What can I do about my daughters attitude?

My Bio’s were pretty miserable at that age (teen years).
Estrogen or Testosterone poisoning…

I like them both much better as adults.


Burning sage does smell gross. Also safe burning is a closed practice.

Sounds to me like you’re hyper sensitive.


Anyway teenager’s these Days think they rule the planet.back in the days when crap like this happens.parents will check out whom their kids were hanging out with.90+per cent of the time, sure enough they were mingling with the wrong crowd.

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I don’t tolerate stinky ass behavior. Being a teenager doesn’t give anyone an excuse to be disrespectful. Same as being a terrible 2. People are making excuses for the kids behavior but when the kids make mistakes they quickly blame the parents. I hate Americans culture they gave kids too much freedom and crucified parents for discipline their kids. That gives the kids the power to be disrespectful and do whatever the hell they want. And nobody will touch them🙄. Teach them while they’re young. Not when they get older and be mouthy

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Teenager bs but if it was my daughter she would have got smacked across the mouth period . When she gets her own place she can talk anyway she wants but uh hell to the no .


Try burning the sage when she’s not home. She’s 11, it’s going to get worse before it gets better. Good luck.


My oldest has been evil lately as well lol she’s 12 & she will not talk to me about her feelings anymore and I try to let her know I’m not the one to judge and I just wanna help her but nope …. So idk what to do now either

It’s ok to protect your family from unseen evil from beyond but I would also have a calm open conversation with her and ask her if something is happening in her life that’s upsetting her. With social media thrown in the mix kids can be cruel on a wide scale. Kids are cruel and school is brutal. She is going through a change becoming a woman as well. I would talk to her and let her know if somethings upsetting her your there for her if she needs to talk to someone. And if she has a cell phone and or laptop I suggest monitoring her activity because there are people on the internet that are demons that are looking for kids to exploit. They pretend to be a kid to lure them in. Think back to when you were becoming a teenager. It’s normal and it happens to everyone. Hang in there. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride!

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Are you made about how she said it. Or just the fact she said it smelled. My kids when say it smelled bad also

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Sage does smell disgusting and your child is a teenager and they have the same self obsorbed attitude that two year olds have lol it’s all natural.I think when we see that first sign from our kids that they are no longer sweet natured and easily entertained by what we are doing it’s hard on our hearts.It’s so different to hear a two year old say “what you doing momma? That smells stinky!” Than a 16 year old say “Eww that smells disgusting mother! Why would you put that in our house?? now my room is forever tainted by the fumes of your rotten plant ugh!!” Lol


Are you heading into menopause? I’m more worried that you cried all night over something so relatively minor. Get checked by a doctor and see a therapist if it could help you survive the difficult teen years AND the craziness of menopause. Teens are learning to be their own person in order to separate from you and become a responsible adult, but it’s a really rocky transition—for both of you.

Get her into whatever healthy activities where she has an interest: sports, art, music, dance, activism for a good cause, animal welfare, gardening, wherever she can find good people and feel needed or heard and stay out of trouble. With luck there will be other responsible adults she can talk to about life.


It sounds like there is a bigger issue going on than just you crying because your daughter doesn’t like how something smells. I recommend family therapy


Normal go with the flow. I have one that age too. She’s happy some days, moody the next. She swears because that’s probably what they hear at school.

Burn the sage, tell her to shut the h*ll up, take her phone and tell her until her attitude and language improves her little friend can find another friend.


First of all…
No kid should be allowed to cuss at you.
Burn it when she’s not home.

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She could probably benefit from some counseling, I know it definitely helped my teenage son.

Burning sage does smell like shit lmfao sounds like a normal teenager… this post is ridiculous :rofl::woman_facepalming:t2:

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It does stink horribly though.


Sounds like you both have a hard time controlling your emotions…

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She’s 16. Everything is attitude.

Maybe get one of those oil diffusers? I have that and they do have sage oil. But I mix it in with lemon oil and cedar oil. It smells sooo good! It’s not as overpowering and you only need a few drops. So they last a long time.

Welcome to raising a teenager…oh they are vicious, truly. Try really hard, and it is so very hard, but try not to take this time frame in her life personally. They do eventually come back around to being that sweet soul child that you raised, but for a couple of years or more, buckle up…it’s going to be a very bumpy ride.
Teenagers…you have to be strong and SURVIVE them, :rofl:


Teens are awful creatures. They’re full of hormones an cusswords. The cussing wouldn’t bother me as much as the disrespect. When she talks to you like that, she looses privileges. Let her know she’s allowed to express herself, but she needs to do it in a respectful way. Respect goes both ways though, so be sure not to sage when she’s around since she’s already made it clear the smell bothers her. Be an example of what you want from her. Good luck, Mama!

