First of all report the gf for statutory rape and sex with a minor. Restraining order for her through the court. If she breaks it or comes with in so many feet of your brother, she is arrested on the spot. He needs an ass kicking and committed to an inpatient rehab, a social worker. CPS can be helpful. Unfortunately to get him help you have to ask for help. Reach out to the doctor or his school like a teacher. If he does anything like threaten to end his life, you can call the police or sheriff and tell them he is a danger to himself and others you are afraid he will harm himself or others and you need to place him under a 5150 72 hour pysch hold, because he is a minor, he should be released under a psychiatric facility where he can be monitored. Good luck.
I know you had said you have a child and you live on your own, and it is smart to keep her away while all of this is happening. Your brother is causing havoc making it unsafe place for your mom and sister. Good luck to you and your family. I was once in your shoes. 19 years ago. It didnt end until i was 23 and that is only because my brother finally got sober. He now has 13 years and is the best brother ever. He found a god concept and had a full support system to help.
What state are y’all in? I’d look up the age of consent for it. While federal age of consent is 18, the state probably won’t care if you happen to live in one that says 16. However, most states have rules about age gaps also and only 2 seem to say max age gap of 5 years. I’d look up age gap laws and whatnot in your state and hopefully be able to handle that situation that way. No matter the age of consent the woman is still an adult with a minor and that’s gross. As for his behavior, military school, boot camp, hell see if there’s a “scared straight” type program you could send him to. Your mother shouldn’t have to be dealing with that nonsense on top of battling cancer.
Send him to boot camp and get that 22 yr old put under the jail. Sometimes putting the kids in the system doesn’t work bc he will need rehabilitated to be a productive member of society. ( just speaking on my own personal experience with it)
Sounds like blackmail. Get the law to keep him away till he gets his act 2gether
Sounds like he’s having a hard time at school. I would look into alternative learning options!! It saved me from being a high-school drop out becuase of all the stress you have to deal with regarding social dramas
Can you call social services and say it’s the child abusing the adult and you fear for her health due to her medical state rn?
I’d be calling cops and lawyers for advice.
This getting bad.
Ring authorities & get him taken away for help certify if necessary out of control!
Time for your mum to get rid of him. Call the police
Call the cops and have him in juvenile detention, get a peace order for that gf. Get court orders for the other people. You do it,if she won’t.
Get him counciling to get his life in order.
Send him off. Have him put in a home. Get him help. Quit enabling him or he will never change.
Have her sign the house over to you temporarily. That was he can not have people in the house. If he gets angry then the police can be called by you. The girlfriend can be caught for having a relationship with an under age boy. I worry about your sister.
Wait did you say 22 year old girlfriend? Wow. Definitely call the cops, or send him off, detention centers. Maybe social services definitely check into all that stuff.
Maybe ring police explain what is happening when he goes off ring them they can take him out of the home and if I was you I would ring the police everytime you mum doesn’t deserve to be treated like that but sounds like he really needs a big wake up call no one deserve to be treated like and definitely not by your own child no respect just keep calling them until he gets it no more you have to ring because mum obviously has given up.fighting don’t blame her he needs to move out so your poor mum can have some peace get a restraining order if he keeps breaking that he will end up in jail I hate to say this but I think he needs that so he gets the point
Send his butt to boot camp, that should straighten his ass out, get girlfriend for statutory rape, she’s messing with a minor, time to hard on him, maybe he will straighten up
Military Boot Camp……Google Youth challenge academy and sign him up Asap
It sounds tough, but call the police when he’s out of control. This is his addiction. It will save his life to reach rock bottom.
Why you guys letting a 16 year old run your lives? His literally still a kid
Report the women to police and press charges. She a pedophile. Your mom needs stand up and tell him no is no and inless he earns it he doesn’t get money. Ih he threatened suicide or self harm call 911 and have him committed.
File charges for deliquency and unruly child for juvenile court system… turn in girlfriend for underage sexual imposition (depends on state consent age) and when juvenile don’t work she can award him to the courts and he can go to Boot camp military school or foster Care…
OR
Pack all his stuff and drop him off at Girlfriends House…
If he threatened to harm himself she can call police and have him sent out to phsyicatric unit for assessment to start his lesson off Right the FIRST go around… But…
The little sister is the one to worry About…
Make sure she isn’t learning These horrible, disrespectful antics…
Abusing elderly is a crime. Report him and have police arrest him. Can you take a picture of him abusing her, the people in the house and messes they make. Documentation seals your case.
I would call and report the self harm/suicide threats. He can be admitted to a mental hospital for 24-72 hour holds for monitoring. Being a minor your mom should put him in one. And the girlfriend is gross. Can’t do anything about that though I guess unless you can prove she’s having sex with him. Honestly change the locks and have her set a curfew. Doors get locked at that time and will not be opened till morning. He’s late guess he’s sleeping outside. Harsh but he needs to learn. She needs to make it known He can have one MAYBE two friends over, but no drinking. If they start smoking or she knows they are drinking call the police 
. I understand not wanting to bring your daughter over cause I wouldn’t want to- but I also couldn’t stand knowing what he’s doing. And I’d let that be known. You and the kid(s) being around might just “kill his mood” enough to get him to stop doing those things in the house. Contact the school and ask for a social worker. If he’s not going to school she needs to tell him he needs to pay rent and you need to make sure she’s not giving him any money. If he threatens her report him for elderly abuse (obviously only if that applies) since she’s currently recovering from a surgery.
Your mom needs help with tough love. He sounds like he needs rehabilitation but it won’t work unless he agrees that he has a problem. When my daughter brought people over that I felt were dangerous to us, I called the police and said they were trespassing. When she stole and used my credit card, I pressed charges. You might want to go with your mom to an al anon or nar anon meeting . Youll both find support there
I’d be turning his ass into hamburger. I am that big sister that had to discipline my little brother. I did eventually move out. I was 11yrs older. He was a hell cat on wheels after I left. My mom actually had to give custody to the state to get him help. He turned his life around. Took several yrs. Totally different kid. Not kid now 30. But he doesn’t drink or do drugs. Works. I’d be calling the cops and having his ass locked up. No way in hell would I let him treat my Mom or little sister like that. No way in hell.
Restraining order. She is in a domestic violence situation she may not realise it but she is. Intimidation, threats of violence, verbal & mental abuse, there is financial control & witholding placing her home at risk…all come under IPV/DV behaviours you screen for. As you are aware these outbursts are not just isolated to your mum, other family members are subjected to this intimidation also.
Concern also must be for your younger sister who I assume is a minor. Strangers are coming into the home drugs and alcohol also make for a volatile mix that quite easily become explosive and out of control.
The more power & control he gains the higher the chances are this situation could become a fatal scenario. She needs to approach the police IPV/DV unit for assistance.
You also need to discuss a plan with your mum and sister that only you three know so if they need help you will know how to get it without putting the three of you in danger.
- Call Police report the pedo.
- As soon as he threatens self harm call 911 and have him admitted to the hospital
- Talk to the Police at Local Police station and tell them what is happening.
- Ring the Police every time he is violent
Not sure if anyone realises that he’s a troubled young man and needs help. Addiction is a disease and he needs help. Has anyone tried to get him professional help and that 22 year old should know better. She needs to be reported. Throwing him out isn’t the answer. You’re just going to send the issue somewhere else. Speak to you GP and get his advice first. Good luck 
Put him in foster care tbh he needs to be helped by someone else
I’d be speaking to a social worker at the hospital seeing what there advice is…. My personal advice is… Getting the 22 year old put in jail if possible as thats wrong on so many levels. In my opinion your brother unfortunately needs a very quick and harsh wake up call to get him out of his own selfish world where the world revolves around him. As that behaviour is disgusting and jail seems like a good place to wake him up and for him to sober up🤞🏼 I wouldn’t be taking my daughter/son there either it’s not a safe environment. But I’d be telling my mum that I understand your sick but enough is enough now… your an adult you want to not turn your back on your out of control son that’s fine but my sister is not growing up in this toxic unsafe environment and removing my sister from there to live with me as she would be traumatised and if she continues to live in that environment that will all become acceptable to her even if she knows it’s wrong.
