don’t you and your husband to be have a talk together and then go from there
No booze at the wedding and let it be known that there will be booze at the after party 
Other people shouldn’t have to miss out because others around are alcoholics. Harsh but the truth.
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If you can’t comprise for the wedding are you sure you should get married. I vote no alcohol just to put my two cents in.
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Why are you worried about everyone else on YOUR special day…
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In my opinion it is on the recovering alcoholics to not indulge in the alcohol I’m sure they go many places with alcohol but also give nonalcoholic options so I would say yes booze at the wedding
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I’m a bartender, some in that instance have just beer, wine, and soda, no hard liquor or you can have some punch bowls of a few mixed drinks, you can basically request what you’d like to make everyone happy.
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My mom is vehemently anti alcohol because of trauma from her upbringing. My husband was very supportive (he’s Hispanic) but beer is a usual part of family events on his side. We compromised and made it byob. As in we were not providing alcohol but didn’t say you couldn’t. I also sat mom down before and told her so she could prepare.
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This is a no brainer for me. No one’s “good time” is worth another person’s recovery.
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I like what someone said. Go ahead and have alcohol but also have lots of non-alcoholic options.
If your family wanted to drink they would I’m sure ur family knows there will be booze in places they go maybe just make a few drinks that r non alcoholic and some that are. Or make the alcoholic drinks where u have to pay if they want em.
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I would base this decision on how well every person in his family can handle their alcohol. If they are the type to get drunk and rowdy or aggressive then I would say no alcohol. One person who can’t handle their alcohol can really ruin the whole party. But if they are the type that can drink and still handle themselves then I’d say it shouldn’t be an issue
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Have both options available if they want to stay sober they will
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Why don’t you compromise with only beer wine and hard cider and seltzer’s.
If he insists on having a liquor you guys can pick one signature drink for you guys. So like a tequila sunrise or martini or something you know.
And vice versa you guys can choose one or two virgin drinks to feature for those who can’t or shouldn’t drink.
But I probably wouldn’t do an open bar. I would maybe think of it being a cash bar. That way for those who truly want to drink can drink alcohol but it perhaps seems to be respectful of those others who cannot or shouldn’t.
If all else fails in discussions then BYOB. So drinking is allowed but alcohol will not be provided. You also won’t pay as much for that option so bonus.
I would make it BYOB or have options available for both. No hard liquor.
Personally we chose not to have any at our wedding and some people complained but the day of the wedding no one said anything about it.
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Recovering alcoholics need to exhibit willpower and remember why they don’t partake anymore! It’s their own choice.
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shouldn’t the alcohol be reserved for the reception?
Make sure you have some sparkling cider for non drinkers.
We only allowed beer/mixed drinks at our Wedding reception ~ no shots! We wanted our guests to have a good time but not go overboard.
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It’s a wedding not a party. I would not have it for the simple fact if they get hammered and sloppy you will be responsible for any damages that may happen and people can act ignorant as hell when they are drunk I wouldn’t want them acting like fools and ruining my big day or having to baby sit.
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Have a cash bar - - - -
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Have a cash alcohol beverage bar and offer free non-alcohol bar for soda, juice, punch, tea and coffee.
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Have a VERY limited amount of beer, maybe a couple wine bottles, and then soda/punches available. Charge for the alcohol. It all limits consumption and prevents rowdiness. Request no hard liquor.
I wouldn’t do BYOB because it’s an invitation for hard liquors and drama.
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Beer/wine seems like a good compromise. Alcoholics being alcoholics is not the responsibility of everyone else. There is alcohol everywhere in the world and they walk past it everyday. That’s part of recovery.
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- You could have an open bar for how many hours you prefer and then not serve alcohol after that time is up.
- Only provide beer and wine. Once it goes, that’s it.
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It’s your wedding. What do you want? Those that choose not to participate in anything you set up, it is their problem. Never ever plan your wedding for someone else. Unless they are paying the bill, they have no say. And still maybe not then.
