What should we do about my daughters friend?

Do not let her come in until you confront her with her stealing and tell her she will not be allowed inside your home if she ever does it again!!!

I would talk to her and tell her of she does it anymore she will not be welcome in your home.

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nope she wouldn’t be allowed back in my home. she’s only 7 this will get much worse as she gets older.

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I wouldn’t let her in my house!

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Her mom knows, so it’s time to chat with her mom before sitting down with child (both of you). At 7, she doesn’t fully understand why stealing is wrong, but it’s crucial to nip it in the bud. She needs to learn that this is a boundary she cannot cross and what the consequences are for crossing it.

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Her parents should’ve already taught their child not to steal, mine is 6 and knows enough to not take things that aren’t hers

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If she was older I would get the way you feel, but she is 7. She is still in the process of learning these lessons in life. Don’t think that your daughter/son won’t one day rebel and you will wish there was a kind enough person there that wasn’t gonna treat them like crap.

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I would kindly ask her did she have any toys before she left each time & say if you do you all can’t play inside anymore… but I would’ve started the 1st time mom called

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I would confront her about it. Because she’s 7 I’d be nice about it But be firm and tell her she won’t be allowed to come inside to play anymore if she does it again.
And to bring the stuff back that she already stole.
Now if she was to still come in the house she would be staying in the common areas with everyone until she can build that trust back.

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I dont allow my kids to have there friends in the house bc of this. They hate it but outside or in public places is where they can hang out with there friends! I work to hard to have my stuff stolen! :blush:

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Talk to her about it bein wrong and let her know that you wont allow her back in your home if it continues.

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Would your child maybe give the items to her? My daughter is always trying to give her stuff to her friends without asking if not I’d just talk with the girl and ask her to not take things that don’t belong to her

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I don’t care about age when it comes to stealing!!! I don’t let thieves in my house.

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Don’t let her in the room. Supervise in the living room. Shorten the AMT of time she’s let inside. Talk to her and explain why things are now the way they are. Make it clear she’ll have to earn the trust back.

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No need to make a big deal, kids do stuff like that sometimes. Even when their older and even when they know better. I would still let her over to play if your kid likes her but just tell the kid straight up, dont take nothing from my house little girl.

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Definitely an age thing. Ask the little girl and find out why.
Maybe there are some toys you can share or donate to her. I do that with kiddos that come to my house. like toys that my kids no longer play with I’ll allow them to choose a couple to take with them. Takes away the reason to steal in most cases.

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Don’t sugar coat it but don’t lie either. However, tell her the truth. I had to tell one of my daughter’s friend’s that too.

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She wouldnt be coming back.

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My daughter used to do this. I’d have her bring back what she took every time. It wasn’t just from people tho it was stores etc… and she had never seen anyone steal to learn it. She ended up being diagnosed with ADHD and that is a symptom of it. The doctor said kids with ADHD aren’t thinking oh I’m going to steal this it’s just them thinking oh I like that I want it so it’s mine. Again we hadn’t explained stealing before it started. Now that she knows what she is doing is wrong she gets in trouble… but since starting meds and realizing it’s wrong she stopped I think it has happened once since and it was from the dollar store. I made her bring it back and she got in trouble

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I’d do the same. She can come over, but she ain’t allowed inside.

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We both you mom’s need to have a talk with that kid

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I see all these “shes only 7” blah blah comments…no. my daughter is 7. She KNOWS better. She’s known better for years. U have the right to tell the kid u know she’s taking things that aren’t hers and to not do it again or she won’t be able to come play. Plain and simple. If mine was stealing I wouldn’t blame an adult one bit for saying something to her.

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Several issues. One is had your daughter complained about missing items? Did you ask your daughter if she gave the items to her friend? Did your daughter feel comfortable telling you the truth about giving stuff to her friend or did she think she might get in trouble so threw her friend under the bus? I think you and the other Mom need to get together and come up with a plan on how to handle “gift giving”. Then sit both girls down together and let them know the rules. No toys removed from either house unless Mom or dad says ok to both girls. This clears up many problems. I would not be labeling the girl a thief. You didn’t even know till the other Mom said something and that means two things. 1. Your daughter gave her the stuff but was afraid to tell you, 2. Your daughter has so much stuff she didn’t even know it was gone. This is a young child. So clean slate, work with her Mom and sit Both girls down and tell them the rules. Explain that this way there is no misunderstanding and do not accuse the guest of being a thief. She may not have known or misunderstood

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Had this problem before. I confronted the mom about it. Told her to discipline her kid. Next time kid came over,she wasnt allowed in my daughter’s room. They had to stay in the living room and watch tv or play on tablets bc banned the kid from playing with my daughter’s stuff.

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I feel like sense the mom is reaching out to you and being honest with you it will be okay kids are kids as they grow they make mistakes but they learn

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I would confront her and just let her know that that’s not what is expected of her when she’s visiting. That maybe she didn’t realize what she was doing was wrong maybe in her mind she could take it back so she was “borrowing it”. One time warning and if we find out that it happens again she’ll have to stop visiting.

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Honestly in this scenario I’d have a nice discussion with the child. If the mother is aware I’d just communicate this with her as well…maybe have a group discussion. I’d also have a discussion with your child to ensure they were indeed stolen and not given. Children…especially this young do not often think as we do. If the child has something like ADHD they certainly have a different way of thinking and this should be taken into consideration as well. By all means set those boundaries and be stern but also have an open mind and discussion with everyone. Set some rules…children learn overtime what is right and wrong.

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My friend used to do this when I was younger. She would come over and take things from my room, I would see it like the next day in hers so I would just take it back :woman_shrugging:

I had a friend with a young daughter that was constantly stealing stuff from my daughter. She was caught several times. I finally had to say she wasn’t allowed at house anymore.

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Dont allow her home in the room. TBH I would tell the kid i know that they borrowed stuff from your daughter and that it is ok to borrow but it is not ok to take with out asking. Let her know that behavior is not ok in your home.

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Yep kids normally go through this. Time for important lessons for both kids and parents!

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Lori Musa who does this sound like?! Ugh! We had this happen with a girl that lives near us. I asked for the items back and the kid lied and then straight up ghosted my 9 year old. We live two houses away, and it’s the only girl close by, there are a ton of boys all my daughters age too but she is the only girl and luckily they are the same age. My daughter and this girl just started talking and playing outside again. I’m having a hard time accepting it because I don’t like my kid to deal with a crappy friend. But I have talked to her many times about how to not let people take advantage of you and how once you know they are capable of that you have to just be cautious. My daughter wants to see the best in people but I don’t want this girl to just use her and then ghost her again. Parenting is so hard. I just want to protect her little heart all the time but I have to let her learn and have her own experiences. All we can do is try our best to talk to them and guide them. :purple_heart:

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Ask her not to take things. Tell her that isn’t something she should do. Someone needs to teach her that taking things that don’t belong to her isn’t right!
It takes a village!!

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There are these people in her life that are called “parents” they need to address the situation with her and if it still happens she can no longer come visit

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Her parents need to Punish her to let her know that is Wrong.7 is So young to be doing that. My kids new that was wrong and did not do that.

I have a 7 year old and I’d just talk to her honestly, they are fully capable of understanding not to steal.

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I have two girls and several nieces… They all like to “give” eachother things and sometimes want it back and they will all lie lol sometimes they also think they will be in trouble for giving/taking back and it stirs up more lies/drama lol trust me ALL kids go through it. I agree with the comment above about both moms talking to both girls and setting ground rules where no toys or whatever are exchanged, borrowed, held onto, taken back, whatever unless the adults at home oversee it. Clean slate and clear boundaries.

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Take something from her. Kids don’t understand cause and effect until it happens to them.

Seven is prime age to discipline. Teach through consequences.

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She understands quite well what she is doing. Maybe have a nice chat with her. My daughter’s ex friend of about six years ago ( they were 14) at the time had stolen my wedding rings that I had gifted my daughter because my husband had gotten me a new set. But we only found this out after her mom told us she was arrested for shoplifting and she was going to leave her in jail over night. Needless to say that was the end of that friendship. There are also other factors involved, don’t offend the girl or her parents. Be gentle, we don’t know what their challenges are. All the best😊

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I would Just stop her from coming over.

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Sit down with her and her parents and have a talk with her how it’s wrong

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Her parents need to remind her\teach her not to steal.
Ur daughter needs to remind\check her.
You and spouse need to remind\check her.

I have always made sure my kid’s pockets don’t have anyone’s belongings, idk if it embarrasses my kids but after a while i didn’t have to tell them to check their pockets because they knew\know not to do\try that.

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Parents need to make her return and apoligize

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Have a chat and set a 7year old appropriate boundary.

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Both sets of parents talk and then include the girls… sort it out now for everyone’s sake

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It could be that your daughter had given them to her as children if that age don’t really think that they can’t just give things away. I’d maybe, every time she comes over, as she’s getting ready to leave? just casually say ok time to go, make sure you haven’t forgotten anything in your hands or pockets that’s supposed to be put away xx

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Have you asked your daughter if she might have said she could have things or borrow them maybe even trade? Just a thought when I was younger my friends and I did things like that alot.

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I wouldn’t have her in my home hate thieves

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Start checking her bag or asking her to empty her pockets and such before she leaves. The embarrassment may just break her of it.

I would probably not let her come over for awhile. Chances are she’s not getting proper guidance at home.