What should I do?

I need some advice about my child’s christening/baptism? Ill keep this short, my ex an I do not get along, we have a big history of one minute being ok the next he is really mean and nasty. We decided together to baptise our youngest child in the coming months, we have been having issues and the past has resurfaced. We don’t get along at all. One if his family members will be godparent. I’m wondering how can we do this together when he hates me (he has told me on several occasions) our families don’t get along either. I guess I’m asking, should i still go a head with it and do it together? Should I cancel it? How can it be a enjoyable time when it will be filled with tension? I don’t know what to do.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do? - Mamas Uncut

Not about you guys it’s about the child. So do what you need to do and keep the peace for a few hours. I know it’s hard to be the better one but this is something special fir your child so 100% worth it …

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Tell everyone to grow up and get along for the kids

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You be an adult about it. The day isn’t about either of you.

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Just keep it small. It’s not about anyone else but the child.

It’s a baptism… in a church… if he can’t keep it together I’m sure the priest or preacher would tell him to go. It’s about your child not you guys at all so if he can’t be a dad for a few hours he needs to say so

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You tell people to shut the f up and get along for the child’s sake for one day.

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Just tell everyone who is invited that it isn’t about them, it’s about your kid. If they start ANY type of bullshit, they’ll be asked to leave.

Seems it would be best for all yall to make a clean slate while at the church and all be blessed by the preacher however this is your child’s day

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This is about your child. Anyone who can’t be an adult for an hour for your child doesn’t need to be there. That includes you and your kids father.
This seems important to you guys. Send a simple text saying “I can’t wait for this day, let’s make it beautiful for (babies name)”

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Nah, I’d cancel it and reschedule it for time for you and your family, life is too short for all the stress and hoping everyone will be the “bigger adult” it doesn’t happen and why should you remember this day filled with stress and people you don’t like. If he wants to plan his own christening with his people on his time he can do it.

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Honestly if you all can’t get along then don’t try and force yourself to do it cause it will just end badly. You may be willing to just let things go and try to do the day but will he?

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Keep it as planned. Do it with everyone together.

Those that can’t be civil with one another for a few hours, for the sake of the child, can kick rocks. Don’t be afraid to speak up either. If someone starts drama, tell them to leave. If he starts drama, tell him to leave.

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Or do seperate one him and his family can do one and you and yours do one.

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This is about the child.
I made it very clear, we don’t have to speak. But, you will not start anything. (I had family ready to toss anyone who got out of line.)
If you two can’t behave for an HR, do seperate Christenings.

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Cancel it. Let your child decide when they are older.

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It’ll be at a church I’d imagine so his people on one side, yours on the other. You don’t have to talk to anyone and they don’t have to talk to you. Everyone come and go in their own vehicle so really, the only people you have to talk to is him and the preacher. Have dinner at your house for your people.

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I’d cancel and let a child decide when much older if he/she even wants to be baptized. I get it’s just water, but some are not going to want religious-related things done or may not choose to be religious.

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My sister let her son’s pick their God parents when they were older, my nephew picked me. The other son I think was baptized at birth when he was in NICU.

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When I was with my first husband he wouldn’t let the kids be baptized because he was Baptist and they don’t baptize till they’re older. After we were divorced I had them baptized in my church. He was never around and did not go to church.

I would cancel it. No sense bring all this negativity into a baptism.

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Step back and post pone it so that a…he can be respectful and make it smaller so less family and less drama. A christening is a holy time not turmoil.

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I wouldn’t do it without anyone if he doesn’t want to come then that’s fine too. Unfortunately you can’t just purposely keep out dad because of bad blood. Your love for your baby has to be bigger than your hate.

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Call it off let the kid choose to get baptized when they’re ready.

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Why cancel it ? Your hurting your child. No time to think about you and his problems. You don’t have to hang out with his family. It’s for the child.

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*the day isn’t about you" yes it is lol, this is about the parents because it is their child who is having a ceremony. Because of they are both on edge and miserable that’s going to rub off on baby. On what is supposed to be a good day.

Honestly for me I’d cancel, for the fact that baby deserves no drama and also the whole religion thing isn’t for me.

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Young one - Godparents and Parents should always get along - in the area of the child. Maybe you should rethink this. At least this is the way of my people.:heart::v:t4:

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Pray about it. Even tell the ex how you feel. It may be that he feels the same. But, in the end. Put the child first. What is best for the child?

