*Trigger Warning* My husband is pressuring me to start working, but I worry about handling the stress: Advice?

There’s many online jobs. You could try being a online admin for social media companies or other ones.
Phone operators at times are done from home. It varies in what area you live really. Maybe set up your own handy person business, start small with what you’ve got and then as it grows get more item’s and offer bigger job’s. Gardening is great this time of year. Building sheds, doing thing’s you have experience in.

So sorry ti hear you went through such an awful horrific experience and are going through so much right now. He shouldn’t insult you etc that’s abuse especially knowing what you have to deal woth and how more stress etc can affect you. Please see a doctor of you’re heading to being burnt out, your children love and need you. Hope thing’s get better. Take care.

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He makes the money, he can spend it like he wants. As long the bills get paid, food on the table and clothes on their back. Try getting disability if you dont want to/ cant work.

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I suffer with anxiety (not at this level) & returning to work was the best thing I ever did despite being so nervous about it :heart:

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Sounds like you need another mental health evaluation . Get on the right meds that will help all of your needs not just 1.

Girl, you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can beat a dead horse but it’s still dead. This is exactly where you’re at. You’re at a point where you need to start putting yourself first on a road to healing. Because if you don’t, no one else will.
I think you’d benefit most from therapy. Get yourself the help you need to confront your past and move on to manage your anxiety. Then you can circle back to a possible job. But not before. Do the mental work. Your babies need their mama at her best. The way you described things, there’s no way they’re getting your best.

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I don’t think he understands where you are coming from! I am bipolar and I had to be a stay at home mom as that is what I wanted to be! Once my medication was right, I tried to work and it was up and down. Please pray about it. Just don’t talk with him about it until you get counseling​:woman_kneeling::woman_kneeling::woman_kneeling::heart::hugs:

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You should be eligible for disability benefits. See a lawyer and they will guide you on what you need medically to prove your case. Therapy for an extended time may help. At least gain some tools to deal with things better. Good luck!

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I would talk to your mental health professional for advice about how to handle the situation.

But at the end of the day If your husband isn’t supporting you doing what’s best for you then is he doing more good or more harm to your mental health?

I have anxiety and a history of depression. I have health issues. Turns out my ex husband actually made all of those things worse for me. It was a part of his control over me. Now mind you this was in an abusive relationship which I’m by no means saying you’re in, but it sounds like he making things worse rather than better. Hence my suggestion to talk maybe with a therapist or someone who could get a better idea of the bigger picture and provide you with the help and support you need.

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People work full time jobs everyday and suffer from anxiety and chronic pain. Its doable. I do it and raise a kid on my own and pay for daycare

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You need God in your life. Desperately. Seek the Lord. And the peace and calm He brings will give you strength to live your life normally.

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I feel so sorry for you as someone who also struggles from anxiety and sometimes finds working a hard thing to do as some days my anxiety is ruthless I’d suggest trying to explain how you feel and talk to him about how your anxiety feels and how you feel right now you are best at home with your little ones. I hope he will come to see your side of the story. Best of luck!

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Therapy, therapy, marriage counseling…then think about maybe a part time job or work from home opportunities, there are legit ones. Working helps my anxiety. Prayers.

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Drop him it will help alot. Get a job and do for your own children. Its hard but it will pay off. I have general anxiety and depression. I was with someone that made it so much worse. I finally dropped him and my life got much better. Yes I had to work and put my child in daycare but it was worth it.

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Tell him that with 2 babies, you have a FULL TIME JOB.
Does he not know how much childcare costs?

It may be a good thing to have a part time job. It may be good therapy for you, I mean- like only 2 or 3 days a week, not much to help with any bills- just your well being.

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Having severe mental issues like anxiety, depression and such qualifies you for social security disability. It’s a long road of paperwork to apply and talking to your docs. But if you really want to work try 2-3 days a week somewhere there aren’t too crowded or try to find a remote job. I do feel having a job can make you feel good being social with people other than your husband and kids 24/7. I hope you feel better. But nothing is more important than mental health.

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I work with adults that suffer like you. Have you thought of looking into SSI or other programs? If you are as bad off as your implying you would qualify for some sort of benefit. Those that live in the house I work at are all at different stages, some hold jobs while most dont. You should speak to your dr. And also if your getting concealing speak to them about you working. They may sign papers for you stating your in no condition to work and you take that and find what you qualify for.

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Get yourself a therapist that will help you with boundaries.
You are your best advocate.
No means no, and I am not going to put myself in a position of endangering myself or others.
You deserve good rest and sleep for this disorder is key.
Anxiety will kill you. Get help. If you can’t afford it look for county help. Suicide isn’t an option.
Prayers for you. :heartpulse:

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You know your struggles, your struggles are valid. Your illnesses are affecting you and it seems as though you are working to better your situation. You are doing what you’re supposed to do. He sounds like he’s being toxic. He knows your issues and struggles but it doesn’t mean anything to him. His own reckless issues are more important than your mental health

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I too have Bipolar along with PTSD anxiety OCD amongst other things. I worked until 4 years ago. All of my life I worked a full time job. I worked with 3 kids at home a house to maintain and 40 hours per week in a stressful job. I finally realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I get social security disability for now. Because if I can’t take care of myself how can I take care of my family?! So here I am struggling still but able to maintain my kids and home schooling and my house with some help from
My husband that works hard and makes good money. He is very understanding and always has my
Back. Do what you need to do for those babies and your health.

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My daughter just finished her sessions at steiner family chiropractic in Exeter to get her body our of the fight or flight stage. She had terrible anxiety and depression and it did help a lot.

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My daughter has ptsd, anxiety, and depression from being molested. We saw huge progress with counseling. When she felt ready, she got a part time job at a pet store. She connected with the animals and when she had a hard to handle customer, that’s what she concentrated on…the animals. Good luck. You’ve got this momma.

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Personally I would apply for disability and opt for the lawyer they will provide one to you. The lawyer only gets paid if you win your disability case and it comes out of your monthly disability. Regardless your husband should love and respect you not insult you. Love does not hurt. I’m sorry you’re struggling and in pain. You’re in my prayers :pray::heart:

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Get some counseling for yourself that focuses on your trauma. This isn’t the space for it, and I don’t have all the information, but from what you’ve shared you have PTSD not just anxiety and maybe not bipolar disorder. During the counseling process you can explore the prospect of working, as something you want for yourself, not because your husband wants to spend more.

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Look into shipt and instacart grocery delivery. That’s what I do. You make your own schedule work when you want to work. More importantly you can work when your husband gets home from work to take care of the kids. That way your not paying childcare. Another thing though is your husband should never insult you for not working. Mine used to do that and alot more now he is my ex husband. I’m a single mom and can provide a great life for my girls doing grocery delivery. If you live in an area where its popular it can be very lucrative. Good luck. :heart:

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So if you work is he going to pay the child care? Is he planning on cooking and cleaning now that you are working. It seems more and more men want their cake and eat it too. He sounds like he just wants his money to be his. Marriage is a mutual commitment and him not being open about finances seems like he doesn’t actually want to provide for your family

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First, check into getting SSDI. With having mental disorder you could qualify if you have it medically documented. Second sit down with SO and lay out how he needs to communicate with you. If he says that he is making the money and can do what ever, then you both need to see a therapist. If he still can’t open up and talk, show him the door. Sometimes a therapist can help you with your anxiety as well.

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Disability ? Sounds like a job won’t be good for you. You should qualify for disability. PTSD is a real thing. My mom sister and daughter have BMD. I’m sad for you and them. It’s not an easy life in the most ideal of circumstances.

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Look into the cost of daycare for 2 young kiddos. That right there might shut him up because he will realize you will pay out more then you bring home.

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I love kitchen design. Home depot trained me with NO experience. When I’m designing I think of nothing else. I put in earbuds and just let it flow. Find something your passionate about. God bless and good luck! Hugs

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What about a job like delivering packages for amazon. You’ll have to check but you can make your own hours or sign up for certain times and you don’t have to deal with people… just drop and go. Or a grub hub or door dash . You can pick your hours and not deal with people . Same with Instacart shopping for people … and it’s all doing stuff you probably do as a mom anyway . All these options you can do after he is home and kids are in bed Best of luck

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Hate to say it but sounds like you need to find yourself in a better situation. A man will always put his family first and make better decisions. Not be aggressive and unsupportive. He doesnt sound very mature and even a bit mentally abusive.

