Opinions on threesomes. My husband is really pushing for a threesome. He always brings it up during sex. It obviously really turns him on, and I like the idea but I’m beyond nervous… I’ve been with this man for 14 years and no one else. In anyone’s experience, has this caused issues in their marriage later on if they do it? Does it become a thing he always wants?
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So is he going to do another dude in front of you ?
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That has NO written all over it
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I would think it would ruin a marriage and never a good idea to bring another one into a marriage especially for sex. Lots of emotions form.
Make sure you get a guy to join first 
bet he won’t be okay with that.
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Tell him you’ll ask one of your guy friends to be the 3rd person then 
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Does he want to involve another man or another woman?
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Caused serious issues for my best friend when she gave in and gave him what he wanted. They’re divorced now after 14 years.
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So he wants you to watch him f*** another woman or he’s wanting you to watch him have sex with another man or he wants to watch you have sex with another man or woman personally I think that sounds like a lot of work adding another person. If you cannot be sexually satisfied with your partner there’s some serious issues… he has issues… know your worth baby girl…
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Dump his disgusting ass and respect yourself more than that!
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In my opinion that’s something I could do before marriage but with someone I’m sp committed to and they to me I’m not sure how I would be comfortable with that. Does he want to do said things with person or just watch?
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Are you a queen or a pauper❓
Oh hell to the no way!
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Tell him to get lost, he should not be asking at all
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Sounds like he just wants to sleep with someone else
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If my husband wanted a 3some I would think he probably already had someone (woman) in mind. And if he’s pushing for a 3some he’s trying to find a way to be with that woman “legitimately” without going “outside” our marriage or “cheating” on me. But in my opinion, I can’t share. I’ve heard stories, from my husband from his patients, who have 3somes and then the guys are sleeping with the other woman when the wife isn’t around because well, she was okay with it to begin with during the 3some and it isn’t like I’m cheating. Ummm…not sure that’s how it works. Solid no from me.
I was the one that wanted the extra. Works fine in mine 
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I personally couldn’t do it
My bf mentions he would like to see it but NEVER says anything during sex and it’s really once in a blue moon bc it would NEVER happen with me
Nope you will regret it. ! And he shouldn’t even be thinking of anyone else scum bag 
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Ask him if he’s agreeable to a three way for you with another guy if you agree to one with another girl, that’s might make him rethink it
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He is sick sent him on his way
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Requesting that in the middle of yall having sex is extremely disrespectful in my opinion. 2nd its something to talk about what expectations are guy vs girl. And if.he wants a girl ask how he’d feel if you wanted it to be a guy. Express your concerns. Open communication. It is NOT for everyone and shouldn’t be taken lightly. That and you anf his bond.
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In all honesty, I have no experience whatsoever but it really sounds like you should both go to a marriage counselor and talk it out with a mediator in the room before deciding to go ahead and try it, especially if you think it’s going to ruin your marriage
Tell him “sure, I already have the other man picked out” I’d be willing to bet it’s not the threesome he had in mind or would consider.
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Sure. Tell him as long is he is okay with it being another dude… I’m sure he will change his tune real quick. He is obviously trying to find an excuse to screw another woman.
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Ask him if he’d be willing to do the same for you. If he says no, then he just wants a reason to get some strange.
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Everyone telling you to tell him to get lost need to chill. Ask yourself, is this something you’re interested in? You said you are but you’re nervous. Sit down and have an open discussion with him about it, not during sex. Talk about your boundaries, your limits, what you are and are not willing to do. Then maybe try to find a lifestyle club near you to explore your options with similar minded people. You don’t need to divorce the man just for asking. Talk. Be open and honest. After your talks, if it’s not for you, tell him. This is no different than any other kink people have.
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If you don’t feel comfortable then don’t do it! Y’all been married for 14 years why suddenly that’s what he wants?
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Ask him who the other guy is.
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That’s a no from me🤦🏻♀️ it’s asking for trouble
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Honestly…if do that…it is better to just couple swap with a couple know is in a stable relationship and you both know and feel comfortable with.
Could never let my husband sleep with a strange woman not in a relationship. I would be too jealous. However, you both get what you want when swap…Tried the threesome thing before marriage and it just didn’t feel right. Going drinking with friends and swapping on occasion…as in once every three to six months…seemed to make us closer.Hasnt affected the friends marriage any either. Know it is all just in fun and no one falling in love and running away with someone else’s spouse.
Don’t do it, it opens a door way to cheating
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If you aren’t 100% committed to it,don’t do it. You have to completely trust each other and you have to actually want it too…Don’t just do it to please him.
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My hubs mentioned it, and offered to bring in one of my exes… I noped that conversation real quick
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Once you give in hell always want it if you don’t want to do that put your foot down!
