Hi well I had a question, I have two kids a 1.5-year-old boy and an almost-four-year-old girl when I was pregnant with my second I left their dad due to cheating well we were living in Mexico with him, and when that happened I moved back to Colorado he stayed with the girl and had their son a month ago he called me today saying that him and his wife thought it was better for him to sign away his rights since he is on their birth certificates and I need signed letters from him for like passports, school, traveling, etc. and he doesn’t want any more contact with us I said yeah it was better that way since he doesn’t call or help or have seen my kids a year. My question is, how do I start that process? Do I have to get a lawyer? Can he be removed from their birth certificates and have his last name removed too? And if it’s possible to remove his last name, should I? I don’t think it’s fair to do that to my kids, but my family is saying by signing his rights it means he doesn’t care
Idk how the process goes, but I would leave their names alone. When they are older if they have questions just be honest and if they decide that they don’t want to carry his name, then change it.
I’d start with getting a lawyer. He sounds like a piece of shit. My heart breaks for those kids.
Get a lawyer and change the names. I’ll be damned if I’d want to carry a mans name that wanted nothing to do with me.
You generally cannot remove someone from a BC, and (in my case) I had to hyphenate my children’s last names. It sucked! Every state is different. And even though in your eyes the father is not good, you’ll need to prove it. Keep all messages, record calls, receipts, witnesses, & statements, everything you can. Hearsay won’t work at all in court. I do wish you well and future SOLID happiness
From my understanding (going through an adoption process) he can’t sign them away just because he feels like it. Someone has to be adopting them or his rights have to be taken away due to negligence. That means you have to show in court that he’s not supporting them or contacting them for 6 months to 1 year it varies by you and the children’s residential state. You can find grounds for right termination by state on DCFS sites. Some states have the documents online or at the court house. Some don’t and you cazan find them on us legal forms website. It’s a lot easier to have a lawyer because they know what they’re doing and how to file papers which reduces you having to redo a mistake and waste money. He won’t be off the birth certificates or their last names changed I don’t believe because you aren’t doing an adoption which allows for a name change. You can possibly submit an affidavit for a name change and explain the situation but ultimately it’s all left up to a judge to decide what to do. I would call and have a free consultation with a lawyer just so you can have everything answered properly for the state you reside in. Plus they can tell you what paper work you need.
My Ex did this. Then he found out he still had to pay child support, not sure if the laws changed now but who cares if hes on or not. Just don’t bother with him. I’m not sure if u get child support but ur entitled to it . And u should go for it. Doesnt matter if he is around or not he helped make them, he can help pay for them. If u dont want it or need help, put it away for college. The only thing I’d be going to court for is sole custody
Get a lawyer, keep his name on birth cert. He is their father. Beyond that, get a lawyer.
What you are asking for is a termination of his parental rights. That requires a court order from a judge. The process is not quick. In the USA because he doesn’t want to be involved does not necessarily mean his rights would be terminated depending on your state law. You need an attorney to help you determine what type of father he is. Legal or putative. The attorney can then advise you what is in you and the children best interest. Your children have a right to know their father and he should be paying child support. Ask your self because the attorney will why you letting him off the hook?
Get a lawyer. My x was in agreement with signing his rights over. Your lawyer will draw up the paperwork. It was pretty straight foward I didnt have to have any contact with my X. Your lawyer will send him papers that he needs to sign pretty much stating hes aware of the termination. Then it was a waiting game for a month to get all the papers filed with the courts. The ending paperwork my X had to come in and sign his rights over to me. He will still be on the birth certificate but his rights will be severed. As for a name change that is something you have to file separately which I did as well. Every situation is different but i knew that it was best for my son and I that this needed to happen. Hope everything works out for you. Also for child support I had to give a written document stating I didnt want to receive it under the circumstanes but my lawyer handled the rest.
With him living in mexico it might be a different process… I suggest contacting a lawyer.
I would let him pay for it.
