What should my fiance do about not being able to see his child?

what would u do if your s/o , soon to be husband; has a child but the mother doesn’t want her to have anything to do with her father? especially bc he is African american. the mother actually made it a point to tell people the said child’s father is not alive anymore. if it’s not involving money he can’t see the child not even a picture unless he pays for it.

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He needs to make sure he has all contact with her regarding the child, documented. He also needs to invest in a lawyer. No matter what he can go to court for custody and get a court appointment attorney but it would be better if he had one he picked out himself. Definitely fight for custody. One thing that the judge will need though is proof of WHY he should get more custody than her/ shared custody. Text messages, emails, facebook posts, voicemails. Try to make it to where when she contacts you she has to leave some kind of paper trail that shows all of this. But importantly remember to do everything in the best interest of the child. No child should ever see or hear their parent disrespect the other or talk bad about them. It’s manipulative and wrong. Be that positive role model and good luck.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should my fiance do about not being able to see his child?

I would take her to court it could be the only way

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Pay child support and go to court for visitation.

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The only way is to file a petition with court for a parenting plan and custody order. He can also file for a temporary order so he can start seeing her right away.

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There’s a lot more to this story than what’s written here, that’s for sure. Tell him to go to court.

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Get an attorney and file in court

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I’m confused on the African American part. If dad was AA… wouldn’t the daughter also be?

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Two sides to every story.

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He needs to go to court and file for visitation or custody and have a judge decide what to do. But one thing y’all will have to worry about is if she really truly doesn’t want her child around him then she’ll do anything and everything in her power to prevent it even to the point of false accusations (yes there’s moms and dads out there that are so petty that they’ll scoop that low sadly)

Now other thing is why doesn’t the mother want the child to see their father? Was there domestic abuse in their relationship was there drug usage was there alcohol abuse etc . You need to also figure that part out and maybe do a background check on your soon to be husband and see if there’s a real reason why the mother doesn’t want the child to see their father.

There’s always two sides to a story and you’re only seeing one side. You can get her side and his side and then there’s the truth to both but you’ll need to determine what is the truth and what is the lies.

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That would be something HE needs to step up and handle. He could’ve went to court at any point to seek visitation and to get a custody/support order in place. I’d be asking him why he hasn’t done so… could it be he is making the excuse that she doesn’t want him to see the child because he is African American instead of admitting he hasn’t stepped up and pursued his Rights? Why would she have a child with him if she had something against his race? My guess is that there’s way more to this situation than what you’re saying… and maybe even what you know.

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Take her to court and get a parenting plan, if she still goes against it, then he can take further repercussions with her and unless the money he gives her is court ordered child support dont give her any extra.

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So right now the parents are being petty she won’t let him see the kids cause he isn’t paying child support? If he’s not behind in child support he can always ask for a mediation hearing he also can call the police every time it’s his visit and she doesn’t let him have the children so that he has documentation but his child support if any would have to be current so that way the judge sees that he’s doing and making every attempt to do right by the child not mother the child so if his support is paid in one time and he spending time with the child I would just document everything because documentation is going to help so every time she doesn’t let a visit happen document it even if you don’t call the police just keep a journal with all the times that you guys tried to call and talk to the child or children all the time you try to visit with the children and then the outcome of those attempts and with your mediation hearing comes up take that journal with you and show that you’ve done all the things you should by being an active parent who provides and participates in the child’s life and the mother is the person that stopping you

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Take it to court.
That’s the only option.

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Obviously both parents should have full access and should both be fiscally responsible.

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l Get paid over $127 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18621 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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He can take her to court he has rights as a father

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There isn’t anything you can do about it. He would need to take her to court. Almost sounds like you care about it more than he does, or he would’ve done something about it by now :woman_shrugging:

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l Get paid over $127 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18621 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

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He needs to go to court. :woman_shrugging:t2: nothing he can do unless he go there.

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Does he truly want to be in this child’s life entirely? Then it would be his responsibility to file a petition with the court for a parenting and custody order. You can’t do this for him nor should you force him - he should do it on his own. I don’t know what the part of him being african american has to do with anything since the kiddo would be half? I think there’s more to the story and since he’s the father, it’s his job to either step up and do something about it - or not

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I would wonder why he can’t see the kid and try to figure out if he’s lying. That’s a red flag. Either for him or for dealing with his baby momma. Run sis you don’t want that

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File for full custody and claim parental alienation. She will either do the right thing or lose custody. But why hasn’t he actually done anything to see his child? I mean he pays support it sounds like so he understands the whole, i need to go to court for visitation. This isnt rocket science…if he wants to see his child file in court and get visitation. If mother refuses, go back to court for contempt. Eventually the court will throw her in jail or give him custody.

