What would you do if you found out your husband had a only fan’s account and watched p*** and lied about it?

So some back ground. Idc if my husband watches I told him that. But he lies that he dosent. And I have noticed it’s right before we do the deed. Today I needed his lap top for something and I called him asked if I could use it he said yes and gave me the password. While I was busy my daughter clicked stuff and I lost my
Page. I went to history so I could get back to it and saw his history with time stamps from this morning. I was thinking maybe it was just today since I turned him down? I’m 25 weeks pregnant so mornings I just don’t want anything cuz I’m tired. So then I did some digging. And I seen literally everytime this past month we have done anything he watched p*** first. Then I saw he has a only fans account. Which we have talked about and I have told him I don’t want him to have one because to me that’s cheating if he has one and I can’t. I have major anxiety about things that I know will start a fight. And I know this will. I feel so unattractive now knowing he’s looking at chicks skinnier then me. What do I do? How do I control my anger with him and the feeling of betrayal? We have 2 kids already so I just don’t know what to do or how to feel…

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What’s the most effective way to clean my washing machine?

Nope. Everyone is entitled to their opinion buts thats all it is. An opinion. Some woman are ok with it, some arnt. Nobody is wrong or insecure because of how they feel And if you don’t like something, then he needs to respect that! That is cheating in my book and wouldnt be tolerated.

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That is absolutely cheating I would be furious

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So your bull likes to watch the heifers in the next field have sex with bulls before he chases you but your worried that Only Fans might make a hole in the fence? You shouldnt have to build a brick wall between pastures to keep him from looking, you may need a different bull

If a man lies about something then I always wonder what else he lies about

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The internet destroys relationships. Whether if it’s porn or fans only.
I’m so sick of this crap.
Nothing seems to be enough for these mens.

You have every right to feel the way you feel… but remember those girls are skinnier than you because you are carrying another human in there, after that baby is born you can be as sexy as you were ,so don’t over stress over it… you ROCK!!!

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If he’s watching porn he’s not having sex with you. He’s fantasizing that you are the girls he’s watching. Only fans is disgusting. I see it as cheating. I couldn’t stay with him.

Why is the word porn being blocked it? I was not aware it was like a cuss word now. Just curious.

Your feelings are valid. And I understand about being pregnant. I’m almost 30 weeks and my feelings would be hurt if I found out my husband was looking Especially growing our baby. Set your boundaries. He needs to respect you. Good luck

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In my opinion, looking at porn isn’t cheating. But that’s just me. It’s the lying I’m not okay with. If he will do this, knowing you don’t like it and LIES about it, that’s a huge issue right there. It’s not so much that he’s looking at naked women online because at the end of the day, he’s with you despite what may get his “motor” running but if he’s lying about this… What else is he lying about? But again, it’s a huge disrespect for him to do something you are clearly not okay with.

Is he having erectile problems and doesn’t want to tell you ? …might be the reason he has to watch porn before sex and there are other ways of dealing with it as a couple.
If hes not having problems/wont talk/refuses to stop…then he’d be sleeping in another room and I wouldnt be finishing what someone else started

A lot of people have if :joy_cat::rofl::woozy_face:

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Porn is porn , if he’s paying for it is is the only difference. He’s not cheating if he’s not chatting :wink: Onlyfans girls don’t want him

Why do men ways cheat on their pregnant girls. That’s so sad. But you’re valid. My advice take pictures of everything as evidence so if you confront him and he deletes it he can’t manipulate you and gaslight you. And maybe not confront yet and just wait and keep taking evidence. But if I’m being honest if he’s lying over something so simple there’s probably worse things too. And I don’t want to jump and suggest oh just leave him. But usually the end result in cases like these is divorce or breakup. And I think you should really think about the future and for the kids. Remember never stay in a broken relationship for the kids cuz it’ll still mess them up. Have a plan maybe. It just seems if he’s lying and you have the evidence or you show him you have evidence and he still denies it, ik it’d be hard but leave. Cuz that man does not respect you or your boundaries. And it’s a big deal tbh. You can always try and talk about your feelings and remind him and blah blah blah. But I’m telling you he’ll hear you but not listen. Girl I can’t stress this enough please get a back up plan asap. And why I say wait on confronting what if he decides to end it all and you don’t know what to do?.. so just think really hard and about the kids. It’s better to be a single mom that’s raising her kids than to be a mom that stayed in a unhappy relationship thinking it’s better for the kids. Cuz I’ll tell you it’s not, kids will appreciate you in the future for not putting them through that, divorce and separating is hard but when they get older and you explain you didn’t want the bad to influence them, or you didn’t really want to lie about something that will be big in their life one day they’ll understand. Kids pick up on stuff.

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To each their own. To me porn,account or not, is not cheating. The LIES is the bigger deal alkng with not respecting your concerns. If he lies about that,what else is he lying about.

