Live your life for you. Start giving him a bill for your services and tell him it is in exchange for him paying for everything. Childcare is expensive.
While you may cook and clean don’t make his plate or do his laundry. Don’t wait for him before you clean up or eat yourself. Let him do his thing and you do yours. If he doesn’t come around you all might have ran your course and a new chapter can begin.
Sounds like you’re already a single mother… Might as well make it official!! Get a job, take care of you and your child. He is a boy not a man and if he hasn’t grown up yet he never will!
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So it sounds like you’re expecting him to give… he’s expecting you to give… you both are on this vicious cycle of expectations of blaming each other and expecting one another to make the first step in changing…. But neither one of you are willing to take the first step… initially it probably didn’t start out this way… but this is what’s been developed over the course of time because one person is always expecting the other person to jump first… The fact of the matter is this is a no-win cycle and it doesn’t work. Regardless of what you think is fair or what he should be doing if you want happiness in your life you will make the first step because it’s about your happiness for you. Example/ when he chooses to pick a fight you don’t engage in that fight you walk away or you express I am happy to talk to you when you are calm and willing to talk like an adult if you are not able to do that then I am not talking to you until you are ready to treat me with respect and talk to me the way I deserve. it’s taking the fight out of the fight and taking the power struggle out of the power struggle whether you think it is fair or not whether he feels he’s entitled or not you both are in a no-win roller coaster and neither one of you are willing to jump off. You’re busy waiting for him to jump off he’s busy waiting for you to jump off so what’s more important you being right and him jumping off first or stopping the fight regaining control and having hopes that your marriage will get better. If you want things to change you have to be the change you expect… this isn’t about blame and this isn’t about someone being right over the other. You both made a commitment to each other for better or worse. How much effort have you put in how much effort has he put in have either one of you exhausted all resources and options into helping your marriage get better? Or are both of you just doing a lot of bitching and complaining expecting the other person to change? As long as you are in a marriage expecting the other person to do the changing and this goes for any marriage and the mindset is you will change after they change you are always destined for failure
Why, did you marry him If you knew what type of man he would be? Now you have a daughter together and you have to love her and explain to her when she gets older. That’s your father! You can ask your family to step in and help or your mother to watch her? [ I had to do that with my older sister her boyfriend didn’t want to grow up and watch their 2 kids. Both in Jr. High School years ago and I went out to help them and drive them everywhere. My sister was in the Air Force and had to leave the U.S. so I was the only one who stepped in to help her out. It was a bonding moment with me, meeting my niece & my nephew. When I needed him to help out he ignored me? And I called my mom and she helped me out that was a big car issue. But I yelled at him for being a lazy S.O.B. and don’t you come at me I’m doing your job! ] But my mom said I was there for the kids only! So, Yeah since you can’t retrain him to be a responsible parent, you can reach out to his mother aka grandma or your In-laws ask for help to watch her. So you can get some alone time with him? If that is what you need and explain to him that those fake women on his phone don’t pay the bills but will get expensive? Now for you, Mrs. go and buy a personal vibrator to help your state of mind, body, etc. after you put her to bed. Get into erotic books and say to your husband that your body is on STRIKE! Until you can act like a man, be someone I can depend on? You might have to walk him step by step on how things run. I hope this helps you, If not those books will.
No extiendas más tu sufrimiento eso ya terminó y más aún mi a su hijo lo determina por favor sal corriendo aun que duele mucho pero eso pasa
Get out . It will be best for all of you
He is not going to change
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Face reality- your relationship is over… leave now and start a happy life elsewhere
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I believe you will be better off without him.
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Child support move on you deserve so much better
I see everybody here is giving you advice to get a job you have a job for f*** sake you have a job a really hard job why can’t anybody see that
Marriage counseling is the best advice I can give you here.
Get a job, like in a Bank, dress up, you will get his attention. If you can not stand him, DIVORCE!!!
