What would you if your kids dad had a baby on you?

Short Backstory , my kids father and I have known each other literally our whole lives and been on and off for over 10 years he was always supposedly inlove " with me our whole child hood and now as adults we have a child together but mind you he had child before even before her before we ever got together as teenagers , well while on a break he got some girl pregnant and now they have a child together , would you go back and deal with it ? I'm like so heartbroken about it Idk if i can accept that especially how bad me and the new bm don't get along she is disgusting and she threatens me and my child , HIS child all because he wants to be with me . Would you ladies deal with the extra drama and child or should've I jus finally except the fact it happened and move on ? It even stops me from wanting another child because I'm so embrassed to have kids inbetween and didn't want different kids fathers but I feel I'm being selfish , any help ?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What would you if your kids dad had a baby on you?

If he really wanted to be with you, he would be, jumping around and having kids with different women is not “wanting to be with you”

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No I wouldn’t waste my time. Also you’ve been on again off again for ten years, that’s not love, that’s just not wanting to be alone between flings, and going back to the easiest thing. You have a child with him, so stop letting your child see what an unstable and toxic relationship is and learn to be happy single until you find someone stable.

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He will do it again on y’all next break. All that extra is not worth the energy.

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It seems your entire relationship has been on and off. He had a relationship or just relations while you were once again on a break. You cant hold it against him for seeing someone when you’re not together. Now he has another child…that means your child has a sibling(like it or not) if you’re going to be crazy enough to stay in this relationship that’s been on and off since childhood then you’ve got to accept what happened. If you’re not going to stay in it then you still have to accept the fact he has another kid…so when he has the kid that’s belongs to y’all over then he might have his other child over. As far as the other mom…get over it…she hasn’t done anything with him that you haven’t done. It’s been far too long move on.

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If people are ready for a true relationship they would find a mentally mature partner and do the marrage right. Anyone not willing to marry you IS NOT YOUR FUTURE

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Why would you want an unstable home for your child???

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Ask yourself do you want your child thinking this is ok and how relationships work? If you say no I don’t want my child doing this then why put up with it for yourself

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Same situation happened to me we were celebrating our son death date and that same night hooked up with a chick got her pregnant tried being together but the other baby mama made it impossible. It never worked out. Finally left him and found the perfect man who I’m about to marry. I took it as a sign from god.

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God sounds toxic
No id move on and enjoy a peaceful life
drama free relationship
let them enjoy eachother

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I wouldn’t waste my time.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What would you if your kids dad had a baby on you?

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So he already had a kid, then had a kid with you, then had a kid with A third woman?

From past experience these “on again off again“ relationships, don’t work, there’s a reason it keeps going “off again“

drop him, put him on child support, coparent, move on and find someone who will value you and your child instead of leaving, running around with other women, and keeping you available in the background, to come back as they please leaving new babies in their wake.

(and considering it sounds like he keeps coming in and out of your life, I would 10,000% suggest NOT having a second baby with this person)

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Fmd he playing the field :woman_facepalming::rofl:

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Hahahhahaha ! Noooo go get with his dad . Don’t ever go back

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Yikes. I would not go back.

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He sounds like a real prize :woozy_face:

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Move on, you don’t want a mess like that following you around for the rest of your life. There will be another pregnant woman on your next break as well

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Throw his ass out the door

tell him to get lost

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Move on! Actually RUN!

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Got a headache just reading this. Leave all that drama behind.

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I had an ex like that. Dated on and off for years, since high school. During an off period he got someone else pregnant. She got a little crazy and he left her. Me and him got married a few months later. It very much did not work out for me. He wended up back with her. They got married and had another kid, and are now also divorced… And I remarried someone else and now have two kids with him and I’m very happy and content now. I personally would just move on…

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He’s a sleazebag. Leave.

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He’s a player! Don’t have anymore kids. Grow up leave him alone and concentrate on you a and your child

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If she keeps threatening you guys, call the police on her!!!:cry::cry::cry::hushed::hushed::hushed::hushed::pray::pray::pray::purple_heart::purple_heart::purple_heart:

You all need to stop making babies……

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Run and don’t look back. Think of your daughter. You don’t want her to think that this is ok. Would you want her to be in your shoes?

