What should I do about my family?

So don’t pay em one month and save that money. They have to legally give you 30 days. That’s two months worth of rent saved up that you should be able to use to find a place.

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if you receieve your mail there they have to evict U legally that will allow u the time u need to save 4 Ur own place. They will not follow thru since evictions arent cheap. They Sound like money hungry assholes and wouldn’t spend the money they steal from family on anything but themselves . Stay :up: girl I admire your strength and fantastic Job on making something of yourself with no support from anyone. Soldier strength and dedication. No one can take from you the accomplishments You pushed thru the Struggles to gain. Drive, Dedication, Perseverance, all of which made your Success Possible.

I just got paid $7789 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $ 12038 her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less.

This is what I do… https://dollarnetcash1129.pages.dev/

I’m sorry they’re using you so

I’d say count your blessings. You bring home nearly 4 grand each month and still qualify for assistance? $500 in food stamps a month?? and you technically have no bills. Somethings wrong with the Kool aide!!
I don’t make near that kind of money and I don’t qualify for anything. And… I have bills to pay.
Even working part time you’re still getting food stamps, and if you can afford to pay your grandparents 1000 a month for a place to sleep, you should probably start saving some for your own place so you won’t have to worry about rather or not you’ll be kicked out in the future. It is possible to accomplish your master’s degree while living on your own. Having bills in your name will help your credit, you’ll likely qualify for child care for the simple fact you already get other assistance, and maybe if you live on your own and have bills in your name you’ll get more food stamps.
Seems like you’re only in this position because you want to be. Who cares if you have to rent a place “in the ghetto?” It doesn’t have to be permanent and it will be yours.
Sorry if this isn’t what you hoped to hear, maybe the unpopular opinion here, but I’m dumbfounded.
Good luck with everything, I hope it all works in your favor.

I think it is amazing you have a degree, but that cost a lot of money right? School
Is not free? Or is it? If you could raise the money to go to school then you can raise the money to live in a decent place.

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If you get food stamps talk to your case worker about housing assistance

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I would be hurtful there are people your own blood that does that to you, congrats on your success don’t ever give up, I would move out and never look back thank you but no thank you, see if you can get housing, start with a bachelor apartment start small and work your way up, it’s possible, sometimes air b&b are cheaper a month then rent it’s possible look around move from that area to another look online for places to be, make a post in your local paper or something someone will help !

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If you’re still in school, don’t buy all of your books. See if the library has any or if they’re available through inter-library loan. If not, check online for used copies. College bookstores notoriously mark up textbooks. Another option is renting them.

Does your school have housing resources for students? Are you taking out student loans? I understand how unappealing student loans are, but one year of loans to complete a MA in your case is likely worth it.

It does sound like your relatives are taking advantage of your good fortune. From now on, don’t share your income information with them. You might also want to see if your school has subsidized daycare for students.

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First, why in the heck is everyone in the family moving in with your grandparents? Second, it’s none of your families business how much you make or are paying! Third, can you find a place that doesn’t require a credit check and get the heck out of there? You are already bettering yourself by getting an education, you don’t need them! You can talk to a realtor to help you look for apartments.

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Life is destined to be rough for some of us. We struggle and struggle and keep pushing forward anyway. I have had a very tough few years and I just keep pushing ahead and making it happen for my three young children. I’m in school too, busting my ass trying to get my degree while also working my ass off and trying to raise 3 kids. It’s so hard and there are days where I just want to cry myself to sleep. I feel so overwhelmed the majority of the time, but I know if I just keep pushing forward it will all be worth it. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. Lol. I have no advice about your family other than to say that they sound toxic ASF and I would cut contact down to a bare minimum once I was out of this situation. There are programs out there for people in your situation. You just have to find them and apply. If you’re on food stamps and cash aid, you can probably also qualify for housing subsidies. Or at least qualify for a program that offers rent relief for low income people. Being a single mother going to school will honestly increase your chances of receiving assistance by a lot. You pay into those benefits, so do not be afraid to ask for them when you clearly need them. Go to your local welfare office and explain your situation and that you need housing. There has to be something somewhere that will help to get you by until you can afford to take care of yourself completely. Best of luck to you and I really hope that everything works out for you

Pray about it God will make a way
Prayer changes things.

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Ur family sounds horrible!! They should see all that u are already doing and that is with kids and going to college!!! To me I believe they taking alot of money from u and not being reasonable with you knowing that u and your kids cannot b on the streets… in my book u pay everything I don’t see why they won’t see that u r helping them out with all that money and ur foodstamps that are ment for YOUR KIDS BELLYS !!! I really hope u can find a way to get housing and get out of there I am pretty sure u can look for cheap income housing for having kids as well u should be qualified for section 8 or should definitely get some type of assistance for you and your kids. These are hard times I prey God can help u find something In your life maybe a church?