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I had sooo much trouble with my daughter’s attitude and disrespect, for years, she even got in some legal trouble at age 18. She is 22 now and she is THE MOST AMAZING YOUNG WOMAN. Do not cry Mama, please… I promise you if you keep being the AMAZING Mother that you are being, don’t give up on her, and just pick your battles… I PROMISE SHE WILL SNAP OUT OF IT. All teens are so stressed over school, social and dating issues… There can be so much going in in her life that she is not telling you. Her attitude has so much more to do with her frustration, feelings and thoughts then trying to disrespect you or upset you. YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS AND SO CAN YOUR DAUGHTER. YOU WILL LOOK BACK AT THESE MOMENTS AND REALIZE THAT IT WAS JUST A STAGE, A MOMENT IN TIME. My Daughter is now 22 and she is my best friend.

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Teenagers are going through a major brain development phase…almost like toddlers are going through.

Their brains are being rewired from child brain to adult brain. And their behavior reflects that.

Sometimes you’ll see responsible adult behavior, other times you’ll see child benefit.

This doesn’t give her a pass. You still need to parent, and command respect. But with compassion because some of the behaviors are due to brain rewiring.

Also what the others have said about hormones, she doesn’t understand it, but the hormones that are flooding through her body right now have her emotions all out whack.

So…brain rewiring + emotional overload…

You’ll both survive this.

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Sit and tlk with her not yelling or cursing go out with her for lunch or something she needs you


On a silly note, you should’ve said “I bet it does, Demon!”

Serious note, this seems like normal teenage but holery


There no amount of sage, essential oils, prayer, etc that are going to heal the attitude of a teenager. I have 3 girls, one being 12 and I WASN’T ready. The struggle is real.


Crying all night because of a mouthy teen?
Mama are you sure you’re not stressed and depressed?
Maybe you need somebody to talk to?


Mood changes when you’re a teen. Hanging out with friends all the time is normal at that age. What isn’t okay is that she swore so comfortably when talking to you. Sounds like she needs to be grounded? If you are truly concerned maybe see about her getting into therapy.

Keep burning sage and giving and sending love. Be happy, be the example.

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It’s goes with the whole teen girl thing. I raised two. She is just trying to test boundaries. Peers have a lot of influence on them too at this age. Spend time with her. Find out what she would like to do. Maybe have her invite a friend to come along. That way you can see what kind of influence friend has on her.

With all due respect, no sage, no oil, or anything will help with a mouthy disrespectful teenager. However being a parent first and friend second is your best option. Do not cry over this, better yet teach her to respect you and your home or else. This truly is normal for a teenager but don’t allow it! If you allow her to run over you now she will for the rest of her life. Their attitudes also are a reflection of the ones they hang around at times also so if the friend is negative and bringing negativity to your home then stop that immediately. You are the parent not her! You got this mama! We all have been through it but the sooner you set boundaries and put a stop to this the better.


Keep track of menstrual week, id remind mine that she starts next week and needs to be aware of her attitude, helped a lot.


Maybe something happened? Or something with school?

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I’m praying with you. I have 4 sons. And 1 girl, she is the 4th child…I am more afraid of her being a teenager coz she already like 1!!! She’s 4. Oldest is 15. He’s good. But yes so right…they have their moments…

11? You allow her to speak to you in that manner??? This is a you problem… you’re her mom. Take care of your business… old enough to know better.


I mean if you started burning a bunch of sage in the house without asking, I would have said worse.
While it is your house, if it affects the other people in your household, it’s common courtesy to talk about it.
As far as the cursing goes, if it bothers you, I would let her know that it bothers you, & that you just want her to not use that kind of language around you. I don’t get it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a boundary that can be respected. :black_heart:
Honestly I’d just ask your daughter if she would benefit from talking to somebody. Life is hard, & at that age you’re still learning so much, & it can be overwhelming sometimes. I mean realistically speaking, we’d probably all benefit from talking to a therapist in periods throughout our life.

