They probably didnāt tell you because they didnāt want it to be known. Which unfortunately is common even though itās important information. I would not have any contact with himā¦ for any reason. The fact that you said he shows favoritism to your son would be enough for me to not associate with him. I would avoid him at family events, or maybe not even go. Thatās a hard situation, but itās your child & you need to protect him
PLEASE get your children some counseling and let the counselor know what information you found out! I would also call CPS! I can almost bet that the boy has conditions to his release! He probably isnāt supposed to be around minor children and his mom should be in trouble too! ESPECIALLY because she knows already!!! Wtf! I am sure your husband will fully support you in not EVER allowing him around your children and if not, too damn bad!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. We just found out that a stepbrother to my husband is a sex offender - Mamas Uncut
Cut everyone off that supports/protects him. They donāt care about your son or they would have protected him.
Oh this makes me angry to read,Iād never talk to my mother in law ever again,your kids come first and she didnāt put your boys first,people who protect predators are no better then the predator themselves!!!
You need to sit down and have a talk with your children and explain good touch, bad touch and see if they will tell you anything !
Our number 1 job as mothers is to protect our children. I would stay away from all of them.
To hell with everyone that kept it a secret! Donāt go to shit, have it at your own house if you want family gatherings. No protecting feelings when it comes to your children. I thought we stop protecting these sick ass people! Smh you should be pissed.
If heās a sex offender what are his conditions ? I bet heās been breaking them. Report it. If family is mad I wouldnāt give a f^xk 
Good news is you know and you want to do something about it.
Now comes you needing to cut them all off. Because they supported him. If you didnāt find out and ask no one would of told you. Thatās protecting the predator and putting your children at risk of being victims.
Youāll probably also end up with the usual route of ābut heās familyā and your in laws still wanting him around your kids.
They all go. Because you donāt know if this was learnt behaviour.
Donāt worry about family going family gatherings any more because if they are going you shouldnāt.
If they cared about your kids they would have informed you and made sure he wasnāt around. You donāt know how long they knew and if he was around since they knew.
Also teach kiddos about no no areas and correct names for all parts. And that thereās never allowed to be secrets and who their safe people are who they can tell anything to.
Do not go where he is. Just because family invites you doesnāt mean you should go.
The family obviously doesnāt care about your boys. To hell with themā¦ You have every right to be upset. Sadly this has happened in my family, and a lot of my cousins got molested from this family member, but my parents never took me around them and I never had to deal with thatā¦ Prayers for your family
I know itās young, but since the issue has come up, just talk to your children about good touch and bad touchā¦ and i asked my daughter when I bathed her if it was OK if I helped her wash down there. I donāt call my kids parts cute names like some parents call it a cookieā¦ my step mom called it a tutu or a haha and the boys were a hehe. I tell my daughter lady bits so itās not clinical but itās also clear what sheās trying to say if she has to tell a teacher or someone in authorityā¦ my boys are 12 and 11 now but when they were younger I had the same talk with them.
When you had children you should have been told. Personally id never be taking my children anywhere near any of them again.
I would be angry I wasnāt told too. However I can see the parents side too. They probably donāt believe the accusations. As a parent it has to be hard to tell people your child has done or has been accused of something so awful. My children would never be around him again. Watch for signs of abuse. Talk to their Dr.
Wow. Your mother is a jerk. She should of said something. You should keep your kids away from that side of the family.
I have a similar issue, not a relative of mine, just want that clear. I mean my relatives are nasty horrible ppl at times but they are not like that. But one of my kids is related to a person who has a believable accusation against him. I have told them that he is allowed near my kids when they have tired of life. Otherwise stay the hell away from my family. The punishment I would give is to high just to come near my family. Tell them you do not want your kids near him,and if they honestly cared about the children in the family the kids come first. The adult had a choice and he made his.
If he turns up you leave ā¦ if he is there you leave ā¦ make the family awear that if he is there you and your family will not.
I donāt think I would cut everyone off (unless your husband wants to) if you cut everyone off itās just going to hurt your husband, And you could be pushing him to choose and that makes things hard and not his fault and the kids will never know their family. If there are family events I would find out if the āoffenderāis going to be there before I went. I would also get the whole story and find out was he prosecuted why was he prosecuted and what were the circumstances. When they say younger boys do they mean like 15 or they mean like five? I supervise sex offenders for 10 years they were out on parole and I am a police officer, And sometimes things are not always what they seem or what people say they are so do your homework
Hard NO! This makes my blood boil!!!
