But I have been with my boyfriend for ten months now. We have literally been together every night since. Minus a few days. Anyways, last week I found him talking to another woman in his inbox nothing bad just the fact he deleted it to hide it bothered me. Now I’ve found out he was speaking to his ex finance the first four months we were together. & I’m not sure about since then. That’s the only proof I have. What would you guys do? Confront him, not say anything, be with him not be with him? I’m sick to my stomach and at a complete lost, I love this man. Mind you we were taking trips and telling each other we loved each-other the last month of them talking that I know of.
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Hiding and/or deleting conversations is a big no for me.
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I talk to my ex, we have a child together and can hold a conversation and even have some banter, a coffee, took our little to his 1st swimming lesson together last week. No romantic feelings on either side, it is possible to have contact and it be totally platonic/ friendly
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I can’t believe that so many of you look through your husbands phones!
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Talk to him is always the best thing. Not all exs are bad news, some people remain friends and that’s ok.
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You don’t love him or you wouldn’t be posting this on here, you like so many other people who post their jealous snoopy drama on face book are in love with with the idea of being in a relationship…(using that term loosely) get out, learn to be independent and the right person will come along in time, maybe not in a week or a month, but in the mean time learn to love yourself and build who you are, instead of being a whiny jealous untrusting girlfriend…
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If you aren’t prepared to leave or “do anything about it” then don’t even bring it up
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My fiancé talks to one of his exes 
Sometimes things just don’t work out and better off as friends. Weird he would hide it, but that’s a boundary for your relationship you need to set.
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Hold on. He was just talking to his ex? Based on this, the context of his messages weren’t something to be concerned about….?
Is this just poorly written or are things missing from the post?
It’s always best to talk to your partner about whatever is bothering you.
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Wait, you snooped his phone and his archives? You going through his phone bill? How you find all of this out if he deleted it? Just be single if you’re gonna do all that, seems exhausting to not trust someone and spend all your time trying to find something to be upset about.
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My ex is my Bestfriend actually, we dated multiple times through the years & lived with each other a few times, now he stays the night with me and my current boyfriend where we live, obviously that’s not hiding it tho
You need to bring it up
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If you can’t trust him, you shouldn’t be together.
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WELL first of all if you know he was texting another woman and he hid his phone that means he is guilty of something…just becsuse you sre around each other everyday he still coukd find someone else and be interested in…
You can either download a spyware on his phone and find just what he is saying to her and go from there
You can confront him and say you know about the female he is texting and say why are you talking to her …you must really like her if you are hidingbit from me and ask if he is unhappy …and say then maybe you two should go your seperate ways if thats what he wants to do is chat with other women…
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My fiancé has his ex of 12 years on his fb and it’s never bothered me. BUT then again, he’s never hid it from me and if she reaches out to him then he tells me.
If it’s innocent talk then I wouldn’t be too worried about it and I feel like you should talk to him to see why he felt the need to hide it? That’s kinda weird.
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It is okay for you to have boundaries.
If he does not respect those boundaries, then you two need to split.
You having your boundaries does not make you insecure, or controlling.
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If he’s hiding it then there’s a level of distrust already there. If his ex is the mother of his kids then like obviously there’s nothing you can do about them talking but if he’s hiding it from you then there’s a specific reason as to why. I’d confront him about it and have an adult discussion.
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Did you stop talking to everyone from your past? Why should he? It doesn’t mean he has a relationship with the ex or anyone else just means he feels he can talk to them and honestly unless you have not spoken to anyone at all from your past and then you shouldn’t say a word about who he speaks to
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Run now!! You will save yourself so much heart ache in the long run. I promise you that. When people show you who they are, believe them. They just get better at hiding it and it hurts the longer you’ve been together.
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I talk to one of my Exs. My fiancé doesn’t care bc he trusts me! I don’t delete anything we talk about. Hell my current fiancé talks to him as well. I Would’ve still talk to the other as well but he passed away in 2017 we became best friends.
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He is coming home to you and spending nights with you… maybe they are just friends…however if you feel like you need to talk to him about it just word it in a way that is not accusing… the deletion of messages is a little suss though, best of luck
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If he’s trying to hide it id have to confront him an see what’s going on she may have confronted him first but you need to know what’s going on perhaps he still has feeling for his ex? but you need to know one way or the other so you know whether to drop your relationship with him or not …Good luck
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My ex fiance is my best friend. We visit one another, he lives in a different state, and talk regularly. But I don’t hide it. In fact I let people know before the first date that I’m unwilling to lose friendships for potential relationships. Thats a hard line for me. But for some people dating someone who talks to their ex is a hard no. And that’s perfectly fine. You need to decide what you’re comfortable with. And more importantly why he wouldn’t tell you about it.
I’m not sure if he was hiding it. He might have just deleted his messages. The fact you were going through his phone shows underlying issues in your relationship that are going to require evaluation.