My first sons bio dad signed away his rights. At the time i was getting married to my 2nd child’s father, and bio dad was neger in pictures. My husband adopted my first son (who was 3 at the time) and we were able to put my husband on the birth certificate. And change my sons last name as well. You will need an attorney. We’re in Texas…process took about 8mos to a yr.
Get a lawyer and let him sign his rights away, seems like he didnt care too much to begin with so they’d honestly be better off kids dont need a father that doesnt care in their lives it does more harm than good, I’m pretty sure hell still stay on their birth certificate but that really shouldn’t effect anything and if you want to change their last names to yours I personally would. Theyll be too young to remember it any other way and when they get older theyll understand
About the names, my father drug myself and three sibblings through a custody battle that has gone on for five years and still going strong. Im almost 21 years old now! Hes a terrible man and has done horrors to myself and mother. I have his last name along with three of my sibblings. I was questioned about it and honestly, its just a name to me. When your children get older let them decide for themselves. For me, its to much of a hassle and it brings up bad memories. Its just a name, when i get married mine will change again. I have no issue with it.
He doesn’t care, but the kids are still who they are. Changing their name or birth certificate just makes it harder if they ever want ir need to trace their history . Find an attorney. This should be a fairly easy process to terminate his rights willingly.
Consult with an attorney. Depending on your state, you may be able to terminate his rights. It may not remove him from the BC without a stepparent adoption, but does remove his rights. Changing the last name shouldn’t be a problem, either.
I have my dads last name
McCloud
He hasn’t seen me since I was a year old. I am 27 and I wish I didn’t have his name. I hate it so much! So change their names for sure!!!
I would contact a lawyer to see what you need to do with him being in another country. As far as the children’s names, I would go ahead and change them if I was you.
Growing up I hated my father and I hated having his name and spent my entire young life desperate to change my name and free myself from the man that name belonged to. Took me two marriages and three name changes to get my head on straight with regards to my maiden name.
Also, any type of legal paperwork, school paperwork etc is simply easier if you have the same last name as your children. Not a huge difference there but it may save you some frustration.
Your son will have an opportunity to pass his last name on someday, that name should be his family name, the name of the person who loved and raised him, not one who seems he could care less about the children.
There is a lot of weight that comes with a name, of their father is willing to relinquish his rights as their parent he doesn’t deserve the privilege of passing his name to them, in my opinion. Best of luck
If he stays on the birth cirtificate you will need him for passports and lots of other things. Just saying…
My father signed away his rights. It was a process done by the state. They pursued it and he wanted nothing to do with me. I would advise an attorney to start with. They can advise you and give you a starting point.
Get a lawyer. That way there is no way for him to come back years later and claim anything.
File for Allocation of Parental Rights. There is the option for him to voluntarily sign over or you have to put a post in the newspaper with the court date. If he doesn’t show up then they should grant it. Once that is done you have an option to change your kids last name but you are not obligated too. I live here in Colorado also and have been looking into this myself for awhile.
Even though he is on the birth certificate, the only thing you would need him to sign for is the child’s passport, everything else is your decision, you are the custodial parent, you do not need signed papers from him otherwise. It is only when you have shared custody does his signature have any affect… my mother never had to have my bio dad’s signature on anything, and I haven’t had to ask my daughter’s bio dad for his signature. I would contact a family law attorney and figure out what the process is, especially with him being in Mexico.
I’m in the UK, and I’m sure you just get him to write a letter basically withdrawing his rights and take that to a judge to revoke his rights…
I just had my ex-husbands rights removed and I highly recommend consulting an attorney. It will make the process move much faster.
Some states allow voluntarily signing and some do not. If you have a current spouse that is willing to take over that right, it will be much smoother.
He can be removed from birth certificates and last name can be changed also.
My husband took the responsibility and is now on my son’s birth certificate and we gave him our last name instead of f my exhusbands.
Pretty sure he can’t just sign his rights away. If I’m not mistaken. Can’t just give up your kids cause you don’t feel like having the obligation anymore. Agree with your family. Sorry
Right now he doesn’t care. If you change their last name make sure they know who their father is. They may want to look him up one day and he may change his mind and decide to look you and kids up one day.
I would definitely contact a lawyer and get a consult on what needs to be done!
True he doesn’t care please give them your last name Felix Elaine your opinion
In New Jersey a parent cannot sign over their rights unless there is huge cause for it. Meaning it’s hard to do. Also, removing him from paperwork (at least in NJ) will not excuse him from child support and things of that nature.
If you can, get a lawyer. Many consulate for free so write up a list of questions and start there. Best of luck to you all!
I’m in oklahoma my ex was told by the judge he could not sign rights away unless someone was willing to adopt the children.
Going thru this currently. He cant sign over his rights unless you have sum1 willing to adopt them when he does.
Are you getting child support? If so that will stop if he gives up his rights FYI
It is hard to just sign rights over. An adopt in, termination of rights is the way to go. And it’s done at once. Hire a lawyer if that’s what y’all are agreeing on. I do not believe you can do it on your own.
Where I’m at, the courts won’t allow that unless someone else is going to adopt them.
Lawyer? Hell yes!! And one that knows what he is doing. Name change? Totally up to you, but wiil cost to have done. Might want to leave that up to your children to decide when they are grown. The lawyer should be able to tell you about all the issues and expenses for all that. Again, lawyer, YES.
I just feel bad for the kids… Both of you are wrong… he is wrong for giving up on his kids and you are wrong for wanting to strip away part of their identity and who they are.
GET A LAWYER for sure. Not sure if you have child support coming in from this loser, but if he signs his rights away then he will be off the hook for child support also.
I am sorry that you’re going through this!
I’m not familiar with Colorado law so I recommend that you look into legal aid or at least have a consultation with counsel for advice and the local process.
However, as far as I have heard, a parent can sign over their rights, just needs to be done in court. As far as changing their name it is your right and I would do it if I was in your place. Children should carry the family name, your ex has abandoned and turned his back on them. That’s not his family, you are. If they later want to look for him that’s their right but hopefully you are honest with them about who their father is so that they are well aware and don’t have false expectations of him only leading to disappointment and heartbreak. If your ex changes his mind as some have suggested that is HIS problem. He’ll have to deal with that and try to make amends to your children and you but in no way shape or form should the door be left open for him as if he deserves it. He doesn’t. You don’t have to hide or speak ill of him but there’s no reason to pretend your ex is worthy of a place in your children’s lives.
I’m sorry you’re going through this and I wish you the best of luck.
I live in CO and unfortunately don’t know the answer to your question. This is just so so sad. What kind of awful human being would just sign his children away? I’m just so sorry. For you and your children.
In a lot of states you can’t just sign away your rights…they have to be “taken” away…i.e.your kids were removed from your care and put into the foster care system…check your states laws…
Seriously, I am so disappointed to see that you have not seemed to take into account how your kids are going to feel about this when they are older and neither has he! Most judges are not going to let a parent just sign rights away without a compelling reason and him cheating and you not being together is not one. Unless there is a new father willing to adopt them… good luck.
I live in Colorado and it wont happen…he needs to have his rights terminated by a judge because hes unfit. Thats the only way…hes never going to his name off. I would go down to the court house and file for child support…i live in jeffco and i would go to their legal aid meeting.
Get a lawyer…and I don’t get why it’s easier for him.to sign his rights away of someone else is willimg.to adopt. If the mom can financially afford and provide for these children in all aspects of their life, she should have sole custody and not need to have a man in her life
Where i am you have to have someone in line to adopt them before that can happen
Get a lawyer! I went through this. It’s much better to have a lawyer that way in the end you will go through the Supreme Court in your state and there’s no chance for him to come back “when it’s convenient for him”.