All the best teenage girls can be savage, big hugs,


I feel like I’m one of the few teenagers that don’t cuss at their parent(s). I’m respectful to as many people as I can be, I take care of my grandma by myself, and still balance school. Sure it gets exhausting and I’ve also struggled severely with mental health. However, I wouldn’t think of ever cursing at my parent. She’s done a lot for me so the least I can do is help out and be respectful. I’ve given up so much to be a full time care giver to my grandma while other kids my age are out partying. Your daughter might be having some trouble at school, possibly not getting enough sleep, or she’s just irritated and doesn’t understand why. It’s hard being a teen, I try not to have the mentality of “if I can act this way so can everyone else” but it’s so hard. I live with my grandma so a lot falls on me. I do the laundry, I do the grocery shopping, I do the yard work, I maintain our appointments, I do the cleaning, I help her with bills since her memory isn’t always the greatest, I get her drinks and I cook our meals. I’ve also struggled with sh for 6 years. I’m 15, turning 16 in a month and I’ve handled all of this for a year. If I can do all of that, balance school, do a nursing program through my school which adds extra work, help my grandma, and try and keep up with my mental health and I can stay respectful 90% of the time I don’t think it should be an issue for everyone else. I’m not perfect by any means, and I make A LOT of mistakes. I will never, ever, curse at my parent, take advantage of her, or purposely be disrespectful. I don’t think it’s hard to be a decent human being. Talk to your daughter though. She might need you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but most times teenagers feel pressured to not go out or be nice to their parent(s) anymore because it’s “embarrassing”. I hold my grandmas hand in public and take pictures of us everywhere. Pretty sure SHE is the one embarrassed of me. :joy:


Pre teens and teenagers are soul sucking little brats, but it doesn’t last forever. They come back to you apologize and say those words you feel you’ve waited forever to hear “Mom you were right” Do a lot of praying God will help you through some of the rough rough nights to come. Plead the blood of Jesus over your house and your child/children and yourself. Ask him to give you the GRACE to get through it.

With all due respect you need to grow thicker skin if you’re raising a teenager. I have a 12-year-old, she’s not even a teenager yet but with all of her hormones raging if I cried every time she was mean to me I would be crying all day every day.


Check both of your period times. Women who live together often have periods around the same time.

Next go to your doctor and see if you are starting menopause. The crying all night is a good sign. See if you can get on some hormone meds.

Lastly, your daughter is acting like a normal teen.


Honestly at that age I was absolutely terrible. Hormones raging moods up and down it’s definitely normal but she should probably get some counseling and have an outlet like sports or something extracurricular so you can keep her out of trouble and she’s not constantly dumping all her negative emotions out at home. Therapy weekly & talk to the therapist about helping her develop some coping strategies and techniques to help express negative emotions in a healthy way & not directed at family members.

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I think the burning of sage is weird and says a lot, as far as your daughter she’s 11. Make her mind and don’t allow the attitude


She’s a stressed out teenager. She should watch her mouth. But she’s right! That stuff stinks so bad and gives me a headache!!


Mood swings …hmmm check out her friends and their homes… start asking or looking where she go and who she hangs out with… Idk test her for drug or alcohol activity… or maybe she just changing life …child to adulthood

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Give her omega 3, probiotics, and some kind of mood support for teenagers. It will help. Just be patient, listen to her and let it be. It will pass.

If you’re burning sage and she flipped out… it’s the demon in her trying to get out :japanese_ogre:

Try holy water next :joy::joy: just spray her down and see what happens


She could be overworked from school and burnt out
Idk if having a Counsellor could maybe help her process her feelings?

From what I read, she may be struggling with something especially if it was a sudden mood change from happy to sad… Alot of people tend to play it down and say she’s just being a teenager… I pay attention to the non verbal cues my kids do and say…try talk to her or create a safe space where she feels comfortable to open up… Please don’t write it off as teenage angst


Ma’am She’s a teenager!!! I think most of us went through that phase, shoot I know I personally gave my mom lots of grey hairs :face_with_peeking_eye::grimacing: also, I personally HATEEE the smell of sage


Tbf sage does smell like shit :joy:
Also what’s wrong with hanging out with her friend at home?
Would you prefer them going out and getting in trouble?

Hell is not that bad of a word it could’ve been way worse! Has something happened at home, school? Maybe it would be beneficial for her to talk to someone. Being a teenager is hard. Is it that time of the month for her?

She’s 16… at 16 we all had attitudes and thought we were smarter than everyone else. It’ll pass.


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Ur the mom…nip it in the bud fast

Sage does absolutely stink when burnt though… probably does smell like h*ll.

To be fair, I think your going over the top. There’s plenty of other words she could of used to describe the smell of sage burning, I think she was being polite.


don’t buy sage. I was told that you should always collect it yourself (ask permission from the people of that land first! And always give back when you take) or trade for ir from your local reserve as that sage was picked with good intentions. aswell as your daughter is having a hard time trying to communicate with you just try and be open and listen even when she triggers you.

