What should I do about my child acting out at school?

So the back story, I have a seven-year-old son who is acting up in school in his programs that are helping him. He is crying and getting under the table. We don’t know why he his doing this, and on top of all of this someone called the social worker on us, they came to my house even the cops came we went to the doctor, and they all said the same thing, that someone did just to mess with us. The investigation is not closed, but it will be soon, I don’t know. Maybe this event is probably the reason why he is acting up. Can any of you give me advice already on his games and tv privileges? He is still acting up. What else can I do for him to understand that he should stop acting up?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about my child acting out at school?

What was the accusation against you for the cops and social worker to get involved :thinking:

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Stay consistent and firm with all disciplinary actions.
Allowing him to get by with it one day and then getting onto him another is not good. Ask him if there is any bullying going on. With other students or teachers. Make sure he’s getting plenty of sleep at night and not getting up in the night to get on the things that he’s being denied(I do the same) during the day. Good luck mama.

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Get him into therapy. If the behaviors started after the social worker showing up then it’s most likely anxiety at this point due to fear. It’s traumatic for a child when a social worker shows up cause they will fear that they’ll be taken away. Best bet at this point is therapy for him

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Hope and pray he’s better soon :heart::pray:

Reassure him and give him lots of love

so you are saying your son is only acting this way because someone called social services on you?? But it sounded like he was acting out in school before this happened,!!! If he is in special classes to begin with, there is a reason for that. You need for him, maybe to see a therapist. It jsut might help him, along with getting him away from sugars & a lot of other foods, that could be doing this to him. Research foods & dyes in foods that can affect everyone’s behavoir

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I suggest finding a child therapist and see if they can get to the root of the issue

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My son did this when he was on adhd medication and they changed it. The exact same thing

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Why did someone call CPS on you?? CPS only brings the police with them if there have been multiple reports of your child’s welfare. So, his acting up in school is cause for concern. Something is wrong and you need to get him help immediately. Therapy, socialization programs. Talking to him. Maybe he’s stressed out. Maybe someone hurt him at school. Play hooky for a day and find out what’s going on.

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Sounds like reactive behavior to me like he’s experienced some form of trauma at school.

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Emotional issues don’t respond to typical parenting imho🤷‍♀️ And I’m speaking 100% from experience and talking a ton with other parents dealing with the same issues. I can’t say I’ve really found anything that “fixed” the issues but I have taken every and any class, group, certification, whatever you’d like to call them, but if it at all related to the issues we were dealing with, I signed up and completed the program. I truly believe the best thing any parent can do for a child with emotional/behavioral/psychological issues is to dive deep into bettering yourself so that you can be setting the very best example for them, kids don’t really “listen” to adults, they follow what they see and are taught by watching the adults in their lives and sadly so many adults just never deal with their own issues but then expect that these kids aren’t going to pick up on the very same bad behaviors/ thinking/patterns, and worse even. Find programs for him as well and therapy is a must in our home! You are never “done” working on yourself bc we all have room to grow, no matter where we’re at and how well we’re doing💞 Once i began to understand the science and psychology behind why our daughters were doing the things they were, why they had the feelings they did, what those behaviors really meant… Then we’ve been able to adjust our parenting styles accordingly and even ourselves. And again, so much of it comes down to what they are seeing, and as individuals that come from very very toxic families and backgrounds, it’s not only the parents they learn from unfortunately. Bare minimum I know that I’ve given my daughters tools that I only wish I had had in my childhood/teens/young adulthood, and I know that they have a foundation that will not allow them to not see their own issues and at least have the knowledge of where to go, what to do, who to see, when they need help and i think that’s really the best a parent with children with emotional/behavioral/psychological issues can do🤷‍♀️ CPS is and can be a total nightmare but I don’t think a child of his age can really be affected by being talked to so i would look elsewhere for the root issue. And CPS does present a unique opportunity to receive some help and programs that may otherwise be rather difficult to get into. This doesn’t have to be a negative thing, you can use it to improve, for him and any other children in your care/ home, but also for yourselves💗 And one thing I have learned about the entire thing with CPS, juvenile anything really that we would consider “trouble”, but if they see you are literally trying and doing your best, even with clear and present problems, they won’t bother you if you’re trying! They CAN’T really… Think about it… If you’re willing doing all the programs on your own already then wtf can they even say or do???