I get why everyone is saying leave him but not everyone can just up and leave, she’s explained she doesn’t have anyone to help her or her own money.
If you want to try to make it work, try marriage counseling but he needs to see someone on his own too because it seems theres more issues he needs to work through with a therapist. Not only is he neglecting you as his wife but he is neglecting his child by not acting like a father. You need to tell him he has one more chance to be a good dad and a better husband. If he refuses counseling then start thinking about what you’re going to do for your baby’s sake.
It will definitely be hard but if he cares about you and the baby then hopefully telling him you’re thinking about leaving him will be enough to get his head out of his ass.
If he doesn’t want to listen and you have no other options, there are places that help single mothers figure out where to go, help you get a job and find affordable babysitting.
I hope things work out for you and he takes your feelings seriously. Good luck
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Give him his walker paper. It take two to hold a family not one .
Leave!! He don’t want you, stop being a door mat
They call it child support
Get a job you’ll like and make him babysit.
Of course it can be fixed…but that starts with you.
Actually educate yourself on men…how they communicate, what they need.
Men don’t respond to “talking” about things…that’s how women handle problems.
I suspect when you do try talking about it…you focus on what he’s doing wrong…and make it about him.
Men will simply become resentful and pull back.
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I don’t like seeing this on my face.book
Seems like this guy have checked out on this relationship for a while now. The best thing you can do is find a job and get out of this relationship and try to be happy. Do it sooner rather than later, because I kid you not, the moment this guy finds someone, he is out the door, and you’re gonna be left wondering what happened
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DHS will help with daycare, He will have to pay child support and possibly a living allowance for you too. It won’t be easy but it will be better. Think of it this way: right now you are miserable, sitting around hoping he changes will have you sitting around 6 more months from now miserable, a year from now miserable…
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Women’s center + divorce
Sounds like something else has his attention
If you seriously can’t see that you need to get out of that marriage, then you need some serious psychological counseling! Also a grammar class to help you form a proper sentence would be beneficial.
I feel the same I’m tired of this I’m living I’m tired of helping a man that can work he says he has a diploma an I dont he says he pays all the Bill’s his living in my dads old house with me n my two boys how sad he use that against me he sad huh
Lots of stupid comment here…grow up…that’s my advice…
Having a baby with someone can really make it hard to connect especially as a stay at home mom. I went thru the same thing My confidence was super low and I was depressed and we faught all the time I also felt like he wasn’t doing anything with our kid or paying any attention to us. U have to realize a full time job as a provider is just as hard as a stay at home mom. I would say get a part time job and split the work evenly. He’d learn to appreciate the house work u do and the labor and stress that is taking care of a baby and bond more when he’s forced to and ud have some time away from all the stress and housework. I’ve been working since my son was a little over a year (was blessed to see all his firsts but working was the best decision ever) nobody understands what it’s like to handle a house, be a cook, be a mom full time etc. It’s so hard I was losing my mind. My times came with heated arguments and it seemed I had to really snap at him even physically fight to get my point across. We were young and it was so hard. But now after being together 5 yrs we bought a house, we share chores(in our first 2 yrs he wouldn’t even touch a dish!) we both work, were in the happiest place we’ve ever been (and I’m due with a baby girl in a couple weeks!) So I’d say u need a job, or at least a hobby or some friends. And if it doesn’t work u can leave him and get a job urself, u definitely can afford childcare so that shouldn’t be an excuse. states help alot with that. My payment is only $50 month
If you don’t get him out of this rut y’all will fail. Go back to work this will force him into a 50/50 home dynamic. It just might save your marriage and child’s relationship with their father.
Get a job and save money. Apply for state assistance while your starting over and leave.
Life is too short to be with someone that’s like that.
Go walk out that door!
Start babysitting at home for the money you need and save it up,
You must not be taking care of business in the bedroom. Try bj’s in public places and more often.
