Ur not wrong. Let him go.
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Readšš¼thešš¼postšš¼againšš¼people.
Skim thru thešš¼commentsšš¼!
OP has said NUMEROUS times, she wasnāt planning on leaving without waking him up.
He wanted to stay and work!
He was sleeping because he works nights!
They evacuated to their hometown, he doesnāt need an invitation.
To me the marriage was already over, and toxic, he sounds very controlling may be a little narcissistic and possibly verbally abusive. Idkā¦ at the very least heās a big baby.
NOT EVERYONES HUSBAND IS THEIR ābest friendā. Some husbands suck. Facts. 
I donāt see it as something to just say fuck it and get a divorce over
I mean he can always gĆ³ live with that neighbor
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He could have evacuated heās a grown man
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Candace Bradford it says that he had been on the night shift, was sleeping when she started packing. Iām thinking he was already a bit controlling if he freaked out on her for packing while he was sleeping.
The way most would react to waking up and your wife packing would be to ask about it, and then understand shes not abandoning, just letting him sleep before they all take off.
She evacuated without him because he wouldnāt stop arguing, and she had to choose her familyās safety.
At least thats how i read it
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One thing I cannot seem to understand is the last sentence! He went with a man, do you mean he went with the neighbor man?
He apparently feels the need to be controlled by someone cause it seems he has always and youāre not a controlling woman so he is seeking it else where.
You didnāt wake your husband to evacuate? You just started packing? No wonder heās pissed!
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Communication is key. He wasnt prepared to listen to why she was packing. Her actions clearly triggered something in him which created a lack of reasoning.
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3 sides to every story and yours is biased IMO, I wish I knew his side in this. What hit home was your term ātherapists wishesā. Therapists never should have an opinion or āwishā that threw me off and LMK theres something skewed here.
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So many of yāall defending a man who was acting like a child. So many of you saying she should have done things for him in order to have prevented this situation as if he was a child.
If my SO woke up to me packing for evacuation, maybe heād be annoyed I didnāt wake him up sooner, but he absolutely would not start arguing with me or acting like a petulant child thinking I was abandoning him. He wouldnāt do things to jeopardize our safety. He would ask me what I needed help with and go do it. Once we were on the road and our family was safe, THEN we could work out whatever issues there might be.
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Girl sounds like you were better off without him, but i get the feeling you already know that.
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He needs to stay gone. You did just fine without him, you will continue to thrive without him. Drop the dead weight for good and have a fresh start. Your therapist was absolutely right to not want you to take him back. Let him stay gone. Change the locks and file those papers for good.
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Hun he will not change. Everything will continue to be your fault and never his. Please continue what you started by leaving/kicking him out and divorcing him. It would benefit you and your children. I wouldnāt tolerate that crap either. Sounds like HE needs the therapy to get over himself.
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Text book Narcissist. Big mistake letting him back into your life. They are predators and they covet and learn your weaknesses. I would kick him the F out get a restraining order and divorce him as fast as possible before he does anymore damage
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Yāall have bigger problems than this.
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Byeā¦keep moving forward and leave the baggage behind. Everyone will be better off.
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You evacuated with out your husbandš© and you are triggered about someone enquiring to see if your alright based on depression posts on social media. Then you post this train wreck blaming your husband for alot of what seems like your fault. you left him now your upset he made friends with the neighbours which is commonly normal when you go through natural disasters togetherā¦
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Maam, as someone whoās had to evacuate FOR a hurricane, clearly you had plenty of time and notice to wake your husband and discuss it with him because you were NOT evacuating during the hurricane, because the authorities are NOT going to allow you to risk driving during a hurricane once it hits. Nice try, but you tried. 
Thereās plenty of time to prepare and evacuate for a hurricane, talk to your spouse, and then hit the road. Thereās way more to this story, especially with you buying a house and all the other pertinent details. You donāt just run out the door and evacuate to another area in a matter of minutes, because itās not a tornado, and you also up and bought a house over an argument. That takes a LOT of planning. But if youāre unhappy and were before too, then divorce and go be happy.
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Girl your job was to protect your kids. Heās a grown ass man, he could have got up and helped and came too, he decided to throw a temper tantrum.
