I usually don’t look at my husband of 11 yrs phone. But occasionally when I do. I find naked pictures of women etc and photos of his p**** that I’m sure he sends to girls. I also just found where he told an old friend that we both know he was looking for a booty call. These pictures etc were done in January and beginning of February. He always flips when I question him about things and his phone. His excuse is always that I’m on my phone and fb more and that they all are not close by to where we live. What should I do? I also feel very bad because I’m overweight. Always have been kind of but it’s gotten worse over last 7 yrs. I’ve tried alot of things and other than starving myself idk what to do. I feel so bad. No this is not the first time that’s happened either also he’s cheated before. I seriously don’t trust him still but love him. He’s over ten yrs older than me in his latter 50’s and he gets it and is very sexually driven all the time granted it doesn’t always last a long time.
Naked phots of women and of his private part is literally the sign right there. Leave him.
Your weight shouldn’t effect your husband cheating!! Absolutely no excuse he knows full well what hes doing!! You can do better girl!!
It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. Try Counseling. If not it’s time to go
I think what you’re actually asking is “How can i be ok with my husband cheating”.
I’m assuming you’re around 40 based off the “10 years older”, surely you can’t be that naive & blind especially at that age to not know the signs of cheating…
If he’s cheated before, you’re finding these pics on his phone currently, he’s defensive about it when asked and then shifts the blame on you and you don’t trust him then that’s your answer. You may love an idea of him but you need to actually look at him because you aren’t. He is disrespecting you and essentially blaming you. If you want to work on the marriage get counseling. If he is reluctant for counseling then that’s your answer.
You deserve to have someone be real & loyal with you. Doesn’t matter your weight. You deserve loyalty
Your self worth is so low. 
Just take a long walk .and really start thinking of things… it will kick on.
I’m overweight but you’d be surprised how many men do not care and some actual prefer.
U need to leave, so disrespectful and he obviously doesn’t care. Love urself amd respect urself enough to leave
Literally a neon sign is flashing that he’s cheating… Stop wasting your time if you’re not okay with an open relationship
Leave. You’ll find better, or be better without him.
Leave. Leave. Leave. Pictures like that is the sign that’s he’s cheating. Don’t blame this on your weight. You are beautiful exactly how you are. He’s the bad guy here.
Let him find the same stuff in your phone or leave. He’ll get the point.
Girl he’s cheating and you should not put yourself down because of your weight or let that be his excuse to do what he does. Heavy or not, it’s still not okay for him to linger with other women. If he’s done it before, and continues to send nudes he will always be that way especially if he’s 50 and doing those things. I’d definitely finally break free of him but collect all the evidence first. Good luck!
He’s cheating, leave now. Talking to other women, sending photos receiving photos are cheating inappropriate behavior for a married man. There’s no excuse don’t you dare blame yourself Queen, it’s his own lack of integrity. Rise up Beautiful 
Leave save yourself any further heartache, get back to you, love on you be kind to yourself you deserve the BEST:heart:
This is unacceptable. The phrase “it doesn’t matter because they don’t live close by”? That’s manipulation and deflection. If he thinks this is acceptable, there’s no stopping his next actions.
Girl you know the answer. I don’t care how much weight you have gained don’t give him any more chances to disrespect you like that. You deserve better and you know it
Leave… lose the weight to look how you want to! Gain your self confidence and self esteem back!!! Then go on a date with his friend or his brother 
Loving someone doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Leave the cheater to his booty calls and be happy knowing your own worth.
He is gaslighting you. Went through the same thing for almost 6 years. Get out if you can. He will never own his shit and take accountability and will inevitably always find a way to blame you in some fashion.
You are depressed from being in a shit relationship hence the weight gain, you need to start loving yourself, get out of that loveless relationship and move on, you deserve to be happy with someone who loves you. Where there is no trust there is no relationship ever! And do not ever think that you are not worthy of someone loving you and being faithful to you
Sending pictures and SAVING pictures is a form of cheating. It’s emotional instead of physical. You deserve better. Please leave and focus on loving you again. There is someone out there that will love you for you and only you. No one deserves this kind of treatment.
Have you told him this bothers you ? His behavior is disrespectful in your marriage. Eat healthier, walk, exercise, lose a few pounds. I’m trying to do the same, I’m divorced at 240 lbs. @ age 50. Seek counseling for your marriage. Good luck 
Momma
I am currently at my highest weight, I’m not saying how much but it’s over 200 pounds and in a 18 year marriage and I have never found naked pictures of girls on my husband’s phone. Love and marriage is supposed to be faithful and through better or worse. We all have our flaws but it doesn’t sound like he’s very accepting of yours.