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Is there a bully? How’s his reading skills? Is there new people around him? These questions can possibly provide clues to his behavior. Has he been evaluated for ADHD or whatever other alphabet soup they’ve got going on nowadays? (I mean no disrespect, its just really hard for me to remember acronyms)
Children don’t just act out because they are “bad kids” there is a reason. Find it, you’ll be better equipped to find a solution.

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So my son does this. He’s 6 and on the ASD spectrum. Anytime he’s experiencing sensory overload he will hide and cry because sometimes noise is physically painful for him. He absolutely lothes music class and said the sound makes his teeth hurt.

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Speak with the teacher and school counselor, see if they can identify any triggers for him. Speak with your pediatrician as well. It sounds like your child is hiding for a reason, he could just be over stimulated. Seek out a therapist that could help.
Definitely do not discipline him, he needs help, if he won’t talk to you, see if he will talk to someone.

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My son did the same thing. But he had lost his baby brother. He had to do a lot of counseling. But he was shortly later diagnosed ADHD. The acting out went down. But I would also look into bullying kids don’t know how to control their emotions we have to teach them .

Have you looked into any sensory processing? Some kids are overwhelmed and could benefit from a change in their environment in order to learn better and maintain their behaviors

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Try different forms of punishment spankings. Consequences. Etc

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Not sure if crying under a table deserves getting screen time taken. Reward him for good behavior with toys from the dollar tree or the park or something extra. I find that rewards for good behavior work further than discipline for behavior that is confusing.

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Has he been assessed for any adhd asd spd ? My son and nephew do this when they get overwhelmed and go Into a meltdown… kids don’t act like this for no reason, always a reason behind it - schools and adults job to find out what could be bullying?

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At school have staff reinforce positive behavior, good job sitting in your chair, I love how you raised your hand, wow I see how hard your working. Ignore the more disruptive behavior. Have Counseler behavior team do a behavior support plan. To find out what is the function of the behavior. Is it escape, attention seeking, to difficult. Once you find that out then the staff and the home will know what to do

Go to school with him once day and watch to see if you can understand what triggers him.

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Maybe he has been through something traumatic that:-

A) Might seem minor to you being an adult but could be largely impacting him
B) You might not be aware of it i.e. bullying at school, being harassed by an adult/teacher/family member but you haven’t seen it or he hasn’t said anything to you
C) May have an underlying learning disability and is becoming to overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to express this

At the end of the day he is 7 so he is still little.

I think you should get him some help even if Iya behavioral help and doesn’t need to be anything in depth to begin with! Just an outsider (a professional of course) to see if they can unravel any suppressed emotions.

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My son also did the same thing but it was because he had severe anxiety he may not be adjusted to his situation and you may want to try to figure out a routine that makes him feel a little bit more comfortable he may have fears and concerns when he’s there. Communication is really super big my son knows that he can talk to me about anything and everything and he does and because he does things run a lot smoother sit down and talk to your child with a soft voice and a comforting touch and say what’s wrong why is this happening what can Mom do to fix it I want you to be happy when you’re there I don’t want you to be sad. If he’s getting under the table and crying it’s not like he’s punching somebody in the face you don’t punish kids for having emotions.

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*he may also have something called sensory overload my son doesn’t deal with that but I do and it makes it very uncomfortable for me to be in a place where there’s a lot of noise a lot of sound Bright lights more than one type of noise like if a radio is playing in the TVs playing or someone’s talking in a TV’s loud I can’t be in the room because I cannot process all the things that are going on so that could possibly be something as well speak to your child, and then speak to his doctor and then go from there don’t punish the child.

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It sounds like he is overwhelmed and trying his best. He doesn’t need to be punished for it any more than any of us grownups would be punished for feeling overwhelmed or scared. Try therapy for him bc they can offer lots of great suggestions, as well as offering testing for things like sensory disorders.

