PRAY. What if God doubted your attitude about forgiveness. The devil is the one bringing up the past.
Christian counseling for both of you and individually. If you want this to work out then you need that and you need it to be faith based as well.
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Allow yourself to feel all of this and let how you feel at the end … guide you. It won’t be you breaking up your family. He did that. Grieve. Be mad. Feel it!! And once you’re at a better level headed place then decide. My ex told me now we’re married you can’t be mad it sure Andy happened. That hurt worse.
Try counciling. But here’s the thing if you are gonna try and forgive and forget them do just that. Don’t bring it up all the time. Do some soul searching and see if you could really be happy moving forward if the trust can be rebuilt. Rebuilding trust is so hard. Sometimes though it’s worth it. I truly wish you the best.
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I would make his life a living hell, and see if I’m worth it enough to change. That’s what I did. I’m not going to explain the ways he changed, but he sure did change. He never went that far, either. It got real for him, though. Don’t put up with it, make sure he’s not doing anything behind your back, make him earn your trust.
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It’s the lies for me. Me and my man have been together for almost 9 yrs now. In the beginning I caught him a couple times. But I’m the type of woman that I know that sometimes someone needs a change or just a little spice. I told him he ever needs something more then just tell me, and I like to have fun with woman too, so it was a win win for both. It doesn’t happen often we do this but when it does our relationship grows stronger
If he hasn’t cheated in 16 years and treated you good, I think its ok to let it slide. That’s ridiculous to be mad about something that happened 16 years ago.
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Sorry but he ain’t doing all the stuff for you he is doing it for himself so he feels less guilty.
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See, I would’ve busted him upside his head and had to beg the Lord for forgiveness later. 
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Anddddd now I’m on my way to FB jail for violence again. 
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First of all I’m going to say this is the first and only story I’ve read on Facebook where he voluntarily admitted the truth and not because you saw text messages or busted him or whatever… So that’s huge to me
Maybe get some counseling to help you work through the feelings.
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Just let it go… u are born again but it seems like u cant forgive him while Your Religion says u should forgive???
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Every situation is different. Some relationships can withstand cheating based on shared interests including children. But cheating is a highly selfish decision. It doesn’t make someone “all bad” but it does indicate someone who is able to deceive without regard for the harm it might cause to the trust with a partner or their family. The fact that he waited until you were finally married to come clean makes it worse, IMO. Being Christian or born-again neither excuses nor protects a relationship from the behavior. I worked in family law for awhile and there was plenty of abuse, addiction, cheating and divorce happening between religious partners as well. We can forgive others yet still decide someone is not safe to fully trust in again. Only you can make that call.
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I’m starting to think that, no man is capable of being faithful, at all.
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I suggest if you want to stay marriage counseling and if it’s not something you can ever forgive leave because it will make your life miserable
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If you cant move past it you have to move on…
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Counseling for sure and you’re going to have to decide if moving past it is really what you want and if you can trust him again.
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Do you have to be told leave
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I’d probably tell him I want a divorce. If he was doing all that behind your back and still being the way he was, you’ll never know if he is cheating now, or you’ll always think he still is. Counseling or divorce. That’s crazy. What kind of man does that, disgusting.
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I’m sorry this happened BUT I personally could forgive but not forget. It would NEVER be the same again. I would constantly be looking behind my back and that’s not a way to live. Just my opinion.
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I wonder how many women would think they died and went to heaven with your guy. York him a while to grow, didn’t it???
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Honestly I know easier said than done but I would leave … the feeling of hurt isn’t going to go away … the feeling of bitterness & if you chose to stay and be unhappy then you’re cheating yourself…
Get counseling and give him one more chance if you can find a way to forgive him, it is very hard to do
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I have no advice for you. There is no way in heck I would just try to move on after finding out about multiple cheats. He did this for years without giving himself away even a little… he’s a good liar.
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Can you seek counseling through your church? Sounds like he confessed because his faith has changed the person he was, and if that’s the case maybe you both can turn to the church for help. Forgiveness is something they tend to teach well. And you have some very heavy stuff you have to sort though. It’s completely understandable why you feel like you do.
