When should I tell my son?

I have just found out that my eleven year old son has a one year old half brother. The father of my child did not know about the baby as the girl told him she was getting an abortion. I was the one to relay the news of his second child. She has not been able to reach him in the ten months she's been trying as he moved, changed his number, and does not use Facebook in the two years since she got pregnant and kept it . After looking into him she found me last night and sent a message. My son and her son look identical when mine was his age. His father does not want to be involved in this new child's life; doesn't even want to see a picture. He will be doing a paternity test next week because the girl put another guy's name on the birth certificate and is now fighting for custody which for whatever reason, she doesn't want to happen. I feel I owe it to my son for him to have a relationship with his brother. My son's father doesn't want our son to know because he feels as though then he will have to be involved as well and asking me to please not tell our son and to just forget it ever happened. My question is when should I tell my son? How do I tell him, what do I say? If my son is involved in his brother's life and their father is not it will really confuse my son and I know he would bring up the baby to his dad. The brother and his mom live about an hour away from us. Please help. Also in years to come I think it would potentially negativity affect my son's half brother if my son was in his life but not their father.
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Wait until you know for sure that it’s his kid before you do anything. If it’s his, talk with mom about how to proceed. The kids deserve to know each other, even if dad isn’t involved with one of them.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. When should I tell my son?

I think the father of these children is the issue. Hope horrible for him to grow up and to know his father did not want him.

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It is never the children’s fault and they shouldn’t have to suffer bc of adult’s mistakes. If it is his brother then he deserves to know him.

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The other child is not yours. If the father says no respect that. This women already sounds like she’s out to cause drama. She didn’t want the father involved until it’s convenient for her. He doesn’t want to be involved for a reason. Let him make this choice. He may change his mind later but for now it’s his choice

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I say if ur getting along with the other child’s mother then set things up with her and let y’all’s kids build a relationship with each other. If he doesn’t want to be involved with the other kid that’s on him and she’s shitty for it but u can’t make him🤷🏻‍♀️

Your son 100 percent has a right to know he has a blood relative out there.

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Wait to make sure… child belongs to your ex. And let the children visit each other.

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An 11 year old isn’t ever gonna be close with a child this small especially with not even knowing this baby was gonna exist… I would tell your son about him but I highly doubt any relationship will happen.

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Age appropriately I would just be honest x

Wait for the paternity test to come back before making any decisions like telling yalls son,especially bc if he is the dad the girl might just be trying to prove it so she can get child support from him which obviously if that happens and he gets rights being his actual father he could always sign them away and be free of it … As for the dad it’s his right I guess to choose not to have anything to do with the other kid if he so chooses but cannot say the same for the son y’all share but if it comes back his and you tell him and y’all become apart of his life just leave the dad out of any dealings with him if he is so adamant about having nothing to do with him that way yalls son can have a relationship with his half sibling ,your mind can be at ease , and the dad won’t have to deal with it .

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I say tell him. My son has brothers from his “dads” side (he’s 9) and one of the older ones he’s super close with(he’s 12) and I’m close with the mom. Form a relationship with her if you can, but go slow because you never know her true intentions either.

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I hope your child’s father is being referred to as such bc you aren’t together any longer bc he sounds like a terrible person if he’s willing to just walk out of a babies life like that. Wait for paternity and then bring it up. He is old enough to understand.

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Your son has every right to know now about his little brother! It’s selfish to keep that from him! And it sounds like the father of these two boys is a piece of crap to not want your son to know about his little brother , let alone not wanting nothing to do with his child! U need to tell ur son and allow those two boys to have a relationship because if u don’t in the long run your son may hold it against u when he finds out u didn’t tell him about it

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Verify with paternity test. Then, YES by All means TELL HIM it will come out eventually
I Have a half sister I grew up not getting to have a relationship with, now at 58 and 50 trying to establish a relationship
Sperm donor is a :triangular_flag_on_post: coward

It’s not up to you but if the others child’s mother is ok with them meeting then go for it! If she’s full of drama then I wouldn’t bother. It will hurt your child in the long run.