There is no cure for pedophiles. Donāt let anyone tell you different. Thereās VERY VERY rarely a misunderstanding. Donāt let them feed you excuses. There is NO excuse that is justified. Sounds like he was grooming. 
Theyāre enabling a monster. Putting your children and countless others at risk for abuse and the life long battle that comes with it.
Iād tell them all, you and your children wonāt be coming around because of this. Iād also throw in how disgusting they are!
Good touch, bad touch, proper names of privates. Iād also be telling them they shouldnāt be around that uncle. Never!
This is what these sickos do. They make it so the people around them wouldnāt believe what theyāve done. Theyāre manipulative to a T.
Heās only 16 nowā¦ has anyone checked to make sure HE was not abused as a young child.
No one told you because they āthinkā well he would never hurt family. 
. Second depending on he has to register then legal he canāt be at places that knowing has kids attending. So if he shows up while you are there with your kids I would let him know that I know and if I saw him talking to my kids I would gut him like a fish. And I know you said the boys but you really need to keep an eye on the girl too. Sometimes they go after girls as wellā¦
As mothers we are supposed to protect our children. I would talk to my children and explain where theyāre not supposed to be touched at and tell them if ever someone touches/ touched them the wrong way that they can tell you or their father
I hope your stepbrother is seeking treatment, he is so young.
As for your kids, YOU decide who gets to spend time with them.
It would be a firm no, with zero exceptions.
Make your own family activities, and if your invited to other family gatherings, first thing Iād ask if heāll be thereāif he is, you donāt go. Iād have a serious conversation with your MIL on how betrayed you feel that this info was kept from you and your husband.
Best of luck. 
Protect your babies AT ALL COST. And if the family canāt understand that, if it was me, Iād have no family 
he shouldnāt be invited if thereās kids around point blank!!!
So if the ex-Police are the ones who told your Husband, chances are that there is a Court Order for the SB not to be around Children below a certain age. (16?)
It can be found online if he is registered.
I am so sorry youāre going through this!! That should have never been kept from you but about the future family gatheringsā¦itās simple. If he is there donāt go and if yāall have something at your house he is uninvited! Who cares how anyone feels about it that stepbrother is not safe to be around your children and you are there to protect them at all costs!
Thatās definitely something that the family should have been made aware of and you have every right to be upset! With that said, itās not the entire familyās fault for what heās done (just those that have concealed his actions). I would just suggest that if you choose to still attend family functions where the brother-in-law is there, you keep an extra close eye on your children and donāt let them alone with him at all, ever. None of them. Just because he has preferred boys in the past, doesnāt exclude any daughters from a perceived threat.
I wouldnāt be attending any getring heās apart of.
Iāve literally missed weddings I was supposed to be in because a man who molested my family members was going to be there (itās a relativeās dad). Your kids come first above everyone else and their feelings. The fact that no one felt the need to tell you is super upsetting and Iād be mad and worried too. Now you know and you can protect your kids but I agree with previous comments Iād make sure to have the talk with them just so their aware of whatās appropriate and whatās not.
At 16 he is still a minor which means his records are sealed which also means the ex cop could go to jail for telling u that info. Second the 16 yr old is not in jail it sounds like which would means the actuation is just that. I still wouldnt let my kids be alone with him however Iād go easy on ur mother in law shes obviously dealing with a lot. She doesnāt just have to think about u and ur kids but she needs to think about the 16 yr old KID as wellā¦Im sure she is doing her best!!
Instead of wondering and worrying ask your sons if anything has happened
What the hell is wrong with your MIL???She should of sat you, your husband and any other family member down and told any other family members down and told yāall!!! SMH!!! The 16 yo needs some serious HELP!!! Shame on grandma!!! People get real!
This is so disheartening and I truly feel for any child or parent of a child going through thisš unfortunately you should just go ahead and have the children evaluated just in case. And if anything has happened make sure the children understand that you are aware and acknowledge they are the victim and itās not their fault. I was a victim of similar circumstances and literally nothing will stop them from doing what they want to do. Whether you thought back to think āwere they ever alone?ā People like that donāt have to be alone they will do things in plain sight. I know from experience. And if it is not addressed properly then the family will keep just doing what they are doing. And your children will be forced to be around people who accept the fact that he is a pedophile and itās almost like saying itās okay by letting him come around like nothing has happened. THAT MY DEAR MAMA IS HOW YOU DONT FIX GENERATIONAL ISSUES. By staying quiet. MAKE EVERYONE AWARE of who he is, and strongly suggest that if he isnāt already the pedo goes to therapy because I can guarantee you if heās that young then someone definitely did it to him too. Who knows if there is another pedo running around that you donāt know about in the family. Im sorry that my delivery is very rough around the edges but being a victim of multiple offenders airing the room and talking about it IS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP IT. I know you may want to shelter the children but even if nothing happened they need to know that talking about it is okay. Because sometimes no matter how much you tell your children to say if someone touches them inappropriately or says inappropriate things to tell you, but fun fact they probably donāt know what grooming looks like or that the hug with the weird touch was for. Unless you talk to them. Sending you lots of love and if your husband has any issues standing up to his family(just in case) show him these responses!