I did it and I have had a great man and another baby… It’s always hard in the beginning,trust me years later you’ll be like why didn’t I leave sooner.

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Don’t go back !! That’s a deal breaker.

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byeeeee let her keep the trash

Do you love him? If you love him then you need to decide… Its not the childs fault.
Why not stay w your daughters father if you love him? Your daughter deserves both parents.
If you do not love him, let him go but do not cut him out of your daughters life if you do not stay together…

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Some things you just have to realize are unforgivable! The other woman is going to be a NIGHTMARE (more than likely) and everytime you & him disagree, she will be there waiting for him with open arms. But honestly, that’s not even the point. God has shown you this man is not the person he chose for you or you would not be hurting! Love does NOT hurt!
Move on!

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Kick him to the curb

No. U have to let him go. It’s hard. It hurts. He’s obvi a safe place for u cuz uve known him forever. But that pain of him impregnation someone else will never go away. And the new bm WILL ALWAYS try and ruin ur happiness. Let them BOTH know you’re not interested, you’ve chosen to decline his advances. She will know she’s second choice. And he will have to live with what he did.
YOU HAVE TO GO. FOR YOU SWEETHEART.
Similar situation here. 10yrs. No extra child. But a cheat none the less a betrayal

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My youngest father has 2 kids with his ex or current gf , I can never know when they get back. But he was on a break with her got with me. Was “in love” we made a baby and then he cheated and I found out. So I left him and bow he just came 2 days ago to finally meet his son who is 6 months because he would rather be with his ex who let’s him treat herike trash. I didn’t allow it so he says “I never loved him” no I just don’t have time for BS!

She threatened you and your child? Get a restraining order and contact the police. Also he doesn’t sound like a great guy so leave his ass

A baby is a baby. There’s no changing its existence because it reminds you of your ex’s problems… if you can’t get past that, then you owe it to both your child and his others not to pursue this relationship any further. If you were on a break, you dont get to decide what he does and vice versa. And if you can’t deal with your jealousy over another child, then it’s not healthy. If you harbor this resentment and jealousy, you have no place being in a relationship with his/her father, as that discontent is only going to grow. Nobody wins if you do this. These feelings will eat at you. Not for you. Not for your child. Just stay away and coparent, and find someone else, who commits, even when things get hard and works through them rather than running to another woman like a scared little boy. That’s not a partner, and he’s sure as not marriage material. He’s a f*ck boy, and that’s what he runs around doing. And you’re mad cuz he’s showing you who he is? Girl. Be grateful this happened! Now that you know, you can quit repeating the cycle.

I’m sorry first of all !! Second if u stay with him the drama will never stop with this other girl !!! I would kick his ass out of your life !!! Not the child’s life just yours!!

You both sound immature and the relationship sounds toxic.

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You said yourself that yall have been off and on the whole relationship, so he didn’t “have a baby on you”. You are his old standby and you are hanging on to something that is not there. Leave and get yourself together. Then make your heart available someone who will commit fully to you.

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Defo wouldn’t get back together no way in hell

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Nah he doesn’t wanna be with you or he would not be out making babies. You’re a comfort thing he gets to have when he’s finished doing what he wants. Over 10 yes and still on this BS?

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“All because he wants to be with me”
no he does not. Youre just the one who lets him do whatever and you still let him come back.

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This same exact situation happened to me with the love of my life and I choose to let him go. Like I explained to him I accepted everything you were when I met you and everything you came with but I will not accept you creating a child after the fact. It’s too much drama and it’s not worth me losing my peace. I loved him but I love me and my peace more. If he loved you back, he would have never gotten himself in that position to begin with. Men know exactly what they do and who they wanna do it with. No excuses.

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He would have put a ring on it if he loved you.
Don’t allow your daughter to watch you be a doormat.

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Being on and off is already a sign to not have another baby by him. Why bring another child into this mess. Just leave before it ends up worse.

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Being selfish is thinking of having another kid when you already have a player for Baby Daddy!

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Just go. Save your dignity.

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Seriously? You’re short changing yourself. Why would you even want a man out there having unprotected sex as soon as yall split up? Yuck. Get some self worth and self respect and save yourself from all the B.S.