Wait and tell him in later years. It’s easier to be honest and real when they can understand better

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Tough one, but why not just befriend the other woman & arrange playdates as friends…? That way the children can know each other, and u can tell them the truth when they’re older. Or just keep conversation open with the other woman until the kids are older. Idk, the father is being very irresponsible, & its the children who will suffer. But wait for paternity before deciding, if it is indeed his child, I’m sure she’ll tell the child who his Dad is regardless if he’s in the picture or not, and that he has a brother. So honestly, it’s prob best to just let the children know each other to avoid future heartache.

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Wait for the paternity test. If he is your sons brother i would definitely try to have contact

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I would let your son know. With social media and everything he will def find out at some point in his life and will ask you questions that you probably won’t want to answer. Your ex having a problem is something that doesn’t add up. The child is innocent. He’s taking out his negative emotions on his child and not the mother, which is wrong.

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You can’t control what the father does. I would wait for the paternity test and if it is indeed his tell your son about it. See if he wants any relationship with his half brother. If not I wouldn’t force it.

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My son has a sister who is 8 weeks older then him. My sons father originally did not want my son to know and Vice versa. As my son has gotten older he has started to ask questions regarding his dad. (The dad and I are not together) I was as open an honest with him based on his age level. I am grateful I did because a couple of years ago his dad came back in the picture to have a relationship with my son. That has lead my son to meet his sister.

I feel being honest in an age appropriate way is always the way to go.

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So he’s totally cool with abandoning his child? What kind of man does that?

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I would tell my son that you just found out he has a baby brother. I really do think that kids should get to know their siblings regardless of what the dad decides about seeing him

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I would first see if this is his brother, then I would tell him…every child should know they have a sibling out there… it’s up to you mom’s to arrange times. The father, it’s up to him to choose to have a relationship. However, this woman can ask for child support. I think… good luck.

I would talk to the mother. I do see the concern about the younger boy being upset that his father didn’t want him. My nephew has the same issue. He has a dad now who loves him! He said once that he doesn’t know his dad. I changed the wording. He doesn’t know his father. He does know his dad. I reminded him that he has a lot of people who love him.

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I think that your child will react how you react. Having a sibling is exciting. It shouldn’t be an issue! Make it happy for him and try to connect with the mother!

I would wait until the paternity test comes back and it’s official. but your son has every right to know his sibling and to be involved with him regardless of how deadbeat the dad wants to be. he just doesn’t want the son involved because it will make him look even worse. once the paternity test comes back, I would just sit down and have that discussion with him. just be straight forward and honestly answer his questions as unbiased as you can. if he brings it up to his dad so what? that’s on his dad to explain why he’s being a deadbeat to a kid he helped make 🤷 nothing good ever comes from keeping stuff like this secret

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Wait for the test results. But if positive, your son every right to know and will HATE you later in life if you lie to him, as he should. :fu:t2: to the sperm donor regardless

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Plain and simple, not your kid, none of your business…it’s up to the father to make that decision, NOT YOU!!!

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I have a half brother that I found last year, and I’m 75. I’m so sorry I didn’t know about him sooner!

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Definitely wait for the results of the paternity test first. You can’t control the father if he doesn’t want to be involved as sad as that is it’s not your place to do anything about that. You can’t make someone be a father they have to do that on their own. But definitely try to have a sibling relationship as far as the sibling relationship it’s the mothers place to help her child and explain the circumstances of his father when the time is right you just need to focus on letting your son know his brother.

