Hi mamas, I need some advice or insight if anyone else has been through this… this morning I was setting my husbands alarms like I always do for work because i leave before him, well I noticed he had an email and it showed a picture of a naked girl so I clicked on it and it brought me to this website and he was already logged in to, the user name was “big…his name” he had on their he is interested in swapping nudes, cam and other things He also has that he is a “ widow“ there’s so many messages so I’m assuming it’s been going on for a really long time. I have no clue what to do… any words or advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/what-should-i-do-about-what-i-found-on-my-husbands-phone/20120
Confront him, he is cheating
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He’s cheating, so either you stay and most likely he won’t stop he’ll get sneakier cause obviously this has been going on awhile and he’ll have no intention to stop or you leave. 
He’s telling people you are dead…
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Coming from someone who’s divorced due to abuse, the fact he’d use widow is alarming.
Why not be single or divorced? Why’d he kill you off?? Idk. If he’s abusive on top of finding this, it’s definitely time to run. I wouldn’t even confront. I’d just go…
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I would just be honest and tell him you stumbled soon it when setting the alarm. Ask him to explain himself. In my personal experience though, it won’t change. They get caught, cry and beg for forgiveness, and end up just doing it again. I’m so sorry…
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ask him … he has to live with his answers to you
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Bye…. Porn is one thing acting on urges and talking like that another.
You can’t make him a widow but you can make him a divorced
He’s cheating! Kick his ass out. What a piece of shit
Throw the phone at his face after you take the evidence decent enough alarm I’d say:rofl:
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I would screen shot it and send it to him during his day at work. And say hey “big —-“ we shall be talking about this later
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I would give him my condolences. When he asks why, “cuz your wife is dead.” Then throw his stuff to the curb.
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He is literally telling other women that you’re dead and I worry for your safety.
Leave now. I wouldn’t even confront him until you’re out of the house.
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Yikes finding girls to cheat with by making them feel bad that he is a “widow.” Stand up guy.
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Get rid of him now, that is cheating and you deserve so much better!!
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Make a fake account and message him. When he asks for a picture, I would definitely send him one that he would never forget.
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You caught him telling people you were dead. The only logical thing you can do is start thinking about how the separation and divorce are going to happen the easiest way for your kid or kids.
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Screenshot everything involving him and send it to yourself. Save it. And leave. He’s telling women you are dead. That’s not okay. After Chris Watts killed his whole family because his mistress didn’t “want kids” I wouldn’t trust SHIT.
The fact that he killed you off is a big red flag and has me worried for your safety. I would call a family or friend and make arrangements to stay there. I would join that site, screenshot EVERYTHING, have him send you nudes, and then when he asks for photos back I’d send him a photo of divorce papers.
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Take screenshots and send them to yourself, and then decide whether or not this is something you can live with. He will never stop. So you can choose to leave or forget about it and be complacent.
I’d personally leave ASAP.
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I’d “leave”
Call into work saying u had a family emergency come up.
Go to a store or something until u know for sure he’s gone for work
Go back home and depending on whose house the name is in either pack ur shit or his and leave or leave his shit on the front porch.
Change the locks before he can get back and leave a nice little note on the door from his “dead wife” saying he’s now a divorced widow 
Leave. Plain and simple.
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Time to talk to him about it…
If your relationship is a good one, let him know just how much this bothers you…
The Ball will be in his court…
Since you set his alarm, how you didn’t see none of that before?
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Just leave him. He will never stop.
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Can you access his work Email from his phone? I’d screen shot all the goodies and send it to every.single.person. 
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He’s cheating. Leave him.
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Are there kids involved? Either way, I’d pack whatever necessities are needed and leave while he’s at work. Definitely collect the evidence before you go. Meet with an attorney immediately. Maybe I’m naive but the widow thing isn’t alarming to me as if you should be fearful he will do something (unless he’s abusive- which is the only missing context) but to me it seems as if he’s using that to his advantage to get these women to feel sorry for him. Manipulative and deceitful to say the least. I wouldn’t even confront him until you’re secure elsewhere because like others have said, he will either A ) find a way to blame you and manipulate you into staying or B ) beg for forgiveness and just learn to hide better but highly doubtful he will just stop.
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Get your evidence on paper printed out before you lash out.
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Send him a sympathy card for the death of his wife. Pack his bags and change the locks.
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Start saving your money. Put it in a separate account or a safe hiding place. Start getting your ducks in a row to leave. I wouldn’t give him any indication that you know what he’s been up to, but I would try to capture evidence of it. That way when you do finally confront him, he can’t try to lie about it.
