My fiancee has a five-year-old little boy, and we have a four-month-old little girl together. His son’s mom has been awful towards me ever since we got together. She’s threatened me and harassed me. She blamed me for my father’s death, threatened my life, and told me she hoped I miscarried. At the time, I was living across the country and just recently moved to where my fiancee lives. Long story short, I believe shes abusing her son. My fiancee currently has 50/50 custody with her. We get his son half the week. Almost every time we get him he’s either sick or covered in bruises he can’t explain(I think he’s scared to) and lately he’s been losing a lot of weight… he’s only 28lbs at 5 years old and fits into 3t… our 4-month-old is almost half that, and she was 3lbs at birth. Anytime he comes to us; he’s starving. I make home-cooked meals every night, and every time he eats as fast as possible and always thanks me. It could be the most straightforward meal, and he’ll just go nuts and woof it down like he hasn’t eaten in days. We’ve tried asking him what he eats while he’s at his mom’s and he tells us he doesn’t know. He’s voiced to us before that his aunt(14 yrs old) has hit him before. Not only that, but there has already been a CPS case on his mother for locking him in a room, barely feeding him as an infant, and hitting him previously. My fiancee has been trying for years now to get custody, and ever since I’ve been with him, shes just got worse. Has anyone gone through something similar, and does anyone know how to go about getting full custody in a case like this? We already contacted cps, and they said they couldn’t do anything unless we went to a doctor, and they said he was malnourished… but his mom refuses to give us any of his medical info even with him being sent to us sick all the time. I just don’t know what to do at this point. Also, we’re in California if that helps any
Document everything. Pictures of bruises. Is he in school or daycare. Take to Dr to show bruises and document neglect.
Keep track of everything and if your super concerned for his safety, have dad try to get emergency custody
When you have him take him to the doctor.
Well… take him to the dr any dr… even the Er if you don’t have his medical info so cps can do something about it…
Doctors offices are obligated to release info regarding child especially if there is custody that’s 50/50. Father and mother both get same rights. Take him to doctors office yourself. Document everything, keep a journal.
If dad has 50/50 he has right to take him to a pediatrician that he chooses.
Take him to your dr & contact school to voice concerns & build a case. Poor child 
xx
I’d take him to his Dr even the ER and explain everything. You can call CPS as well if need be. Make sure you document every time he’s with y’all.
File for emergency custody asap
If he has 50/50 custody take the court paper and go to the drs office. Once they see he has joint custody they can speak to him.
When he has his son. Have him take him to a doctor. And pay out of pocket. You have to have a paper trail. And a lawyer
Take him to the doctor or ER and report your concerns. Expect CPS to disect your life as well but make sure he’s safe. Talk to the police. Go to the police station and tell them your concerns and ask what you can do. Take photos of the bruises.
Ask the school for his health card number tell them what’s going on
Str8 to the doctors office each time. They will contact CPS .
Like everyone above is saying document everything, and take him to the doctors, preferably his doctor if you know where he goes so they have his history and records. Even if you dont have his insurance card, his doctors office should have it on record.
Your fiance has 50/50 custody when he comes there your place your husband can take him a Dr. And if they find anything all your husband has to do is go to the Judge in your county tell what you think is happening. He should get him without any problem keeping him that little boy is begging help. Please help him.God Bless Him.
Do you ever take him to Dr. or hospital when he is sick or bruised? Your husband has 50/50 he has a right to have him treated without consent form mom. This would be a start. At least a documentation of weight and bruising would be done. By all means take pictures of bruises, date and time on them. Date you pick the child up.
Take him to the ER and report what you just wrote to the Dr. The hospital has to get CPS involved.
There should be something in the custody paperwork regarding health insurance. Your husband has every right to take out his own policy on his son and get him a valuated by his own doctor of his choosing. We went through almost the exact same thing with my fiance son but he’s older now and we actually now have full custody. You’re going to need an attorney for sure and everything has to be documented
Contact internal affairs at the dyfs/cps office. See what they suggest. Mayne u can have him today. File something tomorrow. Keep him with their approval. Like an emergwncy custody. And they will investigate. Therapy and all. He is concerned for his well being. So once he tells thwm. Theyll jump right on it. U can take him to the ER. But call vps now if u have to.
The fiancée is legally allowed to take him to the doctors without the Mums permission. He is the father it will be in the system. Get in contact with a legal aid that deals with family cases. Have a diary where you and your partner write (how he looks, what he eats, how fast he eats and if your son says anything out of the blue). Document photos (this one is hard because your going to have to explain to the son that you want photos of he’s sores). As soon as he gets to your place take the photos and take him to the doctor to start building a case.
If the father has 50/50 she needs to give up medical info and if she refuses take it to court, you can call cps anonymously and also take to the er and get a forensic nurse to answer all questions ave can tell if he is being abused. Stop allowing that baby to go back to that abuse!
I wouldnt even wait get him checked by a doctor…or get emergency court date…if you have concerns do this now before anything happens…that poor little fella…
Document everything.
Take pictures of his bruises
Pay cash if you have to. I’ve done it with my step son because BM doesn’t give us his insurance info either.
Why doesn’t the father have his medical information it being 50/50 custody? He does have those rights! If CPS went and investigated and saw nothing out of the ordinary maybe ask the pediatrician to contact CPS. If he wants full custody he will need to petition the courts a.s.a.p.
Go to dhr or the courthouse and ask about getting emergency custody because you’re afraid for his safety. If it’s awarded you will have him till it goes to court and she proves he is in a safe environment with her. But definitely take him to the dr and document anything you can so you’ll have something to use as proof. If he has 50/50 custody he may not even need to file anything but check and see just what his rights are in your state.
Get him to a hospital/pediatrician asap. I wouldn’t send him back. File an emergency order with the court. Hopefully they can uncover the truth, especially with her previous case of starvation with the child, it should have been flagged a long time ago.
Take him to your own pediatrician and get a new up to date check on him . Than go from there. Sounds like she’s mistreating him. ASAP have him seen by your PEDIATRICIAN
Dad has a right to any and all information on his child. If need be use the e.r . In addition get him to a seasoned counselor asap. Document and take dated pictures of all injuries on the child and weigh him weekly and log.
There is so much here, idk where to start. I guess firstly, how she treats you is irrelevant. Just in case you bring it up for custody. Next, it’s good you are looking for signs of abuse and it’s good you care but dont jump off the deep end yet. Mysterious bruises are a part of childhood and low weight doesnt mean a child is starving. But the good news is the baby mama cannot refuse medical information. All dad has to do is call, or go down there, and request it. He may have to show proof that hes the dad but hes entitled to that information without moms permission. Dad can also take the child to the doctor, without moms permission. He can request insurance info. He has the exact same rights as her with 50/50. Please get the child checked out. While it absolutely may be just be a small child who plays rough, you all deserve to know about his health and ask questions to make sure.
Where in CA?! I’ll come smack a bitch. That poor baby. Just KEEP bringing your concerns to EVERYBODYS attention! Drs, teachers, lawyers, EVERYBODY. Be his voice!!! Take pictures. Record what he does tell you in case he’s afraid to tell someone that he doesn’t know like a Dr or detective even. Do any and every thing you can to protect that baby!
I would document everything, take pictures of the bruises and see If you can go to your local foc office or whatever and see if you can file for emergency custody so you dont have to give him back if they do that there. Even if u dont got his info for medical stuff , take him somewhere and show the courts you had to pay the bill too to make sure he got seen bc she refused to tell him doctors office which isnt right if hes got 50/50 … you never know she might not even be taking him to a doctor.