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Wait for the test . After the test if it is indeed a match he has a right to know. That’s like hiding the fact of whom a child’s parent is basically. Because what if this child needs an organ one-day or if they need next of kin for something good luck

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I wouldn’t say anything to your son until the paternity test comes back

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He’s 11, you can tell him about the baby, but at the same time just let him know the truth. Dad doesn’t want to be around the baby and you don’t know if baby’s mom will let them meet. Truth is best. My son is 9 and he knows about his dad’s other kids (one way older and one a baby that is a year older than my baby (his dad’s), he didn’t tell me about the other baby til she called telling him she would put him on child support and I was already a few months preg) he will never meet that younger baby (2yro) as the mom put baby up for adoption when he was 10 days old) and the older boy is 14 and my 9yro never talked to him and really has no interest to, neither does our 7yro. I refuse to lie to them about any siblings I know about. They have seen pics of them I was sent by their dad, they know their names and what states they live in. So if they ever wanted to look them up later they have the ability.

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Imagine how your sons little brother will feel when he finds out that his dad doesn’t want anything to do with him but does with his brother .
I’d personally leave it alone

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I would 100% let him know. That is his brother/ sibling and he has every right to know. How on earth could someone not give their child(ren) the opportunity to know their other sibling(s). That’s mind blowing to me. Obviously wait for the paternity test to make sure but I would just him know that his dad had a baby with another woman and you just found out. If the other mother is willing, let them meet and start a bond now-not 20 years from now. The dad has the right to not be in their lives but he doesn’t have the right to not let them know and keep them apart. He can be a deadbeat but the kids need each other.

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As someone that didn’t know she had an older sister till she was 13 years old, please do everything in your power to form that bond with the boys, Obviously wait till the paternity test comes back before anything but be 100% honest and open with your son. My parents had no intention of telling me about my sister and I probably wouldn’t of known about her (at least till I was 18 because she had planned to reach out) if my fathers family hadn’t gone behind my parents back and had us both come to a family party. At 13 years old it was hard finding out I had an almost 30 year old sister, a 13 year old nephew and a niece on the way, we kind of kept in contact for a couple years when I was younger but it was hard because I felt like my dad was mad at me( my sister is his daughter who he was an absolute deadbeat too), please don’t ever make your child think it’s a taboo thing or he’s in the wrong for a situation like this, my parents did this to me and it’s caused so much trauma in my life. as I got older me and my sister have become so close and I found out my entire life my parents had been lying to me as to why my dad wasn’t part of my sisters life. but that’s besides the point, coming from someone who has gone through this, do everything to normalize that relationship. This is me and my sister now, she just turned 40, my handsome nephew and his beautiful girlfriend, my niece and my sisters brother, the family I never knew I needed but now I couldn’t go a day without now💛

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I’m sure he would feel differently if he saw his child which is why he is refusing to look at photos… I would work on your partner forming a relationship with his son first… It sounds like he might be afraid of getting caught up in his exes mess as she most likely wants to use his status as the father to fight her new ex… Sounds like he wants to avoid her drama… It sounds like one big messy situation, I’d be focusing on your partners feelings first.

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I would say your business ends at letting his dad know…leave your son out of it for now…

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I’m sorry I’m a bit confused, did he have an affair or something?

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The consequence on the father shouldn’t be your concern. This child is your son’s brother, no matter who likes it or not. It’s important for both children to have a relationship with eachother.

It’s likely the court will drag the biological father in anyways, because the mother has already involved him by giving his name out and telling them the man on the birth certificate is not the father. She already chose to involve him. Worry about doing what is best for your son, giving him a connection to his family member.

You can’t make someone be a father or mother. Your son is old enough to know and at 11 he may not have any interest in a very younger sibling but may follow up later in life. He may want to be involved. Tell him the truth. Don’t bad mouth the father. Just give the facts. My sons have 3 half siblings that we know of but my pair not interested in knowing them. That may change as their lives change.

Wait and get the results of the paternity test first. If he is the father, tell your son. He deserves to know his sibling. And tell the father to shove it

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My child found out she had a older brother by running into him at a party. They hit it off and became good friends. I am the one who had to tell her he could potentially be her brother. Dna test later and it was true. The 3 of them regret not knowing each other sooner. They missed 22 yrs they can’t make up.

