Should we let our 6 year old go out with my ex husband (not his father)?

I have a dilemma. I was married for three years to an amazing man we just didn’t have the same views and ended up drifting apart. We still respect each other, and we have a great co-parenting relationship. My current boyfriend of 7 years and I share a six-year-old together. My other kids with my ex are 8 and 10. They get along great with their younger half-sibling and have never been weird about my boyfriend or the fact that their dad and I split up because we have never had any drama…Well, my ex-husband is taking my kids to great wolf lodge overnight, and he has offered to take my six-year-old (not his child) with them. He really wants to go because his older siblings have been non-stop talking about it, and I don’t see an issue with it, but my boyfriend does…what are your thoughts? It has started causing tension between the boyfriend and me, and I feel bad that my six-year-old is so excited to go but may not be able to…

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I think you should respect your boyfriends wishes. I think that he has a right to say no he is just as much as a father as you are a mother. if you did not want your child doing something and he were to ignore your decision how would you feel.

Also I would try and have a better understanding as his reason why maybe your bf just feels that your son is too young or your bf is concerned over the fact that he or you are not there to watch over your son as you or he would. (not saying your ex-husband wouldn’t watch him) But I feel that if he had that feeling it’s valid

I think it sounds here like the boyfriend is the one who has an issue with the ex-husband. If your ex-husband continues to be apart of all of yalls lives there’s no reason why your youngest son can join his siblings. He should make memories with them! If you trust him and he never puts your other children in harms way, what’s the problem? It sounds like jealousy. Have your partner explain to you why he doesn’t want him to go and after talking it out, if it can’t be resolved then your boyfriend needs to explain to his son that he can’t go. And then as a mom I would insist that he take his son to do something fun for a bonding experience while his siblings are gone. That way he doesn’t feel left out at all. And if your boyfriend of 7 years doesn’t take him out or let’s it slip his mind, as a momma you need to realize that is a big red flag and he is more than likely completely selfish and yall need to stop that right away. Because yalls son will be the one who suffers.

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I see no issue as long as he treats them both equal. One of my children would go visit dad and her sibling which was not his would go too. They had more fun going together than she did going by herself. As long as everybody all adults are okay with it then there shouldn’t be a problem. If one does have an hangups about it talk it out together then maybe all of yall could talk together about it. If still no agreement ots probably best to not go even though that child doesnt understand why or why not. Just give current a different perspective and may change his mind.

I think that’s amazing! As long as everyone is being treated equally, the more people our kids have in their life that love them and spend time with them the better off they are! :heart:

(We have a big blended family, him with 2 previous, me with 1 previous and us 3 together. My ex husband will take all kids as will my now husbands ex wife.)

I was in a similar situation as a child. My mom would send my sister (from her new husband) to my dad’s house with me sometimes for spring break or summer vacation. My dad adored my little sister and my sister and I always had a great time! I have memories that I cherish from these times. It also didn’t make my sister and I feel like “half sisters.”

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should we let our 6 year old go out with my ex husband (not his father)?

I would let him go, that’s family to him and not fair to him because your current doesn’t agree.

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I think it’s wonderful. A blended family that includes everyone is all that should matter. You guys can turn it into a date night for yourselves

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Let him go with his siblings and have fun. Just because the ex isn’t the father doesn’t mean he should get left behind.

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Let the boyfriend know that stuff like this will happen. I mean I’m sure the ex is ok with the now boyfriend doing stuff with his kids :woman_shrugging: if it’s going to cause you and the boyfriend to fight then don’t send the child. It isn’t fair for the 6 year old but sometimes adults like to be in charge and think about themselves rather than the child. Just my opinion

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I would let him go. Family is family. Nothing should get in the middle of that

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My youngest went places with his older brothers and their dad. There were never any issues. Why does your youngest father object if there have never been any issues before? He is the father, he should have as much say as the mother about if his son goes. I would really try to find out why.

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If your boyfriend is the father and doesn’t agree, then so be it. Try to persuade him but if not then HE has to explain to your child why he can’t go. The brothers are family but your ex is not. Blendid families work for some but not others. Thats something you two will have to figure out later on.