Not worth the drama!

I wouldn’t even entertain being around for him. If you and him have been on again off again for soooo many years why hasn’t he made a commitment to you. You have a baby together, yes, but that’s it. He’ll be in the honeymoon stage possibly for quite some time so don’t be that door mat waiting around whenever he feels like being intimate with someone else, meaning you. You also have to consider the fact that she sounds like some kind of maniac and you should be concerned for the health and welfare of you and your child. You seriously need to move on. From this vein I can see that most people are of the same opinion.

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Fuck no. Let her have him.

Quick note also, i may seem like the dude in your sitcho (earlier comment) but there is no need to be embarrassed if u move on and have another child with someone else eventually… 9 years difference between my 2 girls… still blood and sisters.

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Tf?! … I think you know that you need to drop this dude. (Like not literally, just relationship wise) :joy:

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No… it seems like he sees you as a backup not a true partner or love. I would let him go

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Nope I wouldn’t go back, f*** that.
My baby dad said he has wanted me for 3 years and finally got me. I got pregnant and he slept with another girl 2-3 months in. Forgave him and he did it two more times, two different girls. Our relationship is ruined. There is no trust. Last week he just went an hour and a half away to hang with a girl and already moved.
I told him if he gets another girl pregnant I am gone for good because I am currently pregnant with our second and due 11/11 smh.

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You’re one half of a ridiculous mess.

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So I’ve been in the exact same situation. Me and the other BM now get along great and I love both her and the child. BUT our relationship didn’t make it. We tried really hard and I couldn’t completely let go of what happened. About 6 months after he and I decided to split and I found out I was pregnant with our daughter (we were NOT trying) he and I now co parent amazing and I’m happily married to another man but like I said I personally just could never get over the betrayal

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Nope. I walked. Grateful I did. 14 years later and seeing how he turned out I have zero regrets.

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He doesn’t want to be with you. He just doesn’t want you to be with anyone else. :disappointed_relieved: Walk away and never look back.

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No. I would not deal with it… and I’m sorry you are.

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Y’all weren’t even together so technically he didn’t “have a baby on you”. You weren’t together so he had every right to be with someone else wether or not a baby came out of the relationship. I wouldn’t go back for the simple fact y’all have been on and off for sooo long. If it was going to work out it would have by now. Also BM threatening you and him not doing anything about it. She can keep that garbage. Open your eyes and get out of the cycle now.

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Umm 10 years on and off is already alot of drama that I wouldn’t have dealt with this far. Yall just need to go separate ways, or be adults and sit down and see what you both want and try to figure out how yall going to deal with it together…

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Too much drama, move on!

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Life you were broken up can’t be mad. You just have to decide if you can love the child or not.

I mean you shouldn’t really be mad about the kid cause y’all weren’t together. Unless he knew he got her pregnant and lied to you about it or hid the baby and you found out about it by mistake he didn’t “have a baby on you”. He can be with whoever on his time when y’all are “on a break”
It’s been 10 years and y’all are still on and off- so no I wouldn’t go back and deal with it. If he was serious about you you wouldn’t be on and off and would probably at the least be engaged.
If she’s threatened you and your child get a restraining order.

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Tell Him to hit the road

No I wouldn’t go back and deal with that he shown exactly how he felt by going with another woman and accidentally knocking her up.

Let the kids no each other but no I wouldn’t be back to that nope my worth is to high

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Anyone who would even ask this question, is some kind of stupid !!! Have another baby with him, :joy::joy:, so desperate for a man.

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Girl what??? 10 years of going back n forth? Give yourself & your kid a break & leave him alone.

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If you really love him, it’s not that eazy to walk. Sounds like you both were really young when this child was created. Just learn to love his child, everyone has drama.

Some of yall are some real “see you next Tuesdays”.

Anyway OP: YIKES, Girl, you know deep down that this isn’t the way it should be. If you keep going back to this man, your child is gonna grow up in the midst of drama and unhealthy and toxic relationships.
The relationship needs to be done, and you and the other baby mothers need to figure out how to get along and co parent. Take some parenting classes.
Good luck!

