TRIGGER WARNING: Self Harm Teens

My stepson 16.5 yrs old cutting this 3rd time that we know of ( he does it on his arms hard to hide ) we try therapy , therapist put him on meds for adhd , anxiety, depression, ..his mom think he also bipolar bc that what she is she know signs .. last Dec when I saw 1st cutting I beg him take the help try it for cpl months like 4 months, well it on and off 6 months then he just stop , this only cpl month after getting w his X gf and seem like his mental health got worse after that , I do admit that b4 cutting we didn't think he depressed due to what we thought depression was ( sad , sleeping alot ,crying alot) even know school said he was( parent failure we alway regret not listing to them)so that I believe went undiagnosed 3 years but I truly believe his cutting didn't start until after he got his X, they just broke up girl making his life hell sending their private messages around to ppl , turning ppl against him , yesterday we saw both arms cut up and cpl of cut deep , we all parents agree any more cuts then we r going 302 him we hate do that he doesn't want really get help and we all worry we all haven't ever dealt w cuter b4 or we all never cut so we r lost on how we can help him when he doesn't want help his self we all can't watch him 24 hrs a day so stop him from hurting his self we all agree one more cut that it ,I just want see any tips on how help him so don't turn cutting again and that force us put him in hospital I just heard bad things about kids go in hospital and hate parents for it , I just dont want him hurt his self or hate us for doing what we think best for him if come to us putting him in to hospital
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. TRIGGER WARNING: Self Harm Teens

Please don’t wait until one more cut. Seek out another therapist for him. Sometimes it takes seeing a few different ones until you find the right one to help. But please don’t wait. The sooner he gets the help he needs, the better.

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Self harming is also a sign of borderline personality disorder.
I know as I have it and I used to self harm to the point my left arm is totally scarred

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Tell his ex girlfriend to stop making contact with him. Banned her from having further communication with him. He is to block her messages. He needs help

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You need to 5150 him now. You need to get CPS involved, you need family and one on one counseling, no access to social media, no relationships, they are too young. Especially if they have mental health issues being addressed, you dont add girls into the mix. I hope and pray you seek help immediately. Do not wait until another cut appears. Dont fail him now when he needs you the most

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He’s making noise …sending lots of healing love his way. :green_heart:

You can’t be bipolar and have adhd. Adhd is a deficiency of dopamine and bipolar is too much dopamine. Bipolar medication takes away dopamine and as you know adhd medication gives dopamine. Just please be careful with medications.

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As someone who was very similar at that age I highly suggest getting him the help he needs now. Idk what 5150 is but if it has anything to do with getting him into a safe place, do it. Don’t wait. Cutting is usually the first step. Hide medications, anything like rope or belts. Keep taking him to counselling and honestly, I highly suggest counselling yourselves. Having a child who is dealing with a mental illness can be very difficult on the parents and you guys probably need support throughout this as well. Be kind to yourselves and try and be patient and understanding to your child. He obviously has no idea how to deal with his emotions in a way that isn’t harming himself at the moment. If he is mentally ready for it, maybe suggest getting him into a hobby and doing something he enjoys that brings him a little peace and happiness. Keep reminding him to use mindfullness techniques when he is struggling (ask his psych/councilor to teach him if they haven’t. Breath in through his nose, out through his mouth, tell him to focus on what he can see, hear, feel and smell and remind him that every emotion he is feeling will pass in time) Look into borderline personality disorder as well, bipolar and adhd sometimes get confused with BPD.

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I used to cut when I was a teenager, no one even cared to notice. I never got help for it, I did it because part of me wanted to die, I did it to feel physical pain to distract me from the mental pain of my life, I also probably did it for attention. Being in a hospital might make it worse in my opinion. I would find a new therapist , and get him into a healthy activity where he can build a relationship with another adult or kids. All I needed was to feel loved by a parent figure.

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Help him find other ways to feel in control find things he can do to take his mind off of things wen his thoughts get bad or wen he gets upset. Try coloring very loud music video games. My cousin cut was put into hospitals over 50 times none of that helped.

Y’all didn’t listen when the school tried to tell you. Maybe actually fucking listen to the professionals in his life, AND him. I don’t buy it’s just the ex because of your admitted neglect. What other areas are y’all looking the other way on? You didn’t set a good stage for the adults in his life here. Especially for those of us who cut as teens. Don’t blame just the ex and his mental health. Actually talk to him and listen to him instead of just assuming and cherry picking what you wish to be true.

Every person is different… What might work for others doesn’t always work for another.
When I was a teenager, I cut. I tried counseling, I was in a mental hospital, friends ripped from me, I talked to a lot of different resources and nothing worked for a long time. Finally I found some friends(my age) to talk to and told me something I can never forget… Can YOU fix the problem? If yes, fix it. If no, put it behind you. You can’t fix everything but you can help him realize that.

U can take him to the er and they will help with getting him help and keeping him safe and he will see a ohybdr and social worker.

He is deeply depressed, if his therapist isn’t helping him get him a new one

I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression,anxiety among other things but I also self harmed when I was a teen. I had a really hard time dealing with emotions/emotional pain, it was easier for me to cut myself and feel the physical pain. So when I would get overcome with just too much emotion I would harm myself and feel a instant relief of some sorts… it’s a hard thing to explain to someone who hasn’t gone through it. I now know after years of treatment and therapy how to handle everything but it took years to find the right medications. I will say my family pushing for me to get help and being supportive helped me alot so keep making him go to therapy please. I used to try and not take my medications to thinking I could handle it on my own… well I was wrong I ended up becoming a addict because I also turned to drugs to cope or numb myself. Please please keep fighting for him. Educate yourselves the best you can on his disorders as well. I’m praying for him and your family

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It doesn’t matter if he wants the help or not he is 16 you need to get him help anyways another therapist or he needs to go to mental hospital for awhile I know you don’t want to but you don’t want this to continue and you know it’s going to

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He isn’t going to hate you for taking him to the hospital! That is where he needs to be.
As someone who has been in a mental health crisis, please take the advise of myself and others and have him go to the hospital. Even if it’s against his will. One more cut might be the one that is too deep. And then you’ll have worse regret.

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My niece is a cutter
We discovered that she was being picked on at school
We had to hide all the knives , scissors and any other item that she could use
As well as looking through her bedroom
For things she had stashed
My suggestion would be to do the same as I did
Yes a lot of people will see it as invading their privacy
But sometimes as parents we need to do that
Also monitor all his social media sites in case he is being bullied on there from other kids that goes to his school
Teenagers as a rule won’t open up to us oldies about anything
Just encourage him to talk to you , another trusted adult or some one he trusts
And be there for him When he is ready to talk and admit he has a problem
Stay strong
He needs you and his dad

As a former cutter (self harmer) it’s an addiction just like a drug. It’s not simple for him to ask for help or quit. He needs to find a different out. He doesn’t know how to cope with emotions and cutting is a major release almost like a high. It literally releases endorphins. He needs to find a therapist that HE likes. Even if that means you have to take him to multiple places. And he needs a different kind of release whether it be through exercise, a sport, writing, collecting, etc. And give him a rubber band to keep on his wrist and pop it everytime he gets the urge… I started it at age 13… haven’t done it since age 17 but I still get urges when I’m overwhelmed and hurting and I’m 26. And you want to watch for other things because if he stops cutting he might search out other ways to self harm that aren’t as noticeable or that he even realizes that they are self harm. That’s why finding the right therapist is a HUGE deal. Goodluck and I’m sending positive vibes your way!

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Idk if this will help. It may seem crazy. My husband list his job due to injury and now he is disabled. He went thru a really bad depression and talked about suicide. We had lost our insurance,home and everything we worked for for the last 20 yrs. The new rental we moved to had a book called The Complete Book of Vitamins. I started reading it and discovered vitamins are medicine if used correctly. I talked about Niacin being used for bipolar and schizophrenia and it had cured them. Vitamin D3 is a natural antidepressant. So I started him on D3. The Dr had told me at his last appointment before we lost insurance he was really low. So I gave him 2 a day. After a month he stopped talking about suicide. After 2 months he started going outside and visiting his Mom that lived near by. He’s been in D fir 9 yrs now and has not been depressed at all. Please take him to check his vitamin levels. Do not out him on prescriptions. It could cause more physical harm and also cause even worse depression. Start going to church and getting him involved with a youth group. Trust me it will help. God will guide you to the right one. May God be with you. God bless.
Look into a natural remedies and a natural Dr.

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Ive never dealt with this in MY OWN child but i believe i was bipolar as a teen just not diagnosed yet. I would try as hard as possible to get him the right help before hes grown up/adulthood. I was fired from jobs for being loose cannon, jailed for awhile for bad decisions as young adult. Maybe he doesnt like current therapist, maybe a diff therapist would get through better. Prob try to at least reasearch hosps so if he needs to go to 1 you know where to send him. Sounds more like BPD. Borderlines are such torchered souls i would not take his things/phone he will prob not react well prob wont help/make worse. Their emotions physically hurt them sometimes. Maybe figure out how to check on his internet use/communication without taking it away from him, maybe someone is mean to him there. Def pick your battles dont fight unnecessary battles with him he needs trust/understanding. Hugs to you for being a step parent that cares

I’m a former cutter as Ive only been clean 4 years cutting is an addiction it allows for a sense of relief similar to that of a high. It gives the person control. Most people don’t realize that when you cut on your arms it’s a cry for help I never did I cut my ankles my thighs my stomach but never my arms. I didn’t want the help or judgement. You need to take him to get help because like most parents it goes unnoticed and your going to be burying your step son. Take him to a gym or teach him how to physically feel better it could be a diet change or a conversation. My mom stripped my room and I lived like I was in a hospital at home for almost a year before I found working out helped me. I’m not 22 and have a 4yr old child it’s the only thing that stopped me

U will have to make sure to hide all sharp objects, and honestly whether he wants it or not u are the parent and need to make the best decision for him …. Because unless he realizes it’s serious he will not stop, I dealt with my best friend in school being a cutter and it may of been unsafe but at 14 years old I walked up and took all her blades away from her and told her our friendship or the cutting and promised I’d be there whenever she needed to talk ( we are now 33 and still best friends more like sisters) u have to make sure u get him help

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Also another thing is you can give him rubber bands I believe if you Google self harm alternatives it’s a bracelet or something he can use to flick! Self harm isn’t always trying to die I know some people used it to feel even if it was pain they just wanted to feel something

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See if he would sign himself in before a 302.

Call an ambulance and have him admitted to a mental hospital

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I used to cut as a teen. I did it to release pain. Nothing else helped but I could cut and cry and feel better. What helped me was just having people to talk too. People that I didn’t feel like were judging every behavior and word. Just be there for him unconditionally :heart:

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To be honest in the hospital they will get him set up with the right meds and more evaluations…
Keep talking with him…
Because there is a difference in how someone wants to be when they’re SUICIDAL
Sometimes cutting just releases feelings…

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Best thing that my mom ever did for me was hospitalize me. I was there for 3 weeks. I was diagnosed bipolar1, depression, generalized anxiety disorder. While there we were able to determine what medication worked bed for me.

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You get to the judge have him sign a E.O.D (emergency order of detention)
Take pics of the cuts if he will let you just say incase infection cause you aint familiar with it on arms. ( my grandparents did this with me)
They’ll send an officer to pick him up incase he’s combative then yall get a restraining order on ex so he knows to stay away and she scared enough to stop bi polar is hard to diagnose I’m bi polar exspolsive & PTSD
try switching around meds

Thousands of people a year get tattoos, piercings, great big holes punched in their ears and that’s ok but when a person chooses to cut themselves everyone starts throwing around threats to have a cutter committed to the hospital like that person is sick in the head :roll_eyes: Keep taking him to the therapist but also talk to him about safety in cutting. Don’t go too deep, keep it clean, make sure the tetanus shots are up to date. If there is a commitment to be made to a hospital or treatment center let the cutter make the choice, not you.

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My 15 yo started cutting after she was sexually abused by her father when she was 12. It started after we split. I’ll admit, I’ve cut in the past but my kids aren’t aware of it so I understand the feelings behind it. We started therapy as soon as we found out about the abuse and she wanted to press charges so we did that as well. There wasn’t any evidence so it was a hard case to prove. Idk if that helped or hurt her more. We had trouble for 2 years trying to keep her from cutting. Trauma therapy, multiple hospitalizations, homebound, trial and error of multiple different medications, no bedroom door or privacy (per her therapist)…I didn’t care if she ever spoke to me again, she knew that if she cut I was sending her back to the hospital. The last 6 months we haven’t had any episodes. She is finally starting to heal and is properly medicated. She was initially diagnosed with depression, ptsd, and anxiety. She had now added bipolar depression to it. It wasn’t until she was medicated for that, that she finally started settling down. We now finally have a relationship and I can sleep soundly at night. Good luck, you got this momma. Give him lots of love. He needs it more than ever.

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I was a cutter my the meds my parents put me on literally 7 years of my life is blacked out from the meds I’m 29 from 7 to age 14/15 I’m missing part of my life like it’s blank. Music is what helped me. I’ve tried 3 different times the final time when I did cuti was 18 I found out I was pregnant and that moment changed me it wasn’t about me anymore. Now 10 years later I have a 10 and 2 yr old. Bullying was a huge part of why I did what I did

As a former cutter I will tell you you need to send him in somewhere where he cannot hurt himself. But at the same time sto reach out to him. Call him daily to reassure that you do love and care for him. Let his best friend know how to reach him if he asks (dont have to go into details) dont blame him being with his ex. It’s not her fault though it could be the trigger. Just blaming her would give it the ok for him to cut again if another relationship is failing.

He needs a mental health plan in place.
He needs someone to talk to about the pain that he is trying to release usually when people cut they don’t want to die they are trying to “feel” again something is obviously wrong and trauma isn’t being worked on.

If the cutting is that bad he needs professional help and needs non judgmental people around him that will help with wound care etc. But if he has said he wants to die or thinking about it emergency services need to be called because he’s high risk.

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He’s doing it to release the pain, and because it’s something that he can control and no one else can. You guys need to open your eyes to the fact that he needs help and should have gotten help before it got to this point. Get him help now. Do not wait.

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Don’t wait until “one more cut “ do it now. Bc that one more cut could be the last one

putting him in the hospital for long term is the best, unfortunately it won’t be the last. Sorry.

I was a cutter and went off food when I was a teenager around 15-17. From really bad bullying and not fitting in and then finding out I was 3/4 deaf at 13- which added to the not fitting in and the anger issues

But I was really into wanting to get tattoos “at the time my mother didn’t approve” and I wasn’t old enough.
Then I was told by a friend that it was harder to tattoo arms with scaring, especially since I wanted realism style sleeve.

I tried therapy but i didn’t click with my therapist which is such an important thing to do So my friend told me about another relief
And I turned to holding ice cubes with my barehands… still had that same mental effect of pain release… but doesn’t leave marks and my parents didn’t notice.
Eventually when my life started to come together I stopped
Sometimes the urge is still there to hold the cubes if I’m struggling but I haven’t done it for a while and I now have a beautiful sleeve to show for it.

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Sounds like he’s getting to get attention

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No one cuts themselves just because. You should first figure out why he’s cutting and solve that issue. I’m guessing the school passing around his text messages. Probably best to ask him if he wants to go to a different school and switch schools so he could start fresh if he does. But it could be other reasons too. Need to spend quality time with him too. Not just asking him questions but just hanging out with him and doing stuff he likes to do together. He needs a friend as well as a parent right now. Otherwise he’s going to find poor quality friends or continue cutting.

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As a child who cut….for me, it was never to unalive myself. Cutting releases endorphins and it helped me cope with a sexual assault. Mentally, it’s not much different than having a bad day and having a drink afterwards, it’s a type of release.

Agree that he would benefit from therapy and also an increased amount of support and understanding from you guys.

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Prayers for you and son hope to god he finds help

If he cuts take him to the dr.consistently.everytime deep or not.let them do their job.yours is to reach for help on this.

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I used to cut to…in many places, especially my thighs where it was less likely to be seen. It was to feel better, it helped with the inner pain. My life was also out of control, it felt like everyone controlled my life but me and that was one part of my life I could control as well as when I developed an eating disorder. If you feel he needs hospitalized, don’t wait for one more cut.

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First step is stop using the term “cutter”. Has anyone ( parents, siblings, friends etc) actually talked to him and made him feel comfortable enough to talk about his depression? If it comes to the hospital route he will most likely despise you at least at first. He needs to be offered a nonjudgmental, safe space where he actually feels comfortable enough to talk to someone.

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I used to be a cutter. My personal experience from yrs and yrs of counseling and please every case is different but I did it to feel anything I was so angry, and sad that I made myself numb. So once I hit that level I just wanted to feel again so I had started to cut. I know my counselor said there are things that can be done that release the same chemical in the brain I think it was dopamine my counselor said when there is an urge to cut take your arm up to the elbow get the biggest bowl put ice cold water in it use as many ice cubes that you can and put your arm up to the elbow in it for about 10mins it should release that same chemical in the brain. I have done it. I know personally for me it has worked but again every person is different. Also I know I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder which can also resemble bipolar disorder quite closely, so just possibly something to look into as well. Please feel free to message me privately if there are any questions I can answer for you. Or if there is anything I can explain. I would be glad to help if possible if I can.

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Is there any chance that someone has or is abusing him, that is one of the biggest signals

Ok my 13 year old daughter went through this. Her therapist said it’s an unhealthy coping mechanism but she’s not trying to commit suicide and does not need to be hospitalized. She just needs to learn healthy coping mechanisms

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Why wait and have him committed when he does it again?? He’s going to do it again if you don’t get him help now. Like, you really think he’s just gonna stop without any medical intervention??? Why are you setting him up to be committed?? Get him out patient help NOW

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Poor kid is screaming for help. Literally tearing himself apart throwing out cries for help and your more or less like CRY LOUDER AND HARDER and only then will we do the bare min and pass you off to help you instead of putting in any effort and work beforehand

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I would ask him if changing school and numbers would be okay for him. If he’s ex is spreading it things around schools it can trigger depression or make it worse.

Let him decide though don’t make the choice for him or force him too. Also let him pick the school.

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I just went through this with my 13 year old daughter. I talked to the school counselor when I found notes and letters, tik tok saved videos of her doing & saying things. The counselor brought her down and had her do an assessment. She then followed up with me within an hour and told me it would be in her best interest to go to the hospital. They talked to her about the reasons for cutting and how we could help her. I know it’s hard as a parent. I didn’t want to leave her there and cried for the whole time she was there. She’s been home a week now, and it’s still hard at home. They have gotten her into a day treatment program that runs m-f 8am-2pm. I know she’s frustrated as she will miss her friends, but also know if I can help her anyway that I’m going to do it no matter what. I’m here if you want to talk. You can inbox me anytime. I hope you find some kind of answers from this post.

I was a self harmer.
Put a rubber band on his arm and have him pop it every time he feels the want to do that. It causes the same pain of cutting but its a safe route.
Have him work out. It releases a “happy” chemical in the brain so he wont want to do that after a workout.
Be his friend. Tell him to come to you and talk about his problems and do not go blabbering his business to anyone else.
Make sure its not to get someone’s attention (ex gf, best friend, parent, teacher,etc)
Take sharp objects away from him and find something else for him to clear his mind. (Paint, music, read, movie)
Give him mental health days. Let him stay home once a month from school and take him out.
Let him know he is loved and appreciated as well…
But most importantly, ask him what he needs. Try to find the root of this behavior and squash it. If he needs help, help him.
If he needs to vent, let him,
If he needs to scream, scream with him.
I understand what its like and i was alone through it and i wish i just had someone to talk to and spend time with and was shown love and appreciation.
Im 23 now and i havent hurt myself in 6 years because i know theres a life for me to live.

