Can you please post anonymously for me? My five-year-old daughter is starting to ask why she doesn’t have a dad. She’s started making up stories about him, and it breaks my heart because he refuses to acknowledge her existence, let alone that she’s his. He refuses to take a paternity test, and now I have no idea how to answer my little girl. I don’t know how to have this conversation with her. Any advice would be tremendously appreciated
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I tell my daughter who keeps asking why she doesn't have a dad?
She has a dad. It just isn’t around. 
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Just be honest and say you don’t know where he is, not every person who can have a kid is ready or able to be a parent and take care of a child. Doesn’t mean the child is any less loved or less taken care of. Show her different family units and that every one is different.
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Cant you force a paternity test in Indiana and Kentucky you can through child support court
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I told my son when he asked that the man that put him in my tummy wasn’t ready to be a Dad, and so he could have double the love and double the cuddles from Mummy x
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I’m in the same situation, but my son is 7. I’ve always let him make up his stories. And when he asked why he doesn’t have a dad, I’ve explained that all families are different and that some kids have 2 mommies, 2 daddies, 1 mommy, 1 daddy, etc. He eventually stopped asking and now just tells people he fired his dad from our family. I’ve never talked down on his dad in front of him, or made him believe he’s anything worse than a good person who made bad choices. It works for us.
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Because of her age maybe not go into it as a personal situation but educate her on other family units like children’s books
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Be honest with her. I don’t agree with people who say children are too young to know the truth. I’ve always been completely honest with my kids. It’ll save her from being more hurt later on.
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Take her to see a therapist. There’s no other way to let her know that her dad wants no part in her life. Don’t lie or be silent because it will corroborate his lies in the future. So my only advice is to get her into counseling ASAP. So sorry. Be strong momma.
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Tell her the truth. He didn’t want to be a dad. My bio dad wasn’t around either at that age. Knowing the truth made me not care he wasn’t around.
I was always honest with my kids. Lying would only be harmful as they got older.
My son has known since the day his bio dad got arrested, why he wasn’t involved. And he knew why he wasn’t really involved prior to that year. It was hurtful to his feelings, but I can’t imagine how he’d have felt if I lied the entire time like some people wanted me to.
My daughter has known who her bio dad is, and why he’s not involved. It does still upset them on occasion, but way less now as they have a dad that is absolutely wonderful to them.
Tell the truth, she deserves that
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She’s 5. There does not need to be any details or any of these spiteful answers some people are saying here. Tell her not all families look the same and that’s ok. This is what your family is. Save the details for when she’s grown.
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Tell her the truth in a kid version…
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My daughter is the same age, ask the question. She is asd. So I try to tell her he’s not ready to be a dad. He has ptsd from the military so I tell her also he needs to get help cause he’s sick. It’s tough.
Be honest. My sperm donor did me the same way. My mom was always honest about him and the situation. She never spoke poorly of him. Simply saying “He’s not able to be a parent… it’s not who he is, but some day he will see you grown and think about what he missed.” I met him once when I was 16… I fully understood what she meant then, I’ve attempted to communicate with him now that I’m older but it’s no true great loss to not have had him in my life. Do I have questions, sure… will I ever get answers, no. Just be honest and open and answer her questions to the best of your ability but never let your anger or frustration leave a bitter stain on her. Never speak ill of him, he is simply himself.
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You should be able to take him to court for a paternity test. Especially if you apply for child support. The only problem with that is that that may shake up the status quo. What I mean by that is if you are content not sharing custody of your daughter and you know that her father is not a good influence for her, you run the risk of him all the sudden “caring” once he sees proof that she is actually his and trying to get some sort of visitation or custody. If the issue is that you don’t know who he is or where he lives because it was a one nightstand situation, I don’t judge sis. But in that situation all you can do is to tell her that he unfortunately was not ready to be a father to anyone. That she was a surprise, not a mistake in any way how much is a beautiful, amazing surprise from God and unfortunately even though you were ready to be a mother and be in her life, her father was just not ready at that point and you don’t know where he is right now. Let her know that one day you will move on and hopefully be able to give her a wonderful stepfather that she can love and look up to as her own father. Let her know that it is about love and who is there for you at the end of the day, not about blood relationship. I feel for you because my children’s Father is a huge let down. He was there for the first 5 years of my daughter’s life and the first 2 years of my son’s life, but we split up 2 years ago because he is so toxic and his drug use has gotten bad… unfortunately things have gotten so much worse over the years we haven’t been together and he no longer has a car, a job, even a home… he pays nothing in child support and I won’t even take him to court for it because I’ll never see a dime of it anyway… He’ll just get a job off of the books and keep it moving… so it’s best not to rely on him. My daughter asks more about him now that she’s older and I’ve just had to be honest with her in a way she can understand. She’s 7 now, so I told her that some people are sick like they have a tummy ache and they throw up and you can SEE that they are sick, but some people are sick inside their head and no one can even see it… either way they both require different kinds of doctors and until he admits he is sick and sees a doctor for help, he won’t get any better. Even if he does, he still may not get better. All we can do is encourage him to do the right thing and remind him that we love him, support him, and want him to get better so he can be there for them.