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Technically he didn’t do anything wrong. Y’all were on a “break”. I’m sure you had sex with others, maybe didn’t result in a baby. Sounds like you and him would rather be miserable together than see each other move on.

Move on. This is too much drama

Too much Drama
Leave

Please love yourself more than u love him… you can’t keep eating your vomit. I bet u prayed to God to show u a way forward and boom came a baby. Its time to move on. So many years and no formal commitment just cheating on each other because we are not together at the moment. Stop bringing other people in your mess and yes the other women won’t like u. U are taking her man/baby daddy away​:woman_facepalming:t5::woman_shrugging:t5: now u can’t have more kids because you are embarrassed. Shouldn’t u leave him cause u are embarrassed someone will love and care fore u better babe :100::fire:

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If you have to question it then walk away from it.

Having kids with different dad’s doesn’t make them grow up less like siblings. I and all of my other siblings had different dad’s (my mom had 2 from a previous marriage and my dad had one when they had me) and I love all of my siblings equally. I would leave and find someone that treats you right. Life is too short to deal with drama

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Sounds like too much drama

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No way,tell him goodbye, your child does not need this drama

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If you were on a break nothing I can say BUT threatening ur child is a no no now that would be my priority not him having another kid im just sayin

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On and off for 10 years and you want to go back???

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I wouldn’t want to be second best… run as fast as you can!!

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Being selfish by not wanting another child? You have three. If he wants to be with you, he should marry you and he should deal with the baby mama.

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No. That boy is NOT worth your energy. You need to cut him out of your love life and learn to love yourself enough to get over him. You will need to coparent with him and facilitate your child’s relationships with their siblings. But beyond that, turn him loose.

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Why would you be embarrassed to have more kids? People get married, have kids, get divorced, get remarried, and have more kids. It’s the same things just with extra steps😂 I’m not laughing at you or the situation in the slightest. I feel like you’re being too hard on yourself. You’re allowed to have feelings and make choices and then change your mind when those choices don’t work out the way you thought they would. You’re human. Throw his ass out with the trash and live your best life

He probably plays all his baby mamas & you allow it.

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And…this is why its toxic and unhealthy to do breaks…either y’all are all the way in…or all the way out.period. Now their is a entirely different dynamic brought into the mess because grown people made juvenile decisions and theres another poor baby stuck in the middle if dysfunction.

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Typically if it’s on and off like that it never lasts. Good luck!

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1800 CALL MAURY

Seriously though, I’m sure he’s saying the same lines to her and she may not be the only other. You’re not married and he’s acting like a child so, why put your child in that toxic ass environment?

Too much drama for me. :woman_shrugging: I wouldn’t have taken him back after I found out he got someone else pregnant though. The “break” thing to me is stupid anyways, like middle school/high school stupid. If you need a break just break up because you shouldn’t be stepping out on your relationship with the person you love :woman_shrugging: my opinion.

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Well CLEARLY he doesn’t want to be with u if he’s getting another girl pregnant…make it make sense

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I couldn’t forgive that.

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Move on u deserve better

He doesn’t want to be with you. If he did… he would be. This 10 years on and off is Middle and High school behavior and the fact that you are allowing it. Is teaching your daughter that this type of relationship is ok! He had another baby with another girl ( I say girl because no woman acts like that). Look at the girl he chose!! He’s stringing you along and has been for years. There is no relationship… you’re convenient. He doesn’t respect you at all. Point proven… 10 years on and off. And your daughter sees that. You are teaching your daughter by example… stop with bringing another child into it! You need to get yourself right for your daughter’s sake. Ask yourself this- Do you like the example you’re setting for your daughter?? Is that the type of relationship you want your daughter to have when she gets older?

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you need to do some self-care, he’s done got your mind warped!!
(All because he wants to be with me) NO because if he wanted to be with you he would not have a baby with another woman!! You’re like his Plan B, I know it’s got to be hard being someone standby,! Please find your worth!

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Well that “extra child” as you say is your child’s sibling so suck it tf up and grow up.

Uh u were on break so if u wanna be with him accept it and move on. If you are asking what to do you know the answer is to get up n go… to much baby mama drama it sounds like…

Really, this has to be made up