Should we put a tracker on our teens phone?

Should we put a tracker on our teens phone? our daughter is 16 and has always been a pretty good kid but my husband thinks we need to basically spy on her to make sure she isnt doing “bad things” on her phone. I guess his younger brother started acting out at her age and he doesnt want the same thing happeneing with her. I feel like this is an invasion of privacy and dont think we should do it, i already have the passsword to her phone and she hands it over whenever i ask so i dont think she is hiding anything…my husband on the other hand wants to make syre she isnt and we keep fighting about this

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should we put a tracker on our teens phone?

If she hasn’t given you reason to not trust her, don’t treat her that way…otherwise she will start hiding things.

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I don’t see the problem here. She hasn’t demonstrated that a tracker is needed.

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Bark is an excellent program because it alerts you to key threats and not all of her privacy.

It would be different if she gave you a reason to be concerned and searched her phone but you’re saying she’s a good kid and she gives you a phone when you asked then why I track her down that’s an invasion of privacy

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I have life 360 on both my teens phones

I would. Always better to he safe than sorry. Why wait until something bad happens when you could possible help or stop the situation from happening at all.

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You have to trust that you raised her right and that you trust her. Also if you do this and she finds out it will be bad.

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Only to keep her safe as in traveling or on her person if she doesn’t show up when she suppose to as in safety reasons… hiking, bars, ect

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Teenagers are going to do teenager things. The tighter the constraints you put on them the more they are going to fight to rebel and do crazier things. If you’ve taught her to think things through and make smart choices it will mitigate the degree to which she does what she is going to do regardless.

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life 360. Or they have apps that lets you see exactly what sites they are using and conversations??

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My parents used life 360 on my phone and I’ll use it for my kids once they’re old enough. But life 360 is ONLY a location tracker. Is he talking about installing Spyware on her phone so yall see texts and emails and stuff even if deleted?

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We just make it known that if we ask, she hands it over no question. But we’ve not had a reason to ask. She knows right from wrong and has all the freedom to be herself and learn as long she’s responsible about it.

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Of course you should 100%

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It’s always good to check their phones once in a while tho lol build that “what if mom”

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360, so that if they are in trouble or abducted you know where they are/were. Do it for the whole family.

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Get kidslox. It’s a parental control app and also tracker.

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Also, Birth Control.

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Nope…
It could then work in the opposite way…
Leave it be… if you have her password and she hands her phone over whenever you ask… then she isnt doing anything to warrant more…
My daughter now 17… is the same… she has snapmaps on so I can see where she is when she goes out with friends. So I know she is safe…
We have a very open relationship and trust is the most important thing

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To be honest that would be a huge breach of privacy and if I were here I would never trust either of you again if you did it. If she willingly hands over her phone whenever you ask with no hesitation then I would trust her. If she gave you a reason to not trust her then I could understand but as far as your saying there has been no reason aside from “his younger brother started doing things at that age” but every child is different and I know plenty of people who were good kids at that age and plenty who weren’t. If you want a reason for her to start hiding things then do it :woman_shrugging:t2:

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If she’s not given you a reason to not trust her, why? Because other people have made bad decisions at her age? Well, I’ve gotta say, I know plenty of adults who have made God awful decisions, perhaps your husband’s phone should also be tracked.

She can literally send you her location if you ask. There’s absolutely no need to invade her (right to) privacy because dad is weird.

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Hard as it is, I believe you have to show some trust in her. What is the case with the parents of her friends?

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What app are you using to spy?

Teenagers are like a bar of soap… Hold on too tight and they’ll slip right through your hands.

If your Husband doubts y’alls Parenting skills that much… then that’s his issue. And to judge her based on older brothers behavior is completely unfair.

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NO DO NOT she will not trust you ever again

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At 16 they are very close to adulthood. I have seen so many parents become abusive, intrusive and controlling with these apps. You are teaching your kids the boundaries your kids will need to keep with you when they are on their own.

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My parents have the att family map on our phones. They pay extra so it couldn’t be turned off.

I’m very thankful she did it.
I always knew if anything happened I could send her a 911 text and she’d know where I was.
The sketchy plays I went, I always knew my momma had my back.