Sounds like a narcissist to me. Also sounds like you and the kids were doing great without him. Follow through with your plans for divorce and be happy on your own without the disrespect and drama.
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When I started reading your story my first thought was why would you make a plan of evacuation without talking to your partner? I would feel abandoned too if my husband was getting our kids and even the pets ready to leave and not even say anything to me. People donāt do that to someone they love. I feel youāre leaving out half the story. As far as the neighbors go somethingās not adding up for me with the conversation you had with the wife. I got a feeling she didnāt just lash out at you and was probably just checking on you. You didnāt like what she was saying and it blew up. Of course your husband made friends with people around him after a hurricane came through. He was alone. Rather Iām right or not doesnāt make a difference the answer to your question is the same. If youāre not happy then do something about it. Only you know the truth and know how you feel. Do whatās best for you and your children. I hope everything works out for you and your family.
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have you ever heard of communicating? Packing without talking to him about the plan to evacuate and then refusing to come back is abandoning him. My family lived through a tornado in 2018. Whatever my wife and I decided it was decided together and the entire family was staying or going. The cleanup afterwards was a time to unite and work together for our home and community. Your husband and the neighbor probably became friends during the cleanup process because thatās what neighbors do. You sound like the narcissist that didnāt communicate then didnāt return to do any of the hard work to cleanup after the storm.
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Iāll be the oddball and say things like this wouldnāt bother meā¦. Iād be more concerned about my kids and spouses safety- over feeling āabandonedā.
Weāve had to do many things in life and a lot of those times nobody wants to do them, but thus after exceeding every angle and all our options, it just worked out that way.
So that portion I can understand- though I wouldāve woken up my spouse well before I planned on packing to make sure everyone was on the same page.
Two- I donāt know the whole story, as does nobody else but you guys, so I canāt really say anyone is the bad guy in this scenario. Just seems like a lot of miscommunication and nobody wanting to see the others point of view.
IF yāall want to work out, then I say, take a step back and reflect on things. Him as well. Donāt jump the gun and make permanent decisions for temporary issues.
Work together, and, hypothetically, if you two canāt see eye to eye, then maybe part ways amicably and stay buddies till you can civilly be around one another.
You have little eyes watching you guys so just remember youāre teaching them the ways of how to set boundaries and work on their own issues in life.
Goodluck to you- and I hope yāall can find common ground and not let any outside influences come between you or be your voices.
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Your husband needs a therapist, sounds like he is suffering abandonment issues from his childhood and maybe feeling like his input is disregarded in this relationship. In saying that, it seems like the communication between you is very little, the respect for each other is non existent and both of you carry resentments. At the time of fleeing, I would have blurted out the reasons, no matter how unreasonable he may have been, he deserved that much. You called it quits before, do it again then, as I am certain this is what your husband is expecting. I wish you both well.
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Hold onā¦ Soā¦ You were trying to evacuate while he was asleep? Likeā¦ You were just going to hit the road with the kids andā¦ Whatā¦ Let him wake up alone and in the middle of a storm? Maybe Iām misreading something. I HOPE Iām misreading something. Iāve been married for 17 years. I have 5 kids from 4-16. I canāt imagine trying to evacuate and leaving my husband ASLEEP. If I were your husband I would have felt betrayed af! Surely you arenāt surprised at his response to you leaving him in the middle of a cat 4/5 hurricane! Who does that?
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I think you dodged a bullet. Let him go and keep your world safe for your kids. They are the priority.
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Iām stuck onā¦ a hurricane, a potentially deadly and definitely destructive hurricane, is barreling toward you and your family and your decide NOT to wake your husband up to evacuate with you and the kids 
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Your husband was looking for someone to tell him his ugly feelings toward you were justified. He chose some people of a generation where women were pretty much played down and undervalued. Your best bet is to let him go since he has chosen these people over you and your children. As for the hurricane, I donāt know about anyone else, but when that kind of weather is coming, there is ample warning. Surely the husband in this situation would have been aware of the hurricaneās potential to strike their area. It would have made sense for him to be keeping tabs on it, not sleeping through it. Any man with a family and property that I know would have been keeping his own eye on the weather. So the fact he was sleeping is on him. And how sound of a sleeper must he be to sleep through a family packing out during an emergency situation? He ought to be held responsible for his own side of this whole thing. So, maāam, youāre going to have to decide what is best for you and your children. Heās a grown man and he seems to have already made some of his own choices.
