Ok so I’ve got my husband and two kids one is 16 and one is 12. I’m working during the week and my husband during the weekend he’s security in the bar and obviously it’s the same like he’s going out. All my family and friends are overseas and my in laws have passed away so we literally have no one here. So the thing is i feel sorry for my kids i feel like we don’t do anything and have no fun at all, i find it hard to make friends,i had two but somehow we drifted apart and my kids have few friends each. We are always home we’re not going anywhere and i feel so lonely and lost most of the time and i feel bad for them for missing out on things like having cousins and more family and friends and go out and have fun. As am coming from overseas i don’t know to go places with out my husband and he’s not the person that love to go out much, i just don’t want my kids to be affected by that and get depressed. Can anyone tell me what to do or do you think this is going to effect my kids life
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do?
Are your children interested in sports or anything going on at school?
Get out and start doing things with your kids. A movie, zoo, museums. There are lots of things to do. What did u do with your kids before you lived where u live now.
Working security at a club is not the same as going out.
You have to use GPS and find fun locations to go to with your kids.
Do you go to church? Many churches are great social outlets, for the kids as well as adults.
Most towns always need volunteers… the animal shelters, soup kitchens and even the schools.
Hos job is not the same as going out. He doesn’t get to drink on the job and smoke and dance. He has to keep people safe. Make sure the drunks dot get out of hand and hurt anyone. Also ask your kids how they feel. Are they lonely? Or so they enjoy their time the way it is. Talk to your family. If they are lonely find ways to enjoy life together. Even if u have to leave the house without your husband. But talk to your family and stop thinking your husband gets to go out on the town when he goes to work.
Church, sports, extra curricular, volunteering.
Go out by yourself with the children look up stuff to do and use gps to get to the places. You don’t need your husband to go with you guys to do fun things together.
One of the best times we ever had as a family was when my kids were involved in sports. It gives them an activity to participate in, and you have the opportunity to make friends with the other parents. It will get you all out and active.
I realize you don’t go to church just for social activities, but it can be another resource that would benefit you & the kids.
Why are people laughing ? I will never understand
Baby, you have to learn to do things with those babies and you. Bring out your inner kid. Make the most of your time with them. Don’t wast time wishing for what isn’t.
Opening door too all sorts of things… working at bar… I wouldn’t be ok with it… js… I would make him get a weekday job… so kids can participate in extra currular activities and make friends… and you can too…
Get a gym membership, enroll the kids and yourself in multiple classes and connect with other families. volunteer at the schools and build relationships! Find a sports that you and kids enjoy and attend the games. On weekend nights at least once a month, for about 2 hours , dress up go to the club and flirt with the bouncer.
Sign them up for after school activities, clubs, sports, etc. find an ex pat support group and get tips and resources. Take them to free kids events like bowling, roller skating, etc
Start taking the kids out without him. If he only works weekends, he can take time off to hang out with you all. Sign them up with after school activities aswell
Gym membership, pool for the summer, sports, hiking, family bike rides, The 16 year old might want a part time summer job.
My husband worked shifts, weekends, holidays, .I’d pack up the kids and go. Parks, bike rides, amusement parks zoo, baseball game , roller skating . What do your children like to do. Get then involved in local sports. Good way to make friends. Maybe talk to your husband about changing jobs.
My best advice is to find a church. Start going to Sunday services. You’ll meet people there and I’m sure you and your kids will make friends. There are all sorts of activities to get involved with. Your kids can join youth groups and get involved in activities they’ll enjoy. I can’t encourage you enough to give church a try.
Why anyone would laugh react this is above me. Look lovely, your the only one that can change this. Grab your kids and start making plans. Don’t have to be big could even be a bush walk, beach trip etc find your happiness. If we expect others to be the source of our happiness, we can lose it just as quick. You’ll be ok. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Get involved in Church
Get involved in a church. If you don’t have a preference make it non denominational. They have Sunday school for all ages and youth groups if the kids are teens. Solve your problem and also expose your kids to religion which will help them in their life struggles. <3
Take the kids to movies or out to eat, the zoo is great too,Don’t wait for anyone just go and have a good time
If they are into sports maybe join a sports club they are interested in and take it from there. Its a great way for the kids to make friends and also you… And most sports are played on weekends so at least you are free to take them.
The kids are 16 and 12? What have they been doing for kicks all along? They are old enough to choose their own activities. Encourage them to do so and always be supportive. At their age they usually don’t want to be that involved with their parents. I’m not sure what you mean by his working weekends is the same as ‘going out.’ work is work. It sounds like you are stuck in a rut and need to find ways to make you happy.
Sometimes we have to make our own path and own activities. Start googling things in your area and think outside the box. Go for a walk in your neighborhood. Bird watch or garden. Choose a new family hobby. Get the kids to cook with you and create a meal together. Go see a movie or drive to a new area and take in a community festival. Find a nature path or volunteer somewhere.
I don’t mean to sound harsh but you are part of the problem… If you can go to work then you can take you kids out it’s that’s simple Also they are teenagers so I’m sure they know to how to interact outside which will help you… It’d be worse if they were tiny and you had to do it alone!
I am a military brat we moved around a lot often to different counties and my dad was away for long periods leaving us alone there with no family support, there were no phones or internet but my mother always coped even when we were small and made sure we got out and about… Its not that hard you just need to do it
Security in a bar is not like going out. My son did it for a while and it is dangerous and stressful work. They are bouncers who have to control drunks and throw them out alot of the time. Their heads have to be on a swivel because there are so many crazy people out there. Now, has he thought about doing another kind of work during the week so you and your kids can spend more time together?
Reach out and try to re-establish a friendship with the ones that drifted apart.
Find a church. You will make fast friends and will have activities for the kids!
I agree with finding a church to get active in. A lot of times they have groups for women and also groups for kids. It helps you find people and form friendships it will do the same with your kids. One of the nights during the week after you get off work plan a dinner out with your hubby. Your kids are old enough (unless they have special needs and have to have constant supervision) to stay at home for a few hours while you guys have a date night. That’s the biggest reasons on why marriages fail is due to couples not making time for each other.