I tossed the name and the marriage
I did find out mine cheated. With someone I knew. We were together 20 years. I left. Hardest thing I’ve ever done but I couldn’t stay with someone who I couldn’t trust and obviously didn’t love me. I’m much better off and happier by myself. Life is too short to be mistreated.
Keep whatever evidence you need for court. Stay silent and get your affairs in order as soon as you can so you can move, or if you want to keep the home, kick him and his stuff out, change the locks and make sure you can afford it on your own. best of luck. Been there.
Go there and knock on the door! I personally would go there and KICK the door down
Go over to her house and if u can print out the text and keep them for court…you sure got some good friends…
Throw his shit in the front yard, lock the doors, hire a lawyer!!!
Be smart. Act like you don’t know a thing, secretly put back money and switch it into new accounts away from him, and set up a consultation with a good attorney. I gave my mom my money and she opened up a savings account in her name so my ex wouldn’t get any of my deployment money… he thought he was slick messing around with our neighbor’s wife
print out all their texts hire a lawyer and divorce him and dump your so called friend
One of us would be going on a very long vacation.
Think of kids!Don’t put yourself in harm. They need you! Save up money and get prepared.Dont let your emotions rule you!
You can make a better life for you and children.
Disappear from his life
Pack his shit up #Bye
DON’T SAY OR DO ANYTHING UNTIL YOU HAVE ALL YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW. This way you will have the upper hand & the element of surprise on your side. Don’t give him a chance to act & screw gum over.
Collect evidence, consult a lawyer, get statements of all bank accounts and other assets immediately, decide how you want to split things up and what you want to do about any children you may have before you let on anything.
Tell him you’re upset that someone he barely knows is gravely ill or dying, or make up whatever lie you want that he won’t be able to check on as to why you’re sad, upset, angry & don’t want sex right now.
I know the urge is to explode and wale away on him immediately, but you give away all your power when you do that. BTW, my condolences on the loss of your husband and former best friend. Do take care of yourself; get therapy as soon as you can, tend to your spiritual needs, lean on your most discreet friends and family and swear them to secrecy. Join a support group, get grief counseling, try to eat healthy, get out in nature, get some exercise doing something you enjoy, like punching a bag & pretending it’s him. Exercise machines are good for working off anger & frustration. If $$ is an issue, start speed walking or jogging and work your way up to running. The more exhausted you can make yourself the less energy you will have to be furious or weepy, plus you’ll get in better shape. Win-win.
And yes, stay out of a relationship for a year while you work on yourself. Rebound relationships are usually big trouble & you need to process the shock and this double betrayal before you can make rational decisions.
Stand Tall. This is THEM not you.
Plan and plot, they deserve each other leave when you’re ready and have things in order.
I would go to a good lawyer show him or her the text you have fight for your rights he the one in the wrong and she not a friend if she can do that to you I feel so sorry for you good luck with it all
Let him hang himself…with his answers
Yeah! Pack his bags and go knock on her door . When they answer…simply say: “here ya go you may need these “ , then throw the stuff @ them & leave!!! Go home, change the locks, get the money that’s yours out of the bank, & contact your lawyer right away! Don’t forget to take the phone with you when you go see your lawyer as proof of the infidelity!!! If this has been going on for years…then the time for forgiveness is way past!!!
You go and whoop dat ass! That’s what you do!
Divorce asap. Get an attorney
Start getting your shit together, make copies of everything once you know you are secure take his ass to court and wipe him clean. I know someone that this happened to years ago, she ended up telling her friend that was sleeping with her husband that she’s been going to the doctor and that she tested positive for like herpes down there, and that her husband has full blown aids but denies it at all cost. It was like watching a movie when shit hit the fan. She got the townhouse, kids and was set. She got remarried not to long ago she seems happy. Good luck sweetie. On what ever you do just dont do something stupid that would land you in jail.
I would calmly go to the bank withdraw a significant portion on the funds transfer it to a bank account and your direct deposit there as well. Stay calm and busy tonight go to an attorney in the morning and pack him up tomorrow afternoon or wait until he is there again and toss his stuff on the porch and walk away from both of them
Been there. Just go. You will never be able to trust him again. Be prepared to ho through all of the emotions of a death though. It suck’s. Hang in there and lean on your true friends/family, you will need them.
Pack his shit n put it outside so when he gets home he can just take it n leave.
Take pictures of the texts with your phone so that your lawyer has all the info for the divorce
See part of me wants to start beating folks but then I think… you should play smart… sit back and wait and watch playing dumb and gather all the info you can(pics, copy of texts, etc) then start taking the money out of y’all’s accounts and make you a new one… that way when you bust then it can’t be denied- you have money to start over and he has nothing! Maybe she’ll take him in
Leave it’s not going to work!
My ex-hubby cheated on me…last time he cheated, I let the woman keep him and I moved on.
Please do not believe a word he says, he will not stop seeing her, unfortunately, I promise you that. Walk away now and save yourself the trouble. I wish I did.
Tell him not to bother coming home and he can collect his shit from the lawn.
Start hiding money. And find a good divorce lawyer.