What Is done,is already done,you survived,and are able to move on,so move on and be happy,it sounds like your husband could use some counseling,and he is talking to the ol neighbors about you and his problems,I think itās time to move on,and your already have another homeā¦go and be Happy!!
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Wow. Why couldnāt you say āhey honey we need to evacuate. An order is coming. Help me pack.ā Thatās love. Just packing without communicating is just provoking a reaction. I definitely see why heās reacted the way he has.
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Itās not about you packing up and getting to safety. Itās about him not having a choice or being communicated with to make that decision. Heās not a child heās your husband and partner. Heās feeling abandoned by you in the relationship and by the space you have placed between you either intentionally or not. Make your choice, be 
into it and stick with it otherwise your messing each other around.
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Hmmmmā¦I think like others said above thereās more to this storyā¦Iād be pissed too if my husband just up & left with our kids & pets without talking to me about it. So your the A hole.
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Iām CONFUSED! Iāve evacuated for LOTS of hurricanes. You are given DAYS to GTFO. Itās not a tornado where you grab your ass and pray.
This story doesnāt remotely add up.
Nope. You gave him another chance and, unfortunately, it bit you on the @$$ā¦ time to finish the divorce proceedings. Donāt forget your alimony & child support. You deserve better.
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If I woke up to my SO packing, Iād ask what in the world was going on first instead of freaking out an starting an argument. Tho it does sound sort of like more to the story, like perhaps something earlier to make him think you would be leaving him? But since he started a fight an refused to evacuate with yāall, an then telling the neighbors different sh:t to make you look bad, heās a d;CK an youāre better off. But thatās just my opinion on the info Iāve read lol. Divorce an be happy.
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Wow, I am actually shocked by all the responses that are coming on this post. I would have thought that more women would have seen wifeās side. The thought never crossed my mind that I would have to explain to anyone that lived in the path of this storm, as to why I was packing and leaving. Also, as to why I was taking all children and pets. Really people, if she had to explain to husband why she was leaving, he needs much more than just a therapists! Wow just wow!!!
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When someone shows who they really are, believe them. He showed you and you let him come back anyway. You might want to think about why you did that after he had treated you badly. You need to listen to your therapist. You will be fine on your own. Donāt continue to be a doormat.
Ew leave his sorry ass
Someone is coo coo for cocoa puffs. š¤¦ He needs some serious help. Iām sure he watched the news before the storm was coming and knew yāall would more than likely have to evacuate. Why act so childish? You need to move on without him!! Donāt let him come back.
Have yall not gone to couples counseling?
If you put the work in therapy and didnāt listen, how are you confused? Thereās a reason they said No.
I can understand how he felt, in the moment. However, is he 12?
The best thing you can do is one of a few things (or all. Lol)
- Carefully craft a response to her. Like, write it out on paper over a few days. Get it out. Then, type it, hit Send and BLOCK. I always feel better if I get it off my chest.
- Ask him to go to therapy too. Even of you live apart, therapy together may help you too, at least, co-parent. He feels betrayed and you canāt change that. He needs therapy too.
- File for divorce and be done.
Depending on state laws, if he claims abandonment, things could get wonky in court. Ensure you have a lawyer and research all divorce laws for the states involved.
You tried. You canāt make him work through this WITH you. This seems to be something he isnāt interested in getting over.
Personally, Iād be done. Nothing ruins my peace. Anyone trying is immediately gone from mine & mine kids life.
Marriage isnāt a light issue. 14yrs married myself. That said, sometimes we simply can not fix it when itās beyond broken. You tried. Aa long as you feel like youāve done your best, itās ok to put yourself first.
Therapists try not to tell you what to do- but make you aware of things so you have better insight when you make a decision. For a therapist to recommend you not go back to your husband should be something you should really think about.