Tough situation and I feel for you and my heart breaks for you… proud of you for reaching out for advice. Keep your head up your doing great 
This is one reasons why national service should be brought back, sounds like a right spoilt brat. 22 year old gf she’s a peado hes 16 not an adult report to police. Sending love and strength to your mam you and sister, be cruel to be kind he needs a sharp wakeup call, he needs to go to some form or therapy for hes anger issues ect. Stay strong stick to your guns yous got this
everyone says a 22 yr old woman with a 16 yr is gross and she should be arrested but i disagree. You can have a girlfriend and not have any sexual relations with her . Age of consent is only for anything related to sex not playing video games or movie watching together. Obviously he needs to get some help whether it’s law enforcement coming in and arresting him so he gets the help he needs or it might be boot camp. Your mom you, anyone should cut him off of anything financial. while he is getting help for the longest time possible , Take you, your child, your mom and little sister on a vacation far away from him as physically possible if you can afford it and can miss work. Because they definitely deserve it after all they been through. As for his personal items maybe leave him a few things in case he needs it like a couple of shirts, pants, a jacket and maybe some shoes with no laces. Everything else like his electronics, other clothes, everything in his room, sell it and use that money for either vacation or to renovate the house
I have experience in this situation, I grew up with my grandparents and their youngest son was like this from a young age. My grandmother couldn’t bring herself to be tough on him by cutting him off after the years and years of help and support we all tried to provide. He’s now in his 40’s and in prison for besting them up and burning our house down while they were initially inside after he didn’t get his own way… my younger sister was also in the house and we’re all still dealing with the trauma while my grandparents blame themselves for not putting a stop to it sooner.
Sometimes they need help and if he doesn’t get help and wake up to himself, he’ll end up just the same.
Bipolar? Inpatient psych?
Well first of all this 22 year old girlfriend need to go call cops thats stat rape he’s a minor. Second he’s a minor speak to a social worker or dcfs worker and get him into a drug and alcoholic problem or maybe anger management. Since your poor mom is so sick that is called neglect on his part i believe and abuse towards his mother. Start getting police reports involved maybe an order of protection. Is there a man on the family who can step to him and pit him in his place?
Good luck and lots of prayers for you and ya family especially your mom.
Let his disobedient butt go to juvenile or jail whatever it takes
Call the cops, press charges and get him in front of a judge, request help and see what programs are offered like military based where he learns self control and respect. I know no one wants to go this route but it needs to be done. It will give everyone peace and him a new attitude. That military will make a man real quick.
Report him for elderly abuse don’t leave him alone with your mom. Document everything he does and keep reporting him. He has not right bringing in anybody! Sounds like meth. Get him OUT dont care if he is just 16 he knows better and no respect for his mom or family. Last thing she needs is him taking from her and not helping. 
You and your mother need to set yourself free.
He will do what his doing to he harm himself seriously or grows the feck up.
A safe way is to change the way you deal with him as u cant change him, it’s not your job it’s his recovery.
I feel for your Mum and u
My daughter and I have gone through something similar.
My son is lost and does not know it like your brother.
I needed to accepted that person that i use to know doesnt insist at the moment he may never be. He is not the person I knew. He is a different person for now or mayb always.
This is actually such a sad situation 
similar situation with my brother. We can only help so much. He lost himself at 17 and than worked on himself around 26. Hes 29 now, owns his own landscaping business, has a girlfriend who is stable and works every day with no drug use anymore.
I pray for you snd your family
I agree with everything Margaret Love & most of the ladies here said… I don’t know if he was acting this way BEFORE your mother’s cancer diagnosis or if this is new behavior, but there is a possibility that with her cancer diagnosis he is feeling helpless and out of control and his actions are a way of him “coping” in a very unhealthy manner… He needs therapy at the VERY least… but he may just be crying out for stability and structure in a very backwords type of way. I agree that boot camp is something that may just whip his butt into shape and give him the structure and direction that he needs in his life.
I would have a heart to heart with him and explain to him how his actions are affecting everyone who loves him and making your Mother’s battle with cancer that much more challenging. She needs support and positivity right now and the way he is acting out is doing nothing for her recovery. This kind of stress can absolutely lead someone to an early grave. A friend of the family just had a stroke because of the immense stress her adult adddict son is putting her through, and she was otherwise healthy. This kind of stress takes a very heavy toll on the body, especially someone battling cancer who already has a weakened immune system. He needs an intervention from his family. Just let him know how much he is loved and how his behavior is affecting everyone’s lives negatively. Explain that boot camp is not a punishment, but a last ditch effort to give his life the direction and structure that he seems to be lacking and subconsciously crying out for.
