SO is demanding a threesome

My s/o and I have been together 2 years I just had his baby two months ago ..I have two other children from a previous relationship he's good to us most of the time...I couldn't be happier .. but then he gets in these moods where he demands a threesome from me . Saying if I don't have one then we're done or he's leaving with our daughter while I'm at work, or we aren't having sex until I give him a threesome....it's all he will talk about and we argue horribly about it for days until he gets out of his funky mood . He tells me text people he posts it on my story knowing it bothers me .....he tells me how pretty I am but about a month after I had our baby he called me fat ugly and disgusting and it hasn't left my head I'm literally so self cautious n suffering with postpartum depression horribly....im literally so hurt and the postpartum depression doesn't help im just so confused one week he's everything I want / need then the next he's demanding a threesome I know most of you are going to say leave obviously but it's easier said then done ....I need prayers so God can give me the strength to let go of something I know that needs to be let go of ....not just for myself but for my babies ....
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. SO is demanding a threesome - Mamas Uncut

He’s giving you an ultimatum. That’s abusive behavior

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Yeah he need to go.foh

You must be with my ex husband. Just kidding. But seriously. Run.

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He sounds horrible! Actually read this as if it was your best friend telling you about her man. What would you tell her to do?

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Ask him which one of his friends he’s bringing into the bedroom.

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This is not acceptable behavior at all… even if you guys have previously had threesomes before…
I hope you find the strength in yourself that you need to get through this and make a happy life for you and your children

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:pray:t5::pray:t5::pray:t5:
I pray you see & understand your worth. Any man who’s willing to degrade & belittle you, does not love you.

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What he is doing is abuse. Don’t engage. Make a plan. Leave. It’ll help that post partum

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Nah take him out to the curb with the rest of the trash,

Don’t let anyone treat you that way!

Leave. That’s manipulation and abusive behavior.

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He’s giving you an ultimatum. I wouldn’t cave because it’ll be never ending. Trust me.

I’d say PEACE OUT…AIN’T NOBODY DEMANDING ME TO DO THAT AND GIVING ME AN ULTIMATUM.

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I couldn’t imagine. I am so sorry. Some people are into that stuff but you are clearly not and it’s unfair to demand that of you. I hope you find the strength to move on and find peace

Leaving it in God’s hands and praying is not going to help right now. You need to help yourself!

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How disgusting of someone to behave that way and you just had his baby!! You’re only 2 months postpartum too like…he’s insensitive and I hope you see the red flags for what they are are run!!

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This is not a good man, demanding something or threatening to TAKE YOUR CHILD is abusive and honestly, there is no way for that to be okay to me. If you can record these instances to be used, I would, because this is just cruel to do to you. He sounds like a horrible, revolting human being and you dont deserve this behavior.

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Boy, BYYYYYEEEE. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass. :wave:t3:

Also…next step from here is him cheating. It’s so important to have sex with someone else that he’s willing to take your kids if you don’t?! I’m f*ckin appauled. Love yourself!!!

Dude is nuts. As are you for putting up with this shit.

Happiness is never easy. Please get out now

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Hes trying to manipulate you into a sexual act I haven’t heard you say once was what you’d want to do it. You have to be solid when you do these things and you arnt I wouldn’t advise it I’d be done you wouldn’t want someone suggesting that to your daughter would you? Nooo

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My bf done this once and I straight up left his ass, yeah it hurt to do it but he ended up crawling back and hasn’t done it since. The last time he brought it up I told him it can be with another male but no female and that if he wants another female he can have me out of his life :woman_shrugging:t3: ps. We haven’t done a threesome yet :joy: so he wants to give you a ultimatum then be petty and give him one to :joy:

Call his bluff and say sure with another guy :woman_shrugging:t2::face_with_hand_over_mouth::joy:
But seriously he sounds like a douche. My now ex would tell me he was going to get a side chick because I wasn’t putting out enough after our child was born. He never helped with her, I had an emergency c section, she was in nicu for about 3 weeks, she was premie, she woke me up every 2-3 hours for 4 months and he never helped. I wonder why I wasn’t in the mood. Guys are assholes a lot of the time from my experience. One shouldn’t make threats to get sex. A threesome or things like that need to be a mutual decision. He deserves to be alone

He’s a pos and it will only get worse

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post: that’s so messed up. He’s abusive and manipulative… LEAVE. You deserve better.

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You CAN be happier, with ppd you just need to find a way convince yourself and make yourself believe it! Also talk to your obgyn asap if you haven’t already. Once the ppd has passed you’ll be able to fully pull yourself together and know that you CAN be happier and you deserve it.