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Sounds like it’s none of your business and I’m sure the mom has her reasons :upside_down_face: please don’t be so in the dark just because he’s your fiance.

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Woman- sleeps with African American man and has no issue with the interracial dynamic

Baby comes out biracial and mama wants baby to have nothing to do with Daddy unless it means $$ in her pocket.
Shocked Pikachu face that rational adults have a huge problem with her behavior.
This isn’t about protecting a kid from a dangerous person: it’s straight up parental alienation and racism. Dad needs to get in touch with a lawyer and his state’s Fathers’ Rights advocacy group.

You need to stay out of it, he needs to go to court. I feel like there is probably more to this story…

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There’s more to it than him being African American. If he wants to see his child he needs to go to court. But there has got to be more to the story. And YOU personally can’t do anything about it.

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Hmmmm, something sounds off. Does he pay child support?

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Take it to court! As long as he isn’t abusive or neglectful, there isn’t a court in this country that will deny a father who wants to be involved the right to be involved. At the bare minimum, he will be grated set visitation and if the biological mother doesn’t adhere to court ordered visitation, he can file contempt charges on her.

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Court, get an attorney and take her to court

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You really need to be told to get an attorney?

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He should take her to court for shared parenting time. Look up the laws in your state. Parental alienation is illegal in some states.

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Unless hes a danger to his child he should have access and visitation. Time to go to court and get things sorted out legally

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I won’t let my child father see our child. For a year I attempted to get him involved. Then when she was 6 years old the state finally found him and requested he pay child support. Suddenly he wanted to be in her life. Never met her and suddenly Believed she would come live with him and he would make the parenting decisions. I’m sorry but just because there’s DNA it does not make someone a parent. My other 3 children see their father. Fathers should have rights. Kids have rights too and a child’s right is the only one that has my attention.

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Get a court order to see the child

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I think you should be getting good legal advice.

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One depends on the state you are in, but also we’re they married, if so they should have a schedule in the divorce decree, if not, then he will need to go to court to establish visitation.

I am curious, if she is telling people the baby daddy is deceased, is she trying to get social security benefits? Maybe some fraud going on.

I definitely agree there is probably more to the story, but I don’t know. Good Luck!

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That’s so sad. Some people are awful! definitely tell him to take her to court! She’s literally poisoning her daughter with lies about her dad!! It’s so upsetting. I’m sorry for him and his daughter. They don’t deserve that.

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go to court. DUH. she can’t just keep his kid away from him.

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Take her to court for shared custody. You’d be surprised how much the law will stand up for a good father.

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Only thing to do is go to court if HE wants to

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If he is paying child support, he needs to see a lawyer. Sometimes a letter to the mother from a lawyer will solve the problem. Been there/done that!!

If he’s paying child support he can file a parental time motion, forgot exact name, and they’ll ask her to show why she’s not sticking to the agreed plan. I don’t think hrs actually paying child support though, just randomly sending money at times. If I’m right, why is that? He needs to go to court and get custody and child support established. If he’s been giving her money he can show proof as well.

Get a lawyer he has rights too

He needs an attorney…and you need to let him handle it and her.

Gonna have to take her to court and fight his rights as a father!!! She will make it hard but if he loves his child and wants to be a part of them he’s going to have to fight and it will get costly. Some women just don’t need to be mothers!!! That is shitty if her to be that way!! The system is fucked and moms get way to much pull!! I have mama drama with my husbands ex wife and it is a hard road. Someone who mentally emotionally psychologically and physically abused her children and she’s gotten off Scott free!! Not enough consequences for these pos of moms that do this!! Good luck and fight hard!!

If she’s telling people he’s dead, there more to the story. You only have one side. His. She could be manipulative, but he could have been abusive / on drugs / whatever

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Court is your only option

He can take her to court but as far as you go you can’t do anything

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He needs to talk to a family law attorney. Most will do a consultation for free and he can weigh his options. But there isn’t enough information in this post to give definitive answers. For instance, has a paternity test ever been done to establish that he is the actual father of the child? She has established that she is a liar by claiming to others that the father of the baby is no longer alive. Paying her in order to get a picture of the child or to see the child sounds like there is no formal order in place? He needs to get an order in place that lays out when he is allowed time with the child. Again, this only happens after paternity has been established.

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HIS CHILDS Mother Can’t Do That. She’ll end up in trouble with the court and he may end up with custody. She is not above the law and the law states a father has just as much right to be in the child’s life as the mother. I believe she knows this also. She most likely thinks He is ignorant to the law. So she’s in for a rude awaking when he goes down to the courthouse and files for his visitation rights. Do It Now.

I think seeing a lawyer is called for here. You’ll have to go to court to get visitation set up and a definite schedule so she can’t squirm out of it. Maybe even joint custody if you live in the same school district. Is his name on the girl’s birth certificate? Is he paying child support, which will establish that she has accepted his money for the child. It’s a nasty situation. Let your lawyer handle all communication. Don’t let her have your phone numbers at this point. If she hassles you, either let her calls go through to voicemail or block her until after you go to court.

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Take. Her. To. Court. :clap::clap::clap:

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“Especially bc he is African american”…that makes no sense. She was with him and had a child. There’s way more to this story. If he wants to see his child then he needs to go to court.

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You can be supportive of him, pick up the documents from family court that he will need to file and make it as easy as possible. Other than that there isnt much you can do. But he needs to get paperwork done and filed and a case on the docket.

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Should have gone to court the second she withheld visitations. Document everything, and if there’s proof she’s keeping the kid away from their father bc he’s black, that’s a whole other situation.
Get a lawyer and have her served. If yall are financially stable and independent and can properly care for the child, apply for full custody

Exercise his rights as the father and take her ass to court

Go to court get his visitation done with the law then she has no choice but to let him see his child.

He needs to take her to court. What makes the difference what color it is if he is the father. Maybe he isn’t. Maybe check that out first.

Sounds like the court system needs to be involved.

There’s GOT to be more to the story !

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Get a lawyer, a paternity test, take to court for visitation.

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You have to ask???LAWYER UP!

Court is the only way. And you don’t add to the drama, support him, don’t talk about her online or to friends. It won’t be easy. He’s going to be stressed out, just remember it’s not you, it’s the situation

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He needs to take her to court to get parental rights.

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So with absolutely all due respect it sounds like you’re new to the story. Just remember there are both sides. Especially since you say she contacts him for money it does appear to be that she’s being manipulative and alienating him. I do see others mentioning things I’m going to say but regardless there could have been a history of domestic violence sexual abuse trucker alcohol problems that he is hiding from you. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen a new partner demonize the “crazy ex” who won’t let them see their kid only to find out that they passed out on drugs in front of their kid or left a kid home alone or hit her in front of the kid etc. So to you personally it’s not a good sign it’s definitely some baby mama drama but if you love him and you’re in it for the Long haul definitely try to take a step back and look at the situation unbiased as possible. If in fact she is using her child as a tool, really like a weapon to gaslight and manipulate and extort then you guys will have to petition to court for visitation. With visitation will come a set amount of child support and so he can see her regularly and then he’ll have to pay regularly. During court I’m sure she’ll plead her case as to why she is withholding the child and he will have to prove that he has a stable environment and is a safe person. To be honest I find that courts are overly lenient with giving fathers whatever they want at this point. So unless he has a real red flag, if he goes to court he will be awarded visitation. The number one thing to do as the girlfriend is to support your boyfriend and be a very respectful of the mother. Even if she’s a crazy B word, don’t am up your boyfriend into hating her more or villainizing her because the more contentious things are the harder it will be on the kid. The same thing goes for the child don’t talk crap about the mom or discuss the situation while she is around. If he gets visitation I think it would be extremely important for him to have the first few visits without you there. And then after a little while you can meet her but should definitely not take on a motherly role because it seems like she has an active mother. If you respect boundaries and are nothing but nice and loving to the kid hopefully once tensions die down everyone can have a good relationship. And if you have kids with him moving forward you will have a sibling for your child

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It seems like there’s a lot more to this story than what’s being said. If something seems off then it probably is and some situations just need to leave alone. :woman_shrugging:

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This story sounds strange

He should be paying child support and get his weekends for his visits. Take her to court but be prepared for him to be paying some kind of child support.

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Court which means child support will have to be paid

He needs to be the one to handle this. There has to be motto the story, because him being African American as a reason doesn’t make sense. Wasn’t he African when she slept with him? Isn’t the child half African American? Sounds like there might be more to the story. If he hasn’t been a danger to the child then HE needs to be the one to take it further.

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Lawyer up and go to Court. He needs to take this woman to court, save all documents of anything cruel she sends, proof she’s not allowing him to see his child. Proof he’s trying to, and she’s not letting him. He will end up paying child support, he created a child, so half the expenses is his responsibility. But he can fight for visitation too. Set days, holidays etc, where he gets to have his daughter.

visitation and child support are two different courts

one is family, probate for visits and DOR for child support

Is he the legal father? If no he needs to establish paternity & rights first. He doesn’t need a lawyer. Courts give visitation to all fathers. If he already has an order he needs to take her to court for contempt.

Tell him grow up and go to court if he has nothing to hide. Usually men are just being lazy and didn’t do much before they met you. Then you come along and he says he has no idea why when I’m reality a grown man would have gone to court himself and set up child support with our being asked.

I get the feeling he is lying to you and your being the savior when his baby momma is sick of him only being a dad when a new chick comes along.

If you have to HELP him go to court for his own child then I promise he wasn’t that worried about it before you and that’s why his baby momma hates him

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Take her to court ASAP and file for 50/50 custody

He needs to take her to court. I also highly recommend family therapy, since this is a toxic situation for the child.

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Bite the bullet and take her to court. If he doesn’t she will forever make excuses to alienate him and it will get worse with time regardless of how much money he contributes yo raising the child. My husband has diligently obliged to his daughters mother’s demands and for 12 years she has made every excuse possible as to why he can’t be involved while she’s hoped all over the states and other countries. The child suffers most when women are spiteful like this and the father doesn’t step up. He has rights, he needs to enforce them now and understand that she’ll get ugly about it.

Family Court. Or wait until the child is 18 and then see the child…where as the Mother can no longer control the situation…

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That poor kid. She cares more about $ than her child :sob: as long as the father isn’t dangerous than she is being completely selfish and imo isn’t ready to be a mom in the first place! Until she’s able to put her wants and feelings aside to do what’s best for her child than she’s just not truly ready to be a parent. There’s so many dad’s out there who are dying to see their kids, and so many mom’s out there who would do anything for their kids dad to be apart of the child’s life. How can someone look at their child and NOT want to give them the world??? Which would include both parents. (again, unless one of the parents are a danger to the child) I grew up without a dad. Only had a step dad til I was in 5tg grade than wen he n my mom split he wanted nothing to do with me. It sucked. I always wondered who my dad was, what he looked like, if I looked like him or was like him in anyway, ect… No kid should have to deal with that unless there’s no other option

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If he really wanted to he would take her to court🤷🏼‍♀️ sounds like he’s just telling you what he thinks you wanna hear

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Does he pay child support?

Court for visitation

A real MAN goes to the court house and demands to PAY to support his child, gets visitations and enforces his rights. My Dad was the first man in my country to win custody of a child without proving the mother unfit. IN 1985. This guy is a child, who made a child, and is now making all the excuses in the world to not step up and make sure that child is eating and cared for. Go take care of your responsibilities, little boy, you don’t need permission from anyone to do so. This is all static and weakness. :unamused:

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Go to a court, get DNA, request full custody since she was to play games, but they will probably give him 50/50

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Mind your business. Not your child

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Is your fiancé on the birth certificate? Because if he’s not, he has 0 rights to the child and if he thinks the child is his, then he needs to get a DNA test done…but if he is on the birth certificate, then he needs to take her to court.

Go to court!! :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

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He can take her to court. Period!
Since your not married yet… mind your beeswax. Because there is Always more to a story than one side.

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The problem with the world today , is that men don’t handle their own shit with their baby mamas. He needs to handle that shit himself. Period.

Court? An attorney? She didn’t know he was black before they slept together?

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Get an attorney and he will get visitation.

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Nothing. He needs to, he’s the father.

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Take her to court. Visitation and child support are two completely different issues. One doesn’t have to do one without the other

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He can go to court and fight for his kid… why is this even a question?!

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Why mind your business if your about to get married? It’s all your business. Shoot you might find something that changes your mind on this whole thing… hopefully not tho.

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You reap what you sow!!!

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You’re about to marry a loser who can’t google parental rights so be prepared to one day be the “crazy baby mama” he’s talking about and he’ll have alllll the excuses in the world not to take care of your child too. :rofl:

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Sounds like he may have been a deadbeat dad before you come along.

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