Depending on the age of consent in your state, you could talk to the girlfriend and let her know that what she is doing is inappropriate and a crime. He is a child in the eyes of the law still and she is an adult. If ahe continues to contact your brother you will haave no choice but to call the police and file a report. Maybe just the knowledge that there is family willing to report her will be enough to scare her away.
I feel so bad for your situation, but something definitely has to be done or your little sister is going to head down the same path. I wish you & your family peace and healing & hope that you take the advice you are given and move forward with the suggestions before he gets any older. You were given some solid advice by the ladies here. Good luck.
Sounds like he needs a bloody slap!! And that “gf” sounds alot like a PEDO report BOTH of them and get your mum the peace she needs! Do not sit bk n hope someone else sorts it out your poor mum 
From a mom who knows some ways you can help as a sister came well …A he’s crying out for attention.
B. Give it to him next time you know he’s their acting a fool call the police send them over.
then you tell them during that call he’s seeing a 22 yr old women we’ve asked her to stay away she won’t he keeps it destroying my mother home she’s very ill.
Simple fact is think of you’re kid acting like this.
Prayers you got this just do what’s best their some are ways stay strong.
Tell her to call the police everyday that he’s at her house after a few calls they will put him in juvenile for boys but she needs to keep calling them every time he comees there an does 1 little thing wrong .she can’t keep going through this sending prayers
Call the cops next time tell him you aren’t playing around and your done with his shit. Maybe it will scare him straight.
Where is the dad in this situation?
The son needs to be removed from the home. Send him to his dad. Or get the police. He is self destruction with no appreciation for his family. The girlfriend needs to go. She may be providing him with drugs as well as being a pedophile.
This is so fucked up, and I really personally hate to say this, but… For your mom, she needs to let the gf come over and call the police for statutory. Tell them at the same time that yiu are worried he will hurt you because he is knowm to try. Then when he violently outbursts, you need to call the police again and tell them that he is on drugs and is voilent and you are scared for your and your daughter’s life and well being. They at that point will force him into court ordered mental health/addiction counseling. Press charges on the gf. And you, as big sister, even though it is not something you want to be involved in especially if you have kids of your own and simultaneously working and adulting, you are the only force that can think straight in a time like that and back up your words, and protect your mom and sister while also saving your brother. Call the police, every time he says somwthing violent, every time he takes money, every time he forces your mom to do things she doesn’t want to, because Thats all abuse and the best thing you could do is papwr trail it ALL. Once yiu have enough evidence filed with yje poloce station, the ball is in your court. He is a minor still, and as a minor, can still be involuntarily admitted to rehab facilities and mental health by his family, as long as you stay string by your moms side and act as a witness to what she has been going through. Make sure that you remimd yoir mom that she needs to do this for HIM. Because if she loves him and wants to protect him, she needs to get him the help he needs, and that starts with a paper trail.
My teenager battles depression. Maybe he needs Drs to help him be well. I was troubled teenager too i used drugs. Turns out i suffer from mental health conditions. He prob wont want to go. Bribe him the 1st time if you have too(i had to give $$ get mine to go 1st time). Was worth it tho hes doin better
I just wanna say GET THAT FEMALES WITH MESSING WITH A MINOR!!! SHE KNOWS BETTER SHE IS 22 YEARS OLD!!! ALSO sounds like maybe he has trauma from something maybe get him into therapy or taking him to a facility where he can be on 72 hour surveillance so they can figure out what’s wrong but please please get that grown woman away from your brother that is rape if they are doing anything he is still a minor and she’s grown she knows she’s doing wrong I’d get that handled
What that boy needs is a good ol’ ASS WHOOP’N!!!
Call the law and fund out if age difference between him and girlfriend is legal. That may get rid of her. I dont know how young your sister is but cps may come remove her if things are out of control. Call youth services and see what course of action can be taken against your brother. Prayers for yall.
Next time he becomes violent she needs to call the cops. Get him put in juvie. Talk to them about forcing him into counseling/therapies.