Ew he sounds like a disgusting human being .guys like that I will never understand , babe just do you , it will always be like this if u either don’t put ur foot down now or leave and find someone better who would only want you and just you

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If he’s giving you an ultimatum to try and force you to do something that you are not wanting to do, that is abuse. If he is threatening to take the baby while you are at work, go to the police and get a lawyer to get full custody. ASAP. I think you have a good chance of getting an restraining order and emergency custody. May sound crazy, but if his mood change that much, I would rather be safe than sorry in case :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

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Agree to the threesome then tell him the name of the GUY you invited to join in.

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He needs therapy and maybe you too. Will he go to relationship counseling?

You spelled divorce wrong.

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Call a local women’s shelter. They’ll be able to help you with a safety plan for you and your children to get out (most will have a place for you/kids immediately), often have free resources for counselling and free legal advice/help.
He’s emotionally abusing you.

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This is a joke. Right

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Quit having babies with losers

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RUN. Take the kids and Fucken run as absolutely fast as possible.

I’ll pray. You deserve so much more than he is offering. A very inconsiderate, and selfish man!

Good grief. This is a toxic relationship and you should never be pressurised into doing anything that you are uncomfortable with. You deserve more my lovely. Stand in your power

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Please leave him. He does not care about your mental stability and that says a lot about him as a partner. If you can’t do it for yourself please do it for your daughter. This horrible behavior coming from him is nothing she should be put through. She should not learn it’s ok for a “man” to treat a woman this way.

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He isn’t wonderful any of the time.

Leave. Leave. Leave.

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Good lord dump him - he’s acting like a spoiled child - I promise if some man told me he was gonna leave with my child while I was gone- it would be the last thing that crossed his mind—- kwim?

Leave that man now :running_woman:

Disrespecting a “no” when it comes to sex is tantamount to rape imho. NEVER do anything you’re uncomfortable with and I hope you find the strength and courage to leave this guy.

You need to work on yourself. Get help with your PPD it’s a serious issue. He also needs to be seen by a doctor bc it sounds like he has some issues.
If you’re into chick’s, give it a go. Not bc he asked/demanded but bc you WANT to. As a bi woman, I’m cool with threesomes where the man would watch me and a woman but he doesn’t touch her and she doesn’t touch him. Maybe that’s something to think about. If he’s not cool with that option, he just wants to fuck someone else with you watching, and that is a huge problem.
My advice - get help with both of your mental health issues, and then go from there. Explore sexually, it’s not a bad thing. Put your boundaries up though, he doesn’t get to demand any thing from you. He especially can’t threaten to take your child if you don’t do what he tells you, that’s abusive and manipulative behavior and it needs to be stopped immediately.
You asked for advice other than leaving, and that’s what I gave. But in all honesty, leaving would be your best bet…

Get rid
Best thing u will ever do for yourself and your children x

He’s cheating already. He’s also abusing you. Run far away hun

Go get a good lawyer

Why are you with such a pos. Leave like yesterday

You need to find your way out. Start planning. This is psychological abuse and with ppd it could be detrimental. I know it’s hard to see it like that not looking from the outside but eventually this will teach the kids that manipulation and abuse is normal & okay.

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Girl get out now. That is not love.

That’s abuse…time to leave!!

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As long as it’s another man

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“He’s good to us most of the time”…… “I couldn’t be happier”

Then everything you said after contradicts that. You already know the answer. And yes Leaving is easier said then done but I promise you as much as it will rip your heart out and ache the mother of all aches the feeling of being free from this emotional exhaustion will be worth it. Take your life back! It will be worth it in the end!

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Have a 3sum but with a guy!! I’d leave him

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Dump that loser . Honey you deserve better . If he can’t be satisfied with just you ,he’s not for you period . You should not have to be on eggshells for him to treat you right . Best thing for you and that baby is to walk away n forget him

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Demanding anything outside of your comfort zone is unacceptable. The threats are not of a person that loves you…

My response would be “awesome… which guy do you suggest we have the threesome with?”

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I only read the first part…why are you still there??? Tell him to kick rocks …

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Anyone see any Red Flags with this lil boy?

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Bring another guy in and let him get all the D he wants :woozy_face::crazy_face::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::joy::speak_no_evil:

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Woman…… that is called love bombing and narcissistic behaviors!
Get the hell out while you can or it will only get worse!!!
I was in this same situation 2 years ago for 2 years!

It got to the point in front of EVERYONE he was my Prince Charming, behind closed doors he was mentally and emotionally abusive.
He probably would have physically been too but he knew my father had just got out of prison for murder. I think that scared him a bit!

You nor your kids deserve that!
I promise you, there’s a genuine MAN out there whom will love you and your children!!!

No man that loves you would want to share you with another person period! Leave!

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Tell him absolutely! Which one of his guy friends is coming over and does he have a sitter already lined up? That’ll shut his dumb ass up

Take that baby and run especially if he already says he gonna do it

Your entire post is a giant :triangular_flag_on_post: lol leave immediately

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:
Let him go…

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If you do one, get a woman who does pegging and won’t touch him.