If be is there leaveā¦do not put ur kids a situation u might get hurt
Because it would be embarrassing. Donāt you knowā¦ The people who protect him think heās more important than the children heās traumatizing. Itās good youāre angry. Your should be!
Your obligation is to your children and what keeps them safe. You have every right to keep them away unapologetically.
Keep your kids away from him and let your husband know where you stand about it. 16 is not a small child who doesnāt know the difference between right and wrong. He should be in a residential facility locked up somewhere. Definitely talk to your kids to make sure they havenāt been touched inappropriately. Also teach them how to defend themselves if anyone ever tries to touch them in that way.
Keep your kids close!! Itās a well known fact that child abusers are usually someone close to you and your family? Donāt let your guard down around him. Please!!! From experienceā¦donāt ever give him the benefit of a doubt!!
So young tells me it happened to him as wellā¦ what about the step father? I mean a 16 year old doesnāt decide to just one day do those things. Something triggered it. 
and makes me wonder what the whole story is. I am a not jump to conclusions type of person until I know hard facts. Sounds like you need to do some digging. Iāve been in a situation where someone stated things and I went an found out myself. Confronted the person and asked and unfortunately it was a lie because the mother of the 16 year old didnāt want her dating a 19 year oldā¦ my suggestion is find out the full truth yourself! If he did it there has to be some kind of paper trail
As someone who has gone through the same thing the best thing you can do is not leave your kids unsupervised while over there. This also includes not allowing sleepovers over there. You will need to watch them closely while over there. It will get tiring but the kids safety of course comes first.
I have a family whoās a registered sex offender. I found out through a news article Facebook. I have 2 girls and heās on the list for girls. Sad part is, it was his girlfriends girls! So i said hell naw he wont ever see my babies! Your job as a mother is protect your babies at all cost. I hurt some feelings but i dont care, my babies are far more important than his feelings.
He shouldnāt be around children. Keep your children away from him
they didnāt tell you because they donāt believe it, and families hide sick things.
He didnāt have to be alone. He could have been sitting on his lap. Peds are super sneaky.
Also that ped was supposed to notify you and depending on his p.o not even supposed to be near any children.
The entire family is to be blamed and I personally at this point would NOT trust anyone that is close to the ped around your child (the ped most likely became a ped because he was offended)
Talk to your children immediately
definitely take your kids to a therapist asap.and also is he on the registry? if so he canāt be near any children. even at family events.
Too whom said his records are sealed they are not to the family at his age.
You need to find out how far he needs to be away from kids.
But I wouldnāt allow them around him period 16 or not heās horrible
The point is, he is on the registry for a reason and that says alot. So no, I would not let my children around him. Period!
I wouldnāt bring my kids around him ever again.
If he is on the sex offender listā¦he is not allowed to be around kidsā¦that is a violation .
If it means cutting off the entire family, do so. They obviously didnāt care about the safety of your children.
Stop going to family functions if he is going to be there. They donāt seem to care which is terrible. You have to protect your babies even if it means cutting out family.
Keep your kids away. Ask the older ones as gently as possible if anything has happened. And id personally go no contact with whoever thought it was a good idea to not tell you.
Sorry but the brother shouldnāt be invited to any family event, if your husbands mother is any kind of a grandmother she would make sure he doesnāt show up and if he does he needs to be asked to leave IMMEDIATELY. He made these choices, so thereās naturally going to be consequences. Any adult in their life needs to make an effort to ensure they are safe at any family event!
Cutting out him and the family would be the least of my concerns. Imagine if something did happen your children would be ruined for life and so would you. Itās true and he knows better than to be around any children. Donāt let your children become a statistic you will never forgive yourself.
A couple of ex cops, thatās interestingā¦
Ask your son if anything has ever happened
Start your own new traditions at home
You can invite whoever you want and make it clear those who arenāt welcome. Or you can simply keep it as you your husband and kids!
He would be banned from coming over at any family events and if his mother gets mad then she will be also for not informing anyone of his crimes.