Honestly how you explained is my son, down to the T and once I got him in counseling he was a whole different child. I was hesitant about getting him on medication so I talked to his counselor and doctor about CBD drops and they both approved it and he did that for a while it helped him a bunch, but it’s not legal in our state(I found out after someone called DHR for it) so we got him on a non stimulating medication(it’s the same thing but not as strong as riddlin and folcain but does the same job) and it helped the rest of the way that taking him to a counselor.

Find a therapist for him. Something is up and he’s communicating by acting out because he’s 7 and doesn’t know what else to do.

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Yup, this is a job for a therapist. Go to a pro to figure out why he’s doing this & listen & follow through when they advise you what to do. I assume you have already talked to his teacher and others at school to find out what’s going on with him. Clearly this comes from trauma/fear & your chastising him only makes it worse. You have to fix the fear/trauma before the behavior.

Work with lots of positive reinforcement like stickers on a chart for good behavior. Less punishment, more talking with calm, not accusatory questions and listen to his answers without interrupting or commenting. What is comforting about getting under your desk? What is it that makes you want to cry? What are some things that scare you? What would make you feel better? What would help you feel happier (or more safe, or secure)? Just ask one question a day, and maybe ask him in the morning and tell him to think about it and you’ll talk about it in the evening. I find this works with talking to grown men too. They only seem to be able to concentrate on one thing at a time.

Have a few specific rules to follow at home (10 max), keep a regular schedule so he knows what to expect most of the time and there are few surprises or changes of plans. Sh!t happens, but stay on track as much as possible.

Who else lives with you and your son? Are they doing something to disrupt his life?

Good luck! Most kids don’t misbehave on purpose; it’s a reaction to feeling bad about something. Hope you are able to get to the root of what’s bugging your son and are able to alleviate his fears.

How old is he? Sounds like he may be on the spectrum.

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I wouldn’t consider hiding and crying as “acting up”
THERE :clap: IS :clap: SOMETHING :clap: WRONG :clap: WITH :clap: YOUR :clap: CHILD :clap:
Do NOT discipline your child for having emotions

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Take him to a play therapist. They will be able to help figure things out. I toke my child to one for a while and she helped me connect the dots better as to what was bothering my son when he was younger.

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When my 7 year old was acting. Up like this it was because a teacher was hurting him. They would call me and tell me my son was acting up and they had to do this and this and this …. Until I saw the bruises and got him out of there

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I would have him assed for sensory processing disorder, ASD, and ADHD, and anxiety my son has all 4 of those and he has the same behaviors, we had to change his time at school to help with this so now he only goes until 12pm while we work on proper medication for him, having punishments for a child who is literally freaking out because they don’t understand and can’t deal with what is going on is not ok, because you are punishing them for something they can’t control. We also had someone call dfcs over the crap they said the same thing that someone did this to mess with us and all they did was look to see that the kids had there own rooms and that we had food and running water and then closed it. You need to figure out the problem because there absolutely is something going on for your child to be doing this.

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Take him to a child councilor.

Try homeschooling he may need quite place to do his schooling

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My youngest was acting out at school at thar age, turned out he was undiagnosed dyslexic

Talk. To. His. Doctor.
I’m not saying this to be mean or rude, but realistically speaking there could be so many “whys” as to why your child is acting like this…and we as an audience just don’t have enough information.
Has he always done this? How does he act at home? Are there any other behaviors that may not be…bad…but sorta quirky? (Lining toys up. things having to be a specific way. getting over upset when plans have to change. obsessions beyond just normal interest)

Those whys matter when trying to approach a child’s behavior.
For example, if your child has sensory processing issues, and is hiding under his desk and crying because he’s overstimulated by something…punishing him is NOT going to help. Accommodating him will (think like sunglasses for bright lights. noise cancelling headphones for noises ect)

Does he have an IEP( individualized education plan). Has he been evaluated for any special needs? An IEP could get him into a smaller class room and give him the opportunity to have small breaks ever so often. Sounds like he’s being overwhelmed. Have the school evaluate him. If they won’t, speak to his pediatrician about having him evaluated. Best of luck.