Let it go he has asked you not to say anything so you must respect that.
Also he doesn’t even know if the boy is his.
Wait until the paternity test comes back and then deal with it with your husband.

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That’s absolutely none of your business and certainly not your business to go telling anybody, including your son.
Keep your nose out of their business

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And ur with this man still why which he obviously was supposed to be with you but yet knocked up another girl and got her pregnant wtf is wrong with you

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any man that is ok about abandoning their child is not a man at all … they are nothing but a low life

Please consider leaving the low life , he wants to abandon his child , then let him be by himself

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So. My middle son(10) has an older brother(14?). His mom and I have been the one to make effort to get them to know each other. Their father only concerns himself with his eldest child. I tried to reach out and he has not responded since August. Your best choice is to do right by your kids. Damn him and his opinions. Raise your children knowing each other. If he feels guilty, that’s his bed to lie in.

1id be worrying about your husband wanting absolutely nothing to do with the baby even if it is his. That baby didn’t ask for this. Sorry, I just have no respect for a man who knowingly has a child and straight up says forget it even happened?!?! It’s not the child’s fault ! N yes, who cares what your husband says, tell your son once that test comes back. The poor kids suffer and they atleast deserve to know and have some sense of family with each other. Good luck!

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Wait an maybe help dad explain to his son the situation after u guys no for fact :100: that he’s His.

Your son has every right to know he has a brother. There could be a lot of hate from both children toward all involved if they are hidden from each other.

The father may not want to be involved but thats his loss. He has no right to say whether your son can meet his brother or not because the ‘father’ doesnt :roll_eyes:

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You don’t have a say as that baby isn’t yours!! You should respect his decision, he may feel differently later on and your 11 yr old can know about his little brother when he is 17 or 18. But it’s definitely not your business to go telling your son cause you want to, you husband will be very angry at you. Just remind your husband even though he doesn’t want to know his child it doesn’t mean his 11yr old shouldn’t know his brother as he does deserve to know about it, but for now leave it.

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Get the results first but from my understanding this man is your ex and you owe him nothing. Coming from a huge family and almost all of us having a different Father I would be heartbroken if I found out later in life I had another sibling I didn’t know about but others did. Your son can have a relationship with his sibling without his father wanting the same, you don’t really have to speak on that just let your son know if he wants that relationship he can have it… you owe your ex nothing but your child EVERYTHING. Your ex seems selfish.

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If the paternity test results indicate he’s the father, tell your son. Coming from someone who didn’t know she even 2 out of 3 siblings for most of her life, tell him. They’ll lose all these years together. And I’m sorry but if he had the nuts to get someone pregnant he should have the nuts to man up and be a father. If he doesn’t want to be, he’s a poor example for your kid and you gotta do better by providing him a good one.

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I would wait until you 100% sure that the baby is his.
You have to understand that if you tell your son and pursue a relationship with the baby that you are exposing yourself to issues with your husband. So I would personally wait to see if your husband will change his mind.

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Hate to say this but it’s bad when your child’s father wants noithing to do with his other child I would be concern if yous two break up he will do the same to your child and yes your child has the right to know his other sibling sorry but your boyfriend is not a man he should be stepping up