Oh these mother in laws are a piece of work!!! To say the least. Cut all ties and pray he didnāt touch yours!! In laws only care about there own!! Remember that!
You could not attend any functions where he might come. Or if you do just never let your kids be alone with him. Donāt send them anywhere without you guys where he could show up. Tell the family you donāt feel comfortable having him around your kids.
Why would thr family still invite to family functions?! Thatās outrageous, Iād cut the whole family off if he is still invited to them.
Ask your boy if anyone ms hands, face, or private parts have been near His face, hands or privates. Ask if anyone or thing has ever touched his butt and made it hurt?
State that he is to come get help if anyone ever tryās to do that!
Protect your own at all costs no matter who it may upset. Thatās general rule #1 for having kids.
This is why one is never to leave a child alone with anyone! Not even anyone someone youāld think you could trust. So if there is a family event and he will be there make it known he is not allowed alone with the children and youāll have to make an extra effort to know where they are at all times. Although, like I said I wouldnāt let anyone be alone with a child for any length of time because we never truly know about anyone. And outside of a family event I would never bring the children around him on a visit just because you are now informed and can make a better judgement and youāve already witnessed grooming.
I would be so angry at the mother for not telling you guys ! I would cut them off, including her !!! She put your kids in danger by keeping it a secret
If you feel something in your gut donāt push it away. I am a surviver of just what you are explainingā¦donāt let him near your kidsā¦ Ever not even with you all around them tooā¦just keep him away completelyā¦ if a family gatherings include him refuse to go and state why.
Geta couple of bikers to have a ātalkā make sure he is not at family gatherings because of all the kids not just yours
Isnāt it illegal for him to be around any children? Pretty sure if heās been charged heās not allowed to be around children at all.
As a mother of a s** assault survivor, I recommend staying away from any family that didnt inform you of this. They put your children in danger knowing that he has a history of touching children. I kept my daughter away form her dadās family because they stood by her uncle that assaulted her. They called the cops and cops and made a ton of false claims to try to take my kids away. Luckily for me the claims were not even slightly close to true.
How come no one has reported him. Iām asking because he should be banned from being around children.
I had a great uncle who eevvveeerrryyooonnneeee knew molested me for a long time as a child. It was up to me to stay away from him. He attended every family function and I was told to get over it. He even visited our house once and was given my room to sleep in while I had to sleep on the floor in my parents room. Iām really glad to see a mother giving a damn and fighting for her kids please donāt ever put your son in a position where he has to protect himself
If they still invite him to family functions Iād just cut them all off. Iād ask Your kid if he touched him anywhere
Hes a step brother no relation to your husband or kids so for him to be at family functions is only because of his mother and if I was you I would confront him and tell him what you know and make it absolutely clear to him you are not to come to our home ever again Or near my kids if you do im willing to go to jail
Is no one seeing that this is a child himself. Heās 16. Just donāt leave him alone at all with the kidās. Heās still a child himself and needs to learn.
Watch your kids thats your piority
First talk to step brother politely and no judgement. Tell him he must always be with people when with your children. That is for his safety well as children Then follow the same rule. Yes it happened but do you know the whole story.
First and foremost, have a talk to your kiddos one by one. Donāt plant people or ideas in their heads, just ask of anyone has ever touched them and then if they were made to touch anyone else. It helps to have a doll close to show āinappropriateā places. Once you get that squared away, I would say cut ties, they put your babies in danger, no go for me.
Make absolutely no allowances for any sex offenders. If the family does then cut them out and tell them why . If they choose a sex offender over your familyās safety then good riddance. I have had to do this and yes it sucks but people need to break the cycle and stop allowing sex offenders feelings matter more the kids .
To the op, you canāt relive every time as it will just make you insane! Be proactive from now on! Watch your babies behavior and stay vigilant and do not go to family functions with him thereā¦ what if he did already do something your kid will have to face him no matter how hard you work to make sure they are not alone!
Invite everyone but him to your house or cut off everyone. And tell the cops u didnāt know that he was one n he was around ur children. He can get in trouble for not telling yāall. Also if you feel the need ask dhs to look into it bc heās a minor and usually when minors have that kind of offense against them dhs is involved in it if they arenāt then getting involved so step brother can get mental help for even doing that kind of shit
Youāre childrenās safety should always come before family or friends. Heās a predator now and always. Never allow your children with him or anyone that still allows him in their life. If their morals are so low theyād allow a predator around them, they wonāt protect your children against him when he makes his move on them and theyād probably protect him instead of your children. Those people are not moral enough to be allowed to stay in your life or your childrenās.
