Struggling with trust issues

Maybe someone can help me maybe not. I am really struggling with trust issues with my husband. We have been together 11 years and our relationship was incredibly toxic for about the first 4 years or so. I’ve caught him talking to other women multiple times and it was always the same “I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again, I didn’t mean to hurt you”. Well I have also been struggling with weight issues and he’s never liked “big women”. So I don’t get secure feelings or even get compliments. It’s always I’d never cheat on you because I love my job too much or you’re perfect except I should’ve said something a long time ago about your weight gain. So lately, there is a girl he works with that he claims he is just super close with because of the nature of the job they have to be able to trust and those he works with is like family. I TOTALLY get that. But he calls this girl every day on their way to work or a training for about 3 months now. He says it’s just because he see’s her like a sister but with the issues we’ve had in the past it’s really hard to deal with his “closest” friend being a female. Who is 8 years younger than him. Like it’s gotten to the point where I’m constantly checking phone records to see how many times he’s called her. But he will never call her when I’m around. Idk about the texting or not. I really hate being this person because I knew when he went into his career he would be around other women and that part didn’t bother me. It’s dealing with the possibility that his closest “friend” is female. I’m seriously considering seeing a therapist because Idk if it’s just me honestly being crazy and my anxiety just making it worse or if this is really something I should worry about. Divorce isn’t an option as 95% percent of our lives are intertwined; the 5% is probably our jobs. Have any of you guys dealt with a situation like this before? If so, how did you deal with the issue or how did you handle it? I can’t stand the way this is making me feel so I really don’t want to even talk to him about it because I already know how the situation will go…

1 Like

I’ve gone through some situations with my now husband when we were younger that led to trust issues as well, it isn’t easy but you should really talk to him and express how you feel and go into the conversation open minded and tell him your concerns because of his past. You won’t be able to kick this feeling until you both talk about it. :heart: