My boyfriend goes to the gym daily…the other day he opened up to me and told me this girl has been hittin on him…come to find out this has been happening for weeks and he just now decided to tell me…when i asked why it took him so long to tell me about it, he said he “didnt think about it” but then it causes a huge fight…he finally said she only goes in the morning…but he literally goes every morning because thats the “only time he can go” even though he can go after work. Now i do not trust him and dont know what to do
Is there a different gym in the area that he can go to? He may not have told you right away, but he did tell you and in my experience that’s better than most who would never have brought it up. I’d question why did he tell you because short of confronting her in public, there’s nothing that you can do about it except trust him to resolve the issue by telling her that he is married, not available nor interested in any kind of affair, and ask her to please redirect her flirtatious interest elsewhere. That request should be enough for any woman to do as asked and stop flirting and tempting a man who’s in a committed relationship or married and not interested. If she doesn’t stop, then there are steps he can take by reviewing rules of gym membership for any guidelines and then report the situation to a manager or as directed in guidelines. Of course there may be legal options or filing a report with local law enforcement if unsolicited and unwanted advances continue since that craziness falls in line with stalking, which is illegal. We all have to be aware that at some point during our marriage, our significant other will experience such a situation when another woman (or man) may flirt or express interest in our spouse. It’s human nature & especially if the flirter is unaware of their interests marital status. What we should be able to trust and expect is for our spouse to handle the issue accordingly by clarifying their unavailability, not reciprocating the behavior, & requesting the action to stop. I personally don’t think it’s essential to alert a spouse of such occurrences unless it happens repeatedly and especially if the request to stop has been made yet ignored.
By telling you he had to know you’d immediately have concern and feel threatened which may be misinterpreted as jealously. That’s why I asked about his reasoning in telling you because that’s obviously an issue that must be resolved. He either needs your help, advice, or simply support while he works toward resolve, or he has a selfish desire to make you feel jealous in order to feed his ego. You are likely able to best determine that motivation since you know him intimately. In any event, try to not be angry that he didn’t tell you right away and express appreciation that he did confide in you even if it wasn’t right away. Ask him how you can help and most of all state your expectations that the behavior will stop because he will take appropriate action to ensure that it does. Let him know you are there to help any way that you can and you’re in this together!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. This girl has been hitting on my boyfriend at the gym: Advice?
He didn’t have to tell you.
I mean he’s not the one flirting and he told you. No one likes to go after work. Don’t make a problem if there isn’t one and disrupt your own peace
Mention going with him one day. If he starts freaking out, then you know somethings up.
He seems trustworthy for telling you. If he liked her back, he’d be secretive about it.
So why isn’t he putting a stop to it? Why let it go on for weeks?He could be telling you because it annoys him.I mean there’s nothing you can do…he has to to tell her.
Honestly if he was being honest with you he wouldve told you sooner
Keep your cool. see how it plays out before you show out.
He told you… and didn’t have to. Go to the gym with him? If there was a reason to not trust him he would of hid it. Has he shot it down? Has he told her he’s not interested?
He told you and you don’t trust him lol. He didn’t have to tell you but he did .
He’s the only one who can put a stop to it by telling her he’s with you and to back off. For it to be happening for weeks? Either he likes the attention or he’s oblivious that he’s just bringing it up now
He didn’t have to tell you, just say that you want to go with him one day to see his reaction
He never thought to tell her he’s not interested ooor?
Start going with him
he shouldn’t be telling you things
Being flirted with makes anyone feel good. The fact he told you about it would make me think nothing is going on. I wouldn’t be happy about it either but at least he’s being honest and talking to you about it.
Then go to the gym and see for yourself what’s happening😅
That’s his responsibility to say something to her and set boundaries with someone. No man should be out here letting someone else think he’s available.
You need to sit down with him and genuinely tell him it’s bothering you and to just let her know he has a girlfriend and have him ask her to stop.
If you truly don’t trust him, leave now, it’ll never get better. A relationship with no trust is doomed to fail.
Lol go to the gym
You not trusting him is gonna make him hide more things from you.
Ask him if he has said his not interested or brought up the fact that he has a partner.
Why wouldn’t you trust him. He waited to tell you because he knew it would cause a fight which it did.
AS IN like just see for yourself
He might like the attention, he might have been concerned how you’d react. You just don’t know. There’s a few good suggestions, offer to go with him for start I would say.
The real question is, did he put her in her place if she keeps coming up to him
My ex told me this too, and then I agreed to go with him.
And after to times going, and not seeing her-he admitted there wasn’t a girl. He just was tired of going to the gym alone
He told you about it. He didn’t even have to tell you, you’d never have known. Have a little faith in your partner.
No wonder why he didn’t tell you for so long… wtf? It’s not his fault
He told you about it he has a conscience
Go with him & be all over him
I’d take a trip to the gym with him. Lol
Ummmm go with him lol… I mean my husband gets hit on at the gym every day and I trust him but he always ask me if I wanna go.
If she’s the only one flirting it seems a little unfair not to trust him.
First off he told you second if it bothers you that much go with him confront her yourself unless he gave you reasons to doubt him I think if I didn’t trust him I would find out for sure and if there is no trust then why you still there?
Maybe he didn’t realize she was flirting at first, and is telling you now because he just figured it out. Either way, the fact that he told you is good. Did he seem like he was annoyed by it or was it more like he was bragging about it?
Ugh all the insecure drama.
I would take my ass to the Gym with him every day until she got the picture.
He told you himself— give him the benefit of trust
The fact that he told you says a lot though. I’d bet if he didn’t tell you before it’s because he just doesn’t care about that other girl but now she’s getting obnoxious and it’s bothering him. Its entirely possible he told her he’s in a relationship and she doesn’t care. Some girls are gross like that. My husband goes to the gym in the mornings before work so he has more time in the evenings to spend with his family so that might be your husband’s reasoning for wanting to go in the mornings as opposed for after work
Well if you’re fighting w him about it he’s not gonna tell you anything ever again. He didn’t have to tell you. It might be a way to hint that he wants your attention.
I think I seen this post before
Same thing happened to me in my younger days. I told my wife. I decided to work out with my wife and teenage daughters.
He told you about it so that’s pretty honest
He’s telling you to get a reaction… he wants you to be jelly. I say, either start going with him or do the same back
And this is why he only just barely told you
So basically you are mad at your boyfriend for being a man and talking to you. I think I could bet a million dollars he will make SURE he never tells you SHIT in the future. Being honest with a girl that’s insecure is pointless ! ( your post is a perfect example !
If he is shutting her down and he tells you what is happening then you have a good man. I don’t blame you for being jealous but he is literally being a good bf and you are getting mad at him.
If it was me though. I would go to the gym with him and give her the good ol’ stink eye.
Maybe you should go with him to the gym and confront her
He literally told you. GO WITH HIM! People oggle my husband and I everyday, learn to adapt. You can mark your territory, by going, don’t make him mess up his routine cause of something that’s unavoidable in society.
Whewwww and this is how my ex husbands affair started… watch out!
Go to the gym. Women should work out too.
Sounds like he didn’t tell you because he knew your reactions are overrated. He didn’t have to tell you if he didn’t want to but he did which says a lot.
Make her see he have a woman
Honestly… my husband gets hit on all the time, sometimes I’m even with him when they do it. Overall, it really doesn’t bother me because I can’t at all control what other people do, and (this is the really important part) I absolutely trust my husband. I’m secure in my relationship and in my position with my spouse. Also, it’s not his fault that others find him attractive. Now, if your boyfriend is returning the attention, that’s a massive problem. Otherwise, straighten your crown and walk in confidence; insecurity won’t be your friend here.
First of all, he told you. If he had something to hide you still wouldn’t know. Secondly, if you can’t trust him to go to the gym, then you should probably break it off now.
He is telling you. Either get up and go with him or let this woman keep chipping away at him. You mad at the wrong person your bf didn’t have to say anything but did
Does he care if you go? Your relationship has to be stronger, he didn’t need to tell you! Don’t fight with him! You should say “of course she’s chasing you, you’re hot! Did you chase her off?”
I feel like you need to chill out. Why not go with him. Or go with him after work? He didn’t have to tell you it was a non issue. You don’t have proof that he flirted back or anything. So maybe just go eith him. He also needs to tell the other girl he has a gf.
When people tend to overreact… ppl stop sharing information
Maybe he just brushed it off at first but it’s continuing… i would ask him if he’d like some company at the gym… tell his h o e to leave your man alone.
If there’s no trust. The relationship will not work. Period
Guess ur his new gym buddy sis
Lol you’re the problem
Girl seriously he cannot control what other women do, only what he does & he chose to tell you about it.
Yeah I agree it’s weird he didn’t tell you from the start that would make anyone start to question their partner, but the fact it’s been happening is leading towards the fact he hasn’t put her in her place and that should tell you everything about how he feels about you, there’s some lack of respect there and you need to address it because if he can’t respect you then he’s not a good one
I would let him go then you make your way down there too
There’s definitely some insecurity coming from you, m3n are stupid. They are literally some of the most clueless creatures out there. He told you, probably when it became consistent enough for him to notice and process it. Fighting with him is going to cause more problems later on. I think you should apologize and talk about how it made you feel insecure, and ask if there’s another location he can go to or if you can go too
If you can’t trust him from this then you need to leave. Without trust there’s nothing. My boyfriend goes to the gym every morning before work so he can come home and spend time with me and my daughter and he tells me all the time how girls hit on him when he goes but you have to have that trust in him that nothing will happen and getting mad at him over things like this and then not trusting isn’t helping the relationship. If you have a good looking man wear that proudly if he isn’t messing around bc little things like this is gonna ruin it I just got over this myself and came to trust my bf and if he does something then it shows his character and yours and if he’s doing it then leave but if a man is being open to you about it then you blow up over it and make it into something it shouldn’t of been it’ll make him stop telling you things
Why don’t you trust him, she’s the one hitting on him, and he told you. Go to the gym with him.
If he feels uncomfortable hejust needs to tell her and if she doesnt stop he can tell the staff . This isnt a difficult situation and it doesnt involve you unless she knows you and him
Time to start going to the gym with him . So you can tell the other girl that this is your man and to stop bothering him … nuff said
What you can do is have some self love and confidence in yourself. Also TRUST him if he was giving attention back you wouldn’t even know ￼
Growing up will help.
Is there any other reason that you don’t trust him now ??? Go to the gym with him !!
You cant trust him? Haa haa
First of all he told you
This chic was hitting on him
Obviously he didn’t respond to her
Perhaps take it as nothing else
Otherwise he wouldn’t have told you
Time to get ready and be his partner .you go in and let him show you who she is and make sure she knows he’s yours and no problem. I’m glad he told you.
Go workout together! It’s fun!!
Grow up. This is immature af. You got mad at him for someone hitting on him. That makes no sense.
You need to trust him. If he’s never done anything to abuse your trust before then let it go.
He doesn’t need to change when he goes, doesn’t need you going to the gym with him or basically pissing all over him marking your territory in front of this girl.
I’d tell him to not tell you in future since it’s made you this insecure but you’re glad he’s getting an ego boost.
He’s gonna get hit on no matter when he goes.
Practice some self love
If it happened once it’s not worth mentioning, it’s been happening repeatedly that’s why he told you. Seems like he’s being honest. Depends on how he told you. “Hey this girl at the gym hit on me today, it only happened once” that would have been 1 conversation you would have had more ?s than he had answers for. It happened More than once and he’s told you that so he had more information this time. Just one opinion. He cant control other girls hitting on him he does control how he reacts or tells you.
So go workout with him. Or tell him thanks for being honest. Your trust in him should be better not worse hes trying to be honest. If he didn’t care about you he would be quiet.
Then he needs to put her in her place. If he can’t set boundaries and let this girl know he isn’t interested then there is your answer. He can’t control what she does, but the fact she “has been hitting on hom for weeks” says he hasn’t told her he isn’t interested. If he’d have told her she’d not feel so confident in continuing to pursue him. Girls don’t generally pursue men who make it clear they aren’t interested. He left the door open for her
If he is truly you nan. .
Don’t worry about it…
I would say he’s thinking of it and wants help to decide no
At least he told you about it if he was trying to hide anything he would not have told you
The fact that he told you is good. Maybe she is practically harassing him at this point. I myself would be going to the gym to give her a piece of my mind but that could lead to trouble. Tell him if he cares about you he should tell her to f off. I have a better woman at home so stop!!!
- Men sometimes mistake niceties for hitting on them. I worked in customer service and just general polite behavior was often taken as me being interested. So anytime a friend thinks a girl is hitting on them, I always ask for specific details. Oh, she says “hi” and “excuse me?” Yeah, no.
- My partner had a woman touch his bicep in a slow and sensual way and he stood his boundary. Literally said “I have a fiancée” and walked away. Let them fight their own battles.
- It may have taken your partner awhile to realize he was even being hit on. I know I tend not to notice that stuff right away, and I’ve often had friends inform me after the fact that “he was totally hitting on you!”
Go to the gym with him
At least he told you. If your that worried go with him. What do you have to lose? Weight
I really don’t see the problem on his side. He can report it if it doesnt stop. Many men don’t even think about it or give it mind. Be happy he told you. To start a fight over it sounds childish. If he liked it he wouldn’t have told you. This could make him think twice about coming to you about things in the future. Instead of fighting how about help him find a good way of setting boundaries and having it stop. He shouldn’t have to be harassed just trying to work out.
Sounds like he wants his ego stroked and she is doing it for him maybe he is trying to tell u to go with him or actually still act like yal did when yal first got together relationships are about both people in it🤷🏾♀️
I would say to give him the reassurance. It seems like he might like the attention but would prefer it from you since he brought it up to you. If he was trying to be sneaky he would have kept it a secret but since he is sharing then maybe he is trying put it out there in hopes it will draw your attention. If you want to work out with him that is great but I wouldn’t suggest making it a chore just to be able to watch your man. A sneaky man will be secretive, your man is asking for your attention.
I’d go to the gym with him. If be acts sketchy or don’t want you to go then you know something’s sus. I wish you the best!!
I think he’s an awesome honorable man for telling you. He deserves praise and respect for his honesty. He could have stayed quiet and let it manifest into something much bigger. Some men are just that way where they don’t think something is a big deal or not worth mentioning. Or he just forgot because it didn’t mean anything to him. By creating an fight out of this you discouraged him from being honest with you next time. Plus working out after work isn’t good for him cuz he’s probably tired, the machines are full cuz more people go at that time, plus morning work outs are better then evenings.
Give him credit where it’s do, and Apologize
Take it as a compliment from both sides. He’s good looking or has a nice body. An he’s being upfront an honest w you. Go work out w him.
Go with him and make it your thing to do together
You dont really have a reason to not trust him. You should be happy he told you and respect and appreciate his honesty.