What to say in court tax exemption

I’m hoping to find advice.
I have raised my daughter since I was 14 years old with no financial help from her father. He was a 19 year old man and ran. Then years of years of history to follow. She is now 11.
They have been finally maintaining pretty routine parenting time. Things are going very well for the first time in her 10 years of life (when times started being consistent) So I decided to file support in Sept 2021. That ended with several threats about taking my daughter away or taking joint custody even though he hasn’t been involved since the day she was born besides spontaneously. He claims I am the person to just take my kid away every time I was mad. Nothing is ever his fault. Just mine.
Long story short, I even tried to close the child support case cuz he was going so strong and I couldn’t afford a lawyer half as good as his and I didn’t want to go thru all of this and he literally makes me sound like a monster. :sob: He’s always been too well at manipulating and belittling me.
Anyways, court came in December and he was court ordered to pay. They wouldn’t let me drop the case. (how stupid of me to even try over fear)
Anyways, Somehow he also got every single year on taxes including 2021 taxes. but How? I didn’t receive his first payment til the first week of January 2022. He hasn’t financially supported her in ELEVEN years!! Now if he follows the order and gets her medical insurance like he’s supposed to then Id understand him being deserving of the taxes. but he hasn’t in eleven years and taxes weren’t even discussed in court.

I petitioned the court to discuss 2021 taxes. What are some reasonable responses to me claiming her on 2021 taxes? besides the fact my husband and I have financially supported her all year and he hadn’t even had her but a handful of overnights. What are some other reasonings I could use in court?
I guess the cat got my tongue and I am so anxious and frozen and I have no idea what to say. I know if he doesn’t get taxes it’s going to be hell to pay. I also don’t work. I’m a stay at home mom but my husband has supported her the last six years and that’s instantly something he threw down my face and belittled me for that “I haven’t contributed a dime to my daughter, a man has and he has more at this point” Just because I’m a SAHM mom doesn’t mean I don’t make financial moves for my daughter when I need to but I’m staying home right now to raise her and her younger siblings.
Anyways I guess I’m just asking for some advice on how to go about court and how to use solid responses with professionalism? I’d honestly like to debate every other year but I’m not going to push my luck.
I’ve also read that I will have to pay him back for the child tax credit payments we received. I just don’t see how any of this would be fair for 2021. Like I said, future taxes I will be much more understanding of but I don’t understand how he qualified for 2021. not one dime from the man in 2021.

Thanks again for any help. My anxiety and fear is taking over. He tends to make me look like a monster too often. :weary:

edit to add: Taxes was not discussed in court whatsoever. On the final order of paternity it says father is to claim tax exempt every year. He fully intends to file contempt if I file. the IRS would say yes, I have a right to claim her BUT the judge can still punish me for contempt of court.

Edit: It is court ordered by a judge and he has already threatened to file contempt if I claim her on taxes… Just kind of fishing for advice on what to say in court. Thank you. Xxx