So you take your anguish to Facebook for answers. The husband should dump you on a heartbeat. People change and adapt. Evidently you are not one of the forever mates we all need. Hope he leaves you quickly.
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Get to know your partner all over again.
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No longer into white? Wtf?
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If you have tried, and your still feeling the same way, forcing yourself and him will turn you both bitter and into toxic partners. Counciling may help it may not. But in the end you gotta do whatâs best for you and your kids. Cause them seeing you trying to force being happy and they can see your not isnât good for them. They should see an honest loving relationship not a forced unhappy one.
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Why do people insist you have to stay together and work on it?? Its ok if you dont want to anymore! You are different people now. Its like thisâŚright now i can tell you my favorite color is pink. In 20 years, it might be blue. I might hate pink. The sight of pink might make me nauseous. So why would someone expect me to demand that i force myself to forever want pink?? Why cant i like blue now?? People change and they change away from each other. Embrace who you are now and do what you need to do. Its Its okay! Really
You raise your kids together and be honest with him no one deserves to be cheated on
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Spice up your relationship
Go out on dates
Do new and different things
Find new hobbies
Try counseling
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Try counseling. It may take a lot of work or you may find out you have grown too far apart. But you have kids to consider. Be a grown up about what you are doing, and dont just make choices because you want to play the field. Guessing once your husband hears whatâs on your plate he wonât stick around long anyway. Honestly if you can even consider playing around, you arenât in love with your husband anyway.
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Theirs nothing wrong with what she prefers. K think she was just letting you know her preference. I also know I got married at 15 and after two kids and the same routine and me doing all I could getting older u do change attraction and interests. You can force what the other spouse doesnât like. Iâve was married for 8 years and just couldnât do it. He was four years older.
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We need more detail than that. Because really, at the end of the day, only you know, what you need. And counciling and therapy helps.
But in the end, only you can ask yourself. Have you two changed so much and have gotten so far into a rut that thereâs no hope? Or by changing a few things in the relationship, spicing things up, changing the schedule And by ultimately changing your perspective will that change how you view him and the relationship?
Only you can tell yourself if, itâs toxic, and you need to step away, if, per say, your walking on eggshells 24/7 and you can Never be your new self with the people you love?
Or if, youâre just bored and need to switch it up?
Relationships are About change and adaptation, two people can never stay the same forever. It takes being open with your partner, and adapting the relationship to fit the new you and the new them
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I think this is more common than not. The difference is are you still in love or do you just love him? My ex husband and I grew apart and he found someone else, and eventually I found someone else too.
Come out and say you have a man and seeing someone else.
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How would you feel if your husband turned around and said to you he isnt attracted to you anymore because youâve had kids and your body isnât the same and youâre white so your not what he wants? How would you feel if he left you for those stupid reasons? You need to grow up and realise marriage is work and that it isnt going to be easy, this isnt the movies. Your vows no doubt had "for better or worse, til death do us part " in them. That was the promise you made, now pull your big girl panties up and fulfil your promises.
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Life is short and you only get one chance at it. If you are not happy with your relationship, end it and find a new one. You donât owe anybody anything.
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People changeâŚpeople adaptâŚthey compromise.
As I read this, I was thinking okâŚyou both should try counselingâŚand you should.
But to feel apart because he is white. WowâŚjust wow.
You took an oath, and you share children togetherâŚtry counseling. Heck even maybe get wilder in the bedroom.
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Amanda McVey ok I thought this post was in a nail group Iâm in until I saw your comment. Oooops 
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I was with you until you said youâre not in to whiteâŚwhat does that even mean??
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She said please dang yâallđ¤Ł
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Sounds like youâre already seeing someone.
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Your beautifulâŚeverything changes donât fight it changeâŚ
Have a conversation about it as a team an worst come to worst try swinging to spice up the sex life plenty of couples out there of all colours,shapes&sizes do it no harm doneđ¤Ł
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Iâd never throw away all that for a maybe. Iâd invest more into the relationship by doing things together alone and as a family. Communication is key. Find things that make you attractive to him again.