HERE’S YOUR SIGN. Dump him
You seen two reasons to leave his old cheating ass. Your weight shouldn’t matter to those who really love you. I’m 28, 5’2", 181lbs. I feel fat, but my hubby loves me and always tell me how beautiful I am, especially on days when I don’t feel like I am. Now, that’s how your husband should treat you as well, if he treats you less then that, he doesn’t really love you. If he’s flipping out when you bring up the pics you find on his phone, then he’s trying to find that he’s cheating, or not really into you. Idk how old you are, but you still have so much value to you, and shouldn’t be accepting less than what your worth
There is no point in talking to him. Either leave or open up your relationship because he’s already doing it and talk to whoever you want. Trust me when I say weight is not an issue with most men. Only the immature ones. Make some friends girl. Its not you who is the problem, its him.
These can’t be the same men that Dolly begged Jolene not to take
Girl leave seriously. If there’s no trust there’s nothing. You may love him but deep down inside you’re breaking to pieces and it’s not fair to u to continue letting him do this to you.
Leaveeeeeeeeee and take everything. Get proof of infidelity for court 
Your husband is definitely cheating and you sound like you have no self worth and just want things to magically change and get better.You should separate yourself from him since nobody deserves to be cheated on and then see your doctor to get blood work done to check your health and start focusing on yourself.You are in a negative frame of mind to think eating better with less calories is starving yourself.You have convinced yourself overeating is whats easier but I guarantee if you shift into a better mindset where you get rid of stressors and put yourself first everything will get easier to manage but never again convince yourself that being an ideal weight is what makes you worthy of a spouse who doesn’t cheat.
Lol I think you have your sign’s. Maybe you don’t need sign’s maybe red flags . So here are some 
I found pics on my now ex husband’s phone of his goods and his excuse was he meant to send them to me, but forgot. And that was a big lie because a couple a weeks later I found messages between him and his coworker. 9/10 if they get really offended/ defensive then they are guilty. They’re never upset until they are caught. I tried to work things out because I didn’t want to be a part of the high divorce rate, but it comes down to what you can live with and what you can tolerate. If you don’t have trust it’s hard. Really hard. And don’t blame yourself. It’s a reflection of their own insecurities or flaws not yours.
Get evidence take those pics and put them on your phone , after you have good evidence. Divorce him for adultery. Get everything he has and alimony. I know what you are going through but make him pay. I even sued the girlfriend for Alienation of affection and won. Mine is paying for our house ,my car and paying alimony… Beat him at his own game.
throw that man away.
Leave him, don’t think your not worthy of finding someone else because you are! And to just ‘put up with it’ losing weight can be done but don’t rush into it for him! He doesn’t care otherwise he wouldn’t be messaging other women! He doesn’t deserve you and YOU can do better! Xx
There is only two things you can do about this since this is something he clearly doesn’t care to do to you…leave or except this as your life
Your husband sounds disgusting and I would get checked out. You deserve sooooo much better than someone who makes you insecure about yourself. No real man would ever let his girl feel like this. The evidence is clear your husband is a little boy and not a man.
Leave him he will just keep takung p…s out of u overweight or not u dont need to put up with it xx
Girlll you deserve better !!!
If he isn’t actively cheating right now, he is definitely wanting to.
Girl!!! Cheat back and hush 
If you ain’t leaving then be happy at least.
Girl if u don’t get some self esteem. N move on w ur life. He is abusing ur and draining ur life force. Run!!
It’s not about you or your weight so get that out of your head , this is his disease. He’s got the problem and yes he’s definitely cheating. Get out of it and find yourself again.
I haven’t seen anyone recommend this (not saying no one has. I just haven’t read all the comments.) But book an appointment with your OBGYN, doctor (whoever) and have them test for STD’s STI,s ect… that could very well be a hole other can of worms.
Edit to add: who knows where he’s been putting his 
.
take a boobie pic and send it to him
then say oops it wasn’t for you.
ladies need to start treating these guys the way they treat you. break them down and make tjem feel like shit 
ive been with my man for 11 yrs and he sure cuts his crap when i do that lol
Here’s what you do… you throw the whole man away!
He is so clearly cheating on you and redirecting when he’s confronted to turn it around and make it your fault.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
If you being on your phone/social media was an issue for him, then he should be an adult and address that issue with you. That doesn’t justify him cheating. There is no justification for cheating on your spouse.
Leave him. Find happiness with yourself and when you’re not even looking, you will find a man that worships you like the goddamn goddess that you are!! 
Throw the whole man away. Divorce, take half of everything and be happy. Once your happy again you’ll feel so much better about yourself. It’s not love if there is no trust. Your comfortable. Don’t be OK with tolerating that type of treatment!
Because you’re overweight is no excuse for a man to treat you this way. Leave and go make yourself happy!! It’s hard because you do love him but you’ll soon realize how much happier you are without his abuse.
The only thing left to do is keep complaining, he’s cheated on you before and he will again, you’ve allowed yourself to be disrespected and continue to do so, have some self love, respect and leave
His behavior is disgusting, I’d walk away while I still had some of my dignity left.