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Both parents need to realize it’s always about the child first, it’s clouded because you don’t get a long. Someone has to be the bigger person and (as I’m sure you do) you do what’s always best for the child. Sometimes parents can be pretty petty, especially since the ex’s don’t like each other, my ex hated his ex wife and it always caused problems with his kids, go on as planned because this is a special day for everyone involved, you may have to just grin and bare it as they say but just remember, it’s for your youngest

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Go ahead with it. In YOUR Church of choice. Invite who YOU wish. If they ask to come, nicely, let them.

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It should be child’s choise not yours.

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You can do a small blessing and baptism when the kiddo is older

I think the adults can get it together for one day to celebrate the Child.

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Get counceling on how to co-parent and try to move on in a positive way for the kids.

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I’d have a talk with him and the families. Tell him he needs to knock it off for at least the baptism and that any family that’s gonna act up isn’t invited. If noone wants to put aside the bs, then yes, you might have to postpone it or even just do it alone. Good luck❤

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Those ceremonies are usually pretty quick and as long as you focus on the ceremony and not each other it should be okay hopefully….it’s a baptism for goodness sake. Just like a wedding, plan the families to sit on different sides of the room and have a non-related person direct them to their family side. Don’t commit to a combined family gathering after, that’s where people act out. Do that separately even if you have to be the better person and do your family gathering the day or weekend after. This is about the child and not drama from the parents so conduct yourself like the lady you are and get it over with. God doesn’t like ugly so just do it properly and be done with that part :woman_shrugging:t3:

Can you make rules to get along for this time and then go your way? It’s not about the service but the teaching and service to God

You can have them at the baptism you don’t say a word remain calm and it’s over you have a celebration but you don’t invite them thats for you her and your family and if he steps out of line that’s it from that point on you let it be known all celebrations are done at separate houses you will not stand for that

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Cancel the whole thing :unamused:

Why make the child suffer because of him and his family?

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I tell my clients in situations like this clear out as many triggers as possible. So, if you and ex can’t get along about a baptism for your child don’t stress the situation at this time. It will only bring sadness and/or anger with memories. Maybe you are his trigger or maybe he is not in a good place right now. If this doesn’t have a dead line postpone it all. At some time in the near future you decide to have it ask someone unbiased to be the God Parent and make a small celebration after. If things work out invite the Dad.
Now if there are any court documents that tell you how, what and when abide by them all.

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Sit him down & tell him it’s time to be an adult. This isn’t about you two anymore, it’s about the baby. If he can’t come to terms with acting accordingly, just hold off the baptism until he’s ready to be civil for the kid. If he never acts right, then the baby just won’t be baptised.

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You grow up and put your feelings aside and do this for your child. This isn’t about you, your ex or your families. You’re talking about a baptism. Invite them all and if they can’t be mature enough for your child to be baptized then tell them not to come.

I believe you might want to talk to your clergy about this. it is apparent that you or your significant other have no idea what baptism is about. you must be a following person in whatever Church you’re in so your child grows up understanding what it’s about. you just don’t get them baptized then not go to a church teach them about the Lord. that will only mess them up later on you’re going to have them baptized be prepared to take them to church help them understand God’s words.

Can you have separate baptisms…just a thought. Do your own and let him do his own. If u go to same church explain your situation to priest. If u go to different churches even better

Your youngest? Are there older children? Were you both raised in the same faith? As parents, are you setting a good example for your children by hating on each other? Do you regularly attend your Church? Please cancel. Don’t do it, there’s too many wrongs.

Everyone needs to shut their mouth and be there for the child. If you can’t then that person needs to stay home.

Cancel. Rethink everything.

You need to remind everyone this is your child’s day not theirs. If they can’t be pleasant for one day don’t bother showing up.

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Sounds like everyone needs to grow up and put the BS aside for that baby…it’ll be mite important stuff than a baptism yall are going to have to work together on…

This is what happens when women sleep with just anybody.

This is not about you. If you wish to have your child babtized then do it. You and your husband need to forget your differences and get along for this short time for the baby’s sake. If you are worrying about the celebration after then don’t have one. This is a sacred ordinance for the baby not for the rest of you.

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Don’t have family as God parents. Find someone neutral. If he will not agree cancel everything until he grows up

Sounds like nothing but stress on everyone part. Consider canceling

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If one of his relative is a godparent than you must really get along with his family .I personally would rethink this whole thing and possibly cancel unless it’s something that you really want to do .if yes than tell him to suck it up and shut up