I work on the road, and leave my one year old son with my mother at home. I come home every few months for a month or so. I feel like I’m doing a bad job as a dad, am i?
Ur letting ur mom raise ur kid…get a local job…
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My dad was a single dad and worked away a lot. As long as your son is in a safe and loving environment he will be fine.
One thing I would recommend is making the time your with your son meaningful and quality. Though my sister has fond memories of our dad taking her to the movies and sleeping through the entire thing.
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As long as you’re spending time with your son and taking care of him when your home and while away that’s all that matters. You’re doing what you need to do to PROVIDE for your child. Don’t let no one make you feel bad about what you need to do as a parent to support your son. Your doing great.
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Growing up my dad was gone for sometimes months at a time through the union. Now as a grown woman of 23, all I can think when I look back is how proud I am to have a dad that went to such great lengths to take care of me and it makes the memories seem even that much more precious, I lost my dad when I was 20 and I feel him being away was him being a wonderful dad. Don’t beat yourself up
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The fact that you worry about the time away shows you have your child’s best interests at heart, and at the end if the day, you really do have to do, what you need to do for your child, no matter what it may be. If your child is happy, healthy and loved whilst you are gone, that’s what matters most. But if the day comes when he starts asking you to be present more, please try to listen and make that happen. Your little one will always remember who was there, if you can’t spend as much time as you’d like with him, make that time you do get memorable for you both. My sons dad works away and what he remembers and treasures most is the experiences they have together when they see each other, not what dad buys or sends home for him.
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Its hard being away from your child. As he grows youll miss so much of his life …but needs must.
If you can’t change your job you must spend quality time with your son when you are home…so he knows who you are and that you love him.
He’ll recognise you on zoom even now and if you can do that regularly and continue it as he gets older all the better
No…I dont think you’re a bad Dad. I think you’re doing what you can to make sure your son is well cared for and has a good future
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No you’re not doing a bad job at all. Sometimes you cant get a local job that supports your family so be gone sometimes for work isn’t bad. Some military personal is gone longer. Keep up the good work.
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The fact your worried if your a good dad, means you are a good dad. You have to do what you have to do provide for your family!
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You’re doing the best you can. You’re providing for him. At least you have your mom to help. Look for something local where your home at night if you feel your missing out.
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Your doing what you can as a parent to provide for your son. My father worked away a lot growing up, it’s what he had to do. (many parents in the area I live in work remote jobs ) As long as your child is cared for and safe while your away do not feel bad.
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The fact that you even ask this question shows that you’re a great father.
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You don’t even have to do anything spectacular when you’re with your son. Just be present, attentive and listen. Help your mom and do things with your son alone and as a family. People in the military have to leave their families all the time and somehow make it work. At least you have a whole month to spend with him (or do you work locally during that month too?). I’m assuming your son’s mom is not in the picture?
Some of the sweetest memories are made doing ordinary things. For example, I remember just sitting on my Dad’s lap in the “Daddy chair,” being with both my parents watching variety shows on TV, being read to, and having dinner in the kitchen together. I remember running my bubble mower in a side yard while he mowed the grass, and breaking up small branches when he pruned the trees and bushes. I remember him setting up the kiddie pool for me, and how I’d wake him from his nap when dinner was ready, and his endless patience and understanding, and big hugs, “wrestling” with him on the carpet, him carrying me to bed after I fell asleep in the car, and going over my homework so thoroughly I kind of resented it. I remember his teaching me to ride a bike and later drive a car, and eventually how delighted he was to spend time with the grandchildren, even after he had dementia and wasn’t sure who they were. When my daughter was in a rather dark high school musical (“Chess”) and she was singing right in front of us, he said loudly, “That’s one of ours, isn’t it?” It’s a miracle the whole troupe didn’t crack up, and they all decided he was a great grandpa after that. I miss him a lot. He’s been gone 6 years now.
Keep in touch by various means: phone, Face Time, Zoom, pictures and videos of places you’re at (even roadways, signs, buildings and the interior of diners are fascinating to a 1-year-old). Text, email or mail notes for your mom to read to him. Sometimes having a physical card, postcard or note he can physically hold and ask to read it again and again is nice to have. Send or bring little presents from the road—not a bunch of stuffed toys, but maybe a shell, a pressed flower (buy some wax paper & borrow an iron, or press it in a book), a pretty rock, some non-perishable food, postcards, or something evocative of the places you go. Give your mom a map of the U.S. or the parts where you drive and mark your route and where you stop every day. Let him sleep with one of your unwashed shirts so you stay familiar to him while you’re away.
And thank your mom a lot. She has a big job too.
When he’s older, stay on top of his schooling. It should be easier with so much available online.