Just give him his time watever he do
If you keep asking time for u he won’t do it
So dont force him just wait till he notice that he must spend time with u
Honey if you’re doing it all on your own you mind as well leave and have a shot at happiness.
you have 2 children- consult a lawyer ~
Leave him! He is selfish. You can find someone who puts you and your babys feelings first.
This sounds like me when I was 21. I was married with a kid, and I sounded exactly like your husband.
My advice, leave him. He may grow up and change one day, but you don’t deserve to be treated like that in the meantime. I have eventually grown up, and I no longer blame my wife for cheating on me. She married the guy she cheated on me with, and they went on to have four more kids and she is a million times happier than I ever could have made her.
Leave him.
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If you aren’t happy, why waste any more of your life with this loser? There are plenty of good men out there that will worship the ground you walk on and love your daughter. I stayed with my ex-husband for 4+ years longer than I should have for the sake of our family and for better or worse. I even contemplated suicide. Don’t let your life get to that point, seek help whether it’s financial or emotional. My life was so much better without him, just couldn’t see it as I was going through it, he totally killed my self esteem. I wish you and your daughter all the happiness you both deserve, STAY STRONG!
If you divorce him he will have to pay child support and the judge will set the amount so you can get child care and the judge will take that into consideration when setting the amount.
Miss lady that man checked out on you and your child mentally and physically , he basically a sperm donor and a pay check , listen get your shi*t together and leave because you can’t change no man … And stop feeling bad or like sh!t because him , you did nothing wrong but unfortunately your man is a loser and dead beat … I would leave when possible
Wow…. Why are all of the “go to” answers “leave him” or “get rid of him”?
Why not give healthier advice like join a moms group three times a week, get a part time job, take a class, start a home based business, all to open up opportunities for yourself and be more independent, so he can’t come back at you with 1950s style arguments.
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No judgement here. He clearly doesn’t WANT to be a father. Maybe the title sounds nice to him but he doesn’t want to put in the work and that’s clear from the info you provided. I guarantee you if be wanted to BE a father he’d be helping you and helping with your child. He’d understand parenting sometimes happens in shifts almost with some couple schedules.
As others have said- sounds like you’re a single mom already make it official! Give him 3 months to get his shit together. Do not back down when he said he’d rather be on his phone. Tell him to be a goddamn father and parent. If he doesn’t change then, then be never will. Your child should have already changed him and his behavior.
I don’t think watching porn is cheating personally but I totally get why it bothers you when he’s not giving you anything. Tell him that as your partner you expect to have sex at least occasionally. You’re married for god’s sake. Tell him that you WANT/NEED him to initiate sex because you feel unwanted- or whatever verbage works for you.
Sending positive energy your way 
Ask him what he needs from you to be a great husband and father to your child. If you are unwilling to at least try to give him that then I wonder why you married him? Was he marrying his “mother”? Were you marrying you “father”?
He isn’t in love with you anymore…sorry🤷 maybe try something different…like actually ASK him if he is Ok. Women like to make it all about them and their problems…there is a good chance he is suffering mentally…but no-one has even asked him. Maybe he is struggling at work? Does it get him down? Does he feel trapped in a dead end job? When he comes home is it the same crap everytime he does, fighting, arguing, nagging? If he pays no attention to the child…was he ever allowed to be a part of their life? Did he have a say in their care or were you the boss of everything?..put yourself in his shoes for a few minutes at least…
Wow u know every time these questions pop up it’s always women with the same issues why??? Stop picking the wrong men to be with and more importantly stop picking the wrong men to have KIDS with.
Mmmm not good matey he probably won’t go n see a therapist but if I were you I would gather some insight
If you are trained or has work experienced, go out and look for work. If you’re not trained or experienced, you’ll be very limited. In any case, try finding a job while still at home, even part time… and go from there… get a job, save your money, get out…
He is a narcissist you should read what the description of one is
Time to call a lawyer and child support and full visitation rights.
The word is run, divorce, bury him
The guy is a spoiled kid…dump that looser and move on…you are wasting your youth on a man who could care less. Wake up and go smell the rose’s of life!
You say you don’t want any judgement, but you’ve described a total loser who needs to be kicked to the curb. You want advice? My ADVICE is to get RID OF such a crappy jerk 
Or live with it. Because that guy is THAT GUY. He isn’t going to change. So suck it up, buttercup or do something good for yourself and your children and be rid of someone who just isn’t that into you.
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Very well said Mook:sparkling_heart:
MacKenzie Stewart
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Taylor Domine-Thornhill idk how I started following this page but start following it and watch some of the things that get posted on here 
(not this post but some of the other posts I’ve seen I’m just sitting here like 
when I read them
Want to live with old man that will treat you good ,call me…
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U got that right lady.
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Choices.
He has CHOSEN how to treat you.
You have a choice as to how you need to be treated…. To be happy.
Choose wisely. You need to be true to yourself, ma’am.
If someone loves you, your happiness is important to them.
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Hoyet Anatasia
It’s better for your child if you leave that type of situation if it WILL NOT change and it seems like it won’t. The government can help with childcare costs to help take that burden down. I could go on and on but I’m just gonna say, leave. To respond the way he is about the situations is uncalled for and excessive. The fact that he doesn’t know or want to know anything about his child, that he lives with, is the hugest red flag. Leave, sugar. You and your child deserve better
He got somebody else
For all the people saying “just talk to him” “family matters more” etc maybe perhaps you have missed the two times she has said she’s spoken to him and he argues with her and makes her feel worse and gaslights her? We need to stop making stay at home moms feel like their mental health and well being is last priority. She needs to do what’s best for her and her child (that isn’t even getting taken care of or loved by their father) instead of listening to people telling her to suck it up for the sake of family. This type of man isn’t going to change, and him working isn’t an excuse for the way she has said he acts. Not even spending time with or knowing how to take care of your own child in your free time? What kind of parent chooses their phone and porn over loving and caring for their child? As a stay at home mom myself, I would never allow someone to tell me I should allow my husband to treat me this way for the sake of family and making sure there’s no “broken homes”. I’d rather co parent than leave me and my child in a situation like this. OG poster needs to start thinking for themselves and for their child’s well being, and it will be VERY hard especially since she still loves him.
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sigh Throw him away…
All these comments are straight to the point of drop it all and give up and say bye Felicia. Now not to sound feminist but all are ypical man hating female responses . But they all completely missed the fact that she does love him and wants their family to be fixed.
From a guys perspective, usually more often then none the man has just lost touch of what he has and what that truly means to him if he were to lose it . With that said , she should show him what she wrote and make it very clear that she is all out of options. And that a split may be the next step. If a man truly loves his wife he would definitely reflect and know changes must be made . He just has to learn to see “Her” again.
If that’s not something he can admit to himself he’s not willing to do or doesn’t care then it would be pretty clear to her after the first week. But for God sakes ladies let’s try and save our families and their bonds and not be so quick to give up . We have enough broken families as it is
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Telling a guy about how you feel is like talking to a wall. They won’t acknowledge it. Don’t even try to make him notice you because he clearly is interested in other things and you can’t really force someone to love you.
Try going for marriage therapy, might work.
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Do you youngsters think marriage is a continuous honeymoon?Wake up,it isn’t.Both must put effort into it,as you do any job.You will have good & bad days,but if you really love each other you will make it work.never go to bed angry,never forget why you married to begin with.I have been widowed for 14years,would treasure 1 more day together!
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Clean the house, cook for him, give him a blow job. He will start giving you attention again.
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Look up “gaslighting”. Your decision will be difficult.
Financially, if you divorce him after being married only 5 years, you wouldn’t be able to receive alimony…child support, yes. As hard as it is to be logical at this time, do your best to stay calm. Get help for yourself for support and legal advise.