Some one I used to associate with would tell her kids that she loves them to share, when asked why they don’t have a daddy.
Honesty, but in an age-appropriate way. Try to find a way to tell her that won’t make her feel like it’s “her fault” (kids tend to think that it’s their fault when bad things happen to them).
I’d take him for a paternity test whether he wants to or not
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In my experience… a man who refuses a paternity test on a child… KNOWS the child is his , he just doesn’t want to have the proof set in stone. Take him to court. (:
And as for the child. Answer them as age appropriate as possible. I don’t have advise on how to answer that. I always believed to just let the children get their OWN perspective on their parents.
Im in the same situation. My 9 yr old daughter asks about her dad whose she has only seen like 2 times in her whole life. Theres days and nights where she is upset amd asks why. She even writes about it at school wanting to know him or spwnd time with him. He dont check in or ask to see her. I tell her he wasnt ready to b a dad and still isnt but then hits me with why does my lil brother get to see our dad(her dad has a son with another chick) its heart breaking
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I told my girls (twins) their dad’s name and that he is out there and one day he might be ready to meet you, he is just not ready now and it’s not our fault. Thats we are all we need now, we are ok without him.
He came in their lives to stay when they were just shy of their 5th birthday.
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i am a firm believer in being honest with kids. regaurdless there age they know ithe truth so if you lie about it its just going to cause more problems in the end. just tell her the truth about him but i wouldnt talk down about him. my oldest son is in the same boat really. his father doesnt want anything to do with him and moved to a new state. my fiance has been there for him since i found out i was pregnant tho and has raised him as his own. my son knows that he has 2 dads. one who made him and one who raises him. he doesnt have much of a relationship with his father but i think having my fiance in his life makes it easier. in your situation i would just tell her that she has a dad but hes not ready to be a dad. that he still loves her very much and it has nothing to do with her. just he has to take care of stuff on his own right now and when he is ready he will try to contact her. let her know that you dont know how long that will be tho. and then make sure she knows that she is loved and cared for by a lot of people. show her that she is not the only one who is missing a parent and that she means more then the world to you. let her know that you are there for her no matter what. most importantly make sure you try to keep your emotions seperate. she is going to pick up on if you dont like her dad which would impact her future “maybe” relationship with him. if he doesnt come around for years yet she is going to know how he is anyways. kids are smart. they will always find out the truth.
My son who is now 13 almost 14 has never met his biological dad. The one time he asked about him when he was younger I just told him that we were young and he was not ready to be a dad. My son never asked about him again after that, and now he has a great dad my husband came into our lives when he was 4 years old and stepped up to the plate and took him in as his own and legally adopted him in 2017 when he was 10.
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I always told my daughter the truth. When she was smaller, it was a bit more sugar coated, such as “you do have a daddy, and he loves you very much, but we don’t see him because he lives far away”. Then as she got older the truth has come more to the surface. I always made sure she understood that mommy has more than enough love for her, that all families are different, that sometimes there’s just one mommy or just one daddy for different homes. She’s 13 now and she’s pretty much understood he doesn’t want to be in her life for a few years now. She has a stepfather who wants to adopt her, and she seems just fine without him in her life. I’ve been able to speak a bit more honestly with her now, still keeping it a bit delicate, but if she asks me, I tell her. This isn’t a one time answer for your child…it takes years of discussion and understanding, and emotions
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THE SIMPLE TRUTH
Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for
GOOD LUCK 
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You need to be honest to her that some people just don’t want to be a dad and mom and that her dad doesn’t want to be a daddy but that you’re so happy and glad you’re her mommy and you love her very much.