Plus she was the go to DD for my friends and I.

I also ran cross country so she had it incase I had an asthma attack or got nabbed while running

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I use life 360 on my kids phones. My oldest son pays his own phone bill so I feel like I don’t have the right to ask to put those kinds of things on his phone only thing I ask is for him to leave life 360 on and his location on

Download life 360 at least you will know we’re she is at all times …

My daughter is older now and after she told me everything she use to do and I didn’t know cause I believed she was sweet and innocent and she would hand me her phone … Truthfully , now days you don’t know what your kid is doing . You can spy are you can give her freedom and trust her . Whatever you do , download life 360 are make sure there is a GPS location on her phone . There is to many sick pedophiles and sex traffickers awaiting for some one like her . At least you would know we’re she was at all times , she would know we’re you was to . Actually that’s freedom and safety for all to know your kids are we’re there suppose to be and safe . Cause as long as they have there phone and something happens you have there location , you never know in this ugly evil world …

Everybody talking about right to privacy. If you’re in public you have no right to privacy nor should a child expect it. 16 is still a under age child

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Trust works both ways, to want to moniter her every move is very controling. Kids live up or down to.your expectations.

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We don’t do it for content, but we do for their whereabouts. Life360 app!!

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We have older teens we should have done this with and now our youngest daughter does have one. Definitely worth it. You can literally see everything they do

Life360… it’s on my sons phone. It will remain there as long as he’s under my roof and I’m paying his phone bill. This only shares his location with me and if he’s safe. I don’t see his texts or anything.

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Me and my daughter have life 360. It’s not always about tracking. If something happens i have a way to find her if there’s an emergency. This is also how I found out her friends mother was driving 100 mph with my daughter in the car.

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I absolutely insist on it, for more than one reason—if you remove the tracker, you lose the phone and your freedom. Sorry not sorry-parents locate their abducted kids this way… trafficking is real. If she has something to hide, you’ll find it. If she doesn’t and someone abducts her, you’ll find her. I myself allow two family members to track me— in case something happens, and I have nothing to hide

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Strict parents create sneaky children. If she is handing over her phone without hesitation that says a lot for me, I think if she was up to no good or hiding something she definitely wouldn’t be handing over her phone and passcode that easy. If you are invading her privacy she will feel distant and may not come to you if she needs help.

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We use Life360 and told our kids if they turn it off we will disconnect their phones. Never had a
Problem!

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Helicopter mom much smh! Gotta give trust to ur kids

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No spying just my.mom going through my phone without talking to me ruined a trust foundation. Now tracking for like location yes this world is crazy u believe life 360 and stuff are great tools

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We use life360 me and my 2 17 yrs daughters have it. Its good for both

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If she REALLY wants to do something online that she’s afraid you’ll find… she’ll just use a friends phone.

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Maybe your husband should trust your daughter?

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A tracker is only tracking her. It’s not saying what she’s doing. If she ever got lost or snatched,God forbid at least you’d know, where to find her.

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And it’s not always that your daughter is doing the bad things but she has a sixteen-year-old brain which means she’s not developed and easily Falls prey to more sophisticated people. And you should absolutely protect her from bad decisions of herself or others

Absolutely have her location on your phone or turn hers OFF.

No reason you shouldn’t know where she is ALWAYS

It doesn’t mean you go there. But it means you can breath

%**#~€£ on calling anyone a helicopter mom. Pffft.

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I definitely would! Nowadays parents cannot be too careful. A much better option, don’t give teens phones to begin with. :woman_shrugging:

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You will be creating your own problem .

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I also would definitely do this, whether she is a good kid or not

I say go with life 360 as others have suggested. My mom has it on my younger siblings phones, it’s more to know where they are than be nosy. It’s important to know they’re safe.

For me it was more about safety and making sure they were where they said they were. We used life 360 till they each turned 18 and were allowed to turn it off if they wanted.

Nah. Stand up for your daughters right to privacy.

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As tempting as it might be, no. If she’s not doing anything to cause mistrust, this would only undermine your relationship with her when she finds it on her phone. And kids today are pretty tech savvy. Don’t underestimate her. If she’s hanging with the wrong crowd and doing things she would like you not to know, you won’t know. She will find a way to disable or remove the app and you will have accomplished nothing positive.