Need more info to offer honest advice I have too many questionsā¦he is 16 how long ago did this happen? Was this 16 yr old a small child when he done this is he a victim himself? Was he an older child when he done this? If he was a smaller child when he done this did someone get help for him? I once had a 5 yr old male family member play inappropriately with a younger family member which of course raised red flags and eventually brought a monster to light and was able to get this child help. Either way keep your babies close, go with your momma instincts and careful who you trust!
If heās a convicted sex offender. He shouldnāt by law be near any children, including families children.
You just make sure the kids are never ever left alone with him. Find out if heās getting help and how that help is going too. That way you can kinda gauge what to expect from him. Ultimately though I would let my kids know that their uncle has a sickness in his brain, and they are to never be alone with him. Donāt make it sound all scary. You donāt want to traumatize them. They should know though that way if gods forbid anything did somehow happen your children will know itās ok to tell.
Letās not forget this is learned behavior so who molested the 16 year old?
Also not that hard to just avoid family functions where he is present
Please please no matter how āreformedā he says he is or you think he is. Keep him away from ALL your babies. I was assaulted from age 10 to 13 by a family friend. They do not change or get cured. It sounds like your mama intuition was already kicking in and that you are on the right path. I know this probably feels very stressful and overwhelming. I would make sure nothing has happened already and seek help if you guys need it navigating this information.
Jessica Johns still a child he is flipping 16 years old he is old enough by far to know right from wrong and needs to held accountable for his actions. If he raped your child would you smack his hand and say bad boy go too your room no you would want him in prison or worse. Wake up these kids know what they are doing he is 16 not 2 heāll even at 5 they are learning eight from. Wrong and by 16 he had best know. The victims to his abuse going to live with what he did to them for the rest of their lives he should be held accountable for that. Nothing to be down played I say she has reason to worry a be scared but at least now she know where one of the monsters are. Keep a eye on your kids make sure from here on you or your husband are with the kids or have eye on the 16 year old. Take to your kids about good touch bad touch and no no places. Itās sad you have to teach kids this at a young age but the monsters donāt just hide in the closet. Good luck
I was molested at age 15 by my cousin in lawā¦ needless to say I was never left alone with him again! I did have to go around him after the fact but my family made sure I was never left alone with him and a lot of family called me a liar over the accusation towards him specifically my aunt uncle and other cousins but my mom helped me turn it in and the forensic guy had a women question me while video recording my answers when he was supposed to question me but knew I was afraid to be by myself with any man but my dad. So they had called a women in to help me through the process anywaysā¦
If you have a feeling or anything believe your child , ask them questions find the truth even if they still have to be around the douche bag and yes with time it does get easier and better and the child will finally cope with being around that person. But please donāt leave your childās side if you have to take them around said family member. I wasnāt believed by my aunt until one day she walked in at my grandmas an stood in from of me at my grandmas side and looked me in the eyes and said she was sorry for never believing he done that to me after a mom came forward an told her what he did to her 11 year old daughter which happen to be word for word what I said he done to me !
Ask your children!!!
Just donāt let your children be alone with him for any reason. Itās a difficult situation. You might even talk to the 16 year old. Iām sure he needs some help.
I would never have my kid around someone I found out was a predator. I donāt care if Jesus Christ is hanging out with him, my kid will never be around predators that I am aware of, or around people that are creepy around my son or favor him in a weird way. Always go with your gut mama!
If he is a registered sex offender he is not supposed to go around children. He should know the terms of his probation so he is in violation of it . Call your local police station and they can direct you who to call . I would do it ASAP. WE NEED PROTECT OUR CHILDREN!!!
Heās a child still so I have questionsā¦is he a victim of sexual abuse and acting out? I would absolutely keep an eye on my children around him but my stepdaughter was a victim of abuse thanks to her cousin who was being abused as well. We just keep a VERY close eye on her and donāt allow her alone with her siblings while she gets help
If you feel your kids are in danger, donāt go. Or if you go, ask that he is not allowed there while yāall are there. Go at times he wouldnāt be there. If he lives there, I just wouldnāt go.
Your local CPS will either have people on staff or can refer you to someone trained to do interviews with children. A lot of times kids are afraid to tell if theyāve been touched so its important for them to see a professional
Pedophilia should be punished by death. What is wrong with your husbandās family where they would rather protect his privacy then to inform the family with small children?? Iād be the first to throw a family under the bus if they are touching babies. Iād tell everyone so it didnāt ever happen again. Iād probably also physically throw them under a bus. Thatās just me though.