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I have been here before, and it was too hard to get over. It tore my heart out; made me miserable and someone I am not. I don’t want to feel like I have to go thru someone’s stuff, etc. I stayed for a few years, but he just continued to cheat. I wasted all that time. This is just my personal story, and I hope things work out better for you!
You have to forgive him, if you are a born again Christian, but that doesn’t mean you will forget, as time goes by it will get easier,
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You do what’s best for you and your peace… no one can tell you how to handle it but you
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go to your pastor and seek counciling. Is my advice.
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If your a truly born again Christian u should understand his confession…he feels to be born again he needs to clear his past to start new…you should be able to for give him and start your new life together …if not it’s time to part ways u will never survive on thinking about his past turn him loose and you Bothwell be happier
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It’s in the past. LEAVE IT THERE.
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I would suggest counseling before leaving
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Only you can make this decision l would say do what is best for you and pray about it the Lord can work miracles if you let him into your heart God Bless
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Marriage counseling. Through the church since that’s your religion. Hope it all works out
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I dont know how you feel about 3 ways but I would want that person actually in the room so I could ask about sexual history, but you were repeatedly denied that right, get tested – remain skeptical
Once trust is broken in it cannot be fixed.you can forgive him but everytime he bring you flowers you will be suspicious, late coming home ,make you a bubble bath . anything and everything he does for you now you will always forever have that tickle in your mind .did he ? I personally could not live with that mistrust tickle
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Am not married nor have I ever been but I was with a guy for 5yrs I have a daughter to a previous relationship and I was pregnant with our son at the time and he cheated
Also then found out he cheated all through our 5yr relationship and I found out the more I forgave the more he done and less respect & love he had for me
But yes when I didn’t know I was treated like a queen thought I struck gold as he would also rub candle light bubble baths
Buy me flowers and chocolates spoil me even do breakfast in bed alot
And save to get married all while he was playing away then when I found it I got shouted at be littles told I was a phyco control freak woah I was dead the lot
So I got out and now he is begging me back NOPE no can do
But he does still help financially and has set up a direct debit with our son’s name as the reference so I know it’s weekly maintenance for anything my son may need Wich helps alot but as for talking we oy talk purely about our son NOTHING else atal or I will shit the conversation down and ignore until he realises I will only discuss our son with him I ain’t interested in anything else.
Good luck with whatever you chose to do xx
If your into religion turn it over to God. Nothing more the devil hates than to lose
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When a foundation is built on solid ground it can stand through anything. When the foundation gets cracked it will eventually faulter and crumble. Your foundation was trust based. He broke that. Now you have to decide. Are you going to stay knowing in the back of your mind he betrayed you and it may possibly happen again? Or are you going to move on and grow from this on your own? You can do all the counseling you like, but in the back of your mind that betrayal will linger tainting the joy that is supposed to be your relationship. If you can live with it stay…If not, then start making moves to go …
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Leave. End of. You deserve better. How do you know this isn’t continuing? You don’t. How do you know being a Christian has changed him? You don’t. Never settle for less than your worth. Keeping a family together is the wrong reason to stay with a man that doesn’t love you and respect you. I’ve just left a situation similar.
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You can’t have it both ways. You want him to come clean but you’re pissed that he did. I thought a Christian was a forgiving person. If that’s not the case maybe he’s not the man for you. Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck.
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When was young I always said if my husband ever cheated I would leave. After years of being together and children in the picture its not so black and white. He sounds like a great guys and great with the kids. It is your decision, of course but think long and hard of your life without him.
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God forgives and you should
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I think he loves you with all his …but he made a mistake. Take it to God.
You need counseling. If he’s 98% great, but you can only see the cheat… either you live with it or NOT.