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If your husband won’t allow him to go with his siblings, then take him yourself. :woman_shrugging:

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:heart: I would let him go. Make a date night out of it.

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That’s amazing. Definitely let him go.

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If there’s no reason not to trust the ex with your youngest, I don’t see a problem. It’s not like he’s going alone…his siblings are going to be there too. It kind of puts a wedge between the kids… my dad/your dad…his family/my family. I’d want them all to be treated equal :heart: Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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Id let him go.
But if not then take him to do something else that’s fun.

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Aww I’d definitely let him go soo lovely of him to offer :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Let him go. If there are no issues there isn’t any reason not to

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let him go, let them be kids,

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That’s a tough one. How is the relationship between your ex and your boyfriend. It would be great if they could get along. I would send the kid to have fun with his siblings but at the same time I would respect the boyfriends wishes because that is his child as well. If he’s wanting him to stay behind because he’s not comfortable with an overnight stay that’s one thing but if it’s just because he doesn’t like your ex or is using this as an excuse for jealousy then no I would send him and deal with the argument. … if you do keep him home I would make sure that your boyfriend was the one who had to tell the child and crush his little heart.

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I would let him go it’s great how your ex husband wants to include your other child just because he isn’t the father doesn’t mean to say he should get left behind

I dont see a problem with him wanting to include your kid in these fun things. I think that’s pretty awesome honestly.

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What would be the difference, if a friend invited him?
It sounds like your boyfriend is making it about him and not your child. That’s sad.
Of course he should go!!
Just like your ex’s kids (and yours, of course) shouldn’t be excluded if you and your boyfriend make plans with your youngest.

The kids will naturally miss out, from time to time, but if he’s invited, it would be hurtful to your youngest if he didn’t go.

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Pack that 6 year old up and let him go with his siblings who cares what the boyfriend thinks. your ex is trying to invole and not leave behind your children sibling I feel that is the most adult caring thing he is doing. Tell boyfriend to grow up. I have a brother from my dad and his ex my mom let my brother join when ever we asked for him so we could all have a relationship.

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Does your boyfriend live with you and raise his son with you on a daily basis? If the answer is yes then he has a right to say no to his son going even if doing so makes him a jerk and as the other parent you need to respect that in front of your son even if you don’t agree.

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I’d let him go. I have a different dad then my younger brother and sister. And when their dad and our mom split, he still treated me like his own and when he’d pick them up for visitation, he’d pick me up too and it made me feel special that I got to go with my siblings and do fun things even though I wasn’t blood related to their dad. I loved it.

I would allow it… he’s not trying to be his dad he’s just trying to include him to do fun things with his siblings!

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I would let him go. Do what’s right for you mama….

Let that baby go with his siblings. Thats a great step in co parenting if your ex wants to take their brother. Ive let my ex husband watch my toddler while her dad and I had to work. (Not his child. We are divorced cause he cheated and got my best friend pregnant)

LET THAT BABY GO!!! Then use that free time to have a relaxing weekend with your spouse! :grin: id want all of my children to be able to have a great vacation together if it was offered. You’re lucky to have a great ex who’s willing to include that child instead of turning he / she away. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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If it were me I’d let him go

Let him go, help you current guy to understand, kids just know love

I would let my girls go with my step kids mom if they were invited and my girls older siblings wanted the littles to go. And I’m the step mom.

That’s good coparenting. It’s unfortunate that your boyfriend is letting his insecurities stand in the way of his child’s benefit. My ex and his wife have taken my younger child with them places (not his child) so she could have the experience with my older child (his child). That is how mixed families should work and I think it’s wonderful that your ex is mature and generous enough to offer.

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Of course he should be able to go! Sounds like a fun time!! The adults should all get over it and do what is best for kids!

That’s awesome co-parenting. Some of us dream/wish for that. By all means I would let him go.

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you better let that baby go with his siblings!!!

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See I would let him go but the issue is the child’s father doesn’t want his child going with her ex. I think your ex sounds great in not leaving his child’s siblings out. Maybe explain to your man that it’s about the kids and there’s nothing weird going on with it.

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You and boyfriend should go as well?