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Cutting isn’t always about depression and suicide. Former cutter and I used it as a way to feel pain. My counselors tried to insist I was suicidal and made everything alot worse. I finally convinced my parents I needed an outlet and they enrolled me in kick boxing. It let me get the emotional pain out while safely hurting myself. See if theirs a physical activity he would like to try.

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As someone who has personally struggled with this putting him in the hospital will most likely make him feel more alone. It’s a way to cope and escape the pain he’s internalizing. Try your best to remind him he’s not alone even if it feels that way without overwhelming him and making him feel like a burden. Things like just checking to make sure he’s okay or complimenting him on the tasks he accomplished no matter how small can make a big difference

I hate too tell you this but since you told him that he will cut on legs or where you can’t see.my neice was a cutter and was hospitalized for it. She is now a nurse with her first child.

Not a cutter but suicidal ideation with other factors. Cutting is not considered a suicidal threat. But either way, he could end up dead. You are the parent, you make the decisions. Yes he may be angry. Talk it out or family counseling after hospitalization. You can only do your best Rest is up to him. Keep him safe

Cutting is a pain you can control. It also gives you an endorphin high. It feels good and releases stress and tension. Stopping cutting really is similar to quitting drugs, it’s hard ASF and you have “withdrawal” symptoms. Give him as many choices and ways to feel a little control over his life. That coupled with ways to cope. Buy him a pack of rubber bands to flick his wrists and arms with. It really does help take the edge off.

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Locking him up is not going to stop him from cutting. Locking him up is not going to make him better. You said yourself “parent failure” well STOP THAT! Stop failing him right now and be there for him instead of throwing him away. Period.

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I will say that if he is bipolar, being on antidepressants will make it much worse

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Katina Harvey advice?

I was a cutter. I did it to see the pain physically. Often my pain was so unbareable but it was invisible.
Some good things to google are crisis management skills. DBT SKILLS from Marsha Linehan.
Crisis management helps with the overwhelming feelings and the DBT skills help recognise and name your feelings.
Ice or cold water in a clip lock bag placed on your eyes and hold your breath for 20-60seconds. It tricks your body into thinking it’s deep sea diving and it relaxes and slows everything down.

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While the first thought many parents and doctors alike have, is depression, that’s not always the case. If he’s cutting, but overall seems like a “normal” or “happy” kid, I’d further investigate the possibility of anxiety and other mental health issues. I myself dealt with cutting on and off for years. I didn’t do it because I was depressed or wanted to kill or even hurt myself. My reasoning was for coping…it was also a way of being in control for me. If I was feeling overwhelmed or upset, cutting would help me release what was bottled inside and actually make me feel better…ugh if that makes sense. You may want to see about a day program vs inpatient. Ive done both and inpatient made things worse. He will need an outlet for his feelings other than to cut. For some it’s music or journaling, poetry, nature walks, etc. Something that can calm the storm he’s feeling inside. Have you spoken to him and asked why he does it?

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I am a former cutter myself. For me it was because I could handle physical pain better than I could the emotional pain/struggle. Be there for him regardless. Maybe he doesn’t know how to handle the emotional pain as well as he does physical. Maybe he needs to feel like he has a safe person he can let everything out to. Be a listening ear. Ask him what he needs from all of his parents. Ask him the best way for you all to help him and show him that you are all there for him.