Uhm, petty Betty says pull up
Pack his stuff up change the locks and don’t let him back in.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
Throw his ass out!
Sadly depending if he is on the mortgage or lease you cant just kick him out. But if show up to her house with a bottle of wine and act oblivious saying you wanted some girl buddy time. See how they both act. He would know youd know. Def lawyer up though.
Excellent advice however what about females THAT CAN NOTx2 leave marriage in collateral situations or just love the A-hole or just the A-hole’s penis treatment Can Not live without addiction regardless of cheating and just like to Karen complain do nothing about it even how much advice you give to them them know what to do just don’t act on it and just looking for pity and attention?! Just saying.
I’d deplete the bank account, change any direct deposits, pack his shit, and light a cig before he even came home.
Update us when you kick his ass to the curb
Divorce his ass after obtaining a lawyer and get and keep all proof! Screenshot all texts, pictures, hire a PI if you can. I hope he has allot of $ cause Alimony and getting all the assets would be great!!! NAIL HIM TO THE WALL. THEN TAKE A NICE VACAY ON HIS CREDIT CARD
This happened to me and I agree that it is shocking and hurtful from a man that you married and trusted!
Your friend who should not ever be screwing around with a married man, ever!
Just know that Karma will kick them hard and I pray that you get to witness it.
Stay strong Angel. Make him pay for breaking his marriage vows!
Believe it or not, you can move past this day and this shock. He’s an infidel/cheater and that is for him to own, not you.
Pack his shit leave it on the lawn an change the locks. Go get a lawyer and get out of it. If it’s been going on for years then she’s not your friend an he definitely isn’t going to change so cut ties and get out before you get twisted up in their lies.
Pack your shit an go he’ll come home to A Empty Home!!!
Come up with a plan. Sell what you can if you need $$. Get out asap. -everyone is different and go through different situations but my personal opinion is to NOT work things out and leave- your heart hurts, there’s anger and confusion but if this has been for years…. Get out. Get your mind right and do what’s best for you… either option will hurt but I believe that leaving will be in your best interest. Divorce lawyer then after you get out. Keep all evidence… take pictures of the texts.
File for divorce and custody of any kids you have. Document all the texts in photos and any pics he has sent/she has sent and print them off give to lawyer. Any money of yours in joint account move to your own account he isn’t on.
Sorry! Pull up! Nuff said! PULL UP
Lawyer up and take all his shit I mean years?!? Take it all!
Start packing your shit or his. He made his choice.
Don’t bother trying to salvage either relationship. They’ve both handed you your hat. Leave with dignity.
Keep the extra phone for evidence or copy texts for divorce. Pull out funds and put in Cashiers checks. Sell all his tools and things you don’t use and keep the cash. Put hair remover in his shampoo and cut a hole in all his jeans crotch areas. Pack your bags and move out and take all the light bulbs, toilet paper…ect with you. Show up at the girls house and slash three tires so you have time to do that all before he gets home without him knowing. Never look back.
Start putting alllll ur money away. Act like u don’t know GET EVIDENCE! Take him to court! See a lawyer before u do ANYTHING
Leave him and don’t look back! And get the POS for everything you can! Then go find yourself a REAL man! Good luck…
Oh wow! I would confront them bith without letting them see you while they come out of the house and let them know what you’ve found. Please don’t let them make you think it’s nothing and save the messages. Whip their asses in broad day light.
Confront both together, and then bring out the phone
It’s been two hours since you posted and I’m hoping you left his ass…. You are worth much more GIRL!
Well id def go confront the friend but right now get some trash bags pack whatever and set them on the porch or take it and leave it on her porch but either way id show up and confront those pos. Ik i would of already showed up to the house and fu*ked her up and punched him a few times but idk. That level of betrayl is uncalled for.
Change the locks, put his stuff in the front yard and tell him bye! Trust me, I’ve been through this. He will most likely lie…even possibly try to make it sound like it’s nothing and he will keep seeing her. If not her…it will be someone else.
Plan your new Life without him… Dont confront Him …you already Know… Get legal Advise first,
Collect the evidence from his phone and take it to an attorney. Open new checking acct and make sure you have everything you need…file for divorce and wash your hands of them both.
I could handle a one off stupid choice, but that’s deception and just plain wrong for a long ass time from your man and a friend. Protect yourself and move on…so much better out there for you
Definitely time to think of you ¬ him at all. You know exactly where you stand with him esp. since this has been going on for so long. Keep proof… save money… go on to pretend that you know nothing for as long as you need to until you can walk out… file for a divorce… look for a place… ask for custody of the kids… you deserve better!
Just leave him! Bring all this sh*t to Court Nail him to the wall! (As I’m sure he’d do if the situation was reversed)
U definitely don’t need any enemies.
I’d save the evidence, stack $, find an attorney, figure out where I’m going. I’d keep quite and hold my tongue until I had everything in order.
If you don’t have children just leave and have your divorce papers sent to him
Pack your stuff and leave
Carry on as normal so he doesn’t suspect you know and gather all the evidence you need without any fuss and take him to court, get everything you deserve and more if possible. Leave his stuff at the tip. Leave with your head held high. Say nothing to him, just walk on by like he doesn’t exist. He doesn’t deserve your words, your time, your energy. Xx
Change the locks right now if you own the place. If not leave asap to a friends or fams with your shit. Not worth the stress.