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Everybody saying just let him go, completely ignoring the father & his right for input about where his child goes. IT’S HIS CHILD TOO.

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Let the child go and have fun

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I think he should be allowed to go. Those are his brothers. This is what you do when you have a blended family. IF everyone involved can act like mature adults.

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Sounds like the bf needs to grow tf up

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Your boyfriend needs to man up above his dumb shit and think about his kid.
He isn’t going to come back calling him daddy and forget u
Udumbass
He should be happy that he thought of him and not left him out

Let him go…that sounds like a great way to have a lovely, large, blended family. The more love the better. I understand your current boyfriend’s concerns but just really take the time to explain why you want him to go. From my blended family to yours, that’s truly wonderful.

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I think that’s really admirable your ex-husband wants to include your child to be with his other siblings for an overnight trip so he’s not excluded. I understand that may be hard for your current boyfriend. I would communicate, ask why he feels like that and explore this.

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Let him go! That’s an incredible opportunity. And what an amazing relationship you all have. The kids will all thank you later!

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I would let him go despite what your boyfriend says. At the end of the day you are mom and what you say goes. Kids do not understand why they are being left pit only that they are. Its not like he isn’t going to bring him back lol childishness

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Don’t let him go respect ur boyfriend and his father’s wishes. Instead take ur son and boyfriend out for a special trip.

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I would so let him go!!!

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It depends on what the real problem is

Let him go. Not sure y your spouse is having an issue with it besides jealousy cause your ex can afford to take the kids somewhere n maybe your spouse can’t afford that n that’s y he’s saying no?

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I think it’s an amazing idea! It’s supposed to be all about the kiddos and if all of you can co-parent that well then all of your kids will thank you for that one day! I know my hubby and I have a great relationship with my step sons mom and her husband, their youngest misses his brother when he comes to our house so he has actually come to our house and stayed the night and will be during this summer too! It helps the kids so much to see all parents get along so well!

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My dad used to take my baby sister (who was not his) with us to events. It was her choice to stop going.

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Not if his father is against it. That’s his child.

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I understand the father saying no but hey in this day n age you don’t get men like that…Mama the choice is urz n i would let him go

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Is your ex husband single lmao

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I would let him go,
His siblings are going to have a lovely time without him and will be talking about there time away and he might feel jealous.
Why spite the child on a bit of time away with his siblings. Your ex could not even bother about him which I think is nice that he is

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You should respect your boyfriends decision with his own child

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I would press the issue and let him go. BF should be happy for his son to have more people in his life that love him! Good luck :grin:

I don’t see an issue. If everyone gets along what’s the problem? And I think it’s great that your ex is willing to take your other child. My son’s little brother has gone overnight with me so he doesn’t miss out. Your boyfriend is being selfish. It’s about the kids. They are siblings and your 6 year old shouldn’t have to miss out because daddy is being immature.

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Let him go. Tell ur boyfriend to stop being jealous

If you can trust that he’d be taken care of (Your other kids, are always taken care of, id assume), I would let him go. Id remind your boyfriend, this isnt about you guys, its about the children. He would be with his siblings, having a great time. Why should he be left out?

N if your child’s father still doesn’t let him go with the other children then he better be man enough to tell the child y not :woman_shrugging:t3: n not blame you!

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Let him go with his siblings. It’s not about your boyfriend. Stay strong momma

Ur ex husband sounds lovely he is petting his 2 children first by including there half sibling not a lot of men would do that ur boyfriend could just be a little put out by it but I wouldn’t stop the child going if they want to

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I don’t think he realizes how lucky he is to have this type of relationship with the ex. Have you discussed why he doesn’t feel comfortable with him going? If the tables were turned would you be mad if he let him go do something you expressed you weren’t comfortable with? I’m not saying you’re wrong, just try to get to the root of the problem and address it. If everyone can be on the same page, you will have three kids come out of this to have a greater understanding and one day they may be adults in the same boat.

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I really don’t see any issue hun, your six year old may not be blood but is still his family, he is the father of his siblings. Sounds like he genuinely likes this child and wants to keep them all bonded. This trip can really make life long memories for all your children. I think your ex is doing the right thing, imagine how your son would feel if he was never invited anywhere with his siblings

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My ex husband (father of my oldest) will watch my stepdaughter (11) and my youngest daughter (7). He’s taken them for an entire weekend more than once. I love having his help since we don’t have many people able (or willing) and forever grateful.