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Be proud of your education and hard work…is there anyway you can move to a place where rent is cheep ie another state?

maybe look into moving to a place where rent isnt so high. in my part of the country you can find pretty decent apartments for less than a thousand a month. ask for food stamps caseworker about housing assistance since you might qualify since you still qualify for food stamps

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See if you can rent a room somewhere else. Or find someone looking for a roommate and explain the situation.

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Sending prayers for you and your son. I hope everything turns out well for you both.

I see. Well, congratulations on all of your accomplishments ! I was moved reading your story. I sense that they are in disbelief and sounds as long as you’re doing good, paying them rent it, agreeing to deals etc makes it feel good for them to know that maybe someone in the family turned out alright and want to make alittle something off you while you make something of yourself.
The closer you get to being “Independent”, although I get the impression you’re not co-dependent-just in need of alittle help getting you to where you need and want to be, anyways, the closer you get-notice the any comments etc, ok, maybe that’s because you about to move on means they’re going to lose that extra money & food assistance or, they knew this day was going to come anyways and someone else would need a place to stay as is happening and it could remind them of the rest of the family that messed up, or wasn’t as successful as you. They are family and they tend to feel comfortable to show their teeth but hopefully they don’t bite.
So, this can prob get alittle sticky at the “end” bc they want what they want and you need what you need, ok, so here’s the best thing I can think of off top my head, if they won’t budge and you still need them, say “Look here’s the deal, I’ve been a tenant here now for ‘X amount of time’ and it’s like this, I really have no where to go at the time you expect me to be out, I’ve tried and if you try to force me to leave my only current place of residence then I will have no other choice to force YOUUUU to seek legal action at civil court and we can discuss this matter before a Landlord/Tenant Judge”.
Please check with your local courts about your rights as a tenant. You don’t have to get into the details of who the people are you rent space from, you just have to prove you live there and elaborate to a Judge. That way, you don’t have to argue with them and hopefully carry on as you were but do try to find another place Asap bc I understand all to well about staying somewhere where someone else can make life harder than need me or miserable people are u happy people and tend to make everyone else miserable around them. Like a narcissist. But they don’t sound too bad so they can’t be narcs. With that out of the way, In the meantime at least you covered your “home base” where you’re at currently, were until they either compromise or else.
Goodluck, best wishes and stay safe! God bless! :pray:t3:

If you would like to message me personally and tell me where you’re from I can help you look into getting into somewhere that will be safe for both you and your children. And something that you would be able to afford. I can also help look for daycares, if needed as well.

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Go rent just a room until u can get all your debt paid off

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Wow your story is so sad I don’t know what advice to give you but keep your head up love keep trucking on it’s got to get better I hope so

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Can you look into student housing at your college? I really think I would consider moving to a cheaper part of the country. Ot doesn’t sound like you are being provided much in the way of emotional or any other kind of support.

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You are doing so so well to go back and study and graduate, congratulations :champagne: I’m sorry you don’t have the family support that you need

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I dunno, but don’t give up. You sound like a great role model for your kid. You deserve better family, I’m so sorry. You need to get away from them and make a new family.

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I would personally would view taking my child and standing on an on-ramp with a cardboard sign preferable to putting up with toxic and greedy family, you need to problem solve this for you and your childs well being

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Wow smh to your family! They just see $$ signs from you. But congratulations on going to school and going through that mess.

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Look at subsidized housing low income apartments call your local housing authority

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I can emphasize with you but you need to get your own place now not later. There is a spirit of oppression in your families home. I’ve been in your shoes. There are agencies that will help you get a place for you and your child at a price you can afford. They will also help you with quality child care. Find a local church. They may help you as well or lead you to someone that will.

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Try student housing for families. I know some schools have apartments for students with families. I’m sorry you are struggling. I hate when family members are all about money. You are basically paying for everything at that house. Paying for the way of life for r everyone. I pray a solution comes to you.

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They’re using you, and for them to demand your SNAP benefits is illegal.

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It’s a shame that your family is taking advantage of you while they’ll throw it their face they’re taking care of you! Which isn’t true because you’re paying more than you actually should. Sorry girl. Keep doing you and I hope you find a place soon.

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I’ll tell you what. You will be fine. I don’t think you are truly giving yourself enough credit. You have already accomplished so dam much girl! If no one has said so, well I am pretty dam proud of you. I look forward to the day you graduate with that masters and shine like the star you are!

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They’re trash. I’m sorry you have had to endure all these mental abuse. :sob:
I really hope you find somewhere.