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Honesty it best policy, just tell her she has one he’s just not around and wait til she a bit older so she can understand better
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She does have a Dad, but for reasons you’ll find to explain in a kind but truthful way, he’s not in your lives xx
My three year old has started asking about her dad. I tell her and her sister that their dad had to go away awhile and work on himself/learn how to love before he could love and care for them and mommy the way we deserve. It does not mean that they are any less loved and I always assure them I’m not going anywhere. Just make sure there’s no bitterness or hate, for their sake.
I would be as honest as possible age appropriate. Kids understand much more than we often times give then credit for or perhaps want to believe anyways.
You dont want to give her false hope, doing so could end up making you look like the “bad guy”. She needs support, honesty and love.
Does she have a grandpa, uncle, cousin or anyone else trustworthy that could be there for her?
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Tell her the truth the guy that put her in ur belly wasn’t ready to be a daddy. So he went away and let her know she is deeply loved and all families are different some kids don’t have a momma some don’t have a daddy n it’s totally ok
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I went through this with my son.
I was honest with my son; i told my son he does have a father, his father’s choices have prevented him from being involved in my son’s life; i also explained to my son it was not his fault- the responsibility is on his father’s shoulders. I have never stopped my son’s father from being involved, his father chose to remain absent. I also explained that each family is different.
I told my son that if he ever wanted to set up a meeting with his father i would help my son set it up.
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I took my child to therapy for this. It’s called the Daddy fantasy, according to the therapist. She probably feels different from her peers who have a dad. It’s important to build up her self esteem, make sure she knows it’s not her fault he’s not there and show her families come in all different versions. There is no “normal”.
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Say she’s got a daddy and he lives far far away and when she’s bigger to understand tell her the truth in a child friendly way
U don’t need him for a DNA test Any fam member of his will work. Grandparents , aunts, uncle’s etc. Have u tried contacting his parents? They may not even know ab her. U could explain that not all kids have dads or moms every family is different but that doesn’t mean u are loved any less. Try looking on Amazon for children’s books that are ab this situation
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At that age I always taught my daughter there are all different kinds of families. Some have just a mom or just a dad, or two moms or two dads, some have both a mom and dad, some have grandparents or aunts and uncles. It is important for kids to understand that all families can look different.
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First I would go after him for child support, the courts might make him take a test to prove he is indeed the father. Second tell her about him but instead of saying the full truth just say his life keeps him away from her, tell her what you can about him, and even give her a photo if you have one. Let her know when she is older and able to understand more you will explain it better. Also don’t talk about the negative things about him, keep it positive.
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Keep it simple. Say I don’t know. Remind her of all the people in her life she does have.
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Tell her that her dad wasn’t ready to be a dad yet and thats okay. Give age appropriate example. Also leaves room for him to change his mind if he wants to.
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Just don’t set her hopes up that he is away and will come back later. She may never have any relationship with him ever.
I have a one year old who’s father chose to deny her. He claimed she wasn’t his. I chose to just go on with our life and I told him he can shove a paternity test up his butt. I don’t have anything to prove to anyone. My bow one year old is always seeking male attention. She follows dads around at the park. It’s heartbreaking and I’m exhausted but all I can say when the time comes is he wasn’t ready. That it was to much and that she is loved dearly.
My mom did not raise me. My grandparents did and my children know that. My grandparents are like my parents and help me alot with my own kids. I have had to explain to my kids before that the reason my grandparents raised me was because my mom wasn’t a nice mom and wasn’t ready to be a good mom. They understood that so when my middle daughter (ahe 7) started asking why her sisters had a dad and she didn’t I told her the truth but kept it close to my story for her to understand. I told her like my mom and dad he wasn’t a good person and wasn’t ready to be a good dad and that she has a better life without knowing him so he is not mean to her. She understood that. I also told her that any time she has question she can come to me and talk about it.
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You tell her the truth
In same boat hun wit both my 12 yr old and 5 yr old. It’s not easy to explain to a 5 yr old. My son understands even tho its heartbreaking but he knows he is loved by me always. In same boat wit my baby girl idk what to say or how to explain it. I’ve just said not all families have both parents but doesnt mean u dont love them any less. Good luck to u and hope it goes well. Ur a strong, independent woman! U got this.
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When my daughter asked for her real daddy and 6 years old I explained to her that he had chosen not to be a part of our lives and I had chosen to parent her alone.
She said oh, how come you didn’t tell me that earlier? 
Tell. Her. The. Truth.
Please do not lie to her.
Yes tell her in a age appropriate way but it’s 100x better than lying or making up a story.