Clean out the bank acc etc. & leave quickly.
Walk away as fast as you can
Pack your shit, hit the ATM and gtfo
Go to bed so you’re not fuming in his face when he comes home. Go to your local hardware store first thing in the morning and change ur locks. It’s not hard at all. Change them and then put his personal belongings out in the yard. Not on the porch. In the grass. Mud. Parking lot if ur in an apartment. Don’t put his shit out before u change the locks so he can’t come home and see what’s going on and get in. After they’re changed, send them both all the proof and tell them to
fuck off and never look back. That’s the smart thing to do. I would be busting up in her door the min I pinged his phone and seen the messages, but I get a little loco when I’m mad and have no self control
Get out. Leave him. Don’t look back. He will never change if it’s been going on with a friend for this long.
I would act like I don’t know and make sure you secure all evidence and file for divorce.
Pack your stuff and leave!! There is no excuse for their actions!
Show up at her house
Make a plan. Don’t act out of anger. Start planning on when, how and what you’re going to do to get away from him. Make sure you cross all the T’s and dot all your I’s and don’t make hasty decisions that will put you in a compromising situation. Get a lawyer and save some money so you aren’t caught up financially. If it were me, I’d put my plans all in place, file for divorce and drop it on him unexpectedly. It’s going to be hard not to blow up but you need to keep your head about you so you are thinking clearly to make important decisions. Give the phone or print out everything to your lawyer. Stay as calm as you can and act quickly to get away. It won’t change. Don’t worry about insignificant “stuff” in the house etc, just set up your security blanket now before he burns you even more. Dump the Dumbass
Stay calm and try to just be yourself. Keep quiet, move any money and anything of value into your name.
Get an attorney and deliver divorce papers along with his clothes to her house. Just keep it all legal
Confront them together and let her have him. Walk away
I’d pack his things and move him out while he’s there so now he can b her problem, it’s not any fun when u get caught, she ain’t gonna want him either
Keep ALL the evidence!
Make screenshots of EVERYTHING, and dont dare let him know!
Get a lawyer, and hand over everything.
You’ll be glad u did!
I would put all his stuff in the trash, if he wants to start over then he will start all the way over. I would empty the bank account, maybe take a weekend trip to get my mind right then come back start the divorce and move on.
Send the texts to yourself for evidence. Text him and tell him to stay there and not come home. File for divorce
You have to stop and think clear. Think about you and your kids first, don’t think about being angry at him or your friend. Don’t make rash decisions or confront with anger. Get things together, collect the proof. Take photos and videos of it so he can’t call you crazy. Speak to a lawyer. Find out what you want to do, divorce/counseling/confronting/drain accounts/kick him out/move out yourself. Then act on it. It’s earth shattering, but this is a big change to your entire family.
Take him to the cleaners.
Make arrangements to have your own stuff. Job, house, all that. Then when he leaves next write him a note and pack your shit and leave.
Let her have his ass!
Uhhh you lock the door, toss his stuff out of the window and tell him if he likes her bed so much, he can join her there?
Take screenshots or pics of all messages for evidence of infidelity. If you want to get really creative act like you don’t know get divorce papers done yo and next time he is there go to her house and serve him the papers
Well have things been good between you for years. He stays with you for a reason. And find out why he’s doing it. Then make your decision. If it can’t be fixed leave don’t waste anymore of your life on him.
N don’t leave the house!
Make him leave.
Pack all his crap and throw out the front lawn….actually don’t even pack his crap just toss it on the lawn and hope for rain🤷♀️
Change the locks too asapif he has a key
Two words. DIVORCE ATTORNEY.
Email yourself the pics don’t just take pics he can delete those
Pack his stuff and leave out the front door and change the locks on your house
Show up to his house with a sledge hammer
Sending big love and hugs your way sweets. I’m so sorry your going through something so horrible and with your friend it’s a double blow.
First try to find out why.? Then I ask him to leave. After all I have the children to think about. Sorry to say Once a cheaper always a cheater.
Let her have him!!! Been there ….
Pack & leave before he even got home
First I’d clear out some of the accounts and transfer them into your own. Then I’d take screenshots of every message/email. I might even try and get photo evidence if you want to sit on it for a few days. Cars at her/your place, receipts/them at dinner/etc.
Then when you have enough courage, or are angry enough- text them both saying you need to see them, it’s an emergency and you need support ASAP. When they show up, pull out the phone and ask them both while they’re in front of you. So they can’t lie. Then you can ask her to help him pack because she’s his problem now. Lol
I’d actually make it a funny thing, like “oh he’ll need a toothbrush at your place!” Like your packing for a forever sleepover lol “he’ll need a couple change of clothes!” grab entire closet and loft it at him
And then say, have a nice trip! Shut the door and start filing for divorce.
play him at his own game, bring a guy home, start moving money, look for a new okacr away from them and get a divorce
Screenshot all proof and send to yourself file for divorce and alimony. Or forgive and therapy. Up to you