Don’t walk RUN AWAY from that toxic family! Apply for subsidized housing and get your child out of that situation. You are way too good for that! All they see is money and you and your son deserve so much better!

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Do they own the home or rent it?
If they own the home find out what they pay in rates.
They cannot charge you more than the rates they pay.
And obviously if they are charging you rent there should be some form of lease agreement that’s been signed by both them and you.
And if they are renting the home it would want to be a castle to be charging everyone so much.
You’ve let them put you in one hell of a position here.

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I’d say they are projecting their frustration onto you, I can imagine their attitude has nothing to do with you. In future keep private matters, private around them.
Love on them but move on and move out. Could you find a private room until you can find your feet?
It almost sounds as though they don’t want to see you out of the rut

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So what you’re doing by using your SNAP to pay your rent is illegal. It’s fraud. Your food stamps are only supposed to be for you and your children. I’d move out. What about applying for housing that is based on your income, such as housing that is subsidized by HUD?

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Jesus … they are taking advantage. Even a rent by the week or month (extended stay) hotel is cheaper than what your family is charging.

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Look for based on income housing and call your local community action they have great resources

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Your family is a real pice of work. They are helping themselves more than helping you. Take your food stamps & get ahold of HUD or the agency in your area that works with that housing. There must be agencies in tyur area that can help you get your own place. You culd even ask churches. They help people too. God luck & God Bless you.

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There’s programs to help first time homeowners with very low to low income get a house. They cover deposit, closing costs, and can get you a cheaper mortgage based on your income. Usda loans, Single family direct loans, fha, etc. go to usda.gov and spend time researching it. Contact them or a bank in your area that utilizes these loan options. Ask questions.

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Leave now go to a shelter please

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Tell your case worker and see if they can help

That’s awful. Don’t pay them another dime. They can’t kick you out without notice, it’s called the squatters law. They have to go to court in the mean time save up as much money as possible. Go to the state they will help you find a place.

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Figure out a way to leave. Look for people looking for roommates, a lot of people are looking to rent a single room with bathroom for
Much more reasonable costs than that. Sorry you family sucks but leave and never look back.

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How do you even get FS without a rent or utilities in your name. I’m lost

Section 8 housing. You need to get an emergency hearing. I hope you do, you deserve better and you’re being held responsible for other people’s problems/choices/being taken advantage of. XXXOOO to you and your babe :heart:

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I’m sorry to hear you are going through this
Sadly a lot of grand parents can be like that

Next day. Do a random act of kindness. Therapeutic.
Don’t give up.

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I would love to open my home to you.

That sounds pretty toxic and manipulative. I’d get out as soon as you can. Even if it’s a temporary situation until something better comes up.

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You’d be better off at a shelter than losing everything if you’re found guilty of fraud just to keep them happy!!

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I am SO sorry your grandparents are doing this to you! That’s so completely messed up! Ugh. Have you looked into BUYING a home? You can still buy a home with poor credit. You can have them do manual underwriting to close on the home. Buying a small little home for you and your son may be just what you need to get your life started. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Your grandparents are using you. :disappointed: shame on them!

I would honestly just stop paying them that much rent. Give them the food stamps (even though that’s technically illegal) and call it a day! That’s more than what your uncle is paying so they can suck it. Tell them you had some bills to pay so you don’t have the money to pay rent this month and just tuck that away into a savings.

Please continue to work your butt off for you and your child. But leave the situation you are in ASAP. Look for private landlords. Sometimes they will take a chance on someone. Why is your credit low? Is it becuase you are young and don’t have much credit? Or is it becuase you have unpaid bills in collection? A lot of private landlords will look past low credit if it’s becuase you are young and just don’t have a lot of credit, it’s medical bills or student loans making your credit low.

Good luck! I hope that you are able to get out of this situation and get your feet on the ground and start an AMAZING life for you and your child. :two_hearts:

Keep reaching for the stars and working hard! You got this! :muscle:t2::two_hearts:

Damn girl where do you live I can put you I could rent you a room for say 3 350 a month and help with groceries

I’d get a cheap motel. Sounds like that would be way more affordable and you’d be alone without all this pressure. I know a cheap motel isn’t the greatest place to stay but for now it may help you save more efficiently. Good luck and good job :clap:t2: on your education.

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Look apply for income housing everywhere. Apply for WIC, apply for headstart. I also like the idea of getting ur card turned off and saying u got cut off. Then getting a new one. Don’t pay a dime and save the money. Yes they will kick you out, but they will have to do it through the court. If they make things hard on you then just tell them ur check at work was switching to bi-weekly pay and that u will have to wait to pay them when in reality you are saving the money. This will buy u a couple of weeks.