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My granddad worked 14 hours a day for UPS and was only home at night to sleep. Got up at 2 every morning and went to work. He retired at 50. I’m sure it sucked for my dad and my uncle. I’m sure it sucked for my grandmother, but billed were always paid and he built a wonderful life for them. Now he spends all of his time with his family. You have to do what works for YOUR family. My dad was a single dad from the time I was 5 and my sister was 2. He worked 2 jobs for quite a while when we were younger. Spend as much time as you can with your son when you’re home!
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As long as your child is happy and looked after and your spending lots of time with him when your home. But I would look for a more local job if that is an option. What does your child think about you working away all the time?
Call- read- play games when you call.
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You are being a fabulous dad. Its hard being on the road. My husband worked on the road a LOT. Paid everything off, set us up and when our daughter came along we stopped the road. (Not everyone can). If your child is healthy and doing well. You just keep doing you.
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If you were a mom you would’ve lost custody. Do you have custody because the mom is unfit or dead? Otherwise youre mom shouldn’t be raising this child. You should let the mother raise her child. You’re forcing your mom to raise your baby so you can work at a job that allows you to escape responsibility & get back at your ex by keeping your child from her.
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Are you a bad dad? No? Are you a good dad? Also no. Having kids means being there. There are things/jobs we can no longer do because we have to be around for our children consistently and care for their daily needs. It sounds like you need a new job. One that allows you to be there to raise your son, because right now your mom is and you’re just visiting.
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It’s hard he is one, when you come home for a month your a stranger because of the gap of time a few months to a one year old is a lot of his life. When you leave he will miss you again because he has just gotten used to you being around.
Not trying to be mean, I’m just stating the facts of what it would be for him. I understand that sometimes you can’t get work local, that makes it hard but I would keep trying to find something that at least has you home more regularly, with less gaps of time in the middle!
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I wouldn’t say you are a bad father at all. You are trying and the fact that you are asking, says your not. I’d say Maybe try and find a truck job where you can be home nightly if it’s important to you.
I also think technology closes that gap. Call your child, zoom/FaceTime. It could be fun to have little games you play over the phone. Video games can be a great bonding experience (when he gets older. They even have cute little games for tots.)
Maybe bring a small gift home that’s unique to show them you thought of them. Or a regional desert.
I think the other key is to make time at home with them important and valuable, just be present. Do fun cheap things, the little things matter too.
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The fact that you even ask that question means that you’re doing just fine 
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The fact that you have your son if enough to say you are a great dad.
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Try looking for a local driving job so that you’re home more. Kids grow up fast.
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I was in school and working 2 jobs years ago and I cannot tell you how many times I would have to go to the bathroom and cry after he would call me from my moms phone to tell me goodnight. I felt so guilty & I still carry that guilt with me but he is older now and he understands and we have an unbelievable bound. Sometimes as parents we have to do what we have to do if it is what is best for our children. I just made sure that every second I had with him that I made it special and made sure he knew how much I loved him and no matter what. You are NOT a bad parent
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How could anyone say either way with this much information. Wow your away half the year for work that has absolutely not one thing to do with your parenting skills and your treatment towards your child, which are the things that that matter.
Does simply being away a lot mean anything? no it just means your a busy dude, doesn’t mean your a good or bad father. If you wanted to assess that then you would actually need information beyond your work schedule.
Omg if this was a mom with the exact same situation, everyone would rally and say she’s doing her best and that’s amazing. So because it’s a dad he’s getting the polar opposite. 
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He will thank you someday for providing for him 
Every few months? As a single dad?
So basically Grandma is his mom & dad?
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Your worried about being a bad dad… That proves you are not a bad dad! You’ll figure it out eventually. A year isn’t that long, your both still new at being a dad and being a kid… you’ll get it down eventually!
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Sounds like your trying to set you and your son up for a good life… when you come home make sure you spend quality time with your boy 
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I’m sorry this isn’t to be rude but other than financially supporting your son how are you even a dad? Seems like grandma is doing the raising. Find something where you can be gone at least in the evening
My dad was never there and it was hard for myself and my brother. He drove a big truck.
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I had to raise my kids like this too we are still really close tho. Some parents have to work alot to provide for them. I would spend all my extra time away from wk with them
I wouldn’t say you’re a bad dad but your child has two absent parents definitely. What is the story with mom?
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Its not bad but its not good either… you need to be there to raise your child. Right now your leaving it up to someone else to do. Maybe see if there is any other jobs where you can be at home every evening. Its all about sacrifice when your a parent.
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You are away to work & provide for your son….sounds like he is in good hands with his Grandmother.
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You are doing what u have to at this point and providing for him and all we can do is what we consider our best and if u feel that it’s the best for ur situation that’s what matters good job!!!