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Why did they call CPS? For the cops to come too they really believed what was reported. They felt like he was in danger at home. Are you in fact sure he isn’t? Is there someone in your home who in fact without you knowing it is hurting your child? Kids don’t hide and cry for no reason. That’s not acting out. He’s scared. Find out WHY!

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There’s a lot going on right now with all of us. The children are affected by what’s going i in the world just like us. He may have anxiety or worries. Take him to a child psychologist or therapist.

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My daughter was like this, she was diagnosed with SPD (sensory processing disorder) as well as high/extreme anxiety and depression. (Depression caused by someone bullying her at the age of 5, anxiety shortly after followed by the SPD). It was a long road, but eventually with a lot of help and support she has come to control herself more, she can sometimes notice if she is about to have a “melt down” (her words), and in that case she takes herself away from everyone for a few minutes and then returns and is fine. It’s not easy, but it does get better.

Try asking him about his feelings and why he’s doing it? Maybe he’s just having a bad day? Maybe someone did something to him? Ask questions and listen! I used to lay on the floor with my kids and talk with them. You’d be surprised at how much they have to say. It’s worth a shot!

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dyslexia adhd etc can all cause those symptoms get him assessed

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Sounds like he could be struggling in the classroom does he struggle being around lots of people?

Go to his Dr this might be medical

Ok so if a child is getting under a table and crying he sounds stressed out not in need of punishment have you tried counseling or homeschool it or I don’t know trying to talk to him something’s wrong and your idea that discipline because he’s not being “normal” is only going to effect him worse

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Try asking him, or asking him what you can do to make him happy.

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Maybe someone is being a bully to him at school

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Some people can’t mind their own business

He’s 7, he lacks impulse control and there seems to be a lot going on around him. It could just be that he’s 7 and doesn’t grasp the concept of when it’s time to sit and pay attention versus playing around. It could also be a number of other things. I wouldn’t straight out punish him. It may be something out of his control. Make an appointment with his pediatrician. That’s gonna be your best resource at getting him the proper diagnosis and help that he needs. In the mean time, be patient with him. Each time he does something he shouldn’t, without yelling at him, get on his level, ask him what he did, what he was supposed to be doing, what he can do to handle the situation in the future. Be consistent, be compassionate and try to be understanding. Children don’t process things the way that adults do.

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discuss adhd with the dr.

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Is this new behaviour ?
Is he acting up at home or only at school ?
Hes 7…sometimes their emotions /fears get the better of them and they cant vocalise their feelings so act up
Personally don’t think punishment is the way to go tbh.
Maybe get him to draw pics of how he’s feeling/whats happening and ask him to explain what the pic is showing .

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Find out why he’s acting out. Often times it’s a cry for attention or they’re trying to tell us something.

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Counseling to get to the bottom of it

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He may be trying to get your attention. Sit and talk to him. Never know whats bothering him.

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So you’re seeing that your kid is over stimulated and stressed and want to punish him? :grimacing: talk to the school counselor and see what they can do/suggest to help him with calming himself. Talk to his doctor about the possibility or ADHD and other behavioral/stimulation disorders. Punishing him for that can make just it worse.

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I would be trying to figure out whats going on in the classroom to see why he acts that way. Im sorry hes to young to be diagnosed add or adhd.

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Dyslexia, adhd , mood disorder, phonological disorder.
Get a Neurological testing out of school and request this from the school and also let them know you understand that you qualify for the school to pay for it because you are low income and your sons on an iep.
Send this in writing! Good luck.:heart:
Also if he struggles with any of this , this is a long battle for him and you. And he can’t control it , after that get a therapist and med prescriber.

I have gone through all this and he’s 13 and still has his battles but he can control them better now.

Advocate for your baby.
Your his voice and he needs help but can’t word it. :heart:

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ADHD disorder- get him tested

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Take to pediatrician documenting the behavior and talking so it’s in his medical record will help. When social services ever do come back to investigate then you also are covering yourself. It could very well be because of social services my kids went through something very similar as my mother got angry and called on my husband and I my kids were put thru hell because of it. Here if you need to talk