I was her. I was about 5 when I started asking questions…and I kind of wish that he’d have continued to refuse to see me.
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Seeing as he doesn’t even want to take a DNA, the most probable outcome is that he won’t be in her life now or later, let’s hope that chabges, but mean while I would be honest with her, kids are strong adult have a harder time coping then children that’s why we make it so difficult for ourselves, I would say “well sweetie, there are different types of families, mom, dad and children, or mom and children, or dad and children, or grandparents and children, and all of them are ok, as long as they’re being cared with love, un our family it’s just you and me, and there is nothing wrong with that, because we are enough to be a family 
”
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My daughter did this for a while when was between 8-10 her dad was in and out but I told her that her dad is out there somewhere but he has to improve himself and his issues before he can be a father to her
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Go after him for child support. They will make him take a test. Then it’s all on him
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I went through this with my oldest son. Child support forced him to see his child. He abused his child. Biggest mistake of my life, letting him around a father that didn’t want him in the first place.
Didn’t make that mistake with my daughter. Instead her dad WANTED her, but he wasn’t a person I wanted around any of my kids. So I waited until she was 13-14 allowed him to come to HER home, and she chose afterwards to keep him at a distance. As she grew up, she understands finally as to why I didn’t allow him around.
My best advice? If you have a photo of him, show it to her. Explain to her the situation but keep it brief and to the point. Don’t answer with , I’ll explain when you’re older becomes that frustrates them. Never speak bad about him, ever. If it’s his choice to be away from the baby, don’t force the relationship. Simply tell her the truth, without telling her she wasn’t wanted by him. Than in itself will cause more trauma than telling her you simply don’t know where he is.
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Go after him for child support. This will force his hand at the paternity test. This would be my first step.
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I had this same problem with my son. I told him his dad was too scared to meet him because he was a amazing kid.
No one should be forced into being a parent. You just don’t hear about moms disappearing as much cuz usually they just abort and move on.
Be honest. Lying about it is only gonna cause issues later in life.
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“All families are different. Some families have a mommy and a daddy, some have just a mommy or just a daddy. You and I are a family. We take care of each other and love each other.”
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Tell her the truth and be consistent with it every single time she asks. You do not want to start out with lying, if you know the reasons he’s not around tell her in 5 year old terms she can understand. Regardless of what the reason if he is in jail, hospital, if you can’t have him around, if he chooses to not be around all children deserve the truth so they don’t feel betrayed and lied to later in life when they find the truth out. The truth is always best
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Tell her that sometimes mommys are ready to be mommys before they meet a daddy who is ready to be a daddy and so God blesses that mommy with the baby that needs them. And that sometimes they meet the right daddy for that baby later but sometimes they don’t (this could be bio dad or a step dad that steps up) and that’s okay because mommy loves her and will always take care of her and she and mommy are strong enough to handle everything on their own. I’m 7 months pregnant with my first, it’s a little girl, and dad bailed. If he doesn’t come back around before she’s old enough to ask those questions, that’s what I plan to tell her.
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I’ve always told my child that she just doesn’t have a dad… but that’s shes extra lucky cause she has a mommy that loves her double as much and that I’m always here for her forever.
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Your kid is going to project your emotions.
Tell the truth…you dont wanna teach your child to lie
I dealt with the same thing with my children as their dad wasn’t in their lives. He was into drugs and I was honest with them, explaining that he wasn’t a bad person but was making bad choices and that they could ask Jesus to be their dad and maybe one day they could have a relationship with their dad. Many years later they have recently began talking to him on the phone as he is clean. I don’t know how it will turn out but I am trusting Jesus. Honestly Jesus came through for them and showed them what a true Father is.
I realize everyone feels and sees things different. I’m just sharing what worked for us. I wish you the best and I feel for you. You are not alone.
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Depending on age tell her the truth. My boys know why their dad isn’t involved (not the detailed bit) and when my youngest is old enough he will know too
I had this same issue with my daughter. I just told her basics about how women get pregnant and told her the man that helped make her decided he did not want to be around to see how wonderful she is and that I have enough love for her that we did not need him. Just don’t lie to her because when she gets older and realizes you lied it could hurt her even more. Also remind her of all the people that are in her life that love her. She will appreciate your honesty.