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How about some counseling before you make a decision you may regret.And answer why no friends.Maybe itâs not meant to be but you owe yourself the chance to see if it is
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If you all want to save the marriage then you have to start dating and romance each other. But you all may be both too far gone to get it back. It really depends on you all and what you want. I married at 16 and was married for 20 years and then we divorced.
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People change. Marriage is something you work at. You cannot put it on autopilot. Seek counseling or try some new things together. Try having date nights. Donât just step away because you might think the grass is greener elsewhere.
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Oh! You want the other meatđ¤Ł
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This is race simping at its finest 
I donât like my husband because heâs the wrong color for my politics
I donât really know anymore about your situation but the information you just mentioned, but God knows your situation and how you feel so take this to the Lord in prayer.
If your husband is a reasonable man, maybe you should try talking to him about this, since youâve been together at such a young age, maybe he feels the same way, and maybe your just growing apart.
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Mmm maybe try a threeway or hell start swinging⌠
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How racist can you get⌠Youâre pathetic and I think your husband should leave your ass⌠You want to end your marriage because heâs white. Tf is wrong with you 
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Sometimes it happens and sometimes you can find each other again 
Girl go live urife nd be happy. U have bot experienced life at all.
The grass is not greener on the other side be careful what you wish for be best friends first I wish I had what you have 
so do a lot of people so be careful who tells you different
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Whoâs really not happy here ? Seems like you want to move on an experience. New things ⌠why not plan date nights for you and him & have him do the next one ⌠something you like, something he likes - spend time together to get that spark back
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What made you fall in love with him in the first place? Perhaps you should try âdatingâ each other again? I read something once that went something like thisâŚwhen an old couple was asked what their secret to a long and lasting marriage was they simply replied, âWe grew up in a time when something was broke you fixed it.â Will keep you in prayerâŚ
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Sit down and talk to each other and tell him how u feel. Yâall have to be open with each other about things
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People mature at different times maybe yâall just need to talk to each other are need cancelling,donât just give up,itâs hard to find a good man.If he loves you and treats you good then donât give up on him.
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Take time out for each other
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I mean⌠just because youâre not into âwhiteâ anymore, doesnât mean youâll find what youâre looking for anywhere else. Do you want a stable relationship or do you want a train wreck of a dating life for years on end? You need to think far into the future about what you want out of life⌠FYI⌠Iâve switched up on dating different races and married two men of different races and honestly, itâs all the same bullshit with every man regardless of race 
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If you want to try to reconnect with your husband date him again.
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Everything is better darker file the paperwork and let that man be!
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How old are your kids? You should be putting them first. You donât just turn kids lives upside down cause your not into white anymore 
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Me and my partner are white and Iâm no longer into that. People calling this woman racist, people can like who they want. Just because I love chubby guys does that make me fattist? lol people like spoke with long hair etc, people have types just because someone isnât attracted to a a different colour. Does not make them racist. Idiots
Translation: MWF iso BBDs
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Youâve been watching too much bbc porn
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Well I would ensure you are not in love anymore but I would attempt to spice things up before you walked away⌠make damn sure you donât regret your decision. Remember everybody goes through midlife I wonder if itâs greener on the other side. Just know it is not.
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I was married for 17 yrs. We were young when we got married. 19. Over time⌠As we grew up we grew apart. We finally got a divorce. No regrets. He married right after our divorce. I have been with a wonderful man for over 10 yrs. We are both happier now. As for kids⌠Well we tried to put them 1st in everything. They always had 2 sets of adults that loved them and they were happier for it too. We tried not to fight in front of kids but the thick silence between us was hard on them. Sometimes you just grow apart and everything changes. And thatâs okâŚjust make sure of your descion. It took almost 2 yrs for me to confirm divorce was what I wanted. We tried dating again. Talking. Counseling. Everything.