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My dad was a truck driver & was gone a lot. I’m not going to lie, it was hard while I was younger, but as an adult I’m thankful. My husband works oilfield now & is gone anywhere from 2-3 weeks at a time. Being away from your child is hard, it’s emotional, & you will constantly question if it’s the best thing. But you are doing what you have to do to provide for your child & that’s the best they could ever ask for!
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This is not parenting. 🤷 Parents are responsible for caring for a child daily. Your Mom is the parent. Now, this may be the best you believe you can do right now, but I would never leave my child for this long. Childhood is a short time. This one won’t have memories of you as raising them. I’d reconsider being gone so much. It’s not “bad” parenting, it is not parenting.
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I was a single mother when my youngest daughter was 18 months and my oldest was 11yrs old. I worked away for 6-8weeks at a time and then came home for a month, this went on for over 3yrs. They were raised by the live in nanny I hired while I was at work, but once I was home it went right back to normal… my girls are quite grown now from this time, (10yrs and 19yrs now) and they have never mentioned once that me being away working so much affected them in any way, they seen that I had to do it to provide for them, and that was the way I did it! As long as he is in a loving, nurturing home while you are away there shouldn’t be any problems! You do what you need to do to raise your son to be a man like you!
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You sound like a good father just one that just has to work. How does your son react when you get home? He’s still little so he probably doesn’t think much about it other than missing you. The fact that you’re worried about it tells me you’re a decent father.
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You’re not a bad dad.
A bad dad wouldn’t be asking this question.
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If you drive, you might want to find a day driving job where you’re home every night. You’re mom is parenting right now. Even co-parents see their kids every other weekend.
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Imo yes you are. Money isnt the most important thing. Your child needs you to raise him not his grandma. He already has an absent mother.
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You are providing for him. My fiancée works out of town. I’m home with the kids. They miss him but they know he loves them. You are doing a good job.
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Your out providing for your kids, that’s definitely not being a bad dad, just when your home and get to spend time with them, make it special and memorable so they know how much you care 
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No, you are not a bad dad.
You are busting your ass for your child. They are safe while you are out working. It’s not like you are out partying or choosing to stay away.
The fact that you’re concerned speaks volumes. If I were you, I’d look into other career opportunities that puts you at home with your son.
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No. You are providing for your child. Sounds like he is with people who love him and can be with him while you provide for him financially. I am sure you spend quality time with him while your on days off. We all have parent guilt for different reasons!!
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You should find something closer to home seeing your son every few months isn’t great for none of you your mom, son, yourself. That’s basically your mom’s son
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Not good. YOU need to raise your child, not your mom.
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Oh that sucks but you have to do what you have to do. If it works for your family, then keep on keeping on! With video chat and such these days, it can make it a little easier. Good luck to you and your family
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You have to work and you are taking care of your family by working I been a single dad and it hard and a lot people don’t understand what you need to do because the state won’t help a man like they do a woman it not being a bad dad it called taking care of your family
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A lot of people big mad about this… and yet, if it was his wife at home taking care of the kids ya’ll wouldn’t be coming at him like this. The real question is, is he financially supporting his child? Or is he just blowing money and leaving it all up to his mother to deal with? Is he fully involved with his child when he’s home? Does he call or video chat regularly? If he tries to stay involved and fully financially supports his child, he’s trying. Would that kind of work be my first choice as a parent? No. Would I want a spouse with that kind of schedule? Also no. But plenty of folks do it and it works for them. Whether it’s military or oil rigging or truck driving.
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You aren’t a bad father. You are putting your best foot forward and trying to do what you think is right. That’s awesome. But, a child needs consistency to feel safe. Right now that’s your mother. If it’s bothering you I’d look for a day driving job. I would hate to miss out on all the beautiful firsts that are coming. When I lost my mom I lost the only person who could tell me about my younger years. I have no idea about my medical history, how old I was when I started walking, what my first word was, how I reacted for my first day or kindergarten. My father, step father, aunts, uncle’s, grandparents don’t know because they weren’t there. That kind of stuff is important for a child. It’s much much harder to get close to a child if the time wasn’t put in by you from the start.
You are the only one providing for your little. You do what you can even if it means you can’t be there. He knows you’re trying and working hard.
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You’re not a bad father but you’re probably going to have regrets later for missing out on being there more. As a single parent earlier in my 20s I worked 12-16-18 hour days 6-7 days a week to pay bills. Unfortunately my daughter was with a babysitter most of that time. I still saw her everyday but I definitely regret not being there more. She’s 17 now and we have a strained relationship because of separation anxiety issues. Do what you have no choice doing in the moment, but my advice is find something closer and see your child everyday if you can. I’m a stay at home mom now but that’s because my husband does everything he can to make sure we’re financially okay. That experience taught me money is not everything.