Has he done it since? If not then leave it alone. And I can tell you right now having to start dating after this will be very difficult. My suggestion is if he’s a really great man and that’s the only blip he did then in the grand scheme of things that should not determine your marriage going forward
If you are a born again Christian forgive. You won’t forget but forgive. And ask God to help you through this. Read the word of God and use your Bible. He made a mistake and wanted to come clean so you can live a faithful life now through Christ. It’s going to take time but you can do this. He sounds like an amazing man. And the fact he came clean does say a lot. Most men who take that to their grave. God forgives and provides grace and mercy. Seak the Lord together and build back better amd stronger then before
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I’m a situation like this the only thing you can do is wait one day you’ll wake up and know if you want to be with him, it could be a year from now you wake up and just know he’s not what you want anymore. You just found out so you need time. But if you do stay I strongly suggest married counseling!
Sounds like he wanted to clear his conscience at your expense. You have to decide if you can live with it. Best of luck.
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Give it to God, and pray about it.
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You decide to let it go and not throw it in his face continually and be happy. Or move on. Best of luck to you.
You said you are born again. So pray on it. Not just one time. Pray all of the time. Pray out loud. Say those things you need to say. Leave room for forgiveness so that one day you can forgive him and move forward. If not then you are also trying to use a broken foundation for your family. He is either worth the trouble, or he isn’t.
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Cheating is a choice not a mistake. Lying is a choice not a mistake. I would leave. If my husband can come home every night look me in the eyes, lie to me knowing what he did. Then what else is he lying about and how many times have he cheated. Because it’s obviously not just once.
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Seek out a Christian counselor that is truly biblically based, go to individual and couples counseling and then decide on what you should do.
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My advice is your husband had told you the truth about hes infinity. It was up to you there and now too make that decision. Its not easy telling the truth or except .sometimes it better not too know.but its good hes told you the truth.born again Christian its all about forgiveness. It’s really up to you to either go forward in life. Carry on with your marriage and work on it.or end it. You have a choice .best off luck and God bless use both u and your family .
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Pray, counseling for you. Remember God forgives
We can’t change the past. We forgive our children. Your faith is based on faith and forgiveness. He told you not let you hear it from the grapevine
Hard as it is, let it go New belief, new beginning being
To me the answer falls within how he helps you cope, heal, and move on. He done the right thing telling you and allowing you to have the chance to forgive him or not. Anything less, denied you of your right to handle the truth and forgive if you want. Pray without ceasing! God can restore anything. You may need couples counseling… you need your space (not saying separation) I am saying space and time to learn, process, accept, forgive and decide what you want to do. I will say biblically you are in the right if you chose to stay or go. That makes it a harder decision. Christian’s also have the right to walk away. You can forgive and not be able to stay. You say leaving isn’t what you want. So, I encourage you to pray and ask God to take the uneasy feelings away.
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Leave it on the past .where it belongs yes your hurt but you said he’s a great husband u mite not be able to forget but learn to forgive him he sounds like you have a great man don’t let it spoil your love for each other xx
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I would go to marriage counseling and see if the relationship was salvageable
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It sounds to me like he loves you. but before he committed his life to god he was living a messed up life that he wasn’t happy with either give him a chance. If he sneaks back to his old ways show him the curb.
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It’s in the past Forgive
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I would go to marriage counseling.
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Stay because there is nothing better out there & just keep praying to find peace in your heart, in time it will be better & you’ll
Be glad u stayed , you will never forget but time & prayers will get u thought
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If you won’t be able to trust him moving forward you need to leave. If u can’t push past it then you are bound to resent him and things will go south at that point.
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Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
2 Corinthians 5:17
If he is willing to grow in Christ and obviously not do it again, stick it out, allow God to heal both of you and walk in the new person you are in Christ. A marriage center in Christ is worth it!! 
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Forgiveness is for you, not for them. My advice, go talk to your pastor.
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He lied before you were married. He did not own up to his cheating until you were married. I’m guessing he thought you would not marry him if you knew how he really is. 16 years of playing 2 rolls is a long time. If tempted again, he will cheat.
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Fuck someone else immediately. Infidelity goes both ways.
Christ forgives so we must forgive others. Marriage is a sacred vow between the 2 of you & God…With love, you can get through this. I will pray for you & your marriage
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I would talk to my Pastor or Priest because you are both Reborn. Which means a clean slate. He’s asked for forgiveness. Jesus says to forgive others as He has forgiven us. You need to pray for strength to be able to do that. Sit down with your husband and pour out you feelings. It will help you heal and grow in a stronger relationship with him. Y’all need counseling as well. Communication is a key to a strong relationship. God bless.
