Should we cancel?

My husband and I have 3 kids. My step son is with us every other week. We were planning an after Christmas trip while the kids are out of school. Plans changed due to time off from work having to change. My step son will be on a trip out of state for Thanksgiving with his mom and again on another trip the 1st week of Christmas break out of state with his mom. The only time we can get time off and can take our trip is the same time as he will be gone. We always plan all trips with all the kids. My step is 13 and when we talked about planning a trip to Disneyland 2 weeks ago he said he was not interested in going. Should we go without him or cancel the trip and not take out other 2 children?
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I would talk to your husband and see what he’s okay with. My opinion… go on the vacation since your stepson isn’t interested in going anyways, but you never know… his dad might feel some way about it since you always take them all.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should we cancel?

No if he doesn’t want to go don’t make the others suffer

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So he’s not going to be there, and he doesn’t actually want to go, but you think you should cancel the trip regardless…?
That doesn’t make any sense. You have two other kids that deserve that trip.

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I say take your trip. If he isn’t interested in going and is going somewhere else with his mom then he’s not missing out on anything. Your other children shouldn’t have to miss out on something they’ll enjoy.

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I say if he’s going to be gone and doesn’t want to go, go with the other kids and bring him back a souvenir

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Ask him. Make sure he’s okay with it.

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I wouldn’t cancel! It’s not like he isn’t getting experiences at the same time… also, he said he wasn’t interested…

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I would discuss it with him and make sure he’s not going to feel left out. And plan to do something with just him another week.

I wouldn’t cancel, but I’d want a conversation with him and mom so there is no “you went on vacation without your son” blaming down the road.

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Why would you cancel it???

I would go. just because he doesn’t want to go Doesn’t mean u have to cancel

Go anyways. He doesn’t want too but the other littles would

Girl how would that be fair to your other 2 babies :sob: he dont wanna go. And hes going somewhere with his mom anyways go enjoy time with your other babies and let him enjoy time with his mother!!

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If he doesn’t want to go to Disneyland then I don’t think y’all should force him to go. Take your other two children

Do not cancel. Make it known you guys would love for him to come, but he’s got other things already planned.

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I agree… don’t cancel the trip!!! Express to him that you’d love for him to go because he’s one of your children, but if he really doesn’t want to go, you’re not going to force him, but you are still going and taking the other kiddos. Don’t make them miss out when he doesn’t even want to go.

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Ask him. Make sure he is included in the conversation of should we go. It will make him feel included and understand that your are not playing favorites…it’s just timing. If he doesn’t want to go anyway I am sure it probably isn’t hurting his feelings

Talk to him. Say you want to take the younger kids to Disney and you were thinking of going when he’s away with other people.

Then discuss about a trip you can maybe take with all 3 kids in the new year and ask if he has any suggestions.

At 13, he may consider Disney a bit babyish

I would go. If he’s not going to be there AND he doesn’t want to go anyway: what is he missing? If you don’t go… he still gets two trips and memories with his mom while the little 2 get nothing. It’s so nice you’re wanting to be inclusive and he’s a lucky boy to have you as a bonus mom but don’t let the other kids miss out on something he’s not even scheduled to be around to miss.

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If he’s not interested then he isn’t interested. I’d still go.

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I would go, you can’t always plan everything around when you have all the children, and he is going on trips with his mother, so it’s not like he doesn’t get to go on trips and is being left behind while you go. He is old enough to know that and he said he didn’t want to go so I would take the other because it’s not fair that they miss out.

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Don’t cancel that would be silly not fair on your other kids but just make sure he is ok with it tell him you wish he was coming with you and dad he’s not .

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If he’s not interested then you move along with your plans.

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Dont cancel :two_hearts: them other babies would lo0ve it!!

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Go on the trip. It’s his loss if he doesn’t go.

Your stepson is already taking trips with his mom. Your kids deserve to take a vacation also. I would go with my kids

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I’d say talk to him and his mother at the same time and have him make it very clear he isnt interested in going anyway.

If he changes his mind and you can reschedule for later, I’d try to, but if he doesn’t care fo real, go.

He’s 13. Talk to him about it and explain the situation and just see how he reacts?

You already asked him and he said he didn’t care🤷🏻‍♀️ why cancel it and ruin the trip for the other 2 kids? He’ll be on another vacation already

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Yeah don’t cancel your trip for one kid. He said he didn’t want to go and if he changes his mind then him, his mom and your partner need to have a talk about distributing time

Go without him ,Why should your other kids miss out ,buy him a souvenir

Go without him if he’s not interested.

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If hes not interested anyways, just go. Dont make the other kiddos lose out simply cuz hes not around, when he wouldnt even wanna go anyways if he was around. Even if he wasnt not interested, id say go, he will be on a trip of his own, so hes being deprived of anything

Go without, he’s not interested and will be away anyway

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Don’t cancel if he’s not interested

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I would go without him. His mother obviously takes him on solo trips your children dont get to go on. Its ok to take your kids on trips your step son doesn’t get to go on. Coming from someone that grew up in 2 homes and has 2 step kids. There were many trips i had to choose between going with my mom or going with my dad. And there were quite a few trips where my step kids had to choose. It will definitely be ok. Especially with your step child saying he isnt interested in going anyway…

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He already said he wasn’t interested.And he has trips planned anyway. Go enjoy your vacation.

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You invited him , he said he doesn’t want to go so go without him. It’s not as if you went and never let him know about it .

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Wth if he is not interested why cancel the fun for your other 2 kids?? Go!! And let him go on vacation with his mom.

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He’s 13 and sometimes at that age they just simply don’t want to do things. If he wanted to go you would know about it. Go and enjoy there will be plenty of other things I’m sure that he can consider taking you up on.

Why make a big deal out of it. He not interested so there should be no problem going.

If he’s ok with not going
Then that’s on him

I would go without him. No need for the other children to suffer you can’t control his moms schedule and he doesn’t want to go

Just go, ask him again, get it in text and go

Go. He is telling you he is too old for Disney. Doesn’t sound like he is neglected. Going on several vacations with mom.

Just go. It’s not a huge deal.

Why wouldn’t you take your other 2 if he’s not interested? Let them babies have fun and you all enjoy family vacation. :slight_smile: