Was I in the wrong for telling my uncle his wife was cheating?

My uncle (blood relation) is a great man. A great husband and father to his kids. His wife and I are close as she has been in my life since I was 4. She recently confided in me and told me she had been seeing someone. She told me this only because she was sad that he didn’t want to see her anymore & she was very upset over it. She says she loves my uncle but she needs more. She likes attention from guys. I promised her I wouldn’t say anything. It ate at me for 6 days… I mean terribly ate at me. I decided to tell my brother who is best friends with my uncle. I told him I couldn’t handle it anymore as my uncle was calling me everyday crying suspecting something. I told my brother to please break the news to him as I just couldn’t. He told my uncle and it devastated him but he was so thankful to know & also know that he wasn’t crazy to suspect all this. My aunt texted me that she hated me and I’ve ruined their marriage. She said if I would have told her I was struggling that she would have confessed. My uncle said he asked her if she would have ever told him and she said no she would not. I feel sick about all of this and would like an opinion if I am completely in the wrong? I did apologize to her only by saying “I am so sorry that I left you feel comfortable enough to confined in me about this”. Which I am.

366 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Was I in the wrong for telling my uncle his wife was cheating?

Nope not wrong at all. If she was a decent person she wouldnt have stepped out anyways. Who knows how long it would have went on. She only said something cuz she was tossed.

7 Likes

Nah that’s on her - she shouldn’t have put you in that position

7 Likes

You didn’t ruin her marriage she did

21 Likes

No he deserved to know. She sounded like she would have done it again with another guy soon. People don’t lie to people they love. Don’t let her blame your for her mistakes.

9 Likes

You did the right thing :heart:

4 Likes

Telling your uncle was the right thing to do

6 Likes

She ruined the marriage, not you. This is not her fault for being a crappy person. You did the right thing

12 Likes

No hon thats not your fault and shame on her for doing sonethimg so awful and putting that on your shoulders . You did the right thing brush it off thats your uncle and she clearly didnt feel bad at all thats all on her and by the way SHE ruined the marriage

3 Likes

Don’t let her allow to make you feel bad about doing the right thing! She knew what she was doing. She knew it was wrong and she STILL did it. So it’s on her not anybody else :heart:

4 Likes

She ruined her own marriage and it wasnt fair or right of her to ask you to keep that a secret sense he is your uncle… she is 1000% in the wrong- she can hate you all she wants but she did this to herself

10 Likes

Shame on your aunt for involving you in the deception of your uncle. If she was feeling some sort of way, she should have spoke to her husband. I suspect she needed to let someone know that someone else found her desirable, that person should not have been you. If the truth came out she wanted someone besides her skank self to blame

You did nothing wrong. She’s ruining a good man. She shouldn’t of put that pressure on you. Has no one to blame but herself

6 Likes

You’re definitely not the one that ruined their marriage

3 Likes

You did the right thing. She would have nothing to be mad about if she didn’t cheat.

5 Likes

I don’t think you’re in the wrong. I would want to know if it was my spouse. But unless you came at me with some proof I would probably not do much with your tip 

1 Like

You did NOTHING wrong and didn’t ruin thier marriage SHE did. Don’t apologize to her for anything she was in the wrong. If you wouldn’t of told that would if been wrong.

3 Likes

You didn’t ruin their marriage… She did. Don’t let her make you feel bad. She is the only one with something to be sorry for

7 Likes

Nope don’t feel bad for telling … apparently you have a better conscious then her

4 Likes

She obviously knew that it would eventually get back to him. You did nothing wrong that’s on her and her only.

4 Likes

Her fault all hers for being a cheating hoe, family over everything

5 Likes

I woulda done the same

3 Likes

Sooner or later he would know. Things like this can’t stay hidden.

2 Likes

She ruined it not you

4 Likes

Omg She is in the wrong, NOT you!!! It’s not your fault she cheated and kept it from him. Hugs. Apparently she is a POS for hating you. She should be hating herself. Sorry she put you in this situation. I would avoid her from now on. NOT COOL OF HER to treat you this way. After all he’s your uncle. Blood before you know!.

2 Likes

She ruined her own marriage!

3 Likes

Why did she really confide In you knowing your loyalty was to your uncle. That’s the real question :thinking:

5 Likes

You didn’t do anything wrong. She ruined her own marriage by not staying faithful.

7 Likes

Your aunt is trash. He deserved to know

You aren’t wrong.She’s the one who split the marriage up.Not you.

4 Likes

She ruined her own marriage. You are not wrong for outing the adulterous actions.

4 Likes

Nope. This is on her not you. SHE cheated !

3 Likes

Nope your not wrong. Who started this. It’s SHE and she’s the one who s upset cause she knew she screwed up. U did right thing. So don’t worry about her. U did right thing. Just block her number.

3 Likes

Nope your not wrong. Who started this. It’s SHE and she’s the one who s upset cause she knew she screwed up. U did right thing. So don’t worry about her. U did right thing. Just block her number.

3 Likes

Well actually she ruined her marriage. I may have told her that’s something I couldn’t keep secret but maybe she told you so that it would come out.

2 Likes

He probably knew. I wouldn’t say anything.

2 Likes

The aunt is only shifting blame to make herself feel better. She shouldn’t have put you in that situation. Its entirely her fault. She ruined her own marriage when she chose to cheat.

4 Likes

Whether you were right or wrong is hardly the point here. SHE was wrong and should have no feelings other than guilt and remorse!!

10 Likes

You didn’t ruin her marriage, she did. You were most definitely not wrong. Put yourself in your uncles shoes. If you were him, you’d want someone to tell you if your partner was cheating on you. You did the right thing.

9 Likes

She’s going to blame you so she’s not in the “hotseat”, you did the right thing in my opinion

4 Likes

Blood is blood auntie hoe

2 Likes

She is the one in the wrong, not you!!

You did the right thing .

1 Like

She sounds like a classic cheater! Blaming everyone except herself when the truth comes to light, and then trying to play the victim!

7 Likes

She ruined u fucking marriage fuck her ur uncle will find a woman who genuinely loves him now

You did NOTHING wrong Doll and I would of done the same… Blood over any and everything especially if they are a good soul…

1 Like

If it were me, I’d have said “you tell him or I will”

And let them work it out.

10 Likes

She ruined her own marriage not you you did the right thing

7 Likes

I personally wouldn’t have said anything SIMPLY because I’ve done it before, and it put me in the middle of the drama. Being the one to know and or tell the truth about something that doesn’t actually have anything to do with you, makes you look like a shit starter. Even though you’re 100% not trying to be. It’s not necessarily your business. However, she shouldn’t have told you, knowing that your loyalty was ultimately to your uncle. If she’s not going to continue to be in your life, and your uncle is, and your uncle is cool with you, brush that shit off. She ruined her own relationship, not you.

You weren’t wrong, she should have never put you in that place, you didn’t need to be in the middle. Sorry this happened.

2 Likes

She is just placing her blame on you. You were completely in the right. That is your uncle. She is only your aunt by marriage. You owe honesty and sympathy to him, not her!

6 Likes

I kinda feel like she told you in the hopes that you would actually tell your uncle so she didn’t have to, kind of like her way of getting out but without her technically ending it… almost like she “remains” the victim…not sure if I’m making sense but now she is acting angry at you to keep up the facade

1 Like

She wrecked the marriage not you

4 Likes

It was her that cheated and put their marriage in jeopardy. Not you.

2 Likes

Classic narcissistic behavior, “this was your fault, you did this”, no you’re not the one who was unfaithful and I’m sure if it was the other way around she would have wanted you to tell her. If she would have kept her legs closed she would still have a husband and family. Now she lost the guy she was cheating with and her husband as well as the respect of their children and the rest of your family. Karma is a beautiful thing. As for you, do not feel guilty. Like I said if she would have kept her legs closed there would be nothing for you to tell your uncle to “ruin their marriage”.

6 Likes

Honestly yeah u were in the wrong u promised u would not say something and u did and two it’s not your marriage to even worry about so yeah no one can trust u with any type of anything

5 Likes

You didn’t ruin her marriage she did. Don’t worry about her. If you had been your uncle would have wanted to know?

3 Likes

Deflecting the blame onto you is a classic trick pulled. She’s upset she lost her side piece while your uncle lost his marriage to HER actions. You did the right thing.

2 Likes

I hate when others blame others on their wrong doing. she ruined her marriage by cheating. not you. what a jerk.

3 Likes

Mmm I don’t think you are in the wrong. I know if I was in the position your uncle is in, I’d want someone to tell me too. Your aunt sounds like she just doesn’t want to hold herself accountable by saying she would’ve confessed if she would’ve known you were struggling. It shouldn’t take anyone struggling with that kind of news for the other person to confess to their partner. I wouldn’t even apologize further than what you did or anything else going forward. You did what you felt was right.

1 Like

I for one am glad that you did it, cheating is cheating and she said she would’ve never actually told him, so I think you did him a favor after all you are family I guess it would be another story if he was an asshole but that doesn’t seem to be the case, she just seems to crave attention, more than your uncle could give and that is a sad thing, I once went out with a woman who was bored because all her husband did was work and Play with the kids on weekends and that she found him to be too boring? I immediately broke it off with her and I even told her that she had a good man who provided for her and loved her and that she should just leave him, he would’ve been better off but I guess she continued her game and that’s just not right to me.

You did the right thing

2 Likes

That was a low blow of your aunt. She knew you were close to your uncle and she told you this. She just wanted someone else to suffer with her. She had so much guilt that she wanted to drag others down. To say that you ruined their marriage is a lie. She did. She is to blame. You did nothing wrong. It wasn’t your secret to tell but you didn’t do anything wrong. Just give your uncle support right now.

4 Likes

Your her scapegoat! She did all of this to herself.

3 Likes

You’re not in the wrong. She was.

1 Like

I’m not gonna sugar coat it it’s ur fault for saying something when it wasn’t your business to do so

7 Likes

Snitch. :laughing: jk. Honestly it isn’t your business to run and tell. Chances are he already knew.

4 Likes

She has known you since you were a child. You are not her therapist, her friend, or even a peer. She never should have put you in that position and you shouldn’t feel bad for doing the right thing.

7 Likes

She was the one who ruined the marriage in the first place by cheating. She feels bad for it and trying to put the blame on someone else.

5 Likes

You should not feel sorry for her. She ruined her own marriage. In addition she put you in an awful position. Your uncle deserved the truth. She is only mad now because everyone knows she was cheating on your uncle.

13 Likes

Maybe you shouldn’t have told, but in NO way is it your fault HER marriage is broken!
Do NOT let her manipulate you any further.

2 Likes

She ruined her marriage, not you. You did the right thing but telling him. He deserved to know in case she brought something home and gave it to him. She’s the asshole for putting it on you.

She ruined a good man…marriage

4 Likes

I would personally done exactly what you did

3 Likes

YOU didn’t ruin her marraige… SHE ruined her marraige… not only was she incredibly selfish to cheat on her husband, but extremely selfish to put that insanely heavy burden on your shoulders of knowing, but not being allowed to say anything… In my opinion, she was ready for it to come out amd thats why she told you… she knew you’d have to say something… and by telling you and having you break the news, she didn’t have to do the dirty work herself & now she has someone else to blame for her failing marraige… she is trash… screw her… tell your uncle to hit me up… :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye::joy: im jk…

Hell no, good on you, I hope your uncle is ok, and you have nothing to be sorry for.
Put yourself in your uncles shoes… if you were being cheated on… would you want to be told.
You done the right thing :100:
Cheatus deleteus

3 Likes

She ruined her marriage… no one else it’s all her …you did the right thing

2 Likes

Don’t let her guilt you for being a decent person. She didn’t want anyone to know, she should have kept it to herself. Common sense would tell her your loyalty lies with your uncle. You did not ruin their marriage by any means, she is the one that broke her vows. Also if you hadn’t of spoke up & it came out that you knew, that would of ruined your relationship with your uncle.