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If he is being sneaky, that’s not a good sign.a relationship that has no trust is bound to crumble. Be smart with your heart 
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I’ve never gone through my hubs phone, and he’s never gone through mine. Seems toxic tbh and you’ve crossed just as big of a line if not more than him talking to someone from his past when you’ve only been together a few months.
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They were engaged which means they were friends and more once, there is nothing wrong with him talking with her as long as it’s not disrespectful to yourself. The issue is that he is deleting them and another issue is that you’re going through his phone and it must be a decent dig through to find deleted messages… this means either he feels like you will make something out nothing and has to hide things from you or he’s not being faithful… you either don’t trust him and thought he was shady or you lack privacy boundaries… either way you both have major red flags.
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I would talk to him about it, but at the end of the day if you don’t trust him your relationship is not going to work
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about my boyfriend texting his ex?
Either stay and let it go or throw a fit and leave
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Talk to him about it communication is key let him know how it made you feel if you love him and want this to last talk about it with him
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Honestly I don’t get the oh you’re not allowed to talk to your ex’s 
if there is nothing going on between the two of them why does it matter 
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Why have you waited 6 mnths to let it bother you.
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Was the conversation inappropriate? I think it comes down to that. If it was, I’d be done. If not, let him know how u feel about him communicating with his ex. Sometimes there’s a legit reason for it
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You can only ask him to stop. But it’s probably not going to stop.
Y do u feel need to go through the phone especially if there’s more to story you ain’t telling
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My opinion they are ex’s for a reason so no need to communicate not unless there is kids involved. Js
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I’m friends with my X. Doesn’t mean anything is going on. You didn’t really give any context other than he speaks to her. Also why are you going through his phone? That’s a big red flag…
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He should be an ex too
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If you have to creep his phone, he ain’t for you.
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I’d honestly put it on the back burner… maybe when he first met you he was at odds with his ex…
If he deleted it how did you find it in his inbox?
You literally had to be searching through his trash folder which would mean there is no trust already and your relationship is doomed
Also I’m assuming this is a new woman he’s been talking to recently which is why the messages were still retrievable correct?
What was he talking to his ex about back then?
How did you find out about it?
For me 1 strike and you’re out and he’s on #2…
It’s only been ten months, and he’s broken trust twice.
Dump his ass
Was it inappropriate? Otherwise I don’t understand why he can’t talk to an ex.
Personally … hiding it is a big no for me and I won’t let that go. Only thing I’d let go is him. Second, IF you don’t want to break up… you have to get past it ( past it, not over it because how do you just get over that?) … if you can’t get past it and move on, there’s no point in wasting your time or his. I feel like the main issue is him hiding it, and doing it for nearly half the relationship. Exes can be friends if things just didn’t work out, but hiding it for that long is a no go.
Best of luck to you no matter what happens!
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Guessing youve already moved in….
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Leave him! He will do this through out your relationship.
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the fact you’re going through his phone 
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10 months? Lol cut your losses now
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Ok, first talk to him… communication is essential in a relationship, second this is a mom’s group! Maybe next time take your question to a different forum 
For this type of things men think that they should hide stuff from their partners, you can still have a amicable relationship with an ex
If he’s already done it twice it’s not gonna change sis
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Leave . If you’ve only been together for 10 months it’s just gonna get worse , why would you want to spend years with someone that still has communication with their ex ?
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Texting doesn’t mean much but hiding and deleting it is a problem and only you can make the decision to move on with or without him. Also sounds like a lack of communication from 1 or both of you.
Are they talking and having general conversation or are they flirting
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Unless it’s a child involved then explain to me why anybody would be talking to an EX again 
I’m sure some will say we are better friends that bf/gf welp those steps should have been taken before going to the bf/gf step. Keep entertaining the past it’ll creep up and push out your present and future 
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It’s always a red flag when things are hidden from a relationship. My husband will tell me if women are messaging him and if they try anything more than just a friendly chat he blocks them. If your man won’t be respectful to you and let you know what’s going on then he needs to be gone.
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I would just say stay off of his phone. You guys are not married.
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My ex talks to me and deletes his messages so his old lady doesn’t see because she is controlling, like not allowing him to even drive or buy a car to go to work and let’s her teenagers take his stuff and makes him pay all the bills while she quit her job. But we have a child together so we talk all the tiime. Not saying you are like her but if you feel like he is not being honest then confront him. The worst he could say is yeah he is.
I’d just talk to him about how your feeling and go from there
One of my ex’s is my best friend. He’s gay now so it’s a little different, but my husband & him gets along great.
If you think they were talking more then friends do what you think is best. If it’s something you can work and move on from then I would try since it’s been a while ago.
Yeah id be out on that note
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My ex and I this morning… it’s usually short and to the point like this one… his gf and my bf know we talk sometimes and if they have a problem??? Oh well 
Run. You’re only 10 months in I’d gtfo asap.
If your in a relationship shouldn’t be talking unless there is kids involved. Other than that shouldn’t be talking to an ex period. I used to talk to an ex but since than I haven’t talked to him. No need to talk to an ex.
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How do you know he was hiding anything? Some people just delete their messages. Sounds like you haven’t even asked about it.