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Therapy for him therapy for you and couples therapy
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Forget it breaking up for cheating. Is a mistake there are so many bigger things like hitting you or treating you with no respect He trusted you to tell you it hurt but you can get by this
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You have been lied to for years!!! Follow your religion if that’s what you choose but if you can’t shake it then it won’t change you will leave eventually
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One thing to remember is when you give your heart to Jesus you become a new creation you’re not the same person you were before so forgive and know that he is a new creation in Christ and it’s good that he was honest with you
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If you truly want to stay a family it’s going to take a LONG time and a LOT of effort , on his part mostly. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It took me over a year to fully move past something like that in my family. It’s okay to be angry, you were betrayed, but it’s also important to work towards forgiving him eventually if you want to be together.
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I would be so gone lol
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Nah that’s a deal breaker. You stick your shit in somebody else and I’m out 
Don’t let the Devil steal you guys happiness.
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When I was cheated on in 2013/2014 I would get flowers all the time before I found out. Those flowers were definitely guilty conscience flowers. 
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That’s tough. Pray about it.
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Trust needs to be re- established. You need to process. You need to decide what he needs to do for you to trust him again. Individual counseling for yourself to process -and marital counseling to move forward to build a stronger relationship and discover why relationship was vulnerable.
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I’m sorry but I don’t understand why people tell on themselves about this kind of stuff when all it’s gonna do is cause problems. It’s like if you’ve changed then just don’t ever do it again. Why hurt someone by telling them unnecessary stuff that is gonna do nothing but bad for the other person. Born again or not makes no sense!! I think when someone tells on themself about stuff like this it’s in the spur of the moment probably feeling a little euphoric but not realizing the damage it’s gonna cause. Think long and hard before telling on yourself. I’m not condoning this behavior at all, but I mean if you already did it, and feel guilty……then change and don’t do it again!
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Honey counseling for sure. Sometimes they can help u find ways of seeing things differently or ways to work thru them. Very sorry for your heart for sure, but sometimes we need help to handle things that we cannot alone…sending u big strength
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I’m sorry but that’s a real d*ck move on his part to wait to tell you after you got married! Relationships are built on trust and he has broken yours, counseling is your best bet.
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Get out now! Fuck him and his women, trust me on this. It will eat at your soul and you’ll always be questioning his every move, over thinking and questioning your worth! Move on. Je does those things because he’s over compensating, bribing you almost. Get out or this will be the rest of life.
Forgive him and trust God to turn his heart around and PRAY
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From your description. You both lived in sin. Pray that God will forgive you both.
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Forgive one of the biggest salvation
I think he just did the born again Christian thing to make you think he wasn’t hiding and he kept that information hidden from you so he could trap you by marrying you first. He committed to being unfaithful and lying to your repeatedly, he’s already proven that you can’t trust him. Once you know your partner has cheated you will never fully trust them again and you’ll always have those doubts, relationships don’t work without trust
I’d leave his cheating lying ass. He cheated not once but twice!!!
I would get professional counseling for you and together for your marriage. Once you work through the pain , you will know your answer and find your way. It will be work to leave and work to stay. But get the professional help you need. Blessings.
It’s in the past he nor you can change it. Either get your heart and head set to love him enough to put it in the past or if you can’t love him enough to do that then it’ll never work anyway, believe me, I’ve been there and had counciling to get there.
It’s a tough spot to be in. I understand how you feel. I guess you need to ask yourself are you better person with or w/o him. Counseling would also help
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Try counseling! I know it hurts so so so sooo badly! But you were placed where you were for a reason. I dont belive in God but my grandma always said “God dont put you through things you can’t handle.” It makes me also think of the poem about the foot prints in the sand. Do some praying, seek some counseling. Good luck!
Look into seeing a councillor/therapist. This stuff needs to be dealt with in a healthy way.