My husband and I always talked about 3-4 kids before we got married. We now have two (1 boy, one girl), and since our daughter was born about a year ago, we have been content with the two and have both said we are done. Lately, I’ve been thinking twice about being done, and I really want to give my daughter a sister or just have a third, but when I talked to my husband about it tonight, he said he’s a 99.9% hard no and is happy with what we have, and he’s done. He also said, “never say never,” but that’s so broad, and I’m a planner and want to get going if he’s willing to have another, which sounds like he’s not. My question is, how much different or difficult is two versus 3? What are some convincing talking points?
Listen to your husband.
Its clear he dont want another
You don’t convince him, you listen to what he is telling you and then readdress it later on by having a civil conversation with him.
I mean you can try talking about it again eventually. But I wouldnt try to make him change his mind about it.
It’s clear he doesn’t want one. Don’t force him.
Listen to what he’s telling you, and don’t push the subject
You need to respect your husband’s decision.
Don’t force him if it happens naturally then it happens
Why does that seem like the same post from the other day that got so much heat. Only altered a smidge. Lol
And if he were the one nagging you to have another one, it’d be an issue.
I went for #3 and got twins … definitely hectic to say the least …
Listen to your husband. He loves what you guys have now and I personally wouldnt push the issue, I know pushing it would just PUSH my husband further into a “no”… From experience, 2 vs 3 is NIGHT and day…right now, yall arent outnumbered…once you are it’s a whole new ballgame.
Plus, 3 sets of school supplies, clothing, toys, etc.
And trying to evenly divide time and attention…its harder than you think its gonna be.
My mother says going from 2 to 3 was incredibly hard. 1 child always feels left out…
Family planning is about much more than if both parents agree or disagree about having more. For us, it was about the time and finances. We stopped at two because our boys keep us pretty busy with school and hockey. Financially we stopped because hockey costs a ton of money and we still want to provide a nice life for our kids.
Don’t try to “convince” him. He will hate you in the end. Period. You will all suffer. He is doing the right thing by being honest with you. If he changes his mind tell him to let you know, but that you respect his feelings and APRRECIATE his honesty.
Tell him you want the D NOW.
TELL HIM GET INTO THE BEDROOM LMAO
Not that difficult I had 2 then I had my third it’s really about adjusting their schedules that will work for you n them.
If it’s not planned it usually happens.
If I had a boy and a girl I’d stop. Lol…However…have two girls and going to try one more time next year for a boy… Can try to leave him alone and talk about it again in a few months,but I wouldn’t push it.
Depends on the age gaps. The 2nd child is always the left out 1 but I had 3 sons before I tried for my last and it was a girl so the 2 in the middle end up being best buds but also hate each other. The 1st and youngest are the golden children.
Not saying I want my oldest and youngest to be the golden children but it happens even when u don’t see it. I do make time for all my children but it can be hard coz you feel bad but it is hard. Having 4 is acually like having 2.
Don’t try and force or convince him. It wouldn’t feel good if you were 100% no and he tried to convince you. You can definitely tell him how you feel and have conversations about it but don’t keep trying to push it.
Ummm i think No means No. Not I’m open for discussion.
Let him know you are open to the idea of having another baby incase he ever changes his mind and respect it.
Your daughter is only a year which I’m assuming your son is a little older … let them have time to grow and have fun with just mommy and daddy before you put another one in the mix and make your son feel left out … babies need alot of attention that im pretty sure your son isn’t getting right now because the baby needs more from you then he does … you have one of each already spoil the ones you got get the baby out of diapers and then maybe if you still want another one trying bringing it back up with your hubby … who knows by then maybe you won’t want another one and he will
I got three. It has been a blessing to be honest. But the first two is 8 and 7, boy and girl. My 5 month old is a girl. They dote on her and help me. It was harder having them two close together than having the third. As long as you have support it’s fine I think. she slots in
I’m a planner too but sometimes you can’t plan things, you have to feel if it’s right and he isn’t feeling it so no pressures for now. Just go with the flow and as time goes on and you still ache for 3 then have the serious talk about it and how you feel. Good luck xxx
Omg seriously… no just no… there is absolutely nothing anyone could ever say to me to convince me to have another baby and I am sure my fiance would say the same thing. If you truly want another baby in your life do it the right way and let your husband know and if he absolutely doesn’t want another then you need to walk from the marriage or accept it.