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You should leave and find someone who respects you more.
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Leave. Speaking from experience, I let it go the first time and he has done it numerous times after, with multiple people.
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My ex and current husband are like best friends. We all co parent children time to grow up
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Get checked for sexually transmitted diseases.
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Men only think with their dick see how he would like it if it was the other way round!
Ask him if he still thinks about/has feelings for any of his exes.
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Don’t let him use you as “just in case” option
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If he’s hiding it dump him
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We both have exes that we are friends with. In fact we hang out on occasion. I’d talk to him and ask him if you have anything to worry about. If not then ask to be included sometime. If he gets defensive, then you may have a problem.
Yeah get a pair of roller skates in skate
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Nothing, you can’t make a grown man do ANYTHING. The only thing YOU can control is yourself. You have a decision to make, are you going to stay or leave, that’s simple. 
Maybe talk to him about boundaries and why he did that
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I would ask him if he still loves her, he will say no you say why are to talking to her. She probably trying to get him back.
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My mom and dad deletes messages. They say more room on their phones for pictures, games, whatever they want on it… example app for tv shows or movies.
Talk to him about it. Let him know it’s causing insecurity. Be open about your expectations and lay it all out there. It puts you in a vulnerable place but he does deserve communication from you about it. Ask him directly what he is looking for and establish what you need from him moving forward to maintain confidence in your relationship. Depending on how he responds you should follow your instincts. At least it won’t be a secret that you expected autonomy and if he can’t hold up that part of the deal then make some life choices from there. You can’t be hurt and not tell him that.
Talk to him, set your boundary, leave him if he doesn’t respect it.
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you have only invested 10 months. Don’t invest any more. 
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Do they have kids together? If so he prob talks to her to talk to them, now deleting them yes id be concerned that there’s more going on. But if u dont talk to him u won’t know
Cut your losses. Trust me. Been there, done that. They don’t change
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I mean…i talk to all my exes. They were my best friends at one point. But i also never hid the conversations and was open about it.
If hes hiding/deleting…theres a problem and id be bringing it up. Id also state that idc if he wants to talk to them but he shouldn’t be hiding it or deleting msgs if theres nothing to hide or delete. Cuz that affects your trust in him now obviously.
Had u seen the msgs and they werent culpable, then you wouldnt be upset (hopefully…cuz thatd be a YOU issue)
Then youd be in the wrong for looking.
However …when u look and find things deleted, thats a massive trust issue on his part now. And your instincts were obviously right to look.
Hiding and deleting it isn’t ok. I would ask him point blank why he is deleting messages and why he is talking to her. See what he says and does. Then be honest about how it makes you feel. If he gets defensive, says it’s no big deal and continues then u hv a decision to make. It’s perfectly ok to hv boundaries and feelings. If no one had boundaries or cared what their significant other does then lol omg it would be like a free for all and anyone could do anything they wanted. That’s not a relationship or a healthy one at that. Communication is important and respect.
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Ask him about it. Ten months in, now is the time to be upright and forthcoming. NOW. Even if you happen to cry during this conversation, do it anyway. Let him know how you feel, what your worries are and why this is bothersome to you. If he’s hiding it though, definitely not a good sign
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He may want to get a leg over again
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If you are together all the time he can’t be physically cheating. You have to decide how much his talking to her bothers you and proceed from there. I would ask him about it but that’s me!
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It probably just took him a minute to cut her loose. He deleted it bc he wished she was gone sooner and maybe she was after that. How is your sex life? Good? It sounds like for the last six months y’all have been good and no sign of trouble. Put it out of your mind. Live your life and love your best. Liars and cheats will expose themselves all on their own. Until then, give him the benefit of the doubt. He could be doing everything right, at least lately. Run with that. Good luck.
Well there’s one thing not even being mentioned by anyone here. You read his inbox and his deleted messages and you are not even married. Dos he know you invaded his privacy and were snooping?
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People dont clear their history on their devices to be good housekeepers, the statistical probability is his and your ideas of commited monogamy are drastically different
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How do you know it wasnt bad if he deleted it?
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If he just talking no big deal
Talking to him is the best option. Always.
Should he have told you, yes. Find out why he hasn’t. He may not see an issue. If that’s the case, you 2 may not be on the same page. Find out now.
But to do that, you have to talk to him.
I have exes and male friends I talk to. 
When we discuss something overly personal, many are fellow combat vets, I delete the messages. They don’t want their business to get out and I do what I can to ensure it doesn’t.
Girl get out while you don’t have any attachments !
communicate if you want this relationship, be open and up front about your feelings and why you feel the way you do and his reaction will let you know if he is worth keeping
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It doesn’t sound like you trusted him to start with
If you felt the need to go snoozing through his phone
Perhaps him and his ex are still friends
Ask yourself why youre with someone that you feel the need to look through their personal information
First, don’t go snooping around in someone else’s phone. Second, if he isn’t too pissed about your snooping, ask if he’s friends with his ex and go from there.
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Me personally, if I have to look through my husbands phone, I’m out.