My daughters father and I live in different states. I went to see my lawyer about terminating his rights and he told me I needed to be married and have someone adopt my child before they would allow termination of the fathers rights. My lawyer lives in the same state as he does and I am beyond devastated as I was told this today. He has not been in the picture since 2017 and I get told this.
If this helps, he lives in N.C. and I live in SC. Any lawyers I can reach out to or help me?
Does anyone know any information about terminating parental rights? Or advise?
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Why termanate his rights… what benifits do you gain?
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They don’t want to terminate one parent without a replacement. The only other instance that they would term him without someone to adopt in their place is if he was a major safety concern. Like went to prison for murder or something like that. The reason for that is that if there is no replacement, then that cuts SS benefits in half should something happen to the child’s parents because they would only have one legal parent to claim benefits from, AND there’s no legal right to collect any possible child support. This creates a burden for the government to most likely pick up that slack in government assistance. This is why they are telling you no. I’m in the middle of this myself, but am married.
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I would think abandonment would be a good enough reason for any judge to terminate rights. Each state is different I suppose. Sorry this is happening to you.
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My ex terminated his rights and I wasn’t married. That sounds absurd.
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Why do you want his rights terminated?
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You can NOT terminate his rights! Without being married for A certain amount of time along with proof of how long he has been in your childs life and your ex not in there’s. People think oh dads not around I’m going to terminate the rights well ya can’t. You can file for child support until that happens
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I was told the exact same thing in Alabama by a lawyer. You can’t “bastardize a child” by law here 
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Just file for sole custody. That should solve any problems if any. Abandonment should be the key factor in this.
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They terminate rights if a judge sees a parent isnt suitable…or a case through cps…he can sign his rights away but without his signature you cant get them terminated unless he is found unfit and thats hard to do on several levels…my dad lost his rights to me through dss…he was advised to take medication to help with his depression after spending 3 yrs fighting for us( me and my 2 younger sisters) they took his rights said he wasnt willing to corporate and took his rights…that being said if your rights are taken you are never allowed to gain rights( except through birth). My dad tried to get custody of my nephew when my sister dropped her kids to chase drugs and was denied due to having parental rights taken…but you cant just marry someone and they get rights and the father gets shoved aside…and no one can adopt or be added unless the father themselves have signed papers signing there own rights away…but hopefully he isnt willing to sign his rights away due to you living in different states. But again a judge might see that as abandment but iv also been told i i csnt leave my state( North Carolina) with my kids and leave my kids father…id have to get legal permission to just pack up n take off with his kids…i would be charged…not him…
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Every state is different. That might just be the laws in your state.
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Why terminate his right’s i mean my kid’s hasn’t seen their dad more than 3 times in 10 years but that’s on him and kid’s may resent you for that because they can say you terminated his right’s not him therefore they could lash out at you later in life and blame you for him not being there because of that
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Nothing you can really do until you get married and have a spouse to adopt.
Weird dont have to be married in mi just have to be absent parent for 2 years
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That is definitely the norm for most states. A parent cannot terminate rights unless there is another parent to step up and adopt.
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R U keeping him from child???
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You could go for abandonment. We live in NC as well.
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Depending on the state look into it but if the child is not 18 they can terminate his rights if he agrees to this but he will still need to pay for child support
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In KY if the other parent hasn’t been in the picture for one year or more you can terminate parentral rights even if your not married. You don’t even have to have a boyfriend. However no contact for a year means no text/Facebook message to you, no calls and no letters sent to you or the child
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Look into Child abandonment from the father
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That would be up to him, if hes happy to terminate his rights then he can apply to do that, but you cant just decide he doesnt deserve to have rights to his child, even if he has been out of the picture a long time.
Most states will not bastardize a child
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The info is true in most states, but do some research on the requirements.
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OP Update
Father has been in and out of jail since 2013. From drugs, driving without a license and all that stuff that requires you do be able to drive, and he recently got locked up for assault on a female, first degree kidnapping, violating a 50B, shooting at a car (and she was in his care when this happened)… child support is in place and it hasn’t been paid in over a year. It got paid once because they were able to locate him and serve him after trying to serve him 9 times. Her last name is his and she asks to change her last name to mine and she doesn’t even care to see anyone in his family even when I try to get her to see the people who are worth seeing.
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Some states don’t allow a child to be fatherless in the eyes of the law.
December 2017 was when my husband was able to adopt my son. We had to be married for a year and a letter of intent had to be mailed to his bio father in case he wanted to contest it. Since my sons bio father hadn’t been in his life since he was two months old, I had an RO against him which included my son for domestic violence and sending me texts of pictures of him holding weapons and pointing at the camera and because I did not know where he lived and he was already behind on $18,000 in child support. The judge granted the adoption that day. But when we spoke to a family lawyer they informed us we needed to be married for a year and the bio father needed to consent to the adoption for rights to be terminated. We we’re also told that in order to file abandonment charges that there had to have been no contact at all with the bio father for a certain amount of time up to a year, and that we would need to place in add in the paper for a certain amount of time to try and establish contact. If no contact could be made during that period then they would take into consideration abandonment.
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Yeah, you can’t make a child a bastard.
That’s completely normal. No attorney can help you. It doesn’t matter how bad or uninvolved he may be. That’s the law. You can get sole legal and physical but you can’t terminate because no judge will “bastardize” a child
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If you don’t have a partner wanting to adopt her as his own and the bio father isn’t trying to have anything w her as it is, why even worry with lawyers and terminating his rights?
Other than If something happened to u in which they would need to reach out to the other parent,
Is there a reason you want to terminate rights? Or are you just being selfish?
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Get a lawyer in your state N.C. doesn’t listen to other state laws and if he hasn’t seen them in 2 years leave it alone
I was told KY wont terminate rights unless an adoption is taking place as well. However, I hired a lawyer willing to fight it with me and I suceeded. My ex however did a lot more than just quit seeing my kid for 2yrs. He also got $11,000 behind in child support and accumulated a 13 pg long criminal record, and is currently facing 10 counts of Wanton Endangerment 1st Degree for OD’ing on heroin/fentanyl which caused the responding EMS workers to get sick and required Narcan for themselves and this resulted in his other child being taken by CPS because the child (not even 2yr old yet) was in his apartment when this happened. It also made the news all over KY when it happened, because of his incident the county he lives in is now requiring all EMS workers to carry Narcan for their own personal use for responding to OD’s where they could be exposed.
It is a very costly and time consuming process. This must take place in the homestate if there has been any sort of custody already arranged, or if nothing has been filed then you file in the state youre considered a legal resident of (lived in more than 6 months). I was required to not only pay for my lawyer, but because I made more money than him I was court ordered to pay an attorney for him as well, AND a GAL lawyer for my child. It costed me around $3,500 plus filing fees and court costs, and having to pay the sheriff to have ex served a subpeona. It took me over a year in court with multiple status hearings.
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Thats a load of shit. You can have his rights terminated if you can prove hes unfit. If he doesnt respond and doesnt show up to court after 3 months they automatically terminate them. Im in nc
What state do you live in? In Indiana the spouse has to adopt the child for the absent parent to be able to give up his rights and the absent parent has not tried to contact the child or help financially in 6 months or more
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U have to have someone adopt even if he’s not in the picture…the state wint basterize a child so to speak. I’m so sorry!!!
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If he lives in a different state and never sees his kids, why terminate his rights? Doesn’t sound like he’s using them.
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Is he actively paying child support? Is he offered any type of time with his child? Is he being alienated? You don’t have the right to just up and sign HIS rights away from his own flesh and blood.