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When he says it in the middle of sex, I would say “Omg I’m so glad you brought it up! I have a man in mind that I would love to add!”
Have him see how it feels 
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Some people have a fetish, that they don’t really want in real life. I know that makes zero sense… Just role play w him while he’s in the mood. Dont actually do it
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Just make sure its something you want to do and won’t throw it up in an arguement or use it against him. Me personally I couldn’t do it
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I would say ok! You me and another guy. Then if you are ok with it we can do you me and another girl!
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I think this can go both ways.
For some relationships it’s makes them stronger
For others it kills the marriage
If you’ve never been on the same page and feeling the want need or confidence for this type of relationship then I’d say don’t do it.
However you’re the only one that knows you, your husband and your relationship. If there’s second guessing doubts listen to it. Good luck I hope the best
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If you are not 110% comfortable and on board with it, then it’s a no.
I was with a man for 12 years, we separated in March 2019. He started acting beyond weird in January 2019. Saying he wanted an open relationship, 3somes etc. and if I didn’t agree with it… our relationship was done. As stupid as I was, I agreed because I had been with this man since I was 15 and we had 3 kids, a beautiful house the whole thing. Everyone thought we had it together. Behind closed doors it was a different story though: anyways, I agreed and was so uncomfortable about the entire thing. He wanted to go out after work and do his thing and then come home to me and the kids- dinner a clean house etc. it made it sick to think about it. I wasn’t myself. I was trying to do whatever I could to keep him, because at the time I thought I needed him. I thought he loved me and I was everything he wanted and needed. Well I wasn’t. I wasn’t good enough apparently for him. I never went through with the 3somes, I just couldn’t. Here I am 2 years later, and have an amazing life now. A husband that loves the kids and I and has treated us right since day 1. I’ve never been happier.
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Ask him if you can bring in “Daryl”, and see if he minds you getting railed by him! Let’s see how quick he changes his mind.
Bad idea. Do not ruin your marriage by being forced into uncertainty.
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2 is company 3 is a crowd. Not a good idea to bring a third person to your bedroom
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My ex husband and I had 3 some I got tired of him asking only made things worse he wanted us after that to sleep with other people as long as we were honest ect I ended up leaving him If I had the choice over I wouldn’t do it
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Look for Sex group formally known as kaleidoscope. You will get far more knowledgeable non judgmental conversations on this subject. I personally wouldn’t recommend this forum for advice on such things. Far to much uneducated and personal judgment.
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Him mentioning it once to get your take on it… is one thing. Him always mentioning it, especially during sex with you…is another. Not cool.
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We’ve done it a few times. Honestly it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Nothing too great tbh lol. Definitely didn’t leave me wanting to do it again.
If it doesn’t sound appealing to you from the get go… don’t try to talk yourself into it.
For me… I’m bi… so threesomes with my husband and another girl are a hell yes for me😂 but I’m also always the one in control of the situation. He doesn’t get to pick the girl. They don’t get to have some weird relationship on the side. And the girl is always very respectful of the dynamic of husband and wife. Sounds fucked up to say but she “knows her place”
Once that door opens there is no going back it will change the dynamics of your relationship maybe for the worst. Really think about it.
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Works for us but I am Bi. And watch porn more than him. The threesomes we’ve had have all been my idea. It’s a conversation you have to be 200% transparent about. If he can’t tell you his fantasy in detail, word for word what is running through his mind what he wants to see and experience, then I wouldn’t. The Swinger lifestyle is not for everyone.
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It works for some people, but it involves complete commitment on both sides and a TON of communication. You have to lay down ground rules (what is and isn’t allowed, who to involve, etc.) and they HAVE to be followed completely. If one partner is not completely interested, or a partner disregards the rules, it can absolutely ruin your relationship.
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There’s so much negativity here. Is it my cup of tea? Not exactly. But a lot of people do it and have a lot of fun and have wonderful relationships. I know couples who do it twice a month for the passed 10 years!! And they are extremely happy together!! I say have a long detailed talk and if youre comfortable, do it, if you aren’t, dont!!
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Don’t do it. Both my siblings done this with their partners and both split up with one cheating and the other cheating on them with the third person. Both were in 15 years plus relationships. Obviously its your call and you know your relationship but for me it will never happen x
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Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it as they say 
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Say sure. Which guy friend did you have in mind? Bet his mindset will change 
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Sounds like a really bad idea
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How does he want it you, him and another man or you, him and another woman?
Are you secure in your relationship and willing? It does change everything but not necessarily in a bad way.
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It really depends on your relationship. You don’t seem comfortable with the idea, so you shouldn’t do it.
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He sounds like a little bitch
Say yes we’re the other man at ?? Yeah tell him you wanna do it but with another dude too see what he says
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I agree with every single person who said ask him about a man… It seems great but if you are not polyamorous I would not advise it.
Also Even if you use projection she could get preggers … If he has someone in mind he literally has been plotting to sleep with her before…
Once you let someone else in after 14 years its not the same
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Depends ? Are you the jealous type ?
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It changes the dynamics and sometimes for the worst. Happened with my friends and the whole thing ended up being a shit show in the end. I strongly disagree with them unless you’re super strong in your relationship and set boundaries and stick by them.
Its generally not a good idea. We’ve done it a lot when we were younger been together 9 years. Its not something I’d recommend lmao
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Show him pics of the guys you want to be in the threesome.
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I think he wants to experience another girl without “cheating”
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Personally, monogamy is for me, but I know plenty of people who have been in an open relationship as well as poly. If it happens everyone’s wants, needs, and feelings needs taken into account beforehand and used as groundwork to build parameters for “rules” what’s ok and what isn’t. He may be perfectly happy just being with you during and watching you be with her, if that’s something you’re into. Talk about it in depth and figure out if there’s a way you would both be comfortable doing it, and if not then don’t do it.
I think this opens a door, i personally wouldn’t open in my relationship.
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It’s really not that cracked up to what it’s supposed to be when I was 20 I was with a 50 year old he always had another guy get involved different ones and when we would see the people when he wasn’t around they would have feelings I found out that I think he wanted the guys is what he wanted but I ended up leaving him for one of the guys and got married and was married for 10 years then divorced him. A big mistake with the 50 year old and the other person involved that I married it can mess your relationships up when feelings get involved. now I’m alone and happy
It works for us! 15 year relationship and it has never negatively affected us.
Yeah ask him if with a dude I wouldn’t though fuck that
Personally I would never do that with somebody I was an actual relationship with
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He’s asking for trouble. Disrespectful that he asked you during sex. That’s a big no for me!
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Get rid of your husbam
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Id say it is a bad idea in a monogamous relationship but to each their own
It will end your marriage
He’s tired of yal boring sex.
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Personally I couldn’t do it.
To have any doubts in the first place is a red flag. Trust ur gut
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Been there. Done that. … DON’T.
I k my husband’s friend did 3 some got syphilis, and its gross.
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People that are saying “get rid of him” must have never had a sexual fantasy that they may have not brought up to their partner. He’s not bad for asking you about it. It would be bad if he did it without you tho. As long as you set boundaries, STRICT boundaries, and are secure in your relationship, you’ll be fine.
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Does he get to pick the guy?
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Go ahead and bring another man home for that Threesome 
See how he feels
#ThrowThatManAway
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Not unless you are into that thing and aren’t jealous. But if he wants to mess around with another chick in the bedroom then he shouldn’t have gotten married… This can bring all sorts of trouble… And would he be in to it if you wanted another male in bed with yas
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I’d first ask the question…is it another woman or man?
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Would Jesus approve?
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I would not bring another person into my marriage bed. My friend did and of course he left her for the other woman. Personally I don’t anyone touching what’s mine…
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Nothing wrong with expressing a fantasy. Expressing a desire doesn’t necessarily mean you want to act on it. Some people just need the assurance that you will at least listen to them while they explain to you. Those of you saying “throw the man away” are supremely immature and clearly were sheltered as a child.
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He’s not gonna have one threesome an never want it again that’s for sure
What a hot mess😒 How degrading of him to even ask you.
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Not sure how happy I would be with it to be honest xx
Your husband is bored of your sex life and possibly you. Get rid of him. He is no good for you. He has no respect for you and your needs.
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Was he bored of having sex with you? If my husband ask me that ill tell him mine as lets get divorce and move on!! That’s asking for trouble
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My ex and i had 2 of them, the first one went well. The second one is the one he left me for.
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Dont kink shame people people!! If you’re nervous discuss it openly maybe even do some online research. but hes not a monster for having a sexual thought jesus christ some of yall need to chill
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Mine asked for a threesome once… I agreed if it was another male. He declined!
Hasn’t brought the subject up ever again.
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Me and my husband did it. We both agreed it be with another woman. We both picked the woman and talked to her before hand. It was really enjoyable for the both of us. My husband wore condom with her took it off when it came to me.so something you really need to sit talk to ur spouse about
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Now if it’s another man he’s wanting to add, go for it! Seriously though, if you’re nervous don’t do it. Nothing good will come of it.
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My husband and i just set ground rules. I got to pick who, no kissing, paying more attention to each other than the third person. It was fun and we’re still together and happy 8 years later. This is just my experience and doesn’t mean it would work for everyone. If you’re not comfortable than don’t do it.
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