This baby is obviously being abused and malnourished, CPS should already be involved due to how much he is falling behind developmentally
Document everything
Take pictures of the bruises or any markings you find, document his emotional state! From the the time you get him til he goes home document how his behavior is, that is a very crucial part in this too believe it or not
Kids will always show a tell if something is going on through behavior if they can’t vocally talk about it
try to find kid friendly ways to get him to answer some questions examples could be:
What do you and mommy do at home for fun
Does mommy let you cook with her at home
Has mommy ever hurt you in any way,
things like that, but he subtle and gentle about it
CPS can get involved even if he isn’t malnourished if you provide proof of physical or emotional abuse, so try contacting your local DSS office and dont stop til you get results, have the police do a wellness check because DSS will get involved at that point
Take him to the emergency room!! Theyll access him and see what’s going on and if there is any sign of abuse That is the fastest way to get this show on the road, theyll contact social services immediately or the police
Doctors are obligated to report any kind of abuse
You dont need his medical info. Take him to the er. That is his father and he can do that.
You might also be able to file for emergency custody, until you can go to court, if you genuinely feel he is being abused/neglected.
Call your lawyer. There has to be something you can do.
I’m the only one going to call b/s on this post? CPS won’t only do something if a doctor says 
She can not block the dad from medical information if they’re truly 50/50 legal custody. He could go to court and get his son’s medical paperwork. He could also walk into any urgent care center, pay out of pocket and have his son looked at for signs of malnutrition.
Also, 5 year old kids can eat a lot, that doesn’t mean he’s starving at Mom’s. A doctor would call CPS if he was showing any signs (there’s also a difference in skinny and malnourished). So many warning signs that the truth’s not being said here.
I would take him to an urgent care or the doc you take your baby to as long as dad signs off he can take him. I would defenitly take him in, but I would also try to schedule a court case for emergency custody until further notice.
If you have legal 50/50 she HAS to disclose all of his medical information. She could be charged with violating a court order if she refuses to give his father vital information
Schools and dr.s are mandated reporters!! I’d have a meeting with the school and bring him to the dr!! Voice your fears to both the school and the dr. Don’t stop until something is done!!! Don’t wait until it’s too late!!
If theres 50/50 custody, then call the court and request the number for whom the case is being handled by. You dont need for her to give you school, medical records regarding the child since 50/50 custody was warded. The father can go to the school n request school records and take him to a doctor.
You still take him to the doctor when you get him and let them call CPS… you tell them that you just picked him up from his mother’s house
By law the mother has to give you guys his medical information. If anything pay cash for now to make sure he is ok. Not only that most pharmacies or drs office can pull it with his legal name and birthdate (I’m a pharmacy tech so I know that they can pull it in a central search)
Go back to court with documentation of bruises,cut and doctors report. Pay for a private visit, go to the ER, go to the precinct! He has 50/50 custody! He has to have medical insurance or at least the pediatrician name so he can take his son.
Get proof then call CPS
Sooo pay for a dr/urgent care visit…take all your evidence and go back to court.
Go to the ER without his card. You can later send the bill to insurance. Withholding his insurance from his dad I don’t believe is legal or at least will be very frowned upon. Document everything you can.
Are you sure we dont share the same BM?
Lord in heaven, I know this life all to well. DM me because we’ll be here all night if I share my story here.
What is wrong with his dad, ? Take him to his doctor.
In California EITHER parent can take the child to the ER. I would go that route and have the doctor talk to the child alone.
His dad can take him to the doctor. He just has to pay then when you go to court take bills and tell judge she refused to release his info for insurance
Have the father go directly to the doctor’s office to get any medical records. Write down everything stating the condition of the child whenever they come back and right before they leave.
Get a lawyer who has experience
Child support services gave my x the medical information needed when he contacted them and not me for the new information. Can you put him on your own insurance or put him on state insurance which would be primary and hers would be secondary. Are you documenting everything? Pictures of the bruising, write down dates times weights etc. like others have said you don’t need her insurance information to get him checked out to do a welfare health check.
Find a doctor yourself one she doesn’t know about. Take pictures and videos! On the first day you get him back video him eating that meal. Take pictures of all the bruises. Maybe even get him a therapist he may tell them what’s going on at mom’s. The biggest thing is documentation!