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That not true i know for a fact i just adopted my nephew the bio father was not around for 2 years and his rights got terminated find a different lawyer
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What a shame everything boils down to his rights. Someone who out of spite says it will be over his dead body before he lets her have custody but makes no effort to see her, doesn’t pay a dime of child support but can have friends and family bail him out of jail constantly when he is in and out of jail for assault, drugs, kidnapping, shooting at a vehicle when she was last in his care a few years back. Of course the state doesn’t want to bastardize a child, but allows it to be totally okay for this poor child’s “flesh and blood” to do it. Smh, what is wrong with this world we live in? 
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It really depends on the situation. In most states, rights cannot be terminated unless there’s someone willing to step up and adopt or there’s sufficient reason that the child should not be with the other parent.
I’ve seen many parents have their rights terminated because they have failed to follow a plan put in place by child services. However, generally, they have to have been involved with the child and reported at some point.
Your best bet would be to file for sole custody. This still obligates him to pay child support, but essentially takes away his rights to make decisions.
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Why terminate his rights? What if he wants to come back into their life? Idk… how does this help them? Just curious. Either way. Wish you the best!
Usually the parent has to sign over rights…not just get married and adopted by the new parent.
Then why even terminate his rights if he is already out of the picture
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The laws are different by states. KY is also a “no bastard” state. But you do NOT have to be married. You just have to have another adult step up and say that they are willing to take place of the parent who’s rights are being terminated (your ex in this case). I will warn you, it is a rather expensive process. We’ve paid approx $11k so far and are almost done.
If u terminate and there is no one willing to adopt and something happened to u the child would be a ward of the state. I don’t see why u need to terminate if he’s already out of the picture.
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Will he sign his rights away? That may be an easier route to take
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That’s crazy if it’s TRUE.
What is it with redneck states and everything being the property of some man? Can’t get your tubes tied unless you’re married and your husband gives permission, can’t get a deadbeat’s rights revoked unless you’ve got a replacement daddy. Wtf?
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He can lose all physical rights to child…but he will still be held finacially responsible …if a child is taken in by foster care the parent loses physical rights to their child…but they still have to pay child support while their child is in the system…legally they have some rights…like for medical treatment and stuff like that but thats about it…if the child remains in cys whatever its called in other states for a long period of time the state will terminate the parental rights and adopt the child out …then the absent parents will no longer be held accountable finacially to the child but they will lose all parental legal rights…including medical rights…call your local child protection agency and ask them about filing a complaint against the father for child abandonment
You can claim abandonment if he hasnt even made an effort to see your kid.
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Same thing goes here in Canada.
My ex husband had his parental rights voluntarily terminated in KY. It was an easy process for the most part. I was married so that probably made a huge difference but I even told the lawyer and the judge that I was more than able and ready to take on full responsibility for the kids, that I have been doing that for a long time. He gave up his rights just because for he most part. There was no abuse, drugs, alcohol, abandonment, etc involved. Although, it’s very hard for a child to understand why their parent gave up theirs rights and there’s a lot of self blaming. Even though it had nothing to do with the child. IMO if he’s already out of the picture then just go for sole custody. Show your child that you gave their father every chance to be part of their life. It’s just as hard but from experiencing what my children suffers with knowing that their parent gave them up for good… Didn’t even try…no chance of ever having them just show up one day…days spent crying/depressed/etc trying to figure out why they were so horrible that their dad just gave them up. Even therapy hasn’t helped. Even though it seemed like the best course of action at the time, I wish I hadn’t of agreed to it.
Same thing in florida I already tired as well.
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The lawyer is 100% correct…and you have to get the father to agree to sign off his rights
It would be much easier to just try to get full custody instead of getting his rights terminated completely. You’d have better chances with getting full custody anyway…
Does he pay child support? Tell him sign off and don’t pay anymore?
Sole custody is a thought too.
I live in SC and I had my daughter when I was 17 and after a year of her bio dad not seeing her i was able to go to a lawyer and he signed over his rights. She is now 15.
Can you claim abandonment?