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You said you work. By chance are you having feelings with a coworker that happens to not be white? It may not be the color just the man?
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Sheâs tired of small things 
âŚ
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Since you have been together since 15. Either one of you got to experience anything else. Both of you should go explore and if itâs meant to be youâll go back to each other. Good luck but just remember. The grass is never green on the other side. Ever
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Nothing wrong with being comfortable. But everything takes work. If you once found it an lost it im sure you can find it again with the same person. 15 yrs is a long time but its a hell of a lot to go to waste too.
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I dont appreciate the white or whatever color/ethnicity your spouse is and that shouldnât be a factor on if you love him or not. does he hit you or beat you up? does he lie or cheat on you? or is he a good man to you and the kids? does he work hard to provide for you all? maybe try marriage counseling and talking to him. why did the 2 of you get married?
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You mean your not into men any more or what?
Donât do it youâll never come back
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I met my husband at 16 at 21 we had our 3rd child ! We fell in a rut we ended up divorcing at 40! You take each other for granted you look to find a spark where there isnât any just a moment of well you know! Itâs hard Iâll be the first to tell you ! But happy ending the husband and I will celebrating our third anniversary remarried! We found each other again we talk more we travel and share more now we make it about US! Not the kiddos they are grown not about jobs or careers not about friends or even family sisters brothers etc. US BECAUSE in the end itâs just you two! We do family things but at the end of the day it is us! Find your self and ask what you want in your marriage then ask him what he wants and work on getting back to where you started in love ! Been there done that 27 years first go around dated again for a few years remarried 3 years strong this year !
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And after you leave him and find out dudes ainât shit you will want him back. SMH.
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Iâm really confused why the only negative thing you stated about him was that your not into white anymore. Really odd reason to fall out of love with a seemingly good man.
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Iâm gonna get all psychological on ya hereâŚhaving been together since adolescence, you two went through those years PLUS young adulthood together. Now in the early years, your brains were still developing. I.e.-so weâre your likes, dislikes, tastes, etc. This brain growth continues into early adulthood. Communication becomes ever more important and Iâm guessing that there isnât a whole lot of that. With strong and positive communication, couples can keep that bond and continue growing together. Otherwise, you grow apart and subconsciously you begin looking at new âopportunitiesâ.
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This happens a lot when you marry youngâŚI married young and as we became adults and had responsibilities I found that we werenât as much alike as we thoughtâŚAs we grew into adulthood our goals in life were much different⌠Neither of us were ready for the adult relationship that being married and having children brought upon usâŚIt is a very hard decision to make especially when children are involvedâŚBut keep in mind that your happiness also affects their happinessâŚDonât stay in a dead in relationship âŚItâs a waste of the life you both deserveâŚStay civil for the children and walk awayâŚ
Maybe you guys just got too used to the routine.
Have a nice, honest, respectful talk & see where you both stand.
Sometimes, it happens & sometimes itâs something else & not necessarily the relationship.
Have to be honest with selves & each other.
Nobody can honestly answer this except you guys, unfortunately.
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Personally I am not the same person I was when I was 15, so I can understand this. My question is have you talked with your husband? Personally I am married to an African man, it comes with its own set of challenges. Color not withstanding, a good man is a good man. The grass is not always greener or browner in this case. Talk to your husband, get counseling either for yourself or as a couple. But be sure because once you leave there is no going back. Good luck hun
You have a good marriage? A decent guy who doesnât abuse you and helps around the home ? You both have jobs âŚin any relationship your not âin loveâ all of the time itâs natural he pisses you off and youâll piss him off itâs life⌠when you took your vows it wasnât until you didnât fancy him anymore âŚwhy donât you talk with him and try to rekindle your relationshipâŚI would seriously think long and hard before you make any decisions before you upset your husband and childrenâŚall because you donât want him and it sounds like you want to âtryâ something else âŚas I said before itâs life
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Iâm not even going to voice an opinion because Iâm certain it wouldnât be the kindest. But regardless of anything, if you are not physically attracted to him, and are clearly feeling as if there are other options that may be better for you, then you need to communicate this to him immediately. It is not right for anyone to live a married life not knowing their spouse doesnât love them. Let him be , go your separate way and coparent like civilized adults.
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You have already been messing w/ a black man behind his back. I know this b/c how would u know youâre into black men. It is what it is you decide what to do. Good men arenât easy to find so if heâs good to you get over it & stick w/ him b/c youâll be missing him.
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Honey get you a Big Black Dildo and go to town 
you will be ok
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Itâs okay, shit happens . But how long have you been feeling this way ? If itâs been a long time now & your 
sure itâs what you want⌠I think itâs time to let your husband know & go from there so you both can finally be happy in the end⌠especially with kids involved I mean there gonna feel & notice it which isnât good or healthy for them either.
I was with my husband ever since I was 17 we were married for 38 years. But I wasnât happy anymore I told him I try to explain to him he told me I wanted too much, so sometimes when you donât grow you have to go we ended up getting a divorce. 38 years 4 children eight grandchildren. Itâs been 3 years and I am truly happy now as I once was
Donât hang onto a mistake simply because it took a long time to make.
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Have an open relationshipâŚ
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Sounds like you already have your mind made up⌠not sure why you postedâŚ
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Love and relationships are a choice and a job every single day. You both have to invest in it constantly. If you both arenât, wonât or cant go in the same united direction love yourself and respect the other enough to walk away in peace.
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Unfollowing, page went to shit
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When we start our life with someone there is strong love then this love turns into mercy so we must believe in our life together until death.
People change especially since you were so young when you fell in love. Donât be so hard on yourself. I donât have the same taste in men that I did 20 years ago either. Do whatâs right for you as long as you feel good about it.
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âWeâre white but Iâm no longer into thatâ Black skin is not a kink for your enjoyment. Wasnât going to bash but then you had to say stupid shit.
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Move on and be happyâŚ
Most people grow apartâŚ
Itâs very natural especially since you were so young you were just a kid now youâre an adult and you are differentâŚ
Say bye bye
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Donât throw away a good man hold onto the love that you did have for him why did you fall inlove with him in the first place what was it that brought you 2 together hold onto it and donât let that go
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Sounds like youre needing attention and you found it in a person who is not white. If that is true, youre a cheat whoâs vag should be infested with the fleas of 1,000 camels.
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Self reflect first. Is it a thing you are going through? Really think about it and donât look back.
So cool fact about me. The first man I ever dated ( ironically was long distance) and I split after a few months because he smoked after I told him not to ( again take into consideration I was young) he went and found me on social media years later and we remained friends. We started talking last October, found out we still had feelings for eachother and he proposed the day before Thanksgiving. I have spent my life in abusive relationships and I am with someone who flew me 1800 miles to be with him on new years and is moving me and my kids to be with him. ( we have known eachother 16 years so not a random dude.) I find myself often wishing I never would of left because of how amazing he is and how much alike we are. I missed out on so much happiness because I chose abusers. Take it from someone who kissed alot of shitheads before finding my king, try to make it work. Talk to eachother openly without emotion from either side and REALLY ask yourself if you want to throw away everything you have because of something you donât seem to 100 be sure of how you feel
I can say⌠nothing to do with white or whatever your choiceâŚbut 31 years married and some shit is so far from growing apart that itâs unimaginable!! And a couple of days ago I read something that Iâve read several times before that spooked meâŚâTrue loves never marryâ I was like absofukinlutly!! So do youâŚbecause in the end thatâs whoâs gonna matter!
I wouldnât bash you at least you have the guts to post it heck the ppl on my page doesnât respond or talk back much too closed minded I give you an A plusđŻ
Life is about growth. The fact you are asking leads me to believe you already have an answer but want confirmation. Guuurl, do you! Do all the things you want to do in life. Be happy. Just because two people split does not mean they need to hate one another. Chances are, your partner feels the same way.
Sending much love and happiness to you and your family- together or apart
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We all hit a wall at some point. Date your husband again. Get to know each other. Ask deep questions. If itâs worth it, youâll try again.
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Kind of sounds like you already found somebody else thatâs most likely gonna be a fling and your going to destroy your marriage and children over it and your trying to find a way to justify it
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You should have a talk. Donât cheat because it sounds like they wouldnât do it to you. Have a long talk and see if your both feeling the same way, then both of you talk to the children. Come to an agreement
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How does he feel about your relationship? You made a commitment to one another and owe it to him and to your children to work out a civil solution together.
Do u fight,if the love u once felt is no longer there be honest about it, better sooner than later
Have an open convo with him. Tell him your true feelings. Who knows maybe he feels the same. Just be honest.
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If that friendship part is still there I would maybe look into alternative forms of relationships and talk to your partner about it. Maybe your attraction would grow again if you tried new/different things? Maybe adding people is the answer. Thereâs so many forms of relationships out there thereâs no reason not to try something new before calling it quits. Dating totally sucks for women a lot of the time. Grass is not always greener on the other side.
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As a good wife who was left bc my husband wanted to âsee whatâs out thereâ, please consider what youâre leaving behind. Dating in todayâs society is absolute hell. People pretend to be something theyâre not, lie, cheat and manipulate. If he is a good man, and you are just bored, keep him and try new things. Good, consistent men are few and far between. If you honestly dont think it can be saved, be honest with him asap.
Talk with your Husband.
He may feel the same as you do.
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Pure Romance spice things up hit me up!
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You should have a really long conversation, maybe you both feel the same way and want out. You guys weâre really young when you got together and people grow, they change, thereâs nothing wrong with that. The problem is when you start going behind the other personâs back and cheating. If you really ever loved the other person, you should show them some respect and be open and honest about how you feel.
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It happens. Partnership is work and hopefully you picked a partner that will work and that you will too bc if you do, it will be worth it. Communicate, do the things you did before⌠most of the time the LOVE is there we just get to lazy and stop making the effort that makes one another feel alive⌠maybe something like Love Dare may help. Sending you positive energy and hope that you are able to work it out.
Your kids will notice changes without you realising. Itâs better to have 2 happy parents that are apart than 2 unhappy ones sticking it out.
As we get older, tastes do change. But as someone else mentioned, go back to the start. 16 years together is a long time, but some wise person said donât stop trying to get your partner when youâve got them.
That person is still there. The parenting, jobs, and life in general have taken over.
Donât have an affair just to get out of the marriage. Speak to your partner. Go somewhere neutral like the park, for a walk, and talk openly about how you feel, why you feel that way, what they might have stopped doing that was what attracted you to them in the first place.
The going on dates idea is a good idea as you get to know them again as a person. If the spark really isnât there, and you love them but are no longer in love with them, separate, but in a way thatâs amicable because you never know. Some times the grass is only greener because its fed with bullshit. Good luck
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I lived this exact thing. I got with my husband when I was a teenager. We were married for 12 years. Then I decided in my early 30s I wanted to party and have the âsingle lifeâ I never got to have. I divorced him. Then I realized I made a huge mistake. The world still sucks and it sucked even more without him. He took me back and itâs been another decade. You get those feelings where you feel like your spouse is holding you back and you arenât attracted to them. Before you do anything you need to make sure you are really sure because it is a horrible experience to go through.
Could you not just Bondi sands in ultrafast and see if it helps 
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Okay⌠one i think there is more context to why you felt the need to involve skin tone⌠than what we all know⌠two talking and see if it could work⌠is a startâŚ
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Boredom is not a reason to raise your children without a full-time father. Thatâs not fair to him or the kids. I would try counseling first to see if it can be worked out.
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