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Seeing a therapist weekly would help. Putting two kids in daycare will be expensive. Maybe get the amounts and let him know so he understands. Cleaning house might be good for you. It’s physical and you rarely have interaction with people.

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My husband is a stay at home dad. I am the sole provider. Yes it can be difficult, but the fact that he doesn’t tell you or consult with you on big purchases is a red flag. I may bring home the money but we still talk with each other for most purchases. Being a stay at home parent is very stressful.

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Advice from an old lady, KICK HIM TO THE CURB

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I feel this. I am also bipolar woth anxiety and ptsd. I start work this friday. We aren’t struggling and get by so I don’t need a job but I’ve decided for my own well being it would be good to have a job. I feel like I’m not pushing myself enough and if I continue to resist going out and doing things to move forward I’m just going to be stuck. But I’m scared. For me right now going back is the right decision. Do you think working will be a growth opportunity or will make your struggle worse. Ultimately you have to do what’s best for you.

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First of all regardless of how he feels, your financial situation or your mental health the insults are NOT OK and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that. My advice would be to first bring him with you to tour a few daycares and get pricing. Realistically with kiddos as young as yours you would very likely be working to pay for childcare. Maybe if he realizes this he will stop pushing you to work. You two should also sit down and talk about a budget, include spending money after figuring out monthly expenses. It’s always nice to have more than one income but it’s not always practical. If you find that it’s possible to work and still make money after paying for childcare be picky about the jobs you apply for. Dont apply for a position that makes you super uncomfortable or one that you think would be too much. You also need to have a very honest and blunt discussion about how HE will have to help maintain the house if/ when you go back to work. He can’t expect you to work and care for the house kids and pets all on your own.

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I don’t have much advice on the husband be just seems to lack support but I do hope that part of your treatment plan includes therapy and that if you’re not actively in therapy you start

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He should be able to learn how to not blow money all the time. My husband makes 50k a year and has supported me and 4 kids for 7 years. Now the older 2 moved out and we are having a baby together. He knows its much better for me to stay home and has never pushed me to get a job. I do occasionally babysit for extra money. My ex is supposed to pay so much child support a month but we recently had to go to court.

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I suffer from the same things, and I am going to share my input. I have 4 children under the age of 6. My husband works full time in a factory. I am not working currently, but it’s for the lack of childcare reason. However, working part time somewhere might benefit you. Or going to school. Don’t put money before your health. Ever. But if I were you, I would consider doing SOMETHING outside of the house to benefit you mentally. I am a nursing student. I go to class 4 hours a day while my kids are at preschool/1st grade, then stay home with the kids. I have worked from home as a writer for iwriter.com for extra money. I made about $100/week, but it was something.

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I would try to get a part time job maybe one or two days a week when your husband is home so you don’t pay for childcare. Getting out there may help you. Best of luck :heart:

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My ex is bipolar schizophrenic and he gets a disability check. He honestly cannot hold a job due to his illness. Might be something to look into.
Daycare is so expensive these days. I think you’d be working just to pay for child care.

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I am so sorry. I don’t know if I have any answers, but I would say, it sounds like you going to work would just add even more stress to your life.

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Please take Bach Remedies.
No working right now as you have very young kids. Only a mother should be around with infants.
Do lot of deep breathing. The brain needs lot of oxygen. For your mind-related issues more oxygen is of utmost importance.
Also if possible, just sit with eyes closed and awareness on your breath-- IN, OUT. At least for 5-10 minutes.
Along with medicines, these kind of simple exercises are needed.

adjust with whatever little money you get. Dont join a job now else you will have to shoulder so many responsibilities-- parenting, job, cooking, cleaning and all the rest.

Pray, pray, pray.

I read that you’ve tried everything for anxiety and I believe, but has anyone tried you on beta blockers? I take propranolol for my anxiety and surprisingly it made a diff, but only right in the beginning before it didnt really work anymore

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I would try to get a part time job … start little by little … Let’s say he would want a divorce , you would still have to find a job to support yourself and kids

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Most jobs are working from home now. You rarely have to do anything and paid a full paycheck. This is the real world now. Try it. You will be happy you did. Stop relying on him.

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Take it easy breath its alot going home i know for experience have alot on my plate as well why dont you try working from home might work i will try this so i cant tell you if it works for me they are so many companies out there im actually trying one its arisesolutions.

Regarding your sleep the lack of sleep dont make things easy try a routine get a notebook set it
Etc.
45 min excersise
Breakfast etc. Try tea at night read on your phone anything really helps music also it helps me i love it good luck

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First off I would see a psychiatrist for the anxiety. There are meds that can help with that . Second I would get a job like you said you’re used to not retail . You will actually feel better going back to work :heart:best of luck you

I would suggest seeing someone at a behavioral health near you. You have a lot on your plate, and, maybe, right now, a job outside of the house, isn’t the best for you and your family. You are already working a job that maybe your husband doesn’t realize is demanding. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you for doing the best you can daily while dealing with everyday stress, as well as your mental health.

Talk with your mental health provider and discuss a regimented appt schedule to get you through the first few weeks. Maybe just pick up a part time thing somewhere calm. Like a spa or book store or something…again, somewhere calm and not high stress levels. Best of luck

Perhaps apply for disability. And don’t let your husband pressure you to get a job right I know I don’t think it’s the right time to do so. Maybe, you should also be re-evaluated for postpartum depression you do have 2 young babies.
Wishing you all the best and I pray be bless with peace of mind❤

I would start with looking up the cost of day care - would you working simply be eaten up by someone else watching the kids. We both worked before and during kids and up until they were both out of day care it was literally one of our incomes that paid just for day care. Also, I would seek assistance for your mental heath needs, to help you work through your trauma.

Haven’t read everything… but daycare is going to cost you more than you will bring home…when it cost him money for you to work he’ll change his tune… once the kids are in school it’s a different story

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Sounds like he wants you to work so he can spend more. You work you take care of all of them. He needs to walk in your shoes for a week to see how much you do.

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I would check into disability. It would help give you an income. Or maybe like door dash or something that doesn’t require a ton of interaction. It’s obvious that you understand his feelings and you care about them. But he isn’t necessarily understanding your feelings. If you can get him to go couple’s therapy might be helpful. It will give you a safe space to really express your feelings in a healthy way so maybe he will understand. Good luck.

I’m sorry for the situation your are currently finding yourself in. You do need to think of yourself first because of your diagnoses. If you work will the money you earn go to paying childcare? If so is it worth the additional stress because of the pandemic and leaving your children in the care of non family members? Would you trust those others in the setting not to get your children sick?
With the economy in such a bad state I think people are learning to eliminate some spending habits. One needs to ask themselves: is the purchase a want or a need? Is it a life sustaining necessary or can be put on hold for the time being? I know I am learning that my wants and needs are vastly different and something I have to ask myself when I know it is a want not a need.

Sounds like he wants you to work so he has more money to blow… id talk to your mental health Dr about it and see if there’s anything they suggest to help. If you don’t want to work because its too much then tell your husband that. Also, you will make like $9 an hour if your lucky, childcare is crazy expensive so your whole check will go into that and you’d be lucky if it covers it.

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He seems very unsupportive and lacks understanding of your position. Maybe you would feel more stable and sure of yourself in a different relationship.

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Personally I would apply for disability and try marriage counseling and if he doesn’t change it may be best for you to separate from him.

I don’t have bipolar but I do have severed anxiety I have had anxiety attacks due to my kiddos meltdowns (I have 3 autistic boys 3,5 and 9) so I get it taking care of the house and kids is a lot of work. We all not the same but having a job even do is only 2 nights a week (it used to be 4 nights 1 morning before the virus) gives me a piece of mind and I feel like I have a life outside of my regular mom life. If its something you want to do maybe you should go for it maybe a few nights or days out off the week just for extra money. But I don’t know how to advive you about your husband insulting you because I would never let my husband insult me regardless of what he is going thru. We all have our problems but that is no excuss for making your partner feel bad, do whatever will make you feel better and whatever is best for your kids. Best of luck.

Maybe you could watch a child or 2 extra in the home. That would be 200 a week or so and you could still be home with your little ones.

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Sit down and go over the coat of childcare vs. what your take home pay would be. I would then explain what you do everyday. I’m sorry you’re going through this💜

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Your kids are pretty young and still need you constantly. Maybe in a couple years the timing would be better. Have you ever considered Dog Walking? I was a SAHM after a corporate job and Dog Walking was my way back into the world for seven years. Great exercise which is good for the soul to.

Ok so i to am bipolar and i have anxiety due to being hit head on, so it is mostly with driving. (I drive for a living lol go figure right) here is my question you have little ones so they arent any help (mine are older anf the reason i succeed in keeping our house neat)is the husband going to chip in and help with the house and kids. What if you work 2nd shift or whatever shift he doesnt work to keep daycare down is he going to have a huge issue with keeping the babies. My 5 are between 8 and 14 and i hear complaints nightly. 🤦mostly i have 6kids. Just married to the oldest. Like he tells me tonight kids didnt do chores right, (says the man with no chores because we tired that and he wont do them at all)ok well ill handle kids when we get up in the morning. Bedtime just went back to 730 like it was 2.5 yrs ago because apparently we arent growing up like i thought.

If he is insulting you and pressuring you to get a job without trying to understand where you are coming from I would evaluate the relationship and really consider if it’s a good relationship. The fact he doesn’t communicate on finances, and does help with the home maintenance also shows some issues. This sounds like a bad relationship. And that’s speaking as someone with anxiety, bmbb, married almost 8 years with 3 kids, and him being the sole provider atm.

Maybe he needs the help I don’t know the situation but I imagine he is going through stuff also. If I didn’t work I would go crazy on my days off I don’t get anything done depression and anxiety are real bad. Maybe seek help.

Hugs. Provide him with a costs of daycare and maid service for house if you had a job… and talk to doctor about SSI for your self… look into giving some time to church or to kids school to get out of house from time to time…

You need to see a doctor a nd get into a support system I wish you had gotten help before you rushed in and got married and had kids He needed to learn all about your condition My husband is bi polar and we have had lots of issues But he has a good support team

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Regardless of the topic or situation he should not insult you or disrespect you. Especially knowing your history etc. Sometimes the other person is more stressful than the overall situation. If this is your only main issue then decide what works and he should help with that. :hugs:

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Does he realize you’ll have to pay for daycare? Because, that isn’t cheap. I was a SAHM for 9 years, because of the cost of daycare.

To me it sounds like you want to work. But if I’m wrong then don’t work. Otherwise…
If manual labor is what you’re used to, it’s what I’d give another shot. You’ll likely be most comfortable with a job you are familiar with. If you’re looking for something where you don’t have to talk to people night shifts are an option at certain places in certain careers. I have generalized anxiety myself (not that all anxiety is the same, I can only tell you about me) and to avoid people I took a night shift job in security. I talk to a total of 4 people in 8 hours if I’m doing my job right (and no one needs esscorted). Of course with children so young this may not be an option you choose. I work while the children in my home sleep and I sleep while they at at school.
In the end it comes back to what you choose to do.

With a one and two year old, it’s going to be really expensive to put them in daycare. In the US, licensed daycares run like 300 a week or more per child so it’s probably more economical for you to stay home unless you too can earn almost as much as the hubby. Then, when the kids are old enough to go to school, then maybe you guys can revisit it. Plus, you need to focus more on your health so you can continue to be a good mommy. Enjoy your babies !

Fun experiment: I think you should ask him how many days he wants you to work and how many hours. Then on his days off “working people can think that you can clock off from adulting or parenting if they are not active” have a trial run, for as many weeks until he throws the towel in and go out for the length of time he expects you to work.
He can run house, the kids and pets. You make it look easy and so he might be under the illusion that you get all this “free time”. Not realising that you’re running on empty. Also, he can’t have it all ways, you can’t do everything that you do already if he’s not helping and also do the working too. So he will have to understand that by you also working, he also will have to be active at home. We would all love more money, it’s weighing up what’s in the best interest at all.

Have you thought about trying to lean into your anxiety? Trying to find something to steady it? If you don’t like talking to a lot of people, but want to make an impact on people, consider going to school to be an esthetician. You do a brief consultation, and you typically don’t talk much during a facial, lashes, microblading, etc. This would allow you your own schedule, your own income and would really let you pace yourself however you needed and wanted.

On a side note… I am so sorry for the PTSD, Manic depression and Anxiety order you’re facing. I’m faced with PTSD and anxiety, so I understand partly what you’re experiencing. Sending you lots of love and big hugs.

In my opinion before you do anything, make any decisions or changes you need to either find another doctor or continue changing medication and therapy until you find the right combination for you. I have been where you are and I know the toll it takes on a person, however there are different things that you can try like I previously stated that will make life easier and maintaining life possible. Once you have found the right balance for you living will become easier and only then should you look to solve other issues. God Bless you and best of luck.

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God bless you and give you enough courage to deal with life…keep visiting your doctor and counciling sessions…keep your mind occupied with some creative work…art is perfect to destress. If you dont feel like going fr a job …dont do it.

Imagine you worked outside the home. Who’s watching the kids? Daycare or in-home care? Factor in the cost. Will that cost, and the cost of gas and lunch to work outside the home eat up most of your paycheck?
Who’s making dinner every night? Who’s maintaining the house, doing the laundry, keeping the pantry stocked? If it’s you, then he must step up and take half of that burden off your shoulders. That must be discussed in-depth and sorted out before you work outside the home.
Bless you for dealing with your anxieties. I hope it works out for you.

Stay consistently involved with your mental health professional. You need that support. Research the price of daycare vs the income you could bring in and see if it will be worth it. Maybe you can split the difference by working part time from home. Hubby needs to understand your mental illness and how it affects your world. He would also need to help around the house and work the children if he also wants you to work.

Honestly a job might be good to. You need to get out of the house and have time that makes you feel worth while and a job is really good at that especially when it provides you with your own money. Find a part time job just 2 or 3 days a week to start out with. There are also tons of jobs that require little to no human interaction. One of the girls in my office works 3pm to 6. She just files and keeps to herself because that’s what she was looking for.

For one, child care will cost as much as you make. You’ll bring home $50-$75 a check depending on how much you would be making. Second, being a mother and keeping up with the house is more than a job. It is hard, stressful and taxing. Never ever feel guilty for that. Sit him down and work out a budget. Explain to him your concerns. If he is a dick, throw the whole man out :joy::wink: Just kidding… kinda. Communication is key with these situations.

Get a job tell him he has to spilt the house work and cooking etc 50/50 now give it a month and chances are he will change his mind he can’t expect you to work and still do all the stay at home mom chores. Not on :ok_hand: if he doesn’t then atleast you don’t have to do it all on your own and that will take alot of pressure and anxiety off you

I’m bipolar and it’s pretty bad but I’m on meds and see a psychiatrist and therapist, honestly I’m happiest when I’m working. It makes me feel good and distracts me from thinking too much.

Your babies are too young for you to go to work unless it’s absolutely necessary and your Mom or a trusted relative could watch them. Your husband should spend a day taking care of them by himself and making dinner too. Maybe you could get a part timejob while he is home, an evening job - maybe stocking in a super market. It would do you good to have some time around people who treat you with respect. You deserve it.

I did daycare for one child extra. It paid the groceries🤷🏻‍♀️ sometimes a job is not the answer if you wind up paying it all to daycare I saved us money by cooking from scratch, daycare, and a bit of crafting

Being a stay at home mom is a lot of work and i dont feel someone would understand us unless they were in our place and had to do what we do on top of there stuff. A wise friend told me if you are still feeling the same way come next year you"ll know your answer. Go somewhere where you feel at peace like the lake or beach a hicking trail or a bubble bath and some led candles and think about your happiness amd situation and your kids happiness your kids deserve a happy mommy and you deserve to be happy. Me personaly i am a big person on communication and trust with my husband we share everything , everything is always onthe table we dont hide anything and we know about each others accounts ect were we are partners a team you should feel like he has your back and you have his when it comes to it all as a family its tough taking care of 3 kids my self and my husband and the house its stressful yet you have your precious moments. If i didnt have any type of support and i did everything alone i miswell be alone and happy then always fighting sad and calling each other names. Everyone has there ups and downs but always a fight is not worth to stay. Step back breath sit down listen to your self. Only you can deside what to do no matter what any of us say good luck!

Just do something you enjoy and just ignore you husband.
My x use to do the same, he spent thousands on tattoo removal…
You kids are still young. It is important to be with them at that age, so if you can do something that involves them it is a hood idea.
When do husbands understand…

Omg. You sound like you have your hands full and are young.
First… don’t leave. He’s young too. If he’s spending too much, it’s a sign of being youthful and ignorant to growing old and needing money. He will learn. (If he’s abusive- get out)
Get a job as soon as your kids and finances will allow you, feeling accomplished isn’t just a job with big dollar signs but that you are apart of society and that you do, indeed matter.

Things will get better on the end of maturing but only you can better what you went through and handling yourself worth.
Your kids will be #1, I get that. But if you can’t make yourself #1 they won’t see themselves the same…
Start with a part time job to get yourself going and maybe one day you can have a career yourself.
Good luck either way.

Get yourself a certified emotional support dog. I think you working would maybe be a good thing. It’s scary in the biggining but after a while it gets easier. Keep taking your meds and believe in yourself.

Take this time to do online classes for a job you can do at home. Billing/ or something else like that.
That way you can help support your family without having to leave your house, if you’d prefer.
It would help build your confidence.

I think you should look at work from home jobs, there are quite a few out there and all you need is a laptop and phone. Work your own hours, so while everyone else is asleep you can work. Helps with high anxiety because the only people you deal with are own the computer or phone.

Honestly, the financial aspect alone screams it wont be worth it. Unless your labor experience is something that could also bring home 65k a year, your salary will only go to putting your 2 in childcare and the gas for you to get there and back. I second what so many have already said where if you have anxiety and BMDD to the extent it could keep you from getting a “normal” job you should qualify for disability as well which could relieve some strain financially

In the same boat you are. Except, my partner is the one who is more frugal with money. I sometimes feel worthless that I can’t help with providing. Eventually, I’ll need to get a job and I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it either. Haven’t had a job since 2004, the year I became a mom.
All I can say is you aren’t alone in your fears and anxiety and I wish you the best in whatever you do!

I am so sorry for what you’ve been thru. I cannot even imagine. You are so brave and strong for going on, getting married and having 2 kids. If I can only imagine myself in your place, I would probably start a couple therapy not as in to save your marriage but as in to help your husband understand what you go thru.

I think it’s okay to stay home while the kids are little. You are doing a great job keeping things together with taking care of the kids, cleaning house, cooking etc. The key is both of you need to work together and sacrifice. Was the tattoo really needed right now? Sit down with your husband and discuss your family’s priorities. It’s all about needs, not wants. Your children should come first. Take care of each other. Find something you feel comfortable doing. Your husband should support you, not argue with you. I truly hope things work out.

He is selfish. He is only thinking about his self . I also suffer everything you are talking about . I was a nurse for 20yrs. I felt everything the patient was feeling and I could not take it. I had to retire at the age of 51. I could not handle being at work. So my husband is ok with me being home. I have found a outlet with arts and crafts and I make money to support our living at least 1500 or more a month. If you need help let me know

I think if you got a part time job at first you would slowly start to feel better about yourself bc you would gain a sense of self outside of your home and that’s great for us mom’s.

Do the math ,its not worth it to work. Then write him a bill for all that you do and charge him for making him food, washing his clothes, taking care of His children, etc ect…if he can’t appreciate that he doesn’t deserve you!

You know if you leave, he would have to pay you alimony and child support. Maybe he should think about that. I wish you the best.

We don’t control other people ( unless they are our children ). Divorce says you don’t have to live like he demands. Search for Remote employment or look into self employed opportunities.

I hope you are in therapy. I am a mess as well for my own reasons but that hasn’t stopped me. I refuse to let my man drown!