I divorced after 30 years of marriage. If you are this miserable now…You’ll feel even worse after 10, 20, or 30 years. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this.
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I come from a household where I work nearly every day to ensure that the family is provided for and my partner looks after the children and the house.
I showed little to no interest in anything and any job around the house was seen as affecting the little amount of free time I had.
That being said… I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD… it was about finding a balance… my partner went back to work and we split the time at home… this meant I had more time at home with the kids to get involved and my partner had time away to interact with other adults…
Before I felt I had to be in work as the sole earner and that any time at home was time I could have been earning to make life more comfortable for the family.
Everyone is quick to jump to ‘divorce him, fuck him over etc etc…’
I don’t doubt it has been hard for you but the stereotype that man is meant to provide leads some to working well over the normal…
I would suggest talking to him and perhaps taking a part time job to alleviate the need for him to work as much… he will be available at home more and have the alone time with the kids to build and learnt their routine
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If you like your life then stay and be unhappy. Or get a job. My mother told me when I was 16 A job is freedom never let a man take that from you. I lived that rule for 37 years. Never regret it.
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Go out and shag his best mate, that way you will get his attention
Being a single mom is completely doable. Just jump
Being a stay-at-home mom and having too much time on your hands is actually extremely damaging to your mental and physical health. Honestly I would try to pick up a part time job and at least get out of the house two to three times a week even if it’s only for a few hours at a time. I was a stay-at-home mom for almost 5 years and I just started going back to work. Mind you it is only 2 days a week for 2 hours at a time I am cleaning my mother’s work office. It feels so good just to get out of the house for those few hours even though I’m still cleaning it’s a nice reset for my brain.
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He’s a boy, not a man. He’s not man enough to be a father and that’s clear. I’d say pack your stuff and stay at a friend’s house or your parents while you find a new place. Don’t tell him where you’re going, he WILL try to track you down. This is a very mentally abusive relationship and I’ve been there to girl. Get out of there and go do things you want to do, power through it and leave that boy behind. He’s not worth trying to please if he’s not going to thank you for it or accept it, it’s not worth living everyday in misery.
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Use him for a change to get to where you need to be. And don’t say shit about it to him.
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Couples counselling is needed here
Question: if your very very best friend in life had written this…
What would you tell her?? Im guessing youd tell her she deserves so much better in a relationship…that she deserves Respect…youd probably be mortified at the emotional abuse shes going threw. Going out on a limb here but youd prolly tell her to run not just walk away but run far far from his abuse and not to look back. BE YOUR OWN VERY VERY BEST FRIEND. *I absolutely wish you all the Respect, happiness, love and laughter in Life that you so richly are entitled to. Much Love & Respect, Kate:v:t2:
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if you want to stay i suggest couples therapy
I think you should go back to work, and let him see what you really do all day . There is a lot of single Moms out there that work, you need to get in to counselling. Stop thinking you can’t do it. I raised two kids on my own and I was a working Mom .
I wonder how appreciated he feels working two jobs and his expectations around the house. Men and women are so different! Divorce is hard so don’t jump into that unless that is what you truly want. Maybe he checked out because he doesn’t feel valued. I would try a different approach than “we need to talk” that’s not working. Think about all the good things he does and praise him regularly. Tell him what you want! “I would love for you to do xyz”. Men aim to please their wife and he feels like he can’t he’s likely given up. Good luck to you.
Find a way to get a job so your not relied on for everything for starters. Get into couples counciling, book it on a day your both available but bub is at daycare. Try and heal what is going wrong and if he refuses to work on it or go to counciling than prepare to go your own way.
He may come around but you have to give him a chance to.
Alot of men dont know or struggle to express their feelings so its worth a shot to try
You are already single. Sounds like he has checked out and probably having an affair too. Build your relationship with God of the Bible. Which builds a relationship with yourself so you can have a healthy relationship with your daughter.
