What am I supposed to say when my ol man asks me what’s wrong with me?

A guy I used to have the biggest crush on in high school and when we got older we eventually started seeing each other and he just passed away 2 days ago- he took his life… 4 years ago is when we was seeing each other but I’ve always held him dear to me. He’s always had demons and I tried to be there but some demons you just cannot win no matter how much you fight. I just feel he’s going to be upset that I’m upset over it
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What am I supposed to say when my ol man asks me what’s wrong with me?

How is a man that’s no longer here going to be upset with you? That’s what im gathering out of this. :grimacing:

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Be honest with him? Tell him you’re grieving the loss of someone from your past. Just because it hurts you, does not mean you were in love with the man that is now gone. If you want honesty and openess from him, you have to be honest with him

If he is upset with you, he is the one with the problem. You are allowed to grieve. This other man was obviously close to you and now he is gone. Just because you weren’t together anymore doesn’t mean you will be able to dismiss the situation.

Be honest, a partner worth keeping will support you through your grieving process. If he gets upset, he’s not worth keeping.

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This person meant something to you on several levels…not just romantic. He death was tragic…we grieve over strangers who lost their lives tragically… so if your ol’ man can’t understand that…and if you had not broke it off with this person…you wouldnt be with your man now…so there has to be some level of understanding there. And it is just never easy seeing someones demons win… big hugs!

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You tell him the truth instead of bottling it up inside

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Tell him the truth. It’s perfectly okay to feel sadness over losing someone who was once a big part of your life. It’s very heartbreaking when someone takes their own life. Sorry for your loss.

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If he is upset you’re morning a loss of someone in your life, he is trash. Your first thought shouldn’t be “I just feel he is going to be upset”. Sending hugs to you.

Just tell him straight someone you care about died. If he has a problem with that he is a bad partner

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Always be honest. He will sense something is up with you if you don’t say anything and then when you do tell him why then he will take it personal or like you loved the other guy more. If you’re just honest from the start then at least you can both be on the same page. You are allowed to be upset and grieve for someone you lost no matter who they were or who you are with.

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The truth. A friend died very tragically. It’s normal to be upset over this.

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Your grieving a friend?!? When is that not ok? If your husband gets upset over that there are bigger issues in your marriage! Smh

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Tell him you’ve found out someone you used to care about has died, and that you’re finding it hard because they took their own life. I’d find this hard about any of my old friends so I can’t see why it would be an issue.

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Just explain to him when you truly love someone, you don’t stop caring for them despite being a part. However, the love you felt for your ex is a different love than you feel for your husband. You chose to be with your husband and to share your future with him but you shared a past with your ex. Maybe that’s a start to the conversation you definitely should have.

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I got really upset when my ex died even though he was very controlling and scary.

Tell him love I would be honest if he is funny bout it then tell him it doesn’t mean you don’t love him . your sad that someone you have cared about died .and it hurts xx

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Tell him it’s an old friend & you always looked out for each other… That yous did date briefly but you both agreed yous weren’t into each other romantically… which is the truth, hopefully he can support you through it and understand why your upset X

This happened to me in 2014. Not only was the guy my ex but he was a good friend for about 4 years. Also the only reason we broke up was because I moved to a different state and he couldn’t handle the long distance. I felt extremely guilty that I caused his depression. It had been about 2 years since we broke up. He was dealing with some depression when we were together but it got alot worse when I moved and we shortly after that broke up. He started using drugs and eventually lost his mind and walked out into the desert with nothing to survive with. A month or two later they found his body unrecognizable. I really mourned his death, I cried, I got angry, cried some more, I was really sad for weeks. The whole time my partner didn’t quite understand but ultimately he was still supportive and never questioned my loyalty or feelings for him,he was understanding because ex or not this guy was my friend and I just cared for him and also I felt immense guilt that part of his depression was my fault.

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Be honest with him. You have a past and people in your past, before he came along. Unless you have a rocky marriage with trust issues, he should understand.

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Let him know your friend passed. Thats what he was after you two split wasn’t it? I’ve been upset when people who were the worst to me have died. He shouldn’t be upset. If he is he has the problem

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Tell him an old friend had committed suicide and you are feeling very bad about it. If your “ol man” is angry - maybe you should be looking for a “new man”.

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Too bad. It’s natural for you to be upset.

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Why would he be upset?
You lost someone you cared about and if he has an issue with you grieving you need to RUN

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It is toxic when someone tries to control a partner’s feelings, especially grief over the deceased. Tell him the truth. If he flips out, he’s not the one, leave.

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Everyone has a past, someone you care(d) for passed. Your feelings are valid. If he can’t see that, he needs to have an eye opener or hit the road.

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Everyone has a past and you can’t control how he is gonna feel I’m sure he has had some former gfs

Aw honey, that’s so tough :sleepy: Just be honest with him and allow yourself to grieve. Honesty is the best policy and if he loves you he’ll understand.

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Just explain to him what’s going on. My boyfriend had a ex that died this past year and he was upset about it. They had been friends for many years before we even met. He still talks about her and remember times they had together. It doesn’t affect that we are together now. But he’s allowed to feel his feelings

A close friend from high school died two days ago. We be stayed friends and in touch. No less than the truth but no more that can hurt. And yes you can add it was a suicide

If he is upset that someone you care about ex or not died then does he really even care about you. Be upset grieve don’t mind him

simply tell him that a friends from high school died. be honest.