Cheating. EMOTIONAL cheating is cheating. Verbal cheating IS CHEATING.
Your self esteem will take WAY less of a beating from your weight issue than an obviously cheating husband who sends dic-pic’s, it’s better you take our advise to leave now than to endure 10 more years of it and have a therapist ask you why you didnt
Just leave. It’s going to be hard at first. My ex husband moved a lady into MY house saying it was his aunt. We were selling our Harley and he used my phone to check emails and forgot to log out. I found out that he slept with every friend and who this woman really was. I left everything and moved to another state. I stayed single for about 6 years. I found myself. I learned that self love and care is important. Now I have a man who let’s me know where he’s at what he’s doing. Asks me how my days going. Etc. I learned to trust again
Don’t you dare try and feel bad about your weight. The right man will love every bit of who you are, inside and out!
once a cheater allways a cheater run and dont look back
Leave him. Do better for yourself. He’s cheating on and disrespecting you.
Lol What are the signs of cheating? You just listed all of them 
Gurl, leave him and don’t come back.
Sweetie you need to leave and learn to love yourself know one can truly live you until you love yourself and then you will demand respect and loyalty and maybe see your dr make sure your not having thyroid issues very common in women our age also I believe you are self medicating using food some turn to drugs alcohol some turn to food and other things you have major stressor wich probably triggers the unhealthy eating habits as well you are beautiful thin ir thick and he will only do what you allow him to do I’d you allow this behavior then it will never stop you set the line as to how someone treats you they will give you what your willing to accept been with my husband 20 years and it hasn’t always been easy I have been over 230 pounds at 1 time and he never once made me feel anything but beautiful and we have had our issues at the beginning we were fairly young and we had both came out if very toxic relationship and we were both drinks for the first 6 months I woke up one morning said this isn’t me and I’m not this person and I haven’t drank a drop since 19.5 years ago I gave him a choice 6 months later me and his kids from prior relationship or the whiskey but he couldn’t have both he stopped that day and now only has a beer on occasion if we’re out in a social environment and never over 2 to 3 our daughters together are 10 and 11 and have never seen us drink or ever seen alcohol in our home so see when you draw a line in the sand and you give them a choice then it’s up to you to make sure they are living up to their end if not you need to remove yourself and sometimes it 5akes walking away for them to see what they are losing hunny self live and it will all end because once you find your worth you will no longer put up with this behavior and if he hasn’t physically cheated yet it’s only because he hasn’t found a willing participant yet but yes to your question is he is definitely searching for something outside your marriage so it’s up to you to decide just how much of his shenanigans you are willing to put up with your weight shouldn’t even be in this conversation dear remember you are BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE WORTHY AND YOU SESRVE BETTER THAN YOU ARE RECEIVING
Wake yourself up girl!!!
Why starve yourself just leave, no man worth this stuff you dealing with need a sign to leave here it is go enjoy your life with no worry
Hes cheating…and your weight doesnt have anything to do with his actions.
Don’t belittle yourself or excuse his behavior. You deserve better than that.
Feel you already know the answer…
Use them in the divorce
YES … sorry. Cheating starts in your mind…
Sweetie, it really sounds like you need to work on your confidence. I’m not saying this to be mean, but you need to be able to stand up for yourself. You don’t deserve to be treated like this.
Girl you’re letting him cheat on you. Stand up for yourself. Love don’t continue to hurt; It makes mistakes and pushes you to make crazy choices but never make a choice against your own happiness. Right now you’re choosing to give him the ability to strain your soul and happiness. Make him do the opposite or he isn’t the one.
You asked what are the signs of cheating and your entire story was all LEAVE HIM. You deserve better.
He doesn’t respect you. No questions here. You know the answer already. Live your life for you and don’t settle.
Get away from him. You cant feel bad about yourself/situation forever. I bet if you got rid of him your WL efforts would be more fruitful. Im 43 i always struggled with my weight too. I lost 30 pound pretty quick after ditchin the jerk. It just wks against everything in life. You feel bad about yourself cause he wants you too, not because you are bad
Men cheat for a variety of reasons, but insecurity is one of them. It usually has nothing to do with the woman.
Sounds like you need to file for a divorce!!
Well, for starters, feeling guilty about your weight is absurd. And starving yourself won’t do much. Also, you have all of the signs in front of you. I think you know that, or you wouldn’t be making this post. Leave him and go live your best life!
Nope. Just think of the peace you’ll rediscover having dropped 200+ lbs of disrespect and trash. Let his booty calls think (let’s be honest, probably for no more than a nanosecond) what a prize they discovered while looking over his unit pics. I suggest counseling for you, to unlearn setting the worth you feel for yourself by the numbers on a scale. 