First off he needs a good old fashioned butt kicking. Second file serial assault of a minor charges on that nasty child molester, even at 16 they a parents consent. Third send his butt to boot camp for out of control kids. The military will get his butt in shape. If you don’t get this handled now it’s only going to get worse. Another option you have is juvenile detention center but most of the time that does more harm then good.
Cameras in the house, take evidence to police.
I’d be worried for the safety of my younger sister & my mother.
He may end up hurting them. Prayers he doesn’t.
This is so Sad.
Call the cops when he’s acting out cause it’s just a matter of time before he hurts one of them. Why hasn’t the gf been arrested cause she’s prolly a lot of the problem too?
Nothing, until she kicks him out.
Maybe he needs to be put away in a camp for troubled teens
Send his as$ to an inpatient behavioral hospital. I bet he get right
Can you move mam in with you and get her better and get the police or social services to take him away. Good luck and i hope your mam gets better soon.
Call the cops on the girl for starters.
Call the cops next time
Call Your department of child and family services, open a case for him to get help. We can get him in treatment, therapy, and try to help mom with the behaviors. Sounds like he needs some tough love and getting us involved wouldn’t be a bad thing
Every time this kid shows his business, call POLICE… Want to visit mom? Call police and get the house cleaned out!!!
I would say unruly charges brought against him next time. Maybe it would be a a wake up call for one. Second, he would be held accountable for his actions by a porale officer and the court. Your mom needs to recuperate from surgery. It literally is only a matter of time before he puts his hands on one of them if he hasn’t already. Yall need to do something.
I have a brother basically the same thing just a adult version with out a girl friend my mom refuses to get help for him try your best to get your mom to do the right thing and get the law involved when he becomes an adult things will become more difficult if it has to reach a point where CPS has to get involved for her to understand the situation before it’s too late for your sister I wish you all the best with the situation
She’s needs to get a f.i.n.s. (families in need of services) petition on him. Go to the juvenile officer and request one. He will have to answer to a judge for his behavior and the judge will set punishment. Also, where I’m at(Arkansas) if someone is under 18 but 16 or over, they can’t date anyone 24 months or older than them or is still statutory rape. Been thru all of this with my daughter a few years ago.
It should be legal to have some “jump out men” to handle kids like this. You want to torment ppl ok then let those table turn.
If he needs mental health help then open that door for him. If he takes the offer great if he doesn’t then next step. 16 and 22 is way more than a 3 yr difference…call the police and get her arrested and when he acts out cause she’s gone the police can haul his butt in also. Go to the hearing explain to the judge what’s happening and he or she will direct you in the best direction. Play your cards right and help this boy don’t give in to his threats and don’t be afraid to protect ur mom, ur sister, and yourself.
he is doing drugs in the house call the police
Police. He can go to juvenile hall.
Juvenile services. Have him removed from the house.
Throw him out the house change all the locks and get order of protection
Getting police involved is a good idea and leaves a paper trail so the judge will do something. Getting girlfriend in trouble will make matters worse because will make him angry. Definitely get family services involved to help your mom.
I’m not sure what the law is in you’re state, but in Florida we have wjats called a marchmin act. You go down to the courthouse and file some paperwork that cost $40 dollars. A judge will sighn the documents stating a court order to a detox and then rehab facility.
The paperwork you’ll get back from the judge is essentially a arrest warrant in a way…once you know where you’re brother is, call the sherrif with you’re paperwork and they will come out and transport him to the facility. This is a locked facility and he will not be aloud to leave. The petitioner (you) and him will have a courtdate to determine if he has lost the ability to function normally due to drug and alcohol abuse.
He will only be aloud to do the court date over the phone, because addicts are usually always a flight risk.
The judge will determine what kind and how long he will need treatment.
Usually anywhere from 2 to 18 months in rehab. If he left the rehab he would go straight to jail, where he would finish what time he would have had left in rehab…upon release he would be sent back to the program where he would have to start over.
He would have only 2 choices…stay in rehab or go to jail and then go back.
Sorry for the long message, I hope this helps. You can pm me if you had any questions
The GF an “friends” are a lot of your issue. Have them all served with trespassing warrants from the residence at least you can control that part. Then work on a plan as far as having him placed in a center for rehab or to live with another relative and receive some type of mental health and possible drug recovery as well…
There is this program called Youth challenge Academy. It saved my husbands life when he was a kid acting so similar to how you’re describing. It’s a type of military school. You need to Google this, and call them and explain everything you just explained here, they will help with the rest.
You need to call adult protective services! Their job is to handle this type
Of thing and your mom needs to start pressing chargers. Boundaries need to be set and not an inch given.
Call the cops. Every single time if you’re mom cannot physically handle him. Outburst? Call. Over aged girl over? Call cops. Friends smoking and drinking? Call the cops. He and her both will be arrested. Him for all the underage bs, and her for being a child molester
- Call the Police and CPS and file a Sexual Assault case against the GF. She is molesting a 16. 2. Also call DHHS and file an elder abuse case against your brother for Verbally and financially abusing your mom. 3. Get your extended family to rally this with you. 4. Your brother needs help and if he keeps on the road, he is on he will be in prison or dead. 5. Have your mom force him into rehab after he deals with the elder abuse case. He has to learn that there are consequences for one’s actions and doing all of this just may be saving his life. He is going to HATE all of you for a while but in the end, I think if you can get him in containment for a while, he will see the error of his ways. If not the only thing y’all can do is turn your back on him and let the State deal with him. Wishing you strength and perseverance during this awful ordeal and sending your mom healing light and love.
Call the police …my son was something like your bro and I finally call the cops. He went to jail for 4 months. He has not put his hands on me again.
Sorry to say but don’t think your brother will see 21
Call the abuse line for the elderly and disabled and have them investigate… tellnthem everything that is going on…
Yup, have him arrested
She’s got to start calling the police
Change all locks. Put restraining order. Tough love. Don’t back down.
Virginia Walker Depuy, does this hit home?
In most states 16 is considered a minor and his girlfriend is definitely an adult… she could be prosecuted for their relationship! Momma also needs to realize that she is responsible for his general health and welfare and needs to seek help for him as well as keeping this mess of a child and his friends away from the other child or children! CALL THE LAW on him for harassment, physical and mental abuse! Someone needs to step up and help this sickly woman! My goodness!!
You can make a report to Department of Juvenile Justice for “unruly child”. It would really help your mother mentally and spiritually. You can do it and they will keep you anonymous. Your mother maybe is not willingly able to do this herself mentally because it’s her child. Trust me, when it’s your child, it’s hard. The first step though is to break the connection to the 22 year old sex predator.
Get him sectioned ! He is being sexually abused by this girl and he’s acting crazy so get him sectioned maybe that’s the only way to get rid of the girlfriend what is she even interested in a 16 year old for !
You can call the and report this to DCBS and they will investigate, as to getting help for your brother I guess they could put him in juvenile until he is 18. The bottom line is if he does not want to help it’s going to be hard to force it on him but maybe give your mom a break for a while
First of all!! CALL THE COPS ON THE PEDOPHILE “GIRLFRIEND”!!!
Call the cops if he’s doing drugs or is violence. She needs to have him removed from the home. She can work with the school and courts on his truancy so he gets the charges not her. She has to stop giving him money she just enabling his bad behavior. Tell her to lock up her purse. On the girlfriend you might be able to get put her in jail for statutory rape however it depends on the laws and were your at in some states 16 can give consent and nothing can be done. Call cps as well.
Boot camp. He needs it.
Your mom needs alanon.
Put him behind bars easy
Press charges on the 22 yo, 3 year age difference is a felony. See if your state has a scared straight program through the jail or prison.
Call the police make his life hell, he’s 16 she’s 22 that’s illegal! He will hate yall now but love ya in the long run. Tough love. Everyone needs tough love now and them.
File charges on girlfriend one . Second throw his butt in Juvy or military school .
Your mom needs to pray a whole lot, and call his bluff. Put her foot down by setting boundaries. There is always a boot camp to put his butt in. Your mom is not supposed to be his friend she’s his parent. He’s not supposed to like her right now. Tell the girlfriend charges are going to be filled against her.
Turn custodial rights over to the court, Tell them he’s incorrigible and she can’t control him
As for the girlfriend she can get in big trouble for statutory rape she’s over the age of 18 and he’s only 16 talk to a legal aid lawyer