I had my mama crying all the time when I was in high-school and now I regret it so much… one day she’ll see.

Burn some incense wth sage u think ur daughter is the negative vibe. Mom guess where she got her Attitude from. They say ur daughter is 3 times as bad as u were​:rofl::rofl:

Who is the 11 year old in that house?

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Our son does not cuss either

Is she 11 or in the 11th grade? If 11 years old if she hasn’t she might be about to get her monthly cycle. Other than that just a teenager.

I’d limit her time with the best friend so it’s not every week, if you’re noticing she is more rude or irritable after spending time with him/her.
Most of it is just typical for her age. Just try to keep her busy with things she wants to do/likes to do but remind her that her grades must be kept up or the privileges go away. You could even let her get a little part time job. The extra spending money and freedom could help.

Crying because of the fact that she thinks that sage stinks? I’m sorry but that’s funny.

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Sage smells like sweat and onions to me sometimes. No, I don’t worship demons bc I’m not cringe lol, maybe take into account that ur daughter doesn’t have to be a carbon copy of you. You sound incredibly childish tbh

I would be concerned. Too big of age difference. Take her to a therapist.

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It’s typical 16 year old behavior. Kinda just gotta ride it out. Don’t fight her, try to work with her, cooperate and make agreements. Eventually she’ll be able to confide in you and you can help improve her life.

Yeah…I’m still going through it and mine is 26!:woozy_face:

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She has no respect for you or anyone! Wood shed! :wood:


Sounds like something us troubling her. Maybe a heart to heart talk. My daughter never did this

The sage irked her spirit? :eyes::eyes::rofl:. Sounds like it did its work :face_with_hand_over_mouth:


I wouldn’t take it personally, maybe the smell does bug her if she hasn’t been around it much. Maybe explain to her why you’re burning it, as for the language she could be saying a lot worse, and is most likely feeding off the negative attention you give her when she used those words. Try ignoring the bad behavior and not giving her fuel to feed the fire. As long as she’s not hurting herself or others or doing anything illegal it’s 100% okay to ignore the swearing.

Are you asking if she’s possessed? Because if you are, I have a firm belief that all 16 year olds are🤣
I wasn’t 16 too long ago, and I probably wasn’t much different from her. Growing up is hard. The brain is developing, your bodies changing, and high school sucks🤷🏼‍♀️ Maybe just give her a journal and say “this is yours for your feelings. I won’t read it unless you give me permission to, but you need an outlet”

She learnt the language from somewhere. Tell her to try to use nicer and kinder words instead of just straight away swearing. To be fair sage smells bad to some people so could have genuinely smelt like absolute sh!t to her.

Maybe she has something personal going on. Maybe try talking to her

Sage the shit out of her room when she’s gone.

That doesn’t sound like attitude to me? Sounds like a genuine question :joy:


sorry what’s abnormal about any of this?


Is she on social media a lot. There seems to be a pattern with social media and teens problems.

(No hate speech. Just a suggestion. I know this is not true for all teens.)


It’s not acceptable for her to talk to you like this . At this age it’s normal to see if their boundaries have changed. She’s too old for dolls yet too young for the nightlife. It’s a very confusing age to know ere you fit, but you need to explain to her she needs to respect you and your expectations of her.


Doesn’t sound like attitude. Sounds normal. I’d be irked too


Sounds like you have a teenager :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

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I think she told what her struggle is. She said year 11 is a lot of pressure. I remember year 11 and 12 were horrid, it’s even more competitive now a days

Sounds like your typical teen

They go feral at about 13


Everyone saying she is a teen like thats a reason to be disrespectful. :woman_shrugging:t2:That would NOT happen in my house. My oldest is almost 10 and noway would I allow that. Im not even strict but rude is rude. We cant keep blaming hormones for disrespect. Get ur head out of ur butt. Thats why this generation has gone to hell :woman_facepalming:t4:I guess its easier for some to blame hormones than to really put their foot down.

Sounds like she is telling you she needs more suport with school. Also at that age it’s a power struggle for dominance of the home

I mean it does smell like shit tbh

My mom told me I was sunshine and rainbows until I turned 11. Haven’t been the same since, according to her. :joy:

It’s supposed to ward off demons and bad spirits yeah obviously they gonna be complaining if you burning it around them. At least it works.

Empowering parents is a great online resource