I’m so terribly sorry for your loss! 
Down the road when there’s been a bit more time to heal, I would start doing things to honor your child’s father in ways that he will live on in memory. If he was a fisherman, take him fishing. If he loved sports, teach him. If he liked to fix things, help your son learn about tools.
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First off my condolences and secondly do what you feel is right and being mama you know him best, you got this 
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Winston’s wish is a charity for children who have lost their parents Winston’s Wish - giving hope to grieving children - so sorry you’re going through this xx
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I was 12 when my mom’s fiance committed suicide. He was like a father to us, he helped raise us. I watched my mom go through the grieving process as well as my oen process I had to deal with myself. You’re going to be broken for a while and then you’re going to hate him for doing this right up until you can forgive him for letting go.
I never went for the necessary counseling, but I would advise that you and your son start, it will help you both a lot. Specially your son, it will help him understand better and help with the trauma this can cause.
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Everybody deals with death differently. The best you can do is go through the stages but always move forward not letting the death take you down with it.
You need to grieve its early days it takes time. This is not a fast process.
Talk to childs school they usually are great at helping and supporting.
Your childs only 5, they may benefit from art therapy or play therapy given how young they r.
Explain what heaven is and how daddy may not be here now but his always watching you from above.
If your struggling get some councilling going some grievance groups and support in place.
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This book worked for my littles when my dad passed maybe you could get a copy. Sorry for your loss
The Tenth Good Thing About Barney The Tenth Good Thing About Barney - Google Search
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Im so sorry for your loss 
please please get therapy/counselling for your little one at least. this will affect him more than you realise x sending lots of love and hugs to you both
Sending love, light and lots of prayers.
Sending virtual hugs to you & your Son! I can’t imagine… you’ve been given great advice by so many other caring people on this post that I just want to say I’ve said a Prayer 
for you Both:heart:
You embrace the good memories and have compassion in your heart for someone who was very sad inside. You learn about suicide and make a difference in their name … you never let their memory disappear as they really didn’t want to go they wanted the pain to go …
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. *Trigger Warning* The father of my child committed suicide: How do my child and I cope? - Mamas Uncut
Just take all the time you need to heal. It could be months, years, you might never fully heal but don’t let anyone rush you. Don’t hold back tears because you don’t want someone to see or you feel like you have cried too much, just let yourself and let your boy grieve the way you both need to. don’t be afraid to speak to someone. I found myself speaking my feelings out loud to myself when I lost a close loved one, having the comfort in knowing they heard every word I said.
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I wouldn’t share how until he was older. I think him knowing that daddy is no longer here physically anymore is enough on a young child. I’d leave it open for any questions he may have but keep answers short and simple. It will be hard for a while buy in time the pain will ease up. I’m sorry for your and your child’s loss.
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Just love your baby! Explain in terms he can understand and don’t deviate from what you’ve already told him! As for you, there’s not much I can say except feel your pain, and know you couldn’t have done anything to save him if he was at that point! I’m so sorry for your loss! 
Please seek professional counseling for you and your child! Social media is not the answer. My heart breaks for you both! 
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Sending you love. I lost my brother and recently my father to Suicide. I am so sorry for your loss. It’s a hard journey but I’d suggest seeking professional help- especially with the young age of your son. It will be much easier on you both to have some guidance on handling your feelings❤️
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My daughters both lost there father (from drug abuse, which they don’t know!!). The simplest way to explain is that he is always watching him and it wasn’t his fault. He is better now! Just because your son can’t see him doesn’t mean he isn’t watching him. It’s what I tell my daughters every time they ask, also share with him all the great memories that you have with him it definitely helps!!
I am sooo sorry for your loss….I am praying for you and your son. My friend went thru this easter 2020…. She waited a few days to tell her small children too. She didn’t want to forever ruin that holiday and she had to process everything herself. You didn’t lie to your son, mental illness that leads to suicide is the definition of being sick and no longer on this earth. Lean on any friends or family you may have and just take life one moment at a time.
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I lost my dad to suicide. Hugs for you and your son. I do advise some type of counselor.
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So very sorry for your loss take the time you need to heal let him know he is loved and that dad loved him also and get him and yourself some counseling
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They have a few books on Amazon, that can help explain to a child, at that age
I am a child of a parent who died by suicide. I was young and do not remember my Dad. My family told me he was sick and died. When I was 13, I found his suicide notes and have been forever traumatized by learning this information by myself. Please keep a close tab on your child and make a good judgment on when they are ready to know the truth. It is so much better to hear it from you than to learn it all alone and have to decipher those feelings all on their own.
My heart goes out to you and your family
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Losing the father of your children is the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life (4 years ago). You don’t really have a right way to do it. You just do what is best for you and baby. Find a friend that you can lean on: reach for them and then lean hard. I never would be where I am today without my bestie. If you ever need a chat: im able to be a judgement free ear.
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If your son likes to read or be read to i highly recommend books on death (age appropriate), check your local library or call your hospital information desk and ask about book/recommendations to help out.
A doctor in our family got us a book last year for my 5 year old when my father died unexpectedly. It helped tremendously! (The darn thing made me cry real ugly tho).
Most of all, be real with him, cry and show your emotions so he knows that its okay to show emotions, and let him process.
The day I told my son, we all sat down, and I told him that grampy died, and that we would no longer be able to see him. He looked like he was going to cry, then he stood up and said nope, I’m done. He needed time to process on his own. This past year I have done my best to answer all his questions.
Also, I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you love and positive thoughts.
I am so sorry for your loss but I wouldn’t tell him the way his daddy passed until he’s older the way you told him right now was good I mean your son is only 5 right now.
The father of my oldest two did the same thing in 2008. I explained that Daddy had a sickness that you couldn’t see and that he died from it. I have always explained it that way to them as they have grown up. My son is now 22 and my daughter is 16. It’s an ongoing conversation that just never really ends.
Therapy. I can not stress this enough. It is a must. I’m praying for you both. I know you need it right now. One day at a time. If that is too much take it hour by hour, minute by minute. Just get through each time segment the best you can. You’ve got this! I believe in you. Sending love!
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No advice. Just sending my condolences. 
Im so very sorry. I heard there are age appropriate books u can read to him…they are gentle and he will understand
My mum told us the truth, that dad took his life & was very unwell in his mind. He was always always sad and in pain with his back, and he couldn’t handle it anymore. She got us into immediate counselling, I still speak about the event to this day with my psychologist which will be 20 years on 4th July , but talking definetly helps.
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So sorry for your loss😢
I highly recommend looking into group therapies and summer camps for kids with deceased parents. My dad didn’t commit suicide but he did pass when I was 8years old and those groups and camps helped me cope and understand my feelings so much especially with other children who knew exactly how I was feeling.
I’m so so sorry for your loss.
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Counseling babe. Counseling for both
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I was 9 when my dad died in a car accident. My mom just flat out told me and just went the only way she knew how. It didnt really bother me just my grades slipped. Hes 5 so it may just take a while 4 it 2 completely set in. Lean on those around u for comfort and advice. I know it will be hard but only time can heal a broken heart.
I reccomend age appropriate books/readings that reference the passing of a loved one, therapy, and ensure to very very strongly express that your child needs to ALWAYS speak up if they are feeling anything less than happy. My condolences to you and your family. 
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You might NOT NEVER heal completely, but just keep asking GOD to give more strength than yesterday!! SOOOOOO SORRY for your loss MAY GOD be with you and your son, AMEN AMEN
My dad committed suicide when I was 8, parents were divorced, mom told us the same thing, dad was very sick. My mom took us to counseling. Later on mom told us the truth. Tell him truth when he old enough it would be terrible to find out otherwise… or like I did… my mom and older sister were talking about it in the car and I overheard and said wait what and my sister laughed in my face because I didn’t know. For now though him being so young just keep saying he was sick. Later on when I did find out truth I questioned asking her I thought you said he was sick and she said yes he was sick in the head… my dad was a very abusive drunk. all my memories of him are bad.
If it’s alcohol or drugs related Alanon can help.
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We were honest and got him into therapy.
Therapy, professionals can help both of you grieve, and cope in the healthiest way possible! This is too much to handle on your own!
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Seek professional help. Talk to his pediatrician. And I’m so sorry for your loss
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keep his fathers family involved in his life. You need the support of something normal. I had 3 children to raise, 4,6, and 8 years old.
Therapy has this of stigma to it, but it’s so so good for anyone and everyone.
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I am profoundly sorry. God Bless you and your son
Im so deeply sorry that your going through this! I know they are no words i send you prayers to keep strong and for your baby 
Get him into therapy to process his emotions. I was 21 when my dad died the same way. I cant imagine if I was only 5. Praying for you momma I’m so sorry your going through this.
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So this happened to me, except I was the child. My mother committed suicide when I was 10. It was never discussed, for a long time she wasn’t even mentioned. So from the child’s point of view, please please please talk to your son about what happened. When he gets older and is able to understand more, revisit the conversation with him. Talk openly and frankly (but age appropriately of course) about what happened and how he feels about what happened. Counseling may be beneficial for him. Reach out to your support system. You need to show him how to grieve. It took me 17 years to fully move past my mom’s death because it was all swept under the rug. Cry, share stories, let him know that it’s ok to feel sad and miss his dad and whatever else he is or will feel. If you want to talk to someone, feel free to pm me. I’m sending you thoughts and prayers
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Mama reach out to health professionals like his pediatrician and get to therapy both of you and keep dads family involved as much as you can. Grieve and talk about it don’t bottle anything up. Therapy will be of great help mama remember the good times as much as possible and just love on each other. Bless you and your son I will say a prayer for y’all
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I’m sorry this has happened. I hope the best for you and your son.
That’s devastating, sorry for you and your son’s loss. Allow yourself to feel, to grieve, and allow your son the same opportunity. Talk to him about how he feels as well. Let him know it’s ok to feel however he does feel and that your hear for him. Check in on his feeling often.
So sorry to hear this happened to you. My advice would simply be, being honest with yourself and knowing there was nothing you could’ve done. Sounds cliche, but to those that have been through something similar (myself included) we have all blamed ourselves a little for it or thought we could’ve done more. I know this is Anonymous. But if the OP ever needs someone to talk to who knows how they may be feeling, I’m here
My dad passed away almost a year ago (I’m an adult though) but I write my dad letters whenever I need to. He was a grandad to my daughter who was almost 6 when he passed, and she still gets so upset about it but I’m going to get her to do the same thing soon. It might not help much but it helps me cope when I feel like I’m loosing it.
So very sorry for both of you. 
If you are on any type of state assistance give them a call, they will guide you both through this. You will feel numb for a bit, then it will hit you in waves. And little one will not understand for awhile, patience is important with him because he will forget and then remember. And he will still talk about his daddy alot especially if he was a huge part of his life. Let him, join him in sharing positive memories together about dad. I know it’s going to hurt. I know it hurts now. Lean on dad’s family, because they will understand your feelings more than anyone (outside of therapy). I will be praying for you and everyone involved.
Remember it’s OK to be sad and mourn! It’s natural. Be open and honest with your son. Answer any questions and if you don’t have the answer figure it out together. Find your support system and lean on them… Shit fall into them!! Let them help. My heart breaks for your family. Sending prayers and strength to you and yours xo
It is a hard time and a sad time for you both, please keep moving forward, do not stop, keep mentioning how Dad would of been so pleased with his boy. Am thinking of you.
Bree White I think you could help this mumma
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My sister died when my boy was 3. He was very close to her. I told him what happened. I told the school who were also really helpful in the situation. My son often asks to go to the grave so he can talk to her and sometimes he wants me to stand away from him while he does this. We used to blow a kiss to the moon each night as he associated the moon with her. Answer any questions openly and still mention their name and things they would of liked. I tried counselling but it wasn’t for me. We still celebrate her birthday with a cake. But take each days as it comes, don’t put too much pressure on yourself, you will get through it and you may find you need your boys hugs more than he does at times. Sending love to you both x
I lost my partner last year unexpectedly to suicide… he left behind me and my 2 year old (wasn’t bio dad but raised my daughter with me since she was tiny.) And then I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks later.
Im still learning how to cope, unfortunately some days are better than others. But the one main thing is to take your time… baby steps, if you don’t want to go out one day, don’t. Just breathe and take small steps and celebrate the small things you’re managing to do.
When my partner died I would drop my bub off at daycare, go home and sleep, my house was a mess I just couldn’t function at all. I was an absolute wreck. It takes time to “be ok” and even then you’ll never be “fully ok” because there’s still so many unanswered questions, what ifs… things will randomly trigger you and its ok to cry, it’s ok to scream and most of all it’s OKAY to be mad AT HIM!
As for your child, personal experience I explained to my little one that unfortunately her daddy’s brain hurt and that unfortunately he decided this world wasn’t for him, but in no way shape or form was it anybodys fault, he just wanted to fly and be free and that it was okay to cry, and then I’d constantly remind her how much he loved me and her, and how lucky we are because we have such an amazing guardian angel watching over us, we’d go see him (still do) at the cemetery, I talk to her about him all the time and I also have told her that when she looks up at the night sky (he loved space and always got her excited to see the moon and stars) that when she looked up, she had to look for the biggest brightest star and wave because that was him, looking over us and being an amazing angel!
I in regards to medical side, seeing someone does help. Also there is alot of support groups out there they are wonderful! But don’t push yourself.
Poster If you would like to chat, feel free to message me any time, I’ll help as much as possible!
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My dad committed suicide when I was 6… still remember it vividly… back then it was shameful & nobody really talked about it… that is not good, for someone to get through the trauma of something so horrific it needs to be talked about & talking about thoughts & feelings helps everyone to better understand… I spent many years thinking it was my fault - that I didn’t love him enough to make him stay… the older I got I realised that his demons were just too big to let him stay… nowadays there is more understanding of mental health & better support for those left behind… suicide ends that persons suffering but can pass that suffering onto those left behind… get therapy for your son as soon as you start seeing the signs that he is struggling, same goes for you xx
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. *Trigger Warning* The father of my child committed suicide: How do my child and I cope? - Mamas Uncut
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Please find a great therapist to talk with. Your son too. He might be too young to understand suicide, but one day he will understand and will need to know how to cope.
His dad was sick. No one in their right mind wants to die. To make that decision, the person is not thinking clearly. Mental illness is real.
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I’m trying to find the same answers. My son in laws father did the same thing on Father’s Day. All 5 of his kids are devastated. Ranging in ages from 13-24
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I think you did right by telling him. Kids do not completely understand…death is never coming back. My friend of 30 years passed in nov and left behind 2 twin 6 yr old girls. Let me say this… Go to counseling. Let him have a safe place to talk about his own feelings without you. And also with you. Celebrate dad as much as possible. Keeping it age appropriate thru the years to help him understand. Im so sorry for both of you. You got this momma. I promise. Day at a time. Prayers for you
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Counseling. Go to counseling, both of you!
The father of my firstborn committed suicide and the father of my next 2 children survived a attempted suicide via gun.
All you can really do is allow yourself and your child to unpack some grief for a short while and then teach your child what it looks like to pack up again and move forward doing your best.
You both need good support. Friends, family, therapy.
This day and how it feels will be with you forever but your coping skills will strengthen over time.
I’m so very sorry for your loss and pain. It’s natural to grieve, just dont get stuck there.
Take care of yourself and you child.
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Please pm me….
My daughters father took his life 11 years ago, she was 1. It’ll definitely take time to adjust and cope. Make sure you’re putting forth effort so youre able to be there for your child. I was heavily medicated for a year. My daughter at 11 still only knows daddy was sick mentally and died as a result.
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So sorry.I think you said what was true - needed.Grief counseling.
I think you did good telling him what you did, hes to little to take all the real truth, but as he gets older, I’d definitely have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him the truth on what really happened with his daddy!!!
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Therapy and your Bible momma! Allow him to feel all the feelings! My dad passed when I was young and my mom made me feel like I couldn’t have any feelings about it….caused a lot of self destruction!
Therapy for yourself and speak to his pediatrician for guidance, sending hugs
Counseling ASAP.MY CONDOLENCES MANY BLESSINGS TO ALL THAT ARE AFFECTED BY THIS TRAGIC SITUATION .
Pray. God will help you both through this:heart:
I was 4 when my Dad dies of cancer. I highly suggest you take him to a counselor. I wish I had that opportunity. I grew up so broken and in such pain. Please please, take him. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s ok if your son sees you sad or cry but also make sure he sees you get better. Again, I beg you to see a therapist, this is so important because a child will always blame themselves for them ‘leaving’. Much love and hugs to you both.
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Please reach out to a counselor and get help for the both of you
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I cannot offer any guidance from experience. But I can offer my condolences and prayers. I think you did the right thing by telling him that “daddy got sick and isn’t here anymore”, kids aren’t stupid and pick up on things very easily. But I do think the reality of the situation is too much for him at that age and I would save it for an age where he can truly grasp it. As parents, we have to grieve in ways that still allow us to be there for our children. He will need you now more than ever before. Make a picture collage, scrapbook, or daddy doll, something that allows him to remember and love him. Do extra activities that keep you both moving forward. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Please reach out to a counselor or family member and don’t go through this alone. 
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I’m so sorry for your loss and your son’s, when I lost my father councilors helped, through our local hospice as well, reach out to your local hospice, they may be able to help or point you in the right direction. I had to explain to my little boys why their grandfather passed away as well, I hope you have family and friends to lean on for support as well💜 I wish you and your son the best.
Turn to the Lord & Saviour. Allow some time with you & the kids. Keep pics, videos… anything that keeps his spirit & presence around. A friend of mine recently did the same thing. Just Pray. God bless.-XO
James Dobson may have some great books or help to offer. I’ve used his books for young children thst have lost a lived one.
My son did it and left behind a6 year old boy. We have not told him. I don’t believe his mother has either.
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I’m praying for you and your son
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Your son will qualify for death disability from social security so contact their office as soon as you can.
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Just know that it’s not your fault. And find a place where you and your son can express your feelings. 
Good job Momma! So sorry for you and your son’s loss.
Counseling will help. Bless you & your son 
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So sorry for your loss
May God comfort both of you. So sorry
What does this have to do with halloween
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. *Trigger Warning* The father of my child committed suicide: How do my child and I cope? - Mamas Uncut
My dad committed suicide my first day of my senior year in high school. I would make this a conversation about mental health. Him and you will feel all the emotions for a long time. You both will feel extreme guilt and need to be gentle with each other. It will be hard for a long time and it will get better.
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Suicide is something I just can’t wrap my head around. I lost 2 uncles this way. Therapy for sure. Make sure you and your child keep a VERY open line of communication. Allow him to express himself freely. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. This one truly hurts my heart!
I am so sorry this happened to you and your baby.
I can’t speak too directly from experience per say, but rather my husband (10 or 11 at time approximately) and his sister (5 or 6?) had their dad pass away similarly. So I have only witnessed the aftermath of how their mom helped them process it, and I highly recommend therapy / counseling, so you have an outside support person to help explain things to them. 
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I lost a parent to suicide in my 20s and it was gut wrenching. My heart goes out to you. Definitely dont do the what if I did this or said this game, you would not have changed their mind. It’s an extremely difficult thing to comprehend and go through and I suggest support groups so you dont feel so alone. Therapy to work through trauma. And just keep honoring their life the best way you can. Hugs
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My sons father/ my ex husband did the same when my son was 6. There is no way your son is able to comprehend what happened or understand what suicide entails mentally. I told my son his father was sick and couldn’t get better and died. My son is 11 now, and while he still doesn’t know the details, when he asks I share more and more information. When he is emotionally mature enough, then there will be an appropriate time to discuss further, and my son deserves that conversation, but only when the time is right.
Remember when a child is 5, losing a dog or a goldfish can be as traumatic as losing a parent. Don’t give too much information that he’s not going to understand, and don’t be surprised if he seems “over it” quickly, he’s not processing death the same as an adult.
It’s also a good idea to get him into some counseling now. After a few sessions the therapist may say he’s well adjusted and probably doesn’t need it at this time. As long as he sees you as his security right now, he will be okay.
As far as for you, get counseling. It’s never easy when someone you care about passes away, let alone end their own life. I struggled with anger and guilt because, even though we were divorced, we co parented well and you hope for your child to have access to another healthy parent. While I was glad we were not longer together, it’s hard knowing someone who was once close to you had such internal struggles.
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This is such a hard thing. I could not even imagine. My best advice would be to focus on your son. Do not blame yourself for anything that happened, and try not to push it off on your son right now. He’s still very young and may not be able to process most of it right now, just be prepared to answer his questions one day, when he’s ready. It will not be easy but you will both pull each other through it. So sorry for you and your baby’s loss.
Be sure to seek professional advice. There may be support groups of people who have gone through what you are going through that can guide you as they have dealt with it directly and may have ideas of what helped them cope. I’m so sorry you guys are going through this. Sending prayers🙏🏻 to you and the rest of his friends and family
sad to say I been through the same thing. my kids were 14 & 12 at the time. first thing is…it wasn’t your fault he did what he did. don’t try to figure out why either. you will drive yourself insane. still talk to him about with your son. good times, fun times. when he starts to have questions… answer best you can and age appropriate. one piece of advice… if possible try to find as many videos of him as possible, especially of him speaking. my kids are now 28 and soon to be 26 and they both say they can remember what he looked liked but can’t remember his voice
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If you have a mutual friend with him or family,besides your son,hang out and focus on the good times. It’s gonna hurt foever,but you get used to it.The pain gets less sharp when you share it.Good luck.
My sister died by suicide (9 years ago this Friday). Her son was 3 and a half. She didn’t tell us why, all she left was a note saying she wanted me to have her son. We opted not to tell him how she died. Just that she had passed. When he would ask how, we just told him we would talk about it when I felt he could handle it. He overheard my mom talking about it last year and we had to explain how she died. He actually took it really well, especially when we said that her last act was to make sure he was taken care of. Suicide is hard to explain to a child. You know your child best and all I can say is that you will know when they can handle the full story. My condolences to you and your child.
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Look into grief counseling for both you and your son. Most hospitals provide it. Good luck.
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