I had gone though quite a bit of couples counseling with my ex partner. I was told time and time again that one partner may have a lower tolerance or (comfortability) with something that the other is perfectly fine with. In which case this is a respect issue. When this happens, it’s assumed and natural that the other partner would respect how the other feels and your base line default would be that of the partners with lower tolerance. If you’re not comfortable with what he’s doing and you express this to him, he should stop. Period. And lying is a whole issue on its own. And of course there is much gray area and this concept should never be taken to extremes etc etc etc It sounds like his actions are hurtful to you and that’s not okay.

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Yolo, make yourself an onlyfans account. You’re pregnant bet that is in high demand. He should be fine with it cause it is not cheating

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It’s only cheating because you can’t have an only fans? So if you had one you wouldn’t care if your husband looked at other girls? Calm down. He’s LOOKING. Until he’s sticking his peen other places you have nothing to worry about.

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You’re pregnant so don’t get crazy…just talk to him. There are bitter people on this page that will say he’s cheating, leave him, you’re better off. No. Talk to him. That’s it. Just fucking talk to him.

This won’t be a popular opinion and that is ok. Everyone has their own mind, own likes, and things that turn them on. We will never find someone with the whole package but we love them anyways. Porn isn’t an issue only fans isnt an issue. Its you knowing that your the shit and if he truly was to go coat tailing with someone it would truly be his loss! Your feelings are justified but keep in mind if this is your feelings every time you look at another man tv, magazine, public and think damn he is hot its cheating you as a human shouldn’t do that! According to your statements. We are human! Shoot watch it with him see what he likes about it laugh at some of it try some of it! Show some interest in what he is watching! Maybe he knows your pg and has needs hes just trying not to bother you with or make a big deal about. Sending you some prayers and comfort :heart::raised_hands:t2::pray:

I’d be furious and I’d leave tbh. He knew you aren’t okay with that and he still did It anyway

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I see OF as a way for many to earn money. My issue is the fact that he lied about having one. If he’s lying about owning one, I’m sorry but what else could he be lying about? And to be honest, it could be worse if it happens to be someone he knows (sorry, my mind just went there and I know it would cause a major insecurity). With the fact that you are pregnant and with your anxiety, this is going to eat at your mind until a fight happens. Like it has been mentioned, I would have proof of what you found and collect proof over time. Screenshot the history, take pictures and make sure the times ramps are they. Have the proof so he won’t lie and say you are making stuff up (cause men always say that).

I don’t care if my bf watches porn from porn sites, but if he’s watching from an only fans PAYING FOR IT, and it possibly being someone we know then that’s a big no from me.

I’d be asking where my money at lol no I’m kidding I respect how you feel if your not ok with it than that’s not cool especially if he knows your not ok with it and guys always look at beautiful woman that are hotter than us not sure why guess they can’t help themselves but I’m sure he still loves u looking and doing are 2 different things u know as long as he’s not talking or meeting up with these girls

He should respect you enough to tell you that he watches porn because it is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Most of the girls on porn websites and on only fans know they have a bangin body or are in fact fake. Which is why they choose that job. You are a real woman with real curves and your beautiful so please don’t try and feel down about it. Tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t reassure you in any way or gets angry then he’s a loser.

Be upset he’s spending money on a site( and lied about it) when there are free website. Just my opinion but men look at porn(women do it as well, but will lie that they actuallydo watch it) you can’t really change it. As for doing it before you did anything maybe he did it so he lasts longer in bed, most men are visual they have to see amd hear it to actually get off, women can just picture it(imagine it) in their heads and be good. Im sorry you are going through this.

My boundaries are unique to my relationship and how I would respond is not necessarily the appropriate way for you to respond. It is clear that your boundaries were crossed. But did you have a conversation with your partner before deciding to commit to this relationship about what each of you expected in terms of exclusivity? If not, THERE is your problem. His boundary is not the same as yours. If neither of you are willing or able to compromise on this then your relationship is not viable.

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You have every right to he upset. You specifically talked to him about it and told him you’re not ok with it. He needs to respect that. And don’t ever excuse his behavior because you were not in the mood. We’re not sex slaves, you’re allowed to turn him down. It doesn’t give him the right to do something he knows you’re not ok with.

Porn sure whatever, only fans absolutely not for a married commited man with kids. Wtf is his problem?

It is all about respect. I send my hubby pics and videos of me as well as porn pics and videos. Our rule is that we only watch porn together unless I send it to him. We have the same rule about strip clubs. We only go together. So if he isn’t respecting you and your boundaries, that is a serious problem. Respect is essential to a relationship.

P*** is okay onlyfans is a definite not

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I’m just curious as to why you said you think the OF is cheating but also mention that you aren’t allowed to have one… so if you were able to would that still be cheating?

He pays for porn? :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

Talking about how you feel shouldn’t equal a fight. You should be able to express yourself with out it meaning a fight is gonna happen
You can control the words you use when you tell him what’s upsetting you but you cant control his reaction and if you’re worried about his reaction than that’s a bigger issue to focus on imho