Or, you could gaslight him a little. Start dressing sexier and try new hairstyles and makeup for work, or when you go out shopping or whatever. Get a gym membership, find reasons to leave the house, and show no interest when he wants to get intimate. He’ll start to think you’re the one cheating. Let him believe it. It’s amazing how territorial the cheater becomes, when they think the one they’re cheating on, is cheating on them.
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Scott Peterson disclosed to his mistress that he was a widow …before he was a widow…
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I would confront him and leave
Most of the men that killed their wives told their mistress they were a widow before they actually became one…
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I would send yourself the proof and leave.
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Leave, he done lost your trust. He’s looking online for things outside of your marriage
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I would make sure you get all the evidence you need before you confront him about the situation and then make sure you have a stable place to go because you definitely should leave/divorce that “man”. He can be a great father, if you have kids, from afar but that crosses a line that shouldn’t be crossed. I’m worried that he states he’s a widow while he lays next to you 
idk how someone can even do that for any amount of time.
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It is the “widow” that would be a red 
if I didn’t want to listen to other 10
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Scott Peterson was telling his mistress he was widowed before he killed her. Big red flags !!! Run, run fast !!!
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Set up a fake account and message him , when he answers confront him
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Lol make yourself a widow. Jk but seriously, There is zero tolerance for that crap in a marriage. Ask him to tell the truth about it. Either way, he’s doing it behind your back and there should be zero forgiveness, just pack your shit and leave.
I took screen shots of all the messages from my phone so I had proof. Couples days later he erased messages. I also changed his password so I could get in from my phone. I kept my mouth shut , I opened a bank account and started getting my ducks in a row I watched for a couple weeks and then confronted him … kicked him out and divorced him we were married 8 years… apparently this had been going on for at least 6 months
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Take pictures of everything and build your proof for divorce for infidelity.
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No respect. Leave his sorry ass
make him a widow he is a ass
Someone very close to me year ago found very similar things on her husbands phone. She tried to fix it make it work for the past year. However, a year later she is meeting with divorce attorney’s. He broke her heart so badly there was no repairing. You will be done when your done though. Watching this first hand the last year and what my person has gonne through is heartbreaking no desrves to be treated like that especially by the person you should always be able to count on. Good luck in whatever you choose to do 
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Turn that alarm right back off and dip…
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Congratulations on being single 
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Red flags all over! Get out before he is a widower! Keep all the evidence on your phone!
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I’d save all of it. Have proof. Will make your divorce much more simple. To hell with him but please leave before it turns to late. I don’t get how any human could say another human is deceased when their not. My uncle done it to my mother for inheritance purpose. People are garbage.
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He’s cheating. Get proof, then file for divorce.
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post a miracle he is a ass blast his news feed with your alive
Gather up your evidence, get out of there and divorce. Sorry that’s way too far for me!
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Don’t set his clock for him anymore.
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This reminds me of Scott Peterson killing his wife Lacey. Don’t wait
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Leave!!! Do not waste anymore time on him!! My husband did very similar for many years. It’s srsly SICK!!! He’s not changing and he’s not worth it. There’s better and loyal out there. Plz save yourself the heartache and nut job rollercoasters 
…!
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Get out while you have time. Don’t stay long enough to make him a widow. He might try to get rid of you if you stay.
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Remember I’m a widow get the proof take pics take it to court and file for divorce gotta have that proof though and get your shit an go
Saying he is a widow!!?? Leave his ass.
I didnt know M. Knight Shymalan was doing a sequel to Sixth Sense, if you are already dead and you just dont know it what does it matter who “Big” is seeing?
Put it onto your phone so you have proof,then leave .Text him when you leave with a pic of dirt as thats what he is.Good luck.
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Save all of it then smack the shit outta him
Ha jk I’m not for violence but in a haste of anger I probably would’ve slapped him awake
Save it, see financially what your divorce options are, bury yourself in work until you have a game plan for how to proceed with getting the hell out. He wants to act single, boom mf got your wish. Dumb ass.
I’m sorry you’re going through this
Personally, I’d have a little fun with it while I formulated my plan of escape. 1. The man you knew and loved is dead. Meaning the relationship will never go back to how it was prior to you finding the infidelity. 2. Confronting them usually leads to more questions than you’ll ever get answers for. They usually get defensive. 3. You need to buy time for yourself to formulate a strong plan to exit.
Game-I’d search his likes dislikes on the site. Create yourself a generic page with your photo (nothing new/revealing) just standard pic. Like his profile with your picture etc. Essentially, let him find out that you know. This way he doesn’t know what you know and he’s gotta worry then. Take your power back. Good luck. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. 
warm hugs as you embark on a new normal.
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I am so sorry. You need to go to the gynecologist this week to be checked for sexually transmitted diseases. He is scum. Saying he is a widow is pathetic.