I say first and foremost try and sit and talk with him like adults, see if there is a way to just talk about the day and see if you can have him open up about each others feelings. Tell him he has two options, either we can work this out or you are leaving. My husband and I went through a similar thing (we are still together and worked things out but he put the work in too) what got him to notice how serious i was, was that I went to an office that talked about divorce and his job notified him about it, he’s also seen the papers, how I was writing down information (he’s told me that the notebook scared him) after that we started talking more (I had to rebuild trust too) and now I’m glad to say we are very happy. Again its about if he’s willing to put the work in to fix it. Putting your foot down is the first step to building your confidence back.
Staying with him and the way he behaves is not a good example for your daughter. He treats you both like your not worthy and she will grow up with no self respect cause the most important man in her life let her down . Put on your big girl pants and do it for your daughter show her you get more respect working and you have to these days and one day you want to have a pension. So it’s time to be a leader and leave this selfish man
Random question but have you tried asking him about how he feels? It seems like he regrets having a kid and he’s taking that out on the child and your relationship. Completely unfair but it sounds like.it
get job get yourself indendent as soon as you can he will have to pay half child care a nd alimony if he makes more than you
You don’t want to get to adulthood of your children and realize they saw this and think it’s acceptable for them to lead this kind of life. You will want them happy. You want your son to treat his wife good so he is happy - you’ll want your daughter treated fairly so she is happy). If you let your husband treat you like this - your children may or will find it acceptable to allow themselves to be treated this way because you did. If you can’t change your lifestyle as you state it. You might want to change it by leaving. This will either be a wake up call for your husband or you might find he really doesn’t care anyways. It doesn’t necessarily mean the end of your relationship but it does mean he’ll be forced to work on it to. (Or you won’t be there - or come back). In the end your find out if he cares for you or if he is just biding his time with you. Regardless teach your children that they can’t allow this kind of treatment. It’s easier said than done but you have yourself and your children to think of - not just your husband. He has responsibility to you and your children to - not just paying the bills (which is important - but the development of your children is far more important. It is important that he takes a role in that).
The Home, the child, the bills, the house maintenance, it’s both of yours not just yours. The responsablity is both of yours. Saying you don’t work means…litterly …YOU DON’T work. Everything about a home is work. Being A Stay at home Mom, doesn’t mean your a stay at home live in help. Your his wife, not his Nanny, not has secretary, not his employee. You say that your tried talking about your relationship and he is ignoring you. It’s time to say hey…this is it, we need counseling and I’m not settling for any manipulation on your behalf. It’s the last straw. Tell him, Either do or don’t but whatever you decide, it is your decision and your choice to give a dam. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed, and out of words and done waiting my time on someone who doesn’tshow me any effort or care. Worst of all I simply don’t know if I want to or care to give a dam either, but I’m doing it for pur family. I feel that we are not a priority to you and this is your chance to show that you do. Have an apt for counseling and give him that date and time and tell him to show up or not it will be his effort that matters. Weather he does or doesn’t go, you go. There is help out there for single Moms, to get financial help that helps pay for day cares if you work or go to school. Don’t worry about what anybody says about getting help to better yourself. That’s what it’s there for. If you stay you will resent him, become bitter, and nothing will suddenly on its own become any better. At this point your the best your kid has. Your also the other most important responsible adult and Mom. it’s your responsibility to put both your well beings, physicaly, mentally, emotionally etc … for you and your daughter first. Remember your defenseless and helpless child depends on you. It has now become comfortable for your husband to disrespect you, and it sounds like he has already abandoned the marriage and his family
You can’t change him. He has to want it and it doesn’t look like he does and you can’t force him to. If you stay knowing this is wrong, then your no longer making a mistake. Your making a choice to allow someone to treat you and your child as if you don’t matter and by staying your actually helping him do this to you. Instead love yourself the way you want him to love you, respect yourself and your child as you wish to be respected, and you will feel so much better and happier. You can’t expect from others, to give you what you won’t give yourself. You got this and you can do it!!!