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Have a similar situation my girl is now 13 had grown out of writing stories about her dad. I never bad mouth him and last thing I said to him was one day she will want to know more… I will pass your information along to her. My daughter was very lucky and had great male role models around her. Give her time stay positive and tell her that a lot of kids don’t have dads and it doesn’t mean they are loved any less. Keep your head up Mama it’s hard but just a phase and she will realize soon enough she has you and that’s enough!
As a dad this is heartbreaking. Refuses paternity test? Nah, have the state make him too bad. At the very least you"ll have financial help and once that happens he may decide if he’s paying anyway he should be around. But either way…fuuuuuuuck him.
Be honest but answer with age appropriate questions. As she gets older you can give more info. Trust me if you lie or hide things, it’ll come back to you.
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Dont force him to be a parent. It could end up very badly for your daughter. He sounds like a real POS, but don’t lie to her about him. But I also wouldn’t tell her at her age that her sperm donor doesn’t want anything to do with her. That could cause serious issues within herself. Tell her that when you were pregnant you and him broke up and you haven’t seen him since.
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I told my now 8 year old when she was 4 that her daddy didn’t think he was ready to be a daddy to such a special girl. So mommy said she knew she was ready to be mommy and daddy to such a special little girl. And it’s ok because your perfect to be a little girl with just mommy
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Be honest with her and tell her the truth as gently as possible
Be honest but keep it simple. It is a complicated situation but let her know that she is loved and her dad is the one who is missing out on knowing her.
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Be honest to a point, don’t just sit there and bad mouth him. Give one or two factual reasons why and leave it at that for now.
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I would definitely consider taking her to counseling. However, with that said, I would also let her know that her father not being around has nothing to do with her and that it isn’t her fault. Sometimes people make choices in life that are bad choices but it is the people who are in her life every day and who actually spend time with her and take the time to show her that she is loved are the ones who matter. No family is the same and it is better to have people around that care about you than people who are not ready to be and might not ever be ready to be what you need them to. This is the best explanation I had for my kids and eventually I met my husband who treats both of them like they are his own and now my kids don’t even want anything to do with their dads. They don’t care because their lives were filled with other people who showed them their value isn’t defined by one person who could have done the right thing but didn’t. My kids are adults now and they are doing good despite not knowing their dads. I have always left the choice open that if they wanted to get to know their dads I would help them, and sometimes I will mention that again even as an adult. But they always say no… And that is just because they know the people in their lives who care for them now and have been caring for them all along are the ones that matter. Just reinforce all of the people your daughter still has in her life that do care for her so she has validation. She is probably questioning why her dad didn’t want her or what is making her so unlovable that he isn’t there and that is the fundamental issue. Reinforce her value for now and when she is older you can add more age appropriate details to your conversations.
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Be as honest as you can without making her feel like its her fault. Dont tell her he doesnt care about her but just tell her he wasnt ready or mature enough etc
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Say she’s lucky she got u
My mom didn’t tell me about my real dad till I was about. 10. At first I did wanted to be around him. I didn’t know what things had happen between them. I was still just a child. But as the years went by. And I started to know more. I understood that the person who has raised me. Been there for me the most. Faught battles. Was my mom. And she did everything to get me to were I am now. I knew at some point I didn’t need him. My mom was and continue to be both to me. If it wasn’t for her. I wouldn’t be we’re I am today. And she wouldn’t be able to meet her grandbabies.
So trust me eventually of he only wants to come around when he please. Especially his family. She’ll realize that they never cared. Or try to make up lies that you never wanted them to see her. Etc. Been there. And now I don’t care of my bio dad family comes around. Or what. The only time they want me around is if he’s back in jail. Or laying on a hospital bed. And because he was never around. I don’t have no daughter feelings for that man. I feel nothing when I’m around him or his family. I just feel like a complete stranger.
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I’m not much in advice with this one but I don’t think she’s making stories up person.
She’s probably hearing other kids “my dad this” “my dad that” so she’s got an idea of things that dads do… or I could be completely wrong!
Good luck!
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This breaks my heart, my little girl is in the same situation she’ll be six in a month and her real dad has been gone since before she turned 1 she has a step daddy! Just tell her you don’t know why he hasn’t been around but your not upset because you get to give her twice the love!
You do not have to be honest with a 5 yo. Its a complicated subject.
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File for child support. They’ll make him do a paternity test.