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I’m not sure there’s really a “right” answer here. All these people saying “sibling bonds are forever” are lucky because that’s not always true. And the point that others are making that the age difference won’t matter are likely basing it from kids that either knew each other from birth and/or had at least one INVOLVED parent that they shared. My oldest and youngest are 15 years apart and, yes, thankfully they are close. But at 18 and 33 their relationship looks a lot different than it did at 1 and 16. My oldest daughter was actually HER father’s youngest child. She had a 1/2 sister that he had a relationship with but my daughter never met because he had no relationship with her. It helps that my husband raised her as his own but she’s always known that in the biological sense she wasn’t. She’s not upset or angry that this sibling was never mentioned to her until she was much older (just a few years ago) and has no desire to find her. To her, she is proof that biology is not the same as family.
But honestly, none of that matters anyway because allowing the boys to have a relationship is not a decision you get to make alone. The mother of the 1 year old gets a say too. And yes, I understand that the 1 year old mom is the one reached out but that doesn’t automatically mean she wants an ongoing relationship. It means she named another man as the father and called her baby’s father’s ex after she was unable to get in touch with him on her own.
Should these kids be allowed to get to know each other and be brothers? Of course! In a perfect world, father of the year here would be spending time with both of his sons and the bond would form organically. But put the shoe on the other foot- would you want the ex of the father of your kid insisting on a relationship as brothers without dad’s presence? There’s no way to know how these 2 moms would get along and at their sons’ respective ages- they would HAVE to be part of each other’s lives. I know I wouldn’t be sending my 1 year old (or even my 11 year old) to spend any significant time in another one of my ex’s care (an hour away) without me being there.
Personally, if this was me, I would have this discussion with 1 year old’s mom to see where you each stand. Then you can make decisions for both sons separate from “dad” who has stated his position (as sad as that may be)

Tell Your Son Immediately and explain you just found out your self. In the long run and Grand sceme of things he will always Love you for being Honest and Open with and to him. These kids have a right to Know about each other. My wife passed away with not acknowledging to her 2 girls that One has a brother and the other one that she might meet her possible True father on a visit out of State. those worlds collided hard for each of her Girls.,

Wait until it’s a definite positive he is his brother.
Tell your ex you refuse to deprave your child if a sibling. He deserves to know that he had a brother. There is no half. Either he is accepted by your son or not. I’m sure he will. Your son will love having a kid brother. Mine do. Your ex may have made a mistake but, that’s his problem to learn to deal with. That has nothing to do with you. It’s not yours or your child’s fault that he brought another life into the world. Your son’s relationship is btw him and his brother. How his father deals with it is on him. Tell your son. God bless.

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Everyone telling her to leave him :woman_facepalming:t3: She never says she is with this man. Every mention of him is “my child’s father” not “my boyfriend” or “my husband”

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You are a sweetheart God bless your heart.
So beautiful to see hear you want to connect the brothers. It makes this world a better world.
But wait for the pertinity test.

I would wait and see the paternity results , and if they are a match I would let him get to know that he has a brother , if the father will take care of one child and not the other , then he’s honestly just trash , but the child had ever right to know he has a brother , if you and the other mother both agree on it. Your son might resent you later on for not telling him that he had a brother when you did know . I feel like siblings play such a big part in our lives and they could honestly bond , when they are older they will understand and probably be happy they grew up with each other , and understand that the father is trash .

If she had a man sign the birth certificate and she’s married to him, good luck.

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okay so not exactly the same situation but my older 2 daughters dad got a woman pregnant a couple years ago and has never met that baby, she met someone else in her pregnancy and married him and he’s listed as the father
my ex wants no part in the babies life BUT my daughters know they have a baby sister and they’re 7 & 8 they ask questions a lot but I just tell them sometimes parents aren’t ready to be good moms/dads so they don’t know those kids
that’s enough for them to know :slightly_smiling_face: they’ll know when they’re older the truth as their dad always has been a real piece of work
But I say let him have a relationship with his brother
if you’re willing :

Your son has q right to know his bro and if he finds out when he older that you kept that from he he would hate you for it, it’s not their fault about their dad when they could grow up both having amazing brother close bond why risk that? Deffo tell him xx

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Your sons right to know his brother outweighs your child’s fathers right to be scum if this child is proven to be his. You may not like your child’s reaction to you when he grows up if he finds out then you knew for years he had a brother and said nothing. If the paternity test shows this child is your child’s sibling your responsibility is to do right by your son . You owe nothing to a dead beat who rejects his own child.

