Stuck in a rut of yelling and overreacting

I have a 5 year old. I'm stuck in a rut of yelling and overreacting. I know I am. I had covid in August and was hospitalized so I was gone for a month. At first I dealt with her clinginess and bad behavior because I knew she had missed me. But her behavior is awful.

Every single day her teacher sends home notes. She goes to half day school and tells her teacher no, runs around, etc. She refuses to obey adults. Not just her teacher. I’m so tired of hearing how bad she is. She doesn’t have friends because she’s mean, bossy, and can’t keep her hands to herself.

It bleeds over at home. I resent her before she’s even in the car because I’m embarrassed of her behavior. Then it sets us up for a crappy rest of the day. And she keeps on with me at home or running errands.

She hasn’t been evaluated psychologically. She has always been very willful and independent but obedient. I don’t know how to turn this around. I sit around and imagine just leaving her with my husband and going to live alone. I hate everything about being a mom right now.