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This is hard however as recovering alcoholics they are meetings work through the fact that eventually they are gonna have to conscientiously say no thank you. You could do a moderate situation. Like say you buy two bottles of wine for every table that does drink and nonalcoholic wine for those tables that don’t.
The thing is it’s just as uncomfortable for them for you to refuse alcohol for others as it wlll be known that your family is the reason they couldn’t enjoy themselves.
Compromise you don’t even talk about any compromise so your also in the wrong in this. Hugs. Being married is a lot of compromise and this will set the table for future situations making it uncomfortable
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Have alcohol at a after wedding party where you are not in attendance so that family members have the choice to leave…not the wedding itself
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It’s both your wedding. So try limiting the booze if it’s needed. I understand what you’re saying with your family too but if it’s your wedding they should respect that and not be acting fools. And hubby should understand that and tell him and his peeps to not act like fools either. If they not ok with limited booze then they aren’t real family or friends. Have virgin options too. Good look!
Leave the wedding alcohol free but do a after party somewhere for those who want a few drinks
Society makes people anxious about not having alcohol at a function. It’s not necessary, people are just scared to socialize sober. I’d just put my foot down and say no or just don’t have a reception 
I am in recovery and getting married. My family some are in recovery some drink too much and get crazy! My partner’s family are normal and drink socially.
We are having beer,champagne and a mild signature cocktail no hard liquor so hopefully things don’t get out of hand.
Good luck
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You can have the bar, but don’t have an open bar. Talk to your husband and ask him to compromise with both, have the drinks but, have it where there’s a limit and then after that limited amount y’all paid for, they have to pay out of pocket, as for your family that is recovering, tell them their limit is lower (if they drink at all) and tell them that after that limit they’re cut off period
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I say offer a cash bar! Find one that will make Mocktails
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Have alcohol available after the ceremony and short reception… switch it up to party mode… this gives time for those not comfortable to leave… and still be part of your big day. Their sobriety is their responsibility, not yours.
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Cash bar, cheaper wine on the tables for those that want it.
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Only serve alcohol at the reception afterwards and I would let it be known that there will be alcohol there so they can leave after the ceremony if they don’t wish to partake
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Have it set to where after a certain time those who do not wish to let lose are welcome to stay or leave. My wedding ended pretty quickly and only about 15 people stayed after for a bonfire and drinks etc. We got the ceremony, the dinner the dances etc out of the way and then it was time to party.
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Tbh he should really respect your want in this situation. Recovery is so fucking hard especially when everyone around you is doing the thing your recovering from. Alot of people that don’t understand addiction think they can just stop and never do it again but it truly is like they say in meetings, you live with it one day at a time, you still think about it every day. They’re constantly fighting that voice in their heads telling them one more time will be ok and that’s when you relapse and spiral especially at big family events. So yes you have every right to be upset. On the other hand they also have to be strong enough in their recovery to say no too. Just because they’re in recovery doesn’t mean others should have to stop especially when they’re not addicts and do it occasionally, this is where the you have to be strong enough to say no I don’t need that. This is coming from someone with a past of it.
Have an AA meeting at the same time
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Alcohol free wedding and an after party with your friends with alcohol
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Offer alcohol and non alcoholic drinks… put limits on alcohol and after that others can pay for their own. You don’t have to supply a large amount, or if any at all… I’ve been to plenty of weddings where I’ve paid for my own from the start
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Have the booze. Let your family know so they don’t get surprised. Let them face their fears and will power because that’s how we learn.
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I would do BYOB or maybe just have beer and wine without the hard liquors.
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Serve both alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks. If any - it will help reinforce why we quit drinking:wink: strength in numbers sweetie 
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Recovering addicts should be able to be around alcohol and not fall off the wagon. Life is full of temptations. I have friends who are recovering addicts and they function perfectly fine around others who are drinking.
I would personally be bored if I were to go to a wedding and there was no alcohol. At least have beer and wine. People tend to get more drunk on hard alcohol.
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