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I was a self harmer for many years as a young teen, started when I was 13 didn’t stop till prob 16, I attempted suicide many time’s. I was hospitalized once over it that’s when the doctors diagnosed me with SAD(seasonal affective disorder) I cut my entire body up. I started just cause the feelings I was having, it was a way for me to feel almost real, almost a way to bring out the hard feelings I was having. I had problems with bully’s a lot, and just my own trauma from childhood and I never found a good outlet for it. I started getting into drawing and as I got older I started getting piercings cause it was pain I was still feeling but it was healthy. It took me a long time to get threw the feelings but when I started finding healthy habits to replace my cutting it got easier then at 18 I started doing tattoos on myself, I still got depression and mood swings during the winter months cause seasonal affective disorder happens when my body doesn’t get enough vitamin D and when seasons change. But I am now 22 with 2 kids and I certified tattoo and piercer, the tattooing and piercings I have done still helps me when I’m having my off days or off weeks. It’s a healthy way I can show and feel in my body and mind that makes me be able to feel those bad feelings but do it in a healthy way. The hospital and therapists weren’t something that I found helped me, so I began doing things in my own life that helped me turn all those horrible feelings into something beautiful. My opinion is trying to find him stuff to do that help him with all of those emotions. It took my a long time and it was a hard road but it does get easier and better believe me❤️ sending love to that young boy he’s struggling but I hope he finds the strength within him to fight and realize he’s here for a reason, he just needs a little extra help that’s all❤️

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Something happened to him. Some form of trauma. Therapy is great if the therapist actually gets to the root of the trauma and doesn’t try to be their friend. Spend time with him. Pay attention to what he is and isn’t saying. I went through this with my daughter. She has made it to adulthood and has a great therapist now that actually got to the root issues and is finally healing her inside. She no longer cuts and has made a complete change in her life.

Sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder (NOT Bipolar) to me. Please seek help. Unfortunately, he will not get better until he is ready.

If he is cutting, the only goal is ease his pain and suffering. The pain of cutting helps him FEEL anything other than numb. The pain of cutting can dull the emotional pain he’s feeling.

Please see if you can find a psychiatrist to assess him for BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

The single best thing you can do for him is to validate his feelings.

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You need to do something now one cut is one cut too many so why wait for another? Hospitalize him. What else can you do? Sounds like you’ve tried everything else. I wouldn’t wait for another cut I’d hospitalize if that’s my only choice and I wouldn’t care if my child hated me as a parent it’s my job to see to their well-being and if my kids didnt hate me at least once before they were grown than I wasn’t doing my job. Both my children are grown and they both been through some extreme things my daughter expecially with her Mental Health but they’re happy healthy adults now they may not have liked me when they were younger for making choices that were in their best interest for their health and well-being and i was even told I was hated at least once by both. But all that tells me is I was doing the job I was meant to do. And today I have two grown happy and healthy children living their best adult lives

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My daughter is 14 she was diagnosed ADHD at age 6 & was diagnosed bipolar a few months ago. She has similar behaviors, even with meds is hard to control her mood swings. She has a whole team of therapist, doctors , therapeutic mentors etc. i learned to call crisis every time she has an episode or i see some cutting. After a few times she stopped it. She doesn’t like to deal with crisis when they come. I also enrolled her in anger management classes & support groups for teens experiencing mental health issues.

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I would make sure the cuts are ok and not infected, they get an updated tetanus and talk with his mental health professionals about different medications and types of therapy.

Try therapy without the prescriptions. Sometimes those make it a million times worse. Just find a therapist who will actually make him feel heard and don’t point blame at his relationships it’ll just make him act out more. Speaking as a former cutter myself. Good luck❤

The hospital willl only help to regulate medicine if they don’t take it properly, other than that people in mental health facilities are often placed with others that make their situation more dismal or don’t really receive the help or attention they need because there are so many they only want to give drugs and make them sleep at night so they stay out of your hair and don’t bother you. Something this serious needs his family to rally around not to be shipped off if he is not a danger to others

My son had severe issues… self harming, hurting others and laundry list of other things. We put him in a facility for a while and they taught him coping skills. He was diagnosed with bipolar type 1. He didn’t particularly like staying in the facility, but in the long scope of things he is way better now. He’s been home for almost a year now after spending 9 months there. The people that work their are specially trained to deal with those types of issues and get to the root of the problem. Ultimately it’s going to be on him on whether or not he wants the help. That’s the way it was with my son. He fought the treatment at first, but then once he realized he wasn’t going to get better and come home until he started working with them- he changed… for the better. Everyone’s experience is different and like you I heard some pretty awful things about those kinds of facilities… my advice- do your research. I hope things get better.