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Stop think things out ask for help from the government surely there is places like the Salvation Army who will help you to get your place and also help with furniture and so forth there is also daycare for your children am sure there is help for single mums find out

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It is very common that a room for rent is $800-$1000.
It’s unfair that other renters pay way less than you do.
U need to go to live in shelter and they will help pay for move in cost and find low income housing so u will get approved.
U shouldn’t ever let them have ur food stamp cats. Say it got lost and they will cancel it and get a new card.
Apply for childcare help.
Move out and never look back.

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This is awful but you have great suggestions above I hope you take the advise that you came her looking for

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That is a toxic environment hun, go to a shelter or speak with a caes worker. Obviously your family is only after whatever you can give them. Your sin is watching and learning from this. Flip the page and move on.

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Why do people know your income? Get in section 8. Try to find a roommate situation.

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Holy! Seriously?!&$#@ 1st of all, congrats on being a successful college graduate! That is so much harder to accomplish with a child. 2nd, your “family” sucks! And clearly they don’t know the meaning. They are clearly taking advantage of your horrible situation. Do they have any motels in a somewhat decent area where you can pay WK to WK? If not I’d go down to family services, explain your situation and perhaps they will have listings of apartments that won’t do credit checks, which I realize won’t be in the best of neighborhoods but possibly cheaper til you can stand better on your feet? Do you have any friends or perhaps a decent cousin /family member that you can think of who may be willing to go halves with you on an apartment? I feel awful for you and your child. Best of luck.

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That is way to much to read. First off you should have your own place. You should be working not getting cash assistance. You need to take care of your children no one else. You get all this assistance, you can get child care help too. Find a low income place to live also.
I was a single mom of 2 going to school and worked 2 jobs. 1 was a infant with no father. So stop making excuses. I did not live in low income housing my rent was 950. I did not get child support either!

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I don’t where you live but you have a car. Start looking outside your current city. I live in Kansas City and you can get a 2 bed 2 bath with a private landlord easy. Moving to less expensive City until you can afford to live where you want is better than being homeless.

Move out now. They are sucking your blood and spirit. They suck.

First off, you live there so no matter if it’s family or not they have to go through the legal process to kick you out! Doesnt matter if they throw your stuff on the porch and lock the doors. You call the cops and they have to let you back in because you live there. They can’t just kick you out. They have to go through the magistrate just like any other landlord would have too. So that buys you time. Youve got some options. First I would apply for housing/Section 8, being you work, go to school, have a child, and are facing homelessness you will get bumped to the head of the list. People think that not having a job gets you in faster but it’s actually the opposite. Secondly, get your food stamp card cancelled and get a new one and do not tell your grandparents, rent a PO Box to have your mail sent there so they no longer can see your mail. Thirdly, I would not give them a dime!! Save your money and let them have to evict you the right way!! Post in the schools bulletin board for a roommate or at your child’s Preschool/Headstart there are other single moms in the same situation that would love to share an appt and expenses. Other option that people never think of and that get scared of is asking for help with CPS/Children & Youth (what ever it’s called where you live). Parents always just think they are there to take your kids. But they are not, they are there for help also. Myself and my family(sign. other and our 6 children) were homeless living in a hotel and they helped us find our apt and paid the first 3 months of rent so that we could get back on our feet. If you are doing the right thing, aren’t doing drugs, they are a major help!! Also your child’s school are also there to help. There are also programs through the food stamp assistance office that will help with money for rent and security. There is also still the ERAP program going on to help with 3 months rent, also which can be sent to your grandparents for rent!! Once all this is done and over with and you’ve got your masters, a home for you and your child, please set some boundaries and distance from your family!! They will bleed you dry! Sounds like the only thing they care about is money and family and love mean nothing. You keep doing what your doing!! Your hard work and love for your child will all be worth it in the end and your child will appreciate everything you have done for him/her!!!

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Try to get a second job to save money so u can pay your debt down and move out. They are nasty grandparents and u and your kids deserve better. Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

I don’t have any suggestions for you. But you sound like a very intelligent, determined, head strong young lady. Keep your head up and continue pushing forward. You’ll get where you want to be. I know you will. And you can move on and leave them all where they’re at. No contact even. Just stay strong mama. You got this! :muscle:t5::revolving_hearts:

You need to find out what assistance is available to you. You also fall under the tenants act, so they just can’t raise your rent when they feel like it and certainly can’t throw you out without a written notice. Also you need to find out if it is legal for someone else to use your food stamps. This is illegal in some places. You should be so proud of what you have accomplished and continue to do, but get away from this family

Yes I see that they care about there selves