Life360 is excellent my daughter is 11 and we use it to track her for her safety

Y’all are wrong and creepy

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She’s. Trying to. Give. The. Benifit. Of. The. Doubt. It’s the dad who’s. Not sure

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I would have her location on in case of emergency. But even 13-14 yr olds I know throw fits about handing over their phone and password. So she is doing great already! He needs to trust her more. Just because his brother acted out doesn’t mean anything for her…

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Link your Google accounts and you can see their location through Google. If they loses his phone, you can locate it as well as long as his location is on. If not, be open and have communication and trust with them and they will tell you everything. See what works for your Family. Good luck.

I think everyone in the family should have Life360. If ,God forbid, someone gets kidnapped, it could help find them.

Never tracked my teens. They never gave me a reason to. I also respect their privacy as they respect mine.

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Sorry your child gets privacy when they are an adult. Your husband is right and you are wrong

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When my son got around this age I told him we were going to put a tracker on both our phones so we downloaded it together the first was very invasive like you could spy in on back and front camera we both erased it and found one we agreed on in case he or even phone went missing

Your here to be her parent - not her friend - I would track her for her own safety - and don’t tell her your doing it - parent her :+1::heart::+1:

I would do GPS tracker but not anything that invades their privacy

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Yeah life 360 only so you know where she is if it ever happens that you need to know, other than that I wouldn’t spy, we were all teens once, let her enjoy her teenage years… I mean if she’s acting up take her phone away. But nah don’t do that. Keep teaching her to be the good person and do the right things…

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Ask her what she thinks and if she wants you to do it it a trust thing

Life 360 for the entire family!!

I would just say, turn on your location so I can see you for your safety. Does she have snap chat? My 18yo leaves her map on for me so I can see her. But I don’t think you should have access to anything private that’s on her phone. She is 16 not 10. So now she’s older she will probably have some things on their that you may find innapropriate but that’s what conversations and guidance is for. If you are too hard you will push her away and she will become sneaky.

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It has nothing to do with trusting my daughter. It has everything to do with knowing where she is if I can’t find her.

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Watch her disown you if you do that.

I’m tracking my kids until the day I die.

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You could do the “find my iPhone” or similar and let her know that it’s just for her safety. Be open about it. Don’t keep it from her and let her know that you do trust her, but if ANYTHING were to happen to her, it’s a safety net.

Yes! And I’ll tell you why my daughter who is 15 I thought I could trust her and she was a good kid. Well one day I decided to go through her phone caught her deleting a bunch of text from numbers I didn’t recognize. Come to find out she was being sexually active, talking to men that was 18 to 26, smoking pot and drinking this lead into her running away from her father’s continuously i found this out all through text. And everytime she ran I told the police to take her butt. Long story short she’s been on lock down since November lost all social media and phones locked for only trusted contacts and she’s amazing now. I have full access to her phone and she’s slowly gaining trust back and getting her privacy back. Though I’m all for privacy with my 6 teenagers but that comes with responsibility and even the best kid can fall I to the wrong groups at any given time. So I tell my teens you want privacy you earn it. Maturity hits every kid at different times and you can’t be there to help them make good decisions the very least you can do is make sure your teen is safe! I’m baffled by how many people are actually saying no like they wasn’t a teenager that made questionable decisions :thinking:. I must be harder on my kids. I would just simply tell her we are going to do life 360 you can see where we are we can see where you are.

If she’s a good kid and hasn’t given any reason to track and hands the phone over without any issues why break that trust? All you’ll be doing is causing her to shut you guys out completely…and that right there causes issues…

Absolutely…its your job as parents to keep them safe ,and believe me even the good kids get into some crazy stuff

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No I definitely would not especially if she hands it over whenever you ask. And 16, she is of an age that she should be fine without being spied on. I think with her age she should be expected to be open with you about things but your husband sounds a bit possessive. I would let her have her privacy and tell him to back off you have it under control.