I don’t understand… you think your step son is being abused by his mom but yet you haven’t taken him to ANY doctor Bc the mom won’t give you any medical information… is there only 1 doctor in your town??? No doctors in surrounding towns??? No ERs??? Where do you live that you have to rely on the mother that you think is abusing him to give you the medical information that could prove or disprove she is actually abusing him?
Being familiar with the CA law can’t you file for temporary emergency custody? At least then the child would be with you all the time until an investigation is done.
I’m not sure what sort of evidence you need to have but I don’t imagine it’s much.
Discuss this with a doctor then have them make report then see a lawyer and social child protection services with the written report from the doctor .usually several visites to a good doctor will give you grounds for just removing him from the home and a lawyer can do the rest for you concerning custody of the child
If he has 50/50 then he has a right to request the medical records himself. Also, contact a family law attorney to discuss options for filing a motion to restrict parenting time.
find out where she takes him to the doctor, if she does, and they shd have all his info there so when he takes him they just pull it up on d system…she may also b refusing to give him his insurance info bcz she doesnt have any insurance for him and shes just keeping th cs money he pays for that. if he pays cs he has the right to call the attorney general and ask if his bby is covered n they should have to provide that info by law
Next time he gets his time with him and the child is covered in bruises, go to the court house and file for emergency custody pending a court date. At that point the child can stay with you and yall can prepare your case.
Take him to the er and go from there.
Continue to date and document EVERYTHING!! Take him to the ER and they will help you in a second! They dont play games…
Poor little boy. It breaks my heart hearing these kinds of stories but I’m glad yr willing to help. Just dont wait any longer. You seem to be on the ball more than yr husband…he doesn’t need medical records to get help. They have all that now days.
Go to the hospital. His info will be in the system if he has ever been there before. Or they can run his name and get his insurance info.
Just take him in if you’re worried. Worry about medical expenses later. His health is more important right now.
Take him to the doc and get your own doc reports take him straight to the er and have him checked for dehydration and empty stomach when you pick him up!
If you are so worried about this child being abused, why did your post start out with how BM harassed you? You’re not worried about him being abused, you’re butthurt that BM doesn’t like you 
I call BS!! If this were anywhere near true, you wouldn’t be on here, you’d be doing everything else you can to get this boy help! Your reasons and you’re actions don’t match up. If your husband was a real dad he’d be doing much more than dead end actions and if you were genuine instead of trying to rant, you both could’ve done something useful by now. People like you 
…take him to a doctor. Dad should have his health card while the child is in his care…so you guys must take him to a doctor. If he is always sick when he co.es to you, why haven’t u taken him to a doctor? Can you file for emergency custody? Talk to the doctor about ur concerns and the doctor will check him to see what he finds. Get a lawyer too. That little guy needs help in my opinion
They see your call as vindictive that’s the only reason cps would ever ever not investigate. Bc they dont believe you. And theres a reason for that whether it be he has called over and over with nothing found on their end.
So go to his school and get their opinion, then to his doctor and get theirs. And go from there.
But the matter is , would this man do all this without you backing him?? Probably not, bc he hasnt.
So you guys break up then what? Is dad still capable to have full custody? Probably not.
Get his social # call medical and say you lost his cards and such they’ll send you new ones …
And honestly especially in CA it’s not really hard to find anything out
Okay, I will start with, who cares how she treats you? She is his ex and the mother of his child. If they got along so great, they would still be together. Also, if she was really not feeding him, many signs would be prominent. If he is in school, there would be a case already open in a heart beat.
Spanking is NOT ILLEGAL IN ANY STATE, so his being spanked or as you put it, hit, is not at all any reason to take away a child if there are not bruises, proven to be from the spanking. You dont have to agree with her method of parenting. Nobody asked you to.
If you need his medical info, his dad can get it. This story really rubbed me the wrong way because, honestly, I see the bias in it.