Dont let any man or person make you question if your good enough, or if you lost weight ect… you could be a 109 lbs and he would do the same . Love your self more move on .
I would rather be single then to deal with all that shit
For me, sending, receiving, or even requesting nudes IS cheating. I’ve had the same stance since I was in high school. My husband is aware of this, so if he did it, I’d say he cheated. With that said, do you feel the same way? Does he know you feel that way? His response seems like he doesn’t understand the issue or he doesn’t care one. Probably both. Either way, make it known how you feel and that it is unacceptable to you if he continues, move on. I believe respect is the most important part of a relationship. You can have all the love you want, but if you don’t respect your partner, you will hurt them. Respect over love any day for me. 
He does not respect you and none of this is your fault so don’t blame yourself it doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or heavy he may marry you so that should be the way it is he’s a pig
Yeah leave his sorry ass
That’s always what they say is well you are and etc. He is cheating honey. Your weight has nothing to do with it. Love isn’t based on appearance. Hugs to you honey
I’d loose the weight, look fabulous then leave him. Try intermittent fasting.
Well the signs are,
- he has done it before
- photos of his penis on his phone
Yet another poster with poor self esteem who thinks she deserves the pig shes with. I seriously feel sorry for the women who lack pride in themselves.
Sorry… I can’t comment on the cheating. To drop the weight, cut the sugar especially sodas, snacks etc and eat more fruits. Gradually you can start to exercise by going for walks. Girl, your confidence level will start to rise just by doing the basics.
Leave him.
Put all your focus into yourself and your happiness🦋
No one deserves to wonder if they are being cheated on and if you have already found out he has then he has already damaged the relationship and your trust will never be the same. I hope you can be strong enough to know your worth and make the choice to leave. 
He is cheating, was cheating before, and will always cheat on you. Get out of the relationship asap.
Become your own best friend that being said grab a friend that you can trust a different car a camera binoculars and become a spy get your evidence gather it up confronting give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t take him to the bank get a lawyer don’t put up with that that’s cheating and he probably is seeing someone but play dumb play cool and then just get your evidence talk’s cheap evidence speaks loud
Everything about your post makes me want to cry. He makes you feel like you are less deserving of respect because your are overweight. You are not the size of your body. Most of us have little control over the size we are.but that isn’t what defines you.you are probably kind,honest,trustworthy commpassionate.all the things that matter. I wish for you to see you deserve better.
Do you want to be happy or Keep dealing with this ? It’s literally your choice . That’s what it boils down to . A choice .
First of all that’s narcissistic behavior. Secondly it is a big deal. So either he wants to work on this and not do that kind of behavior anymore or gas light you about it so you might need to go to couples therapy and if he doesn’t want to do any of that then you have your answer girlfriend and you need to leave him. If you have insurance try to go to your doctor and maybe they could help you with some healthy weight loss things or to help you maybe it seems like you might be a little depressed too honey which is totally understandable I’m so sorry you’re going through all this but unfortunately with the way the world is almost all men seem to do this.
While you’re getting all of your evidence together if you feel like you want to for you I would go check out I had gastric bypass I used to be 450 and now I’m like 2:30 but I did it for me and for my health but anyway he likes sex and he’s over sexual I would tear him up I told him in the bed and I would be wild all over him he would know what hitting you got to play his game till you can get your evidence and lay it to me and don’t forget the alimony
Uhhh I think the signs of cheating are exactly what you found. And then, that it’s not the first time and he cheated before… I’m sorry 
He’s cheating … Im sorry. Leave his ass
You know the answer. He is cheating. At the least he is trying to. Who knows if the other women fall for it or not. Doesn’t matter. You matter and need to know that. Cut your lose and work on yourself. You will feel better and be better. Carrying his bad behavior may be the whole reason you are not properly taking care of yourself. Make a dramatic change and I promise you will see and feel the great results he is keeping you from
He’s a cheater and always has been.
I feel asif I could of written this myself, your more then welcome to message me and we can get strong together! 
Hun, I’ll say this from the heart. YOU may try to ignore the cheating but in your subconscious…YOU know…And it can be making you unhappy contributing to the added weight gain!!! For one, divorce his sorry self because he DOESN’T deserve you!!! Secondly, get counseling for yourself to deal with the grief of losing the relationship and the cheating he has done. Then follow up with your Dr and ask for testing on why you can’t seem to lose weight (such as thyroid, hormones, and such). Lastly…Find something to do that makes YOU feel good and happy! Can be simply reading a book, color a picture, a nice cup of tea walking in a nature setting…WHATEVER it maybe. Find a piece of Peace for you. Let him take that cheating somewhere else, and if he tries to come crawling back (usually happens) tell him to kick rocks in the same boots he was knocking bedposts with while cheating!
Listen to he pay all ur bills if so cheat too I support my man in every way b:rofl: