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QUESTION:
"My Bonus daughter is moving out in 2 months to start her life as an adult. Very proud of her b/c she’s definitely going places. My husband & I are disagreeing on what to do with her room. We still have 2 kids under 15. The teen still at home is currently in a very very small room-When we moved in it was a little bigger than the average walk-in closet but she was glad to have her own space. Bonus daughter’s normal size room is not going to be occupied by anyone but she wants us to leave her room alone & she will come & get her things when she can but we don’t know how long that will be b/c she’s moving in with family out of state for school & has no place to put in. She’s not even open to moving her things to the smaller room our other teen is in. My husband doesn’t want the argument with our girl moving but I don’t think this plan makes any sense & I feel it’s very rude to tell our home teen she has to stay in a tiny room when another larger room is right across the hall. Is this something you guys would stand your ground on or do I tell our home teen she can’t have the bigger room?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"I would give the one in the home the larger room and move the other one’s to the smaller room."
"I’d stand my ground. The kid, who is still living there, and is still a minor gets the bigger room. The adult who is out on her own is welcome to keep her stuff there but it needs to be packed away and stored in the smaller room"
"Wait just a little time he’s probably a little sad to think of his baby girl leaving maybe a month or two after the big move bring it up and move the rooms"
"Move her stuff into the smaller room … give the other teen the bigger room that is what we are doing when are oldest daughter moves out in about 6 months"
"If your teen isn’t complaining about the small space, I would leave it be, but let your bonus daughter know that after xx period of time if the teen would like to move into that room, that you will be switching the stuff around. I wouldn’t cause an argument if everyone is fine with current arrangement, but let them know it will change if teen decides she wants a larger room."
"Currently our 18 year old preparing to leave in August for dorm life at college. It was her idea to move rooms with her younger 14 year old brother. As her room is twice the size of his and she’ll only be home on weekends. My opinion is rooms should be switched."
"Did the other teen ask for the room? If she wants it I think this would be a very fine time to show her how to be kind but firm"
"Does the teen still at home want to leave her room? As in has she requested it or was it your idea? If she has then I’d simply back the other girl's stuff in boxes and switch the rooms around. Her father should understand and there should be no issue since those girls still live at home."
"I would have your bonus daughter box all her stuff before she moves and move it to the other room if she doesn’t want anyone touching her stuff. I wouldn’t be leaving her room with everything in it especially when your other child is in a small room"
"Have her pack all her stuff and switch rooms before she goes. That way she knows where everything is when she returns for it. If she comes back and everything is moved, she will be devastated. Make it clear now that her room is being switched out."
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