What do I do about my husband being a mamas boy?

I understand why he’s such a mommas boy due to his awful past… And I love my MIL very much but shewww… even at almost 30 years old it gets to be to much. When we moved back to our home state after being stationed in Texas we had to live with her for a little bit so we could find somewhere to live. I started my new job having to work 50 hours a week, and my husband was waiting to start college so we decided it would be best for him to not work… well my MIL told my husband it was fine for us to stay there but I would have to clean up after all of us… meaning me, my kids and my husband. Which duh, that’s expected and something I do naturally, except she literally means for just ME to clean up after us and not having my husband or kids help clean up after themselves when they’ve made a mess… even when I was working 50 hours a week. Oh and on top of that she wanted ME to be the one giving all the baths and cooking dinner and the whole 9 yards. Thankfully my husband is NOT this way and helps me so much and we will not raise our children to be this way and teach them to clean up after themselves and teach them some independence but it gets under my skin because she’s always expecting me to be the one doing things. Please tell me I’m not the only one who goes thru this with my MIL… this is only one example out of many.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What do I do about my husband being a mamas boy?

If he still helps and it’s not all on you why does it matter, you are staying there for free so just over look her. She’s definitely wrong but seems like a pick your battle situation.

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Just ignore her and keep doing what your doing :heart:
Hopefully you can move out soon and run your house the way you like
Good luck

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She probably did it for her husband . Let her know times have changed since then .

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Just tell her with all do respect unless he’s working and your not then he has to help

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Just tell her in front of everyone that while that might have worked for someone else that’s not how you and your husband work. Thank her for teaching him that it’s not all “womens work” and that you are thankful for all of his support with basic things and kids.

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Don’t listen to her. Sounds like he isn’t either. Also your husband isn’t helping you he’s doing his share of the load bc your partners. He’s their parent he should be pulling 50% of those duties anyways.

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Nothing. You married him knowing it.:100::heavy_heart_exclamation:

Give him back to his mama!

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Good for your husband to be helping. She is from a different era! We are not June Cleavers anymore and we don’t use the old manuals of how to take care of house and home and our husbands anymore!

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She sounds old school whereas the woman was expected to do all the running of the household including cooking, cleaning and child rearing while the man was the sole bread winner. The woman wasn’t “allowed” to work. Well MIL needs to be reminded that those days are long gone and a good marriage these days are a 50/50 deal. Let her know that you and her son have your own relationship under control and have mutually agreed on the arrangements and for her not to worry herself about it. Get your own place as soon as you can before your in-law relationship goes south…which it will if you stay too long :woman_shrugging:t3:

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If he’s got your back and is still doing things the way you both agreed upon that’s not really him being a mama’s boy. That’s her still treating him like a child. Also women from that generation usually didn’t work and did take care of everything in the house soooo. Just let her know in a respectful way that times have changed

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Honestly it doesn’t seem like he’s a mama’s boy. It Honestly seems she still has the mindset of the wife taking care of house and kids. But your husband isn’t listening so honestly I wouldn’t let it bother you. If it starts to, get your own place :woman_shrugging:

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Get yourselves together and move, then you don’t have to hear her anymore. That’s really all you can do because in her house she will see it as “her house her rules” and you will go through more and more.

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It’s great that he helps you, some older woman have that mentality unfortunately, the wife does it all and in todays world that doesn’t work for families. Talk with your husband and see if he can have a conversation with his mom regarding the same and start looking for a place of your own!

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That’s not him being a momma’s boy, that’s just a crappy ignorant woman. Work on getting out of there and you won’t have to worry about her comments. You said he pulls his weight around the home so that’s great. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I’m confused. You MIL wants to baby your husband, but your husband doesn’t allow it… he actually acts like a husband/father and not a mamas boy… so what’s the issue?

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That doesn’t sound like he’s a Mama’s boy, a Mama’s boy is a man that relies on his mom to do everything for him
Sounds like she’s just a bitch and doesn’t like you

Get out before you ruin your relationships

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:woman_shrugging: As long as your husband is a stand up guy and pitches in and helps out. Why aggravate yourself with your MIL opinions and wishes? Just tell her that’s not how WE choose to live when she makes those statements and then keep it moving, live how you want.

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Some nationalities do this,

Give him back to his mama then :rofl::rofl:

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No house big enough for two women - moving is the answer

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This is 2022. Not 1952.
She wants all that done, tell her she can do it.

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Move out of her house as soon as you can and then run your life and household the way you want.

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Remind her that you’re her daughter in law, not the house slave, and everyone is responsible for themselves in life. Say it in a funny way. Shake her hand and say, “Hi ! I’m name’s working wife, not the house slave, but I’m happy to pick up after myself.” Is she jealous that you have a career and she wasn’t allowed to? She might be taking out her disappointment on you. Encourage her to volunteer, get a job of some kind, fight for a cause or a candidate, take classes or workshops on whatever catches her interests now, or take up that hobby she’s always wanted to. It’s never too late!

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Keep housing situations separate at all times. Keep those boundaries . N since your man isn’t like this I would ignore her 1950s way of thinking.

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Find your own home fast

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She sounds like a lunatic but if the kids and your husband clean up after themselves because they know that’s what right then I would just ignore her and keep it moving. If he’s doing it anyway he’s not a mamas boy she’s just weird.

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Move, no matter the cost.

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Sounds like the mother in law is kinda stuck in the 50s when women did everything

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Move!!! If you two were in your own home you wouldn’t have to go through that. Your husband should speak up for you and tell his mom that you two are one and if you’re bringing in the finances he should be doing the house chores and tending to the kids.

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Wants you to work all those hours while everyone sits around and doesn’t do anything to help you out!?! Is she out of her mind !?!? This is a big hell no.

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You guys need to move out of there now!

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Look at her with surprise and tell her , but he wanted to stay here because you would be cooking and cleaning and he misses that so much!

Nope you’re not the only one. In fact, my former MIL (whom was in the delivery room when my son was born - he suffered brain damage due to medical malpractice); she would tell me “I should be greatful (her son) hasn’t left me yet, b/c no man should be forced to raise a child with special needs.”
Years later I divorced him for other reasons but was so glad to be rid of her too!!!

Get your own place as soon as possible.

A lot of mil are like this. They think their sons shouldn’t have to help.

She is so wrong. I have two sons , they are my life , but I am the first one to tell them to help their wives, I have two wonderful daughters in law.