What are the odds of my ex gaining residential parent of our daughter?

What are the grounds for giving a residential dad parent? We weren’t married so right now I, legally have full custody (Ohio) he filed for visitation and also checked to make him residential. He is never home, works swing shift every two weeks, two weeks days, two weeks afternoon, two weeks midnights, so if that happened, his mother would be raising our daughter just like she did with his first kid. He’s not residential of his first child for a reason. Because he’s never home, he only wants residential, so he doesn’t have to pay all that child support. When I first told him I was filing, he tried to guilt me, saying I was using our infant as a paycheck. After we had the hearing and the amount was decided upon, we were talking a couple of days later, and he said it was excessive and didn’t take almost a mortgage payment to raise a child a month. I’m 100% for visitation, I know he loves our daughter, but she is eight months old, she’s always with me and always has been. I’m home with her every night, and I’ve been the one that pretty much did it all, bedtimes, getting up throughout the night, all of it. It’s no different being a single mom of 2 in my own apartment than what it was living with him tbh. I’m just worried they’ll give him residential, especially when he knows he’s barely home.


As long as you aren’t an unfit mother then I wouldn’t worry about it. Mamas come first :woman_shrugging:t2:


Most states the mother has to be proved unfit
Document everything

Only way he would get residential is if there was a reason. If you are a stable, loving mother, you dont have anything to worry about.

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I would look up ur state custody laws and ask a lawyer hunny. Truthfully everyone’s case is different and so is every state. What happens to one doesn’t always happen to the other.

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Let him do it,Let him file, the judge will see both schedules and make that decision since you two can not. All parents should have 50/50 if neither parent is unfit. His schedule & how he handles his relationship with his child is not up to you. You just keep being mom.


You can share. Me and my bd (who sees our daughter like twice a year) are technically 50/50 placement. And just because he works different hours doesn’t mean he can’t have the child if he is still only gone for part of the day just different parts every week.

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I would think the judge would take all that into account. Document everything with a date.

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Your lawyer can request copies of his time logs at work.


Worst case scenario(unless can be proven unfit) he will get shared physical custody where the child may have to alternate weeks with each of you. It’s unlikely the court will remove the child from your physical custody and grant it to him 100%


I hate to be that person but what does residential mean in this case?

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He won’t win. He will get visitation. Don’t let his mother raise your child! Don’t let the guilt win.


At this age I think you are pretty safe Ohio doesnt allow overnight visits until age 2 unless you let him.

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SMH his work schedule has NOTHING to do with him being a good father. If he is a good father an does his part then your hate to say it opinion of how he can or can’t do it is irrelevant. He knows he is a father he knows his work schedule an I’m sure he will make it work for his childs saie weather you agree like or don’t like he is the FATHER. I hate the world we live in acts like fathers are just disposable, an child support did you give him a chance to do the right thing and give money or did you just decide because y’all wasn’t going to be together he should be on child support? Yes I know kids are expensive I’m raising three but women are so quick to put a man on child support an quick to want to have the say over kids as soon as the relationship between mother an father don’t work an that’s why alot of father’s are being pushed out of their kids life. I don’t know the situation but sounds like he is upset you went an put him on cs for no reason or without letting him show he doesn’t need a judge to help support his kids definitely if he was doing it an doing it right before you two split.


I’m in Ohio as well. They always check residential. It’s kind of just part of the process anymore. That way when you actually go to court they seem like they’re being flexible and working with you because they end up settling for shared parenting, so they look like they’re being reasonable. Don’t worry. Chances are he’ll get Shared Parenting with rule 24 visitation (1 night a week and every other weekend, unless you agree to more)

The younger the child the more time they keep them with the mothers (especially if you breastfeed) he will get visitation at best but residential will remain with you. In order for him to even be considered for residential he needs to show proof that he has her own room, toys, clothes, bed, etc. But they will definitely give him visitation, 50/50 (if that, due to her age).

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I wouldn’t worry about it too much. His working pattern may make it difficult for him to get residential. I’m sure if you offer fair visitation then it should all be ok. In regards to child support, it does my head in when people seem to think it’s too much. Raising a child is very very expensive. Fathers ( or mothers) who pay support should be happy to help provide for their kid, not resent every penny! My ex despises what he calls ‘giving me money’. No matter how often I explain that I’m not spending it on myself, it goes towards the raising if our child. He does everything he can to get out of paying!
Hope everything works out alright for you mama! X

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What is “residential” ?

As long as your working and taking care of your children and they aren’t in and harm or danger they won’t but you both have to put your issues a side a think whats best for the child if you don’t want her going on her own then go with him go to a public place even though your not seating in the same table or something but he has to see his child my ex and i separated 1 year ago our son will be 2 in December since the beginning i didn’t want to but i had to for him but his picks up our son when ever he can we don’t have any set dates i know he is busy working and stuff so he just calls me and tells me to get him ready and most of the times i go with them but that’s because my son’s dad tells me to go with them but sometimes i let them go alone so they can have time just them too but we go out to the movies shopping and out to eat just the 3 of us for our son we also threw his birthday together both sides of the families can and all the pictures taken of the 3 of us together same thing with holidays we spend them together

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My oldest daughter father tried to get custody of her when she was 5/6. In the papers he wrote if he got her they would move in with his aunt who would help care for her and watch her when he wasn’t home. The courts didn’t take well to that. They said they couldn’t take a child from her home where she lives with her mother and siblings to put her in a home where the father can’t even care for her by himself like I had been doing her whole life. But I have also seen where Mother’s were on drugs and had their kids taken by cps and the father still didn’t get custody because most states are mother states and will do just about anything to keep the child with her. I follow a fathers page and there are a ton of fathers fighting to get their kids because the mother is unfit and they keep losing. Not saying you’re unfit it’s just an example of how hard it is for a father to get custody. Most of them can’t even get 50/50. So I’d say your chances of losing her are pretty slim.


What hours do you work?

Mothers always win no matter how unfit they are. Not saying you are unfit. You sound like a great mom. Could you request no child support and give him a few days a week?

He probably aimed high expecting a 50/50 which is sounds like u have no grounds to fight against 50/50. When u go to court do yourself a favor. Worry about yourself. Dont constantly point out WHY YOU THINK he shouldnt or cant have (it will make u look greedy and selfish to any judge) go into court looking into the best interest of the child. And worry about what you have available to care for your child.

If you live in a mother state which most are all you have to do is say is no the child stays with me full time he
Can have visits and they can be unsupervised or what ever you choose. And if you are breastfeeding that goes on your side as well as they can’t take a bf baby from the mom.

the father of my older child doesn’t even pay CS, Nor does he see her. he has visitations rights, but only used them when he wants. hell he even moved out of town. I’m planning on going back to the office to say some words to them.

The father of your baby should get residential custody. just stay strong and think about your baby. if he pays or not is up to him, but he doesn’t pay after awhile, they’ll go looking for him. well in Texas they try to look foor him.

Working a lot isn’t a reason to not have custody of a child IMO. :woman_shrugging:. You’ll probably get 50/50, which sounds like you dont have a reason for him not to. The dad is JUST as important as the mom.


There’s a LOT they consider. Just prepare yourself for either outcome

I was so confused I gave up reading


He is not home very much. Being a single parent is tough for both men and women. Child care is important and good child care a must. This country makes this tough to do. He isn’t home to take care and you can’t work because of it. Both of you have to find a way to be financially able to get that care. He can’t pay for it all and you can’t work enough to pay for it. GOT family or friends who can help? You can get some aid but he has to live toom

Sounds like the pair of you need to grow up and be kind to the child and do 50 50

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I feel a bit sorry for him. He isn’t home much because he is working. You want him to pay you child support, but you want him penalized for working? He should have his child ripped out of his life except for a few brief visits because he is working to support her? That is not fair. Child support is hard. Because you still have to be able to afford to live while you are paying it. And you still have to have a bedroom, furniture, toys, and clothes for your child at your home, while paying for the bedroom, furniture, toys and clothes at the other parents home too. If he is paying substantial child support then he will have to work excessively for the next 18 years in order to provide for his child at both homes. Don’t slap him in the face with it on top of that.

Too many ladies on this group act like men should be punished for having kids. They have 100% equal right to visit, bond and love their child. And mother’s have 100% equal responsibility to work, support and provide for their child.

I don’t under the ‘residential parent’ and how that affects child support. So confused.by that. Visitations make sense though. My son went to daycare when I worked so guess about the same thing as staying at his Mom’s ? If child support is as much as a mortgage payment that is allot. My son wouldn’t have made it if hadn’t been for his wife working. Ex got child support plus health insurance which left him with minimal to live on before he married.

I hope he can’t get it. I would keep track of his schedule with the baby now and his work schedule. Seems he is only in it for the money. If you are nursing he shouldn’t be able to have the baby overnight anyway. All depends on the judge and you need an attorney right away. Good luck!

For one it’s not about the money but how many moms here, really want they’re mother in laws to raise their kids, To Discipline your kid. I know I wouldn’t. Her point is that the dad is not even going to be around. It’s his responsibility to take care of his daughter not his moms responsibility. If he’s trying to get custody or just visitation, He better be the one waking up to smooth her, comfort her, help her and be responsible for her. Not his mommy job. It’s sad that everyone here is just saying stop Stunning, what wrong with working dads having someone else care for her, No it’s his Daughter. But I keep forgetting that more than 50% of people rather just have a baby and have someone else care for them. It’s not that hard to care for your own Kids. All you have to do is really try and it come naturally.
If you do that, you should be a ashamed of yourself for calling yourself a Mom or Mother period. Because as a mom you can do everything without complaining. You do it with all your love and all their smiles and laughters should fulfill your heart.

Honestly it is so hard to take a kid from a mom to give to a dad. He would have to prove you were unfit. Im in ohio too. Courts want to keep kids with the mom as much as they can.

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It doesn’t matter what you think is right, and I an not trying to be rude about it. Tell the judge about all that ,and he the judge might still rule in the daddy’s favor. This is a cruel world we live in. Get you a good lawyer for sure.

I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want him to share custody. So what if his mom is his childcare so long as he gets to spend time with his child. I’m not seeing a downside unless you’re talking about the child support you will miss out on.


Stop stunting. He doesn’t want to pay honestly enough but you just want child support so you don’t have to go do any work yourself

This is so sad because this happens more then I knew

Look into joining a momsgroup

Seriously! Enough with these fucking posts!