Well first of all I would wait until after the paternity test to say anything just because you never know. Second if the baby is his then yes I think that your son has a right to know that he has a sibling and I’m not sure exactly how to tell him I would just sit down and simply tell him and be truthful

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It will be good for the brothers to know each other. If the father wants nothing to do with them, they still have each other. I think it will be a great idea to allow them a relationship

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Yes tell him but not until you know for sure. If you tell him now and he gets his hopes up to meet him then it turns out he’s not related then you’ve then got to go back and explain that. Tell dad that they have a right to know each other and at 11 your son is old enough to make the decision whether to see him or not and make any kind of relationship with him. Dad needs to know it’s very unfair of him to not want anything to do with him but then he might be behaving like this because he doesn’t want to get too involved before he knows for definite that he is the dad

Wait for paternity results. I’d tell my son, wouldn’t want to hold anything from my kids. Obviously within reason, but yeh. Just be honest.

I’m also like you. If the DNA comes back and he’s the dad, do it.

I wouldnt tell my son especially bc he doesn’t want anything to do with the other child . It will strain the relationship between your son and his father. Trust me I have step siblings that I was better off not knowing .

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Don’t tell your son anything, maybe when he’s older and you know the other family are staying around then maybe Dad could tell him , Why introduce someone into your sons life when there’s a possibility he’d never see the other child anyway :woman_shrugging: leave things alone it’s up to the babies parents to decide what’s going to be best for their child and same goes for yours
It’s hard but I’d stand aside for a while and see how things work out

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When paternity comes back and it’s 100% then tell him but make sure you have them facts first that’s the fathers choice he doesn’t wanna have anything to do with the child when it comes back that it’s his but don’t rob them kids of knowing their siblings that isn’t right for the father to think it’s just gonna all blow away he knows there’s a possibility that child is his so he needs to grow up or sign his name off and let a man step in and help raise that child good luck mama​:pray::pray:

For now, mind your own business until your son’s father deals with it. You only found out last night and want to play happy family. Do you even know anything about the woman etc before exposing your son to this information

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If the baby turns out to be your sons half sibling then yes he should absolutely be told, just because your ex isn’t stepping up why should these boys miss out on a sibling relationship

When paternity is confirmed. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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You have zero control over how the ex father ( or whatever he is), acts toward your child and his other.
Let your child know the truth.
Noting wrong with brothers having a bond.
That second boy will need a role model

No I wouldn’t respect the dad he didn’t want it and she said she was getting an abortion she lied and chose to do it alone and only now the other guy wants custody she got in touch smh awful

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I’d look into what is going on in that other child’s life. Isn’t just about your son. If other woman has placed another man on certificate but now fighting custody, why?
I think leave your kid out of it at present as you don’t know what your putting your child into. You don’t want put him in the picture then kids pulled away and no relationship. You need talk to the babies mum and figure if she wants your child involved also. The other child is likely going to resent your partner also as he’s still part of your child’s life.is alot to sort. Until have answers I wouldn’t tell your child as you’ll disrupt his life for possibly nothing. Or atleast wait until paternity

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u dont say anything. if he ever finds out act surprised :woman_shrugging:t2:
but no seriously
i wouldn say anything. cause beong involved in this babies life would just confuse both kids. especially of dad doesn want anything to do with kid.

