I’ll try to make it short. I’ve heard that when a parent dies or gets sick, childhood trauma/issues come up. My older sister has always been controlling. She wants to domineer, be in charge, challenge any one for her to be correct. I learned as an adult to get along with her through strict boundaries and distance. I was in charge of my parents care. Taking my father and mother to their doctors appointments/bloodwork/pharmacy/ dealing with insurance issues/specialties(podiatry/orthopedic/cardiologist/endocrinologist)/surgery prep pre and post/referrals, you name it. It’s three of us siblings but I took care of my parents mostly alone for almost 8 years. I scheduled all their appointments around my work schedule and my own children’s doctors appts and school activities. I asked for help from my siblings and at best they would take my father for lab work. I spoke to my sister and told her she needs to help me out a bit more before dad ends up in the hospital and she said she has better things to do than deal with a non compliant father (dad wouldn’t take all his meds). I forgot to add that my two sisters live with my parents. I’m the only one that lives further away. Well low and behold a month later my father almost died. When we went to the ER, she ran in and stayed by his side. It was during the pandemic and they only allowed one person to go in. She wanted to be by his side and I felt that he might die that night and seeing she was full of remorse, i agreed. I was at peace with my father and only hoped if he did go, it’d be quick with no suffering. Well by a miracle my father did not die and they allowed both of us in the hospital room.she told the nurse she’d take charge and for all questions to be directed to her. Well the nurse asked for his list of meds, last dr appt, last weight, insurance info and my sister knew none. I answered all the questions and my sister did not like that. She then took over all doctor appts as during that time she was not working. I was ok with that until she began with her domineering and controlling ways. When she needed information from me it was an argument. My dad felt he was in the middle and had to choose between my sister and I and I told him what is it that he wants. He said he wanted things to be how they were but understood my sisters guilt. Well pretty much I was left out of any doctor appts. My sister did not go back to work and took care of my father’s doctor issues. I told her that I had a system with my parents appts and that I schedule them on my days off. Well we had a huge argument and we both decided she’d solely take over. I went ahead and got a second job. So it’s been 2 years and I’ve been working two jobs and today my sister says I need to “step up” and help with dad’s dr appts. I’m still hurt that they pushed me out of my routine and my father allowed it. I really don’t know how to respond to her. I feel she is being a total hypocrite and feel drained thinking about helping my father as it’s almost as if I have to go through her and answer to her and allow her to make all decisions or it’s a problem and my father allows it. I’d rather stay on the sidelines where I was placed and tell her to tough it out like I did. It’s not easy standing up to her and I don’t want us fighting but I can’t always be the one to bite my tongue. Thoughts?