Next time he comes to your house sick call family service and tell them he sick and mom refuses to give you his medical information to take him in
If this is true…go for custody.
Take pictures. Video him eating. And if hes on the birth certifacate go to the social security office and medicaid office with his id and all yalls papper work. And say yall need his stuff to bring him to the doctor. Sorry but something is wrong
Go to the er n take pictures
Take him to the er and insist on him being seen. When cps comes in children believe it or not are assessed on wether they are adoptable or not (I have a social worker friend) abused and malnourished are not adoptable which is why so many abused kids are not taken. Cps wont do shit unless a child is adoptable.
Take him to the ER and let them DX him and go from there.
File for emergency custody asap!!! … and see if you could you send him there with a spy camera in the meantime.
I wish you all the luck an pray your wrong about his mom but if your not don’t give up on this little boy try to do something but do it the right way so when you do get him he will be there forever your boyfriend needs to talk to this child why does he not trust his dad to talk to him keep trying don’t give up on child
If they have 50/50… and his dad believes he’s being abused, I don’t think he has to send him back, but u will have to go file a report on why ur not returning him, and be sure to have some sort of documentation to back up ur claims. Otherwise it can totally blow up in ur face.
Call CPS again! Take the child to the doctor and have him looked over!
Take him to a dr and pay cash. It’s worth it. Your husband can also file emergency custody if he believes his child is being abused.
If he is on Medicaid the doctors office should be able to look up his number by his name and birthday. Get him to the doctor if what you say is true you are being neglectful by not taking him to the doctor. Get this done ASAP
What does his dad say? What has HE done to deal with his son’s situation? If you were out of their lives, what would dad do?
TAKE HIM TO THE POLICE! File an abuse report, & file an emergency no contact order in court. Take him to your own doctor, even if you have to pay the bill yourself.
These are HUGE RED FLAGS! This child IS being abused!
& DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Use a year long calendar & mark the days he comes to you, how he looks, how he eats, & statements he makes to you about the mothers home. Do it every single time you have him. Even take pics of the child the minute he walks in your door & a few minutes before you send him back.
Dad can get his own pediatrician and take him ASAP. He should see a GI specialist as well to rule out any medical reasons as to why he is malnourished. Take pictures and log everything and report it as many times as you need to. Find a lawyer and fight for full custody.
Take him to your own doctor and also a therapist. The therapist can help you get down to what’s really going on and they will call cps on your behalf if needed.
Your husband needs to get him to a doctor pronto,and fill him in on the bruising etc! You have to start a paper trail.
Or a hospital and get pictures of the bruising fast
TAKE HIM TO THE ER! YOU DONT NEED HIS INS INFO JUST GO! Get a doctors opinion asap.
Yes go to the hospital CPS is a joke get a attorney fight for this little boy that is horrible if they have 50/ 50 custody he should be able to get more involved and safe his son he is just as guilty if he lets it continue Im sorry but this is really horrible 28 pounds at 5 something is horribly wrong.
You can call local police and have a get well check done.
Do something now
Get doctors and therapists on your side. Document document document take pictures!!! Get a lawyer and go for it. If there is still a case open with cps get involved! Sorry that poor baby has to suffer.
You don’t her medical detail, your partner can apply for a Medicare card with his sons name on it.
The ER can do a full evaluation, just be prepared for them to question you guys also… that’s the fastest track I know of.
50/50 custody means “dad” can get medical records, himself!
Dad can get his medical info from the doc office. Also next time y’all have him you can go to a walk in clinic or any ER. I would say ER is better and explain the situation to the doc who checks him out. Good luck.
50/50 custody and the father has no medical info???
1st of all I would contact the police if my stepchild showed up undernourished, starving and covered in bruises.
Probably call a lawyer too.
Then call CPS.
Take pictures and take him to a doctor yourself. It should not be hard to get custody once you two are married so for his sake do it fast. If it was me I would NOT send him home to his mom custody agreement be damned.