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Does the mother to the other son want them to have a relationship or is she just trying to save herself in a court case? Do you personally know her? I would wait until you know more about the situation as you just found out about it and it could potentially hurt your son more than help him…

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First off well done on being open to the 2 children having a relationship as brothers and not being bitter. I would hold off until you know what the dna results are and then take it very slowly. Meet with the mam the other child and have an open and honest conversation about what expectations you both for the relationship between your boys. I don’t think dropping the whole you have a brother on the 11 year old would be something that can just be done in one conversation it needs to be built up to and see how open he is to having a sibling. You can’t force that even if they are brothers it needs to develop. Maybe speak to a therapist about how best to deal with all the emotional changes this may bring for the 11year old as he is at an age where things may seem very confusing and not know how to deal with all that’s going on. Start small with meet ups neutral ground maybe just 20/30 minutes at a park and try to always end it on a positive note. Dad has made his choice but that shouldn’t be allowed to destroy any happiness that the children may have if the mams can come to an agreement that has the best interests of the children as the foundation for the future

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In all honestly, if I was you, if he is doing a dna test, then wait until you have had the results back just to be on the safe side. You could potentially tell your son and then turns out she was lying, as horrible as it sounds. If the test comes back that he is the father, then yes, no matter what he says, tell your son as your son deserves to know his family rest of his family.

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It sounds to me like she lied and she put another man on the birth certificate and now there’s a potential of him getting custody of the child so she wants to prove that he’s not the father so she can keep her child. If you want to tell your son the truth about his brother wait until it’s confirmed by DNA.

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I just think how would the brother feel if your worried your child will be confused about it. Also until the paternity test comes back I wouldn’t pursue anything. Just leave it for the time being.

I would sit down with hubby and have a come to Jesus moment
He needs to at least look at the photos of both kids
I agree a DNA test to confirm or rule him out
If the child does turn out to be his
Encourage him to reach out to the mother and you both have a polite and calm conversation
And see if there is a chance of a meeting and getting to know the child
If that goes well look at regular visitation
Encourage the kids to interact togeather
Perhaps if you can build a relationship with the child
And a civil relationship with the mom
Further down the road look at co-parenting
But first thing first
Confirm paternity
Then go from there
Good on you for
Being open to the possibility of a new half sibling for your little one

Nope. Kids deserve to have a relationship with their sibling unless there is a concern to their safety like: gangs or drugs ect.

Number one I would tell my son because regardless of what daddy wants you and the mother that other child can be friends and co-parent with him on separate levels and the kids still get to know each other I know lots of people that are like that

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I would let it go. It is really non of your business at this point. If it is true sad yet why start something Just enjoy your what you have with your son.

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Wait…you don’t know for sure until the test comes back when it does and you have results then both of you talk about the next step

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Tell your son. There’s no reason they should lose out just because the Dad is a deadbeat. But wait until paternity is confirmed and then speak with the other Mum

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Wait until details (paternity tests) are worked out and you have more facts then tell your son. He deserves to know now, and not find out when later on in life someone’s else does ancestory.com or dna.com

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That should be up to his dad not you . I think it’s good idea for DNA testing before you let your son know this child. And if child his there dad should tell your son he has a borther. That dad has to get over it bec that may be his son . That child did ask to be in this world .

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Be honest with him :slightly_smiling_face: x

I been in your shoes! However my husband knew he fathered this child. First of all make sure the child is his before you put your son thru this emotional circus. If the child is your sons brother then you tell him. I would NOT be doing my job as a mother if I didn’t encourage my son to have a relationship with his brother. They didn’t ask for this mess and certainly didn’t ask for their father to do what he did. No matter what dad or anyone else thinks the two deserve to know one another and have a relationship being they have the same dad. My ex just lived two separate lives and traveled and this lil one was conceived and him and my son look like twins and that’s a fact. See what the outcome of paternity is and go from there even if dad doesn’t want a relationship with the child doesn’t mean your son can’t cause I promised myself to never discourage this same situation and if I pass away tomorrow I can honestly say I hadn’t and I want the best for both of these boys on my end. Much love and many hugs :purple_heart::purple_heart:

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Take a deep breath. Let the child’s mother establish paternity via testing first. All other issues will not fall into place unless you have proven that your child is related to the other child.

If paternity is established then their Dad will have no choice but to be in both their lives & the 2 siblings can build their own bond. If he is NOT biologically related to your child then you know what to do; cut communication & move forward.

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