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You guys aren’t already?? Yeah that’s crazy you definitely should already have atleast a tracker on her phone so you know where she is at all times

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I have on all my teens phones. In the era of the internet/apps and everything you can’t be too cautious 🤷

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Life 360 is the best !! Especially at her age . She needs help and shakes her phone like someone following her it will alert you guys . If she’s in a wreck it will pin point her location and alert police and ems . Oh btw she’s 16 no such thing as privacy until she’s on her own .

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See her location? That’s not an invasion of privacy. You have every right to know where your daughter is at all times.

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Yup. Life360. I’ve had it on my daughters phone for over 3 years. She’s never cared because she doesn’t do shady sh!t. Should I mention she is 18 now? It helps us with planning. She tracks me as much as I track her. Lol

It’s a safety thing. Have everybody download Life 360 so dad can check in when needed. If she’s a good kid and you already have her password, anything else is over kill

Lol… privacy comes with being able to pay your own bills. Till you do that, you have none. As my grandpa said - be grateful you have a bedroom with a door on it. I grew up old school… to each their own. You don’t know what the hell your kids are doing unless you look. All these kids getting mad their parents whatever. In a few years when they grow the hell up they’ll understand you were doing what’s best for them. It’s your job to be their parent not their best friend.

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Our kids didn’t have phones until they were 16 and driving. We didn’t do any sort of tracking with them. But we did have the rule that we have their sign in or code to turn on, and if we asked for it, they handed it right over. We never did either, we never felt like we had a reason to. We’d discussed internet and phone safety often, at supper they put their phones on the charger and it was family time. Bedtime the phones went on the kitchen counter charger. We felt like we had given them the the information needed to be safe, we kept an open dialogue and made sure they knew they could talk to us about anything without being lectured or hounded.

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Yes…Yes
…Yes these days it’s not them

Too many young women end up in shady shit due to social media, I’d definitely be watching.

She is honest now, but if she finds out she is being ‘tracked’, she may start shutting off completely :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Tracking to know where she’s at is different than seeing what she’s doing on her phone. I know where my kids are at, but I also give them their space…and I’ll do that until they show me that I need to know more. At that age, she needs to have her privacy. I think that’s a huge issue that society in general has to deal with, so you and I aren’t alone in this. Kids are given more opportunities to “act out” and stretch their comfort zones online. But like I said, I guess I feel that if she hasn’t given you any other reason outside of needing to know where she’s at, I would allow her to keep her privacy.

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Too much going on out there. As a Parent. Yes. For her protection.

What exactly is he afraid of? IMO don’t put anything on her phone unless she does something to deserve it.

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Until she’s an adult paying her cell bill you have every right & if something happened to her you could find her. Also there are apps that appear like a calculator to hide stuff one of many so better to be careful then not

My husband, myself, and all four of my daughters are on Life 360. They are all adults but young adults and this is a decision we all made together. I don’t spy on them :rofl: they actually spy on me and their Dad more than we look at their location. But in today’s world a young woman can’t be too careful.

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Yes put a tracker on it she is young and if anything would happen to her this can be very handy to locate her …highly recommend it …

Man with the day and age we live in and the way this world is filmed I think it’s best to have a tracker on your child’s family my kids used to be on all types of things and I did not know it because they would delete the things they were doing plus it’s a safety net if your daughter goes out with somebody and something happens you know where to find her if she gets in an accident you know where to find her if somebody kidnaps her her phone’s going to tell you where whereabouts they are anyway you can save your kids is the best thing for them.

Mmguardian is a great app for kids phones. You can see location,texts,calls and you can shut it down remotely.

I think I would want to er on the side of safety pray you never need it but if you did it would be in place otherwise you would be wishing you had

My mom tracked me down and all I did was start turning off my phone completely :woman_shrugging: and it literally drove my mom insane and made her exhausted.

Unless my kids give me a reason, I try to respect their privacy! Once they have not then I would dig!

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My husband and I have trackers on our phones. And we’re in our late twenties. I have since I was a teenager. It’s a safety issue and peace of mind. I wanted it for my mom. :woman_shrugging:t2: if you explain it to her that it’s a tool you can use to help her be independent but also safe, she’ll be way more understanding than if she finds it.