But really leave him.

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Please leave this man

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I’d tell him sure , call one of your boys up and lets do this … see how quick he changes his tune.

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Demand!!!?!!??? Lol……

You should go get a custody order… Without one he can take your baby and the police won’t be able to do anything.

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Take all your children and leave. This is no way too be treated.

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It is easier said than done however, it CAN be done and SHOULD be done! You would not want ANY of your children to ever be in this same position you are. Show them the way to be treated properly & respected!! You deserve better as do your kids

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Take your child, file for custody and go.

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Say yes to a 3some with another man…and your fella has get done up the arse…he won’t agree…leaving him is the best thing u can do…wish you well and good luck :heart:🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

That’s emotional abuse. Leave

I would respond “only if I can pick the guy”

His jaw would probably drop….Please leave this disgusting loser. You don’t need your daughter to be around this creep, he is degrading women already, and you don’t want your daughter being in a situation with a piece of utter crap like this one day do you?

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Turn around and RUN!!! As fast as you can. And don’t look back!!! Seriously!:flushed: Please!

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Oh my, postpartum depression is rough and his insensitivity to your feelings was tough for me to read. You’re strong and know what’s best for you and your babies.

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What the actual f!! No way ! Leave !It’s easier than you think it is… Or you will regret it in the future! You deserve so much better!!

Ask him why he would want to disappoint two women at the same time? :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I’m gonna go ahead and echo the other’s comments. Take your children and file for custody. Don’t delete any of his texts where he demands a 3sum with the stipulation that if you don’t, he’s leaving with the baby. You agreeing and fulfilling that fantasy of his could ultimately be seen as RAPE by coercion. You’ve been nearly pregnant half your relationship and he can’t even honor what your body just went through to bring HIS baby into this world. This will never stop and he will never change. You are enough.

If he loved u he wouldn’t even think bout asking u that… my opinion hell no …do what u want but I believe u will regret it afterwards

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I would prob use violence on him. Sounds like a narcissistic ahole. Nobody should put up with that crap

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Make a plan, save up, and get the hell away.

Pack your things and your kids. DO NOT LET HIM SEE KIDS TILL AFTER COURT so he can’t keep them from you. Bring proof of his sexual 3 some demands and using his children as threats to get a 3rd involved. Judge will not find his behavior okay. Also…never go back, if he loved you he wouldn’t be giving you this altimatium.

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Or ask him which guy friend y’all are gonna bang together

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He doesn’t get to demand that. If he heard a firm no the first time he shouldn’t even be asking more than once. There’s something called consent.
I had a guy who was mostly very nice, kind and everything but too dumb to grasp the concept of consent and constantly pressuring me to do things in bed I clearly didn’t want to do, ignoring me telling him no, even trying to hoodwink me into it. I ended up deeply resenting him. This guy is trying to emotionally abuse you into giving him his way. The swings between calm and turmoil are part of his strategy, despite how it may seem they do not redeem him. There is no love left between the two of you.

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It’s easier said than done to leave. But trust me when I say it gets better. I was with my ex for 10 years and left shortly after our third child was born. He was sexting with my sister when I caught him. He denies physical touching. But I know there was, as I got told she was pregnant with his child at one point. He told me nobody would ever want me and that I should accept it. Blah blah blah. The only thing ever holding me back was HIS opinion of himself. Because we are an entire preference to real Men. I’d leave because that’s abuse. I’ve been emotionally, physicallya ND verbally abused. Tbe verbal hurt more than the physical. It still effects me 2 years after leaving. But I feel much better. Entirely. Inside and out.

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Run don’t walk!!! He’s perverted.

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Ask him which of his friends he wants to include :joy:

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Well. I’d take a frying pan to him. Next time he starts, pack a bag for him and tell him to go find a couple of women then, and don’t come back.

Easy. Go find a guy willing to join in on a 3some, bring him home to meet your manchild of a SO and tell him if he wants a 3some, this is what he gets. Then leave his sorry self on the curb and spend the rest of your children’s childhoods being an amazing mother and figuring out why you would ever settle for less than you deserve.
The alternative is to stay, give him what he wants and abandon all hope of ever being happy while simultaneously teaching your children that THAT is what a relationship should be.

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Bye bye. What was the question

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Oh my gosh that literally broke my heart reading your post :sob::sob:
Please get out of this relationship he’s abusing you!!!

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Ask him what guy friend he’s thinking of everytime he dose that then he’ll stop :joy::woman_shrugging:

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This guy has no respect for you whatsoever. Furthermore, he is a selfish narcissist that needs therapy.

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No man should treat his woman that way. A true loving man would build her up instead of tear her down. You should never settle for less. Also let him know you want a three some too with one of his guy friends. See if his attitude changes then.

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