Why not let him go if you trust the other kids father and know he will be safe then why not? That’s some kid free time with your boyfriend that you can have alone time to just enjoy each other :wink:

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I think I would discuss WHY he is concerned. Is it due to who is taking the child specifically or just due to his 6 year old being away from home. Does the child go on overnights anywhere else or very often?

I’d be so excited! What a wonderful time for the kids. You could use the time for romantic, date night. Wolf lodge is a blast.

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Putting yourself before a child is kind of selfish… he should put whatever is bothering him aside so your child can go have fun with his siblings and talk with you about it… it shouldn’t affect you children and their summer fun.

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Some people are quite confused with parents that co parent awesomely. My 1st child and 2nd child have different fathers. My 1st( son) child’s family invited my second( daughter) child to hang out on holidays. Each family buys the other siblings gift invited to birthday parties etc. I got into a relationship with a man and he found it weird…I rarely ever fought with my kids dads. Even though they don’t pay child support. He would pick fights with my kids dad. I ended that. Found out there are men who find it uncomfortable with their spouses doing co parenting. Everything ain’t gotta be a fight.

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Absolutely let him go!!! When my mom divorced my sisters dad he still took me and his family still allowed me.to be part of the family and events! It’s so important not just for your and his kids to see a good relationship but for all of your kids to see it! Please tell your brother he needs to chill

I can’t imagine being the kid that gets left out of something like that. I would try to put your boyfriend in your sons perspective on how upsetting that would be if he wasn’t able to go. But if dad really is uncomfortable with it then I would plan something really fun for him while they’re gone so he’s not totally left out.

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Seems like a great guy that he would ask to take the younger child.

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I don’t see the issue. I have two kids with my ex husband and he’s re married and so am I. My youngest is not biologically his and he actually claims him as his bonus child and so does his wife but they get him everytime they get the other two. But even before that if he wanted to go over when his siblings did we still let him . I think it’s great and so much easier when everyone can co parent

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I think it’s great that your ex is including your 6 year old and I definitely would let them go.

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I think it was very nice of the ex to offer and if he’s a good guy, I’d let him. He’s trying to be inclusive and considerate and I think that speaks volumes about him.

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Your ex is wonderful for offering. Let your baby go have fun with his siblings.

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I’m sorry but don’t ever let a man tell you what to do your kids come first let that boy go with siblings and enjoy summer

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No issue at all. I’d do it! We take my step-kids’ half sibling all the time for weekends. Why would you deny a child another positive adult or role model. Or obviously memories! Why? If there is no valid reason, then dont.

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I’d let your son go. Your bf obviously is having some type of insecurities about it. But this isn’t about him,it’s about your son

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My daughters dad sometimes has my son overnight (not his dad) and vice versa, I sometimes have my ex’s stepdaughter overnight

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He is 6 and he sees his siblings doing fun and cool stuff, he doesn’t want to be left out.
Its great that your ex is able to include all the kiddos.

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I would let him go. His other siblings are going, you said he’s a great guy and if he offered why not?

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It should be a decision both parents make. You and your boyfriend. The father of your child, not you and your ex husband. :woman_shrugging:

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I do let mine go with my step daughter to her mom’s house

I don’t see a issue.

You’re a mother before a girlfriend…that is a great opportunity for your son and he should be able to go with his siblings. Especially if you guys have a great relationship. 100%

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Respect your bf that’s his child

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Let him go be with his siblings. Its about the children. And as long as you trust him you should know he will be fine. As long as you know he will be safe and thats not a concern let him go. Its should be about the children and nothing else. Sounds like you boyfriend may be jealous.

Let him go
If ur man gets mad

Just leave him an apology note

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If your bf is so worried about it tell him to go with them :joy:

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Id let him go- Y is your bf so against it???
Does him and your ex get along otherwise?

If the child’s father is not comfortable with it then no. I personally would but if my boyfriend and child’s dad doesn’t not feel comfortable the answer is no.