Im in a relationship with a guy. Been with him for 2yrs. We have a child together. He has 2 kids with someone else and I have 1 kid with someone else. I treat his kids as my own and show love to them, but he doesn’t show any interest in getting to know my son. I’ve talked to him multiple times about this. I’ve told him he has a choice to make, either love my son or let me know that he won’t or doesn’t want to so I can go. I said he says he loves me but I told him before, to love me means he loves my son too because my son is part of me. He says he loves me and my son and how he buys my son food toys or takes him out with us with his kids and I said yes but the thing is he does that but it doesn’t mean he loves him. Because he doesn’t talk to my son at all unless he has to. I feel like a crappy mom because I’m with him and my son is starting to seem sad living here with him. When he’s around my son tries to stay away. Yesterday he was home sick on the couch and my boyfriend came downstairs and told him to move so he could take a picture (for his probation). I got mad cause son wasn’t even on the same couch as him so I told him what’s his problem and he tried to say my son was in the way ect. So we argued. Again I said if he can’t or won’t love my son then let me know so I can go. I am starting to feel depressed because I feel so sad for my son and when I go to leave the boyfriend is telling me and my son how much he loves us and is sorry he made him feel that way. So we stay. But now I just feel empty right now. What should I do or say to him. I don’t want my son to keep feeling afraid to be out of his room because he thinks if my boyfriend sees him talking to me he’s going to say something or he’s going to be mean to him or something
Actions speak louder then words. I would just leave, honestly… you’ve already talked about it before hand but now you can physically see affecting your son and his mental health. My advice is always put your kids first, you’re the role model, the protector. I didn’t like my step mom growing up, and every time I’d have to go over I would stay in my room to avoid her. It’s been a couple years now since I’ve talked to them (besides texts here and there for holidays to my dad) and I’m totally content with it, mainly because he made me feel like even though he knew that I felt like that, he chose her. I’m fine with it, but I wouldn’t want your son to stop your relationship because he felt like you chose your boyfriend over him. You’re the only person your son has, the person he supposed to trust… don’t take that for granted