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So I am in a bit of the same situation, but my daughters father was never involved from the start. I actually watched the movie “Changeling”, and in the movie the Mom explained to her son why he didn’t have a Dad, and I took a cue from that and it was a bit of truth mixed in with not making the child feel unwanted. She said “the day you were born, your Dad received a package in the mail. And inside that package was something called responsibility. And while your Dad loves you very much, he knew he wasn’t ready to accept that responsibility, and he knew you would live your best life and be happiest with me, so he decided he loved you enough to let you stay with me.” And to my daughter, who was 5 at the time, with some explanation behind what some of the words meant, she understood and hasn’t really asked about him since. But definitely find what works for you, be honest but to a certain extent. Good luck! 
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Take him to court they will order a paternity test
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I told my daughter when she was around that age that some kids only have moms and some kids only dads. She has amazing male role models in her life and if she ever feels that she needs some “dad” advice she has her Grandpa, her cousins, and her uncles. Fortunately I found an awesome boyfriend who I’ve been with for a while that has taken the dad role and she loves him very much. Once in a while she’ll ask about her biological dad (she’s 9 now) but when she’s older and mature enough to make a sound decision if she wants to know who he is I’ll gladly tell her and explain what happened.
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Everyone has a Dad. Just tell her that her Dad is not around. And if she asks where he is, just say you don’t know. That should be enough for a 5 year old. At least for now.
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My daughter is 4 and has asked similar questions. The way I handle this is:
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All families are different! Just because our family doesn’t have a daddy, doesn’t mean our family isn’t cool. Some families have one mommy, two mommies, one daddy, two daddies, or sometimes families have grandparents or other people taking care of them too. I really like ____ about our family, what’s your favorite thing about our family?
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We might not have a daddy at our house, but we have a grandpa, aunt, uncle, grandma, pet, etc. isn’t that cool? Our family is one of the only ones with that stuff
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Having conversations about the dynamic before she brings it up. When I see a single mom out with her daughter, or a TV show with a mom and kids, I point out “hey! That’s a family like ours!”
Hope this helps mama, and if you need anything feel free to shoot me a message 
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Take her to him when there is family around, let them all see what he is missing,
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File for child support they will make him take a paternity test. However I would also get her some therapy or consult a counselor on what to tell her.
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File for child support. The AG will force them to take a paternity test and cough up child support if the test shows he is the father.
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I’m so sorry, I know how heart breaking this situation is. My mom told me, “you have a dad sweetheart, he’s just not ready and doesn’t know how to be a dad right now.” I think that was the simplest way she could put it for my little head to understand, and eventually I came to my own conclusions about him. Good luck, my heart goes out to you two
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Just tell her the truth bottom line some have dad’s who around and there a lot that don’t it just that way
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Jess, you are an exceptional and wonderful mother love you for that
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My 2 boys dad’s weren’t around. My oldest who os now 16 asked when he was younger, I told him the truth his dad wasn’t ready to be a dad. My middle asked the same as I have told him the same. My oldest is now 16 and HE reached out and now has a semi relationship with him at his own choice with my input on certain things. My middle sons father is still non existent but my son has been fortunate enough to have my fiance whom took on the dad role and now calls and accepts that is his dad. I was always a believer in honesty still am but in a way to make it not make your child feel unwanted or unloved. I hope you can come up with something that works for you 
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Tell her the truth, everyone has a dad, just some aren’t good ones
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Easy she is 5 tell her she has a daddy, but he chooses not to be in her life. Answer her question honestly
WHY ? Unless he is into drugs, or criminal stuff , or mental illness. You don’t know why. Other wise he is sick and maybe one day who knows.
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Its normal for a child to make up stories about people that are not present in there life. Listen to her stories and just be honest in the basics of it no need to get to involved in the retelling of how it didn’t work out. Make sure there are male role models that treat both of uou with respect and dignity so she takes social cues from that.
I had this situation and I had to tell my girl that her daddy wasn’t around cos he wasn’t a good person. I mean after abandoning us (and my daughter was planned, his choice).
He dumped us and had kids with the girl he left us for. They split up but he’s always been there for those kids but not his first born. How do you explain that to a child
Just be the best mum you can and she’ll see for herself when she’s older.
The truth …. Just let her know it’s not her fault and how much she is loved how special she is . There are parents out there that are not capable of the responsibility . Also you can make him take paternity test
My mom always told me this. He didn’t want to stay around because something was wrong with him and not me. She was always honest about any questions I had. This helped me tremendously and I was also lucky to have other father figures in my life along with my “step” dad (who is my real dad imo).
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I would be as truthful as possible. U don’t want get to grow up and feel some sorta way about you because of it. I’d be truthful from the get go
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