I wouldn’t let him sign away his parental rights. I’d go after him for child support. Responsibilities…
He cant sign rights over unless u got someone to adopt ur kids. Take him for cs and drop him. File for abandonment that way he wont be entitled to rights
Very easy here in Ohio he just has to file paper with court
Crappy ass people man.
I couldn’t NOT see my kids.
I would be crushed without them.
Some people man, some people.
It all depends on where you live. Here in PA, to sign away rights you have to be able to prove abandonment for more than 6 months, and you HAVE to be married to someone longer than a year who is willing to adopt your child.
Wait until you are married and have your husband adopt them… as for his wife shame on her
Get a lawyer to help you with the process. Change your kids last names to yours.
Do not sign nothing take him for child support once you sign his right ways is right you are screw to get money
Lawyer and go for full custody. I’m gonna have to do the same
He cannot legally sign is rights away. You can have full custody and placement but he will still have to pay child support.
1 person cannot be solely responsible for a child.
Unless you’re married and your husband will adopt the child, you’re SOL
The only way as far as I know you can change anything on a birth certificate. Is it. A true mistake on the birth certificate. I don’t know any state that will allow you to remove a father from a birth certificate. I was always told that you cannot sign a child’s rights away. And as far as I know the only way to get out of being responsible for child support age of a nether parent steps in and adopt a child.
Every state is different! You should definitely look into getting a lawyer just to protect you and those babies!
Dont terminate anything! Get a lawyer educate yourself. You are not with your ex don’t do anything he says. He wants to terminate his rights let him do it on his own.
I’d contact children’s services they can help legally get you the right things n in touch people to go through process legally n be done !!
Okay first and foremost, don’t let any of these “perfect parents” make you feel shitty about your situation. If he is not providing your kids with the love and care they need and deserve, my opinion is let him sign his rights away if you can. Start by consulting with an attorney. I would make it very clear to sperm donor that if he wants to terminate parental rights that HE is going to pay all legal fees associated. Take it from a child that was not wanted… I’m glad my dad left and my mom didn’t force him into my life. It’s been way easier on me. Look at what happened to those babies of Chris Watts… I’m not suggesting he’s going to harm your kids but that guy didn’t want those kids so he found a way to get rid of them. As for changing their name, again, personally I would. Why attach them to somebody who does not want them? Give them your name. You’re there, you love them unconditionally!! Stay strong momma!
Honestly I would not do it! the only reason he’s wanting to do it is because if you terminate all parental rights and can get it approved which is very hard he will not have to pay child support at all. In return though he would not have any legal right and wouldnt be able to talk to the child have any sort of interaction with a child or have any say in the child’s schooling academics and medical care. you literally have to jump through hoops to get this done usually they may do it if there is another step parent wishing to adopt them which is still sometimes hard to get done with certain judges due to the fact that it’s not their child and they would be legally responsible for it no matter what. also most judges are not just worrying about what the parents want they are also worried about how it’s going to affect the child mentally physically emotionally and their growth in life. You will have to honestly prove that he was not in any way shape or form a parent or any support for this child for 6 months or more. even after jumping through all those hoops most judges deny it because legally and genetically if they are the child’s father they’re not going to let him out that easy without having to take care of the child and actually support them. Just keep in mind that if he does this you cannot get child support because he’s given up everything that means all Care in any support in the future and it’s only easier for him because then he doesn’t have to pay for children he brought into this world and he doesn’t have to be a parent and step up and help because probably new wifey doesn’t want them around her baby or in her house or do you have to pay for them which is stupid and Petty.
Consider what your kids will have to go though when they are a bit older!
My ex husband has signed over his parental rights to both of our children, I had already been awarded full league and physical custody after a horrible year of a custody evaluation. once said parent has signed over their parental rights they are no longer able to stop/bother the process of which you chose to raise your children, where you travel/live/religion,they are no longer legally that child’s parent and no longer have to pay child support. They can be removed from birth certificate and last names can be changed. But I’ve left my children’s alone for them to decide what they’d like to do when they are older.