5 Likes

She ruined it herself, do not feel the blame is on you. I would of done exact same

1 Like

For her to say you ruined her marriage, that woman is full of shit. She ruined it the moment she let another man get close to her. She jeopardized her own marriage. Like you said, your uncle was already suspecting of it. I’m glad you came forward, you did the right thing. Fuck how she feels, it’s about being there for your uncle.

She’s sorry she got caught. You did the right thing. You didn’t ruin her marriage, she took care of that all by herself.

4 Likes

This is not your burden or responsibility. She must know how close you and your uncle are. It seems to me that she probably knew you would tell him. It’s easier for you to tell him than for her to. She’s using you as a middleman. Please do not feel guilty for being truthful. 6 days of eating you up is more than enough. You have no secrets to keep anymore. You are free of the weight this put on you. You did everything right. My best to you.

1 Like

You definitely did not ruin their marriage, it appears it had already been Rocky for quite a while now. (For various reasons) Only you did was she didn’t: communicate and reveal the truth. You did the right thing. You gotta keep reminding yourself she is only upset with you because her actions have been revealed , she ain’t sorry for what she did only that she got caught .

Oh honey. She should’ve never put you in that situation to begin with. You did nothing wrong.

1 Like

You did the right thing.

She is the one who cheated. Not fair she told you this and expected you to keep it secret. If it’s a secret, it’s wrong.

2 Likes

I ruined your marriage! first off don’t leave stuff at my door, I carry heavy loads too, and another , you do know , that I love my uncle .
You ruined your own marriage, and then tried to ruin me with this , eating at my soul secret,

It’s like this if she honestly didn’t want him to know she should’ve kept it to herself and not told her husband’s family of all ppl. The fact she cheated was mistake enuff but it was sheer stupidity to tell someone…at least ur intentions were good and not purposely trying to mess things up like many do…clear ur conscious u did the right thing…she’s just reacting the way a cheater does when they’re busted

4 Likes

No you are not wrong and she ruined her marriage not you! She must have known deep down you would find a way to tell him. It’s not fair for her to throw that huge burden in your lap. Blood is always thicker than water.

3 Likes

She ruined her marriage, not you. You did the right thing!

4 Likes

I truly don’t know what I would have done even though that is really against my morals since I’m very spiritual I think I would let anyone know not to tell me things if they don’t want them repeated because I talk a lot and I do have a tendency to spill the beans because I’m honest as well so I don’t like to hold on to secrets and something like that I wouldn’t want to know about it

I know it was hard to tell him and it put you in the middle of their problem, don’t let her gaslight you and make you feel bad, she did this to her marriage , she should have been woman enough to have said something to her husband when she felt she was missing something in the marriage

2 Likes

Too bad for her. She did it. These things never end well and always come out in the end. Feel sorry for your Uncle. He is your blood relation and will need all support after her ruining their marriage.

You were in an awful spot. Your uncle needed to know the truth. She told him she would never have let him know. But he had a right to know. If she’s not satisfied with the attention of her husband and needs attention from other men, she has no business being married. Your uncle sounds like a nice guy. He didn’t deserve to be treated like that. You did the right thing.

1 Like

You did the right thing. You didn’t commit the actions you just couldn’t let it eat at you

3 Likes

Sweetheart she is in the wrong she should not have put the blame on u your uncle sounds like a amazing guy her loss not yours wish u all the best x

2 Likes

u did right thing 100 percent

You told to make yourself feel better. You were wrong. A couple times…as soon as she mentioned infidelity you should have stopped her and said she had the end of the day to tell your uncle or you would and not listen to the rest of that gossip.

None of what you’ve done is about loyalty or what’s in the best interest of anyone but yourself.

5 Likes

You’ve done nothing wrong. NOTHING. She should’ve been a woman.

1 Like