Leave! They never change
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Save up money transfer money into an account that’s just urs. Make a plan and kick him out or u leave whichever u feel more comfortable with!
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First, use your phone to record it and take proof. Then, confront him.
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1st how do you”notice and email with nudes while setting an alarm “
2nd just leave the dirty bastard
Sign up for an account & send him nudes!! He’ll get what he’s asking for…in more ways than one. 
Good luck to you.
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Use your phone to take pictures of all this mess and get a lawyer
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Get all the emails and texts etc and print them then post them at his job and divorce him. Or save them and send them in a mass email to his coworkers and boss and to him of course and show up at his job with your marriage license as proof you’re married and NOT DEAD (especially if coworkers haven’t met you) then file for divorce and spousal support.
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I’d leave his ass! He has no respect for you or the commitment he made for you when you got married!
The fact that he posted that he is a “Widow” raises serious concern. Run now before he makes himself a widow!
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Sent everything to your phone and be a adult and confront him
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His part of the relationship ended a long time ago. Your part started ending today. It takes a while for our heart to catch up with our brain. This is the worst hurt I have ever felt. But you have to get out and give yourself a chance to heal. Staying with him will only prolong the inevitable. I’m so sorry you have to go through this.
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Time to move on with your life. He has betrayed your trust. He will not change…
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Create your own account- arrange a hookup. The end
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Take and send everything to him and all his co-workers and his boss. What a creep. File for divorce and support
Confront him call his a** out and take a picture of it for later make him accountable. He has no integrity period. My husband did this for years and eventually had an affair. They will lie and make up OUTRAGEOUS THINGS just for attention/validation. Its not A you problem its a HIM PROBLEM
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He’s done with the relationship. Create your plan and exit. If you confront him, he’ll lie and likely find reason to either blame blame or pity into it. A person doesn’t start shopping for another if he/she isn’t done with the current relationship.
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If it were me, I’d hand him the phone with it right up on the screen and say ‘thanks for the memories- bye’.
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Screenshot the messages, send them to yourself. Delete said messages…. Later you confront him. If he acts Naive send him the screenshots. Let the conversation go from there. He feels like he’s missing something in your relationship. That’s on you two whether or not you want to/can repair it. Marriage is hard, divorce is hard. Pick your hard.
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Walk out go to an attorney’s office, show them your find and file for divorce. He’s not loyal!
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No create an account. But dont let him know its you start getting your things ready for move. Get your important things in a box put in your truck car. Monies.
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He is on his way out be ready.
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I wouldn’t bother playing games or seeking revenge. Just get proof by screenshots then also make a copy for email so he cannot delete from your phone. Don’t forewarn him, he will have time to make up lies and excuses. Seek advice from a divorce lawyer, kick him out or leave. Trust me he will never change. Hugs to you x
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Yuk. Yuk yuk. Men are such gronks
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I would tell him to gtfo or leave
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He wants to pass himself off as a single man? Make him one. Put your ducks in a row. Get money and household stuff together. Pack your things. Get a way to haul things. Then when he’s not there, disappear. The only forwarding address you leave, the only phone number, is for your attorney. Block him on your cellphone in all ways he could possibly contact you. Don’t be hurt anymore. Get angry. He’s scum.
Wtf? How disrespectful. He should be told about his lying self and you should move on. That goes beyond cheating that’s just flat out disrespectful and once you get to that, it’s done
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Screenshot and send it to yourself…he’s trash and he’s looking. U will ultimately decide what to do no matter what the strangers on here tell you to do
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I would thouroughly enjoy responding to the messages!!! Before you confront him, f*** some shit up for him. Let them know, he’s neither “big” or a “widow”. 
But especially not big!!! Lol!!
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Shuv his phone where only a surgeon can retrieve it!
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Screenshot it, send it to yourself and set it as his background on his phone. Then leave.
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A widow wow that’s a whole new kinda low
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Message him on the app 
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I know what that emotional hurt and pain feels like. I couldn’t recover from that. He basically said you were dead, claiming tobe a widower so he can 
to others. What lack of respect for you as a wife and your marriage.
And don’t fall for the " I didn’t think about it, I just clicked on it" bullshit line or but I’m in love with you, I love you your the one thats here.
My thoughts with that response yeah Im here physically but your checked out, often left waiting and wanting more then you get in return because he’s off in another room on his phone. If you truly are his priority he would show up…
Take pictures on ur phone send it to him be like I sent u something tell him u got some explaining to do buddy. Cut him off for a while silent treatment drives ‘em crazy to
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You should get his things and throw them on the lawn. Girl let him go. Smdh.
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Ask him. What he says determines your next move tho I think you already know what that needs to be
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