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You’re doing the best you possibly can at this current time with what has been placed in your path.
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As a child whose single parent was not around because of work I can tell you I felt like my mom didn’t want me. It did hurt and I had a hard time when I was younger. Now that I am an adult it makes sense to me why she had to do it and I do realize that it was what she needed to do
Are you checking in daily? Are you providing for your child are you engaged when you are home. Just because the job you have to provide for your kid doesn’t always allow you to be home doesn’t mean your a bad parent.
Some of you be coming at this man. If he was in the service and single but deployed with his kid at his moms would you be coming at him. We have to many men/woman out there not providing, not caring. I think it’s perspective. Being a parent is hard, providing is hard. We have full time stay at home parents that are BAD parents. Think that through.
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Honestly you should be with him more . There’s plenty of money out there to be made and different positions . But being a parent , we only get one shot at this . You have no real time to bond with your child .
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I do not believe you are a bad dad but I would try to find a different job if I were in this position. Nothing matters more to the child then you being there for them. if they only see you every few months you are missing out on so many things in their life…
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You’re not a bad dad. I’m the same with my oldest I only get to physically a few times a year but I video chat with him so we can talk. It’s hard but his dad lives 200 miles away from me.
Your supporting your kid and that should say something. I mean if u have the opportunity I would find something where your at least home every week or on weekends. But if not at least your supporting your child. Maybe when he gets old enough you can take him with you on summer breaks or something.
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Definitely not a bad dad. If it is in your gut that you’re not with him enough. Probably time to reassess which is hurting the most. Your choice of employment… or missing time with your son. He’s lucky to have his grandma in his life. Providing for the family is also admirable… Time missed can never be replaced. So many thoughts to come to terms with.
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No you aren’t
You doing what you must
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Can you work with the same company with a behind the scenes job like paper work or managing money?
As much as it hurts to be away from your child I’m sure, you are doing what you need to to provide for your child. The fact that you are questioning if you’re doing a good job means you are and that you care and live your child deeply.
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My dad’s a trucker and was while I was young. He was long haul back then but managed to find something more local before my mom passed. He was the bread winner plain and simple. My mom was too sick. I don’t hold it against him. If it’s possible to get something more local then do it. But right now your little one is young enough to not remember these long absences.
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Being a single parent for many years I completely understand your question and my response to your question is this “ not caring and not doing the best that you know how would make you a bad dad.”.The fact that you care tells me you are a wonderful parent.
You are doing what you can to survive. You’re making money for your little and yourself. I applaud you. But I do feel you’ll regret later on in life that you missed your little ones time and their achievements in life. But I understand that you gotta do what you gotta do.
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Atleast call daily of ur the only parent on said child life other then that good job buddy for working to support ur child where ever who Evers helping u raise them make sure u praise them and ur good brotha
No way dad, you are doing what you can with what you have… baby will understand. Please use your time wisely when you are there. Get to know your child as a person. Find thing he or she seems to take early interest in like the park or a certain toy and play with him it will help y’all relationship. No such thing as a spoiled kid you can never give too much love and attention they need it sooo much. Hugs kisses and cuddles.
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I deeply regret working two jobs, I lost a huge part of my kids lives, necessary at the time, but looking back, I could have been on welfare
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You are doing what you need to do to provide for your child. I grew up with my dad never being home because he travels for work (he worked road contruction). My dad said his biggest regret was missing out on my life growing up. I know money is important to take care of your child and yourself, but maybe try finding something more local like others have suggested.
You are working hard to provide for your child. Sometimes sacrifices will have to be made. There were times my husband left to work at 5 AM and didn’t come home until 1 AM to do it again the next day.
The only thing I would suggest is to FaceTime your child every night before bed and in the morning…
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If a single mom was doing the same thing we would be called a horrible mom and a deadbeat mom
You’re not a bad dad. Try your best though to get to be at home at least once a month. Sometimes your presence is better than presents but you have to do what you have to do. You will miss these milestones. When he’s older being gone a lot would be easier because he will have friends and you’ll be begging him to spend time with you.
Are your sons needs being met? Warm home, clothes, food etc? Is he loved? Do you call him and talk to him? If you answered yes then I’d say your doing a pretty damn good job! P.S… bad parents don’t wonder if they are bad parents
Are you a truck driver if so get a job that’s at home he need you now
Its not a bad dad, its your taking care of responsibilities. But also keep in mind your babies are only little once. You will only see them grow up one time. Doesn’t mean your a bad dad at all.
Get a job that allows you to be a father to your son. Right now you’re just a benefactor.
Get a new job. Period. You need to be there for your kid, more then financially. Not fair to your mom or your kid. There’s so many other jobs out there