I was told once they start outnumbering you it gets way tougher. And I believe it. We have one, and I find that tough enough.
I always tell people to stay at 2 lol but my 3rd is my hardest kid so…
There is nothing more special than having a baby. If you have want another one, well, that is how you feel and I can respect that! However, being married you need to move in unison. If he is sure he doesn’t want another one you should try to look at the positives of stopping at two. Definitely not going to give advice on how to change someone’s mind.
Why have your daughter a sister but not your son a brother?
Reverse roles. Would you want him pressuring you to have another if you were done? Your opinion and feelings arnt all that matters.
The transition to 3 was the absolute hardest and it’s been 4 years and I’m still struggling to adjust . They are 21 months and 19 months apart. The youngest always gets left out so he has been glued to my hip.
You can’t say anything to convince him. I have a 3 year old boy and 19 month old girl. 20 months apart. Sometimes my husband talks like he may want more and so do I, but when we weigh it out we are almost 100% sure we don’t want another. Right now it’s a hard no and we are very happy with just our two, but yes it’s a possibility in the future. Having such young toddlers it’s hard to think of another but maybe as they get older your husband may reconsider. My husband and myself feel that way anyway.
Girl if he don’t want any don’t push it his opinion and thoughts matter also it takes 2 to make a baby
Currently preg with # 5! All my kids are 8,9,5, and 3.5! The 5 yr old is the only boy however they are all best friends and I could not see life without any of them. It’s hard but if you are consistent and have a schedule and a plan for all of them than it’s pretty easy. Can’t wait for # 5!! Hoping for another boy. Have a few drinks one night an see what happens…lol…jk. he could change his mind, just make him see how great they are!
Your youngest is a year. Maybe let him wait another year or 3 and revisit the topic. Maybe he wants them spread out in age.
Going for 3 got me 4!
I have 3 and they all have been a blessing.
Going from 2 to 3 was sooo easy! Having a little one as you g as yours won’t be terrible because she should be almost 2 if not 2 by the time baby is born. My oldest 2 have a 2 1/2 year gap and it’s perfect! Now with a newborn it’s pretty easy. I see every baby as a beautiful blessing. It’s only as hard as you make it.
Going from 2 to 3 was waaaaay harder than 1 to 2 for me. I would take his no at face value and leave the subject open so if he ever changes his mind he can be comfortable bringing it up.
I had 4, going from 2 to 3 was easy for me, the older two helped with the little one, they are now adults and are very close
Someone once told me that 1 to 2 is hard but 2 to 3 is easier dependent on the age gap and if 1&2 are at certain ages they’ll be in school, and able to play and entertain themselves if needs be… just my personal opinion xx
Going from 2 to 3 is crazy. Of course they are all blessings but everything literally requires more effort and resources. Math dont fail and you do have less time for each one of them
If he doesn’t want any, respect that! Who spends the most time with the kids?
2 was amazing, 3… don’t recommend. Listen to your husband and enjoy having more time and money to spoil your two. 3 gets way outta hand lol.
2 vs 3 is really not different just louder and breaking up fights.
I was married in the catholic church and in the premarital counseling the priest told us that as long as one spouse desires for more children then they should agree to more. It is seen as more of a sacrifice to not have a child and want one rather than to have one when you’re content. Obviously everyone has their own opinions but I agree with what the priest and the church counsels. It is easier for a spouse who has 1 or 2 and is content than a spouse who really desires and yearns for another child. That’s a personal decision between the couple but I’m glad it was brought up and talked about with us before we married. They also say you never regret having another but you may regret not having another.
You want to have another child to give your daughter a sister? How do you know it will be a girl? Also what about your son?
The man doesn’t want anymore!!! You can’t force his hand! Leave him alone.
I have 3! Girl, boy and then another girl aaaall 5 years apart. DONT DO IT! it’s soooo hard going from 2-3
In our family my sister & I took care of our 3 youngers. Don’t though if your excuse is to give your daughter a sister. There aren’t any guarantees so you may have a boy. Attention usually goes to the eldest then youngest so daughter will be the middle child getting less individual attention. Doesn’t mean it won’t work out.
Give it a few more years, he probably wants to get out of toddler stage before considering another one.
If he only wants 2 then respect that and don’t try to push anything on him. Don’t try to convince him or keep on. He knows you’re want another one by now I’m sure so leave it be and if he changes his mind he can let you know. It’s not just what you want, he’s got a choice in it as well, respect him and what he wants. You’d want him to do that for you so why not him?
now if this was the opposite and the man was forcing the woman to have more, would you all be replying the way you are now?
Be Thankful with a boy and I girl. I know couple wanting a child and no luck. A boy and a girl ? How lucky!!!
You already tried convincing him and he said no. Studies show you shouldn’t have more kids than are adults around because they don’t get proper attentiion. Attention is everything to children. You should just raise your two unless he ever comes around on his own to wanting another or you will cause fights in your marriage by nagging about another.
I found transition between child 2 & 3 the hardest. I have 7 yrs between each of my kids. Num 3 was the worst of lot
You have your wants too and what you want is important!!! As long as your not trying to get pregnant without him knowing your doing nothing wrong! Don’t listen to these women that are trying to make you feel bad because you want a baby.! It’s normal and your allowed to talk to your partner about you wanting more! And your allowed to try to change his mind I’m sure they try to convince their husbands/ boyfriend to do a lot of life changing things
I have 4 the first 3 are 2 years apart 12 10 8 and I also have a 2 year old if you can handle 2. The 3rd isn’t much different just louder and more fighting.
1 to 2 was harder in my opinion. 2 to 3 was nothing! I also love children and would have a house full If I could. Personally, I feel you can handle whatever you choose to handle. I do think you should put yourself in your SO shoes. Have a conversation, ask why and get an honest answer and talk it out. Having another child is definitely a team decision unless you aren’t gonna have the next with him.
My husband and I went thru this. We had a boy and a girl and I thought I was done. Then we went back and forth with another baby. First one of us wanted another and then the other. Five years later we both agreed. By then I wanted 2 more but hubs said one more. It was great! No harder with 3 than with 2.
Why is everyone " if he really wants 2 then respect that"
#1 they discussed 3-4 prior to being married. Like it wasn’t a surprise I want more kids.
Stop sacrificing your happiness to make others happy.
Why can’t he be the one to suck it up?
Depending on ages of children can have a lot to do with how difficult it could be or not be, going my from 1 to 2 or 2 to 3. My first were really close and were 3 and 4 when I had my 3rd. It was overwhelming at times, mainly because they were pretty busy, rambunctious boys. If the kids are old enough to help out in any way and maybe do some things for themselves, 3 isn’t so bad. Yall definitely need to be on the same page though. You don’t want resentment. What you want is important as well and maybe now just isn’t the right time.
Lucky you have one of each enjoy be blessed and love them
I have 6 kids and one on the way my kids are 11 9 7 4 2 and 1 years old. If you have a schedule it works. We love our big family. I had 3 kids before I met my husband and I was 21 and single with them and it was great I loved it BUT that being said they are still alot of work and if your husband doesnt agree please dont try to convince him. Before my husband and i had any of our kids together is was a major discussion. It took over a month to make our decision aswell.
Sorry but I’m with hubby. 2 kids are a lot to handle. Boy girl no more choices. You got it all.
Once you have 2, adding an extra 1 or 10 doesn’t change a thing! I have 8 and babys #3 and 4 being twins so adding to the family isn’t the problem, the problem is, your hubby does not want more.