I’ve been with my other half for 5-months I have a child who’s 3 at the moment my other half is in a predicament my other half has got someone pregnant and had she baby in December that girl is his ex they have history because they were together for 5 years
He started reaching out and being horrible even though she’s in a relationship with another guy they keep harassing my other half and myself this girl cheated and all sorts she stayed with the guy she cheated on my other half with she also did other things during her pregnancy she took drugs and alcohol she posted out over social media I don’t know how to give my opinion on this type of situation because she called us up on Monday asking my other half to meet her and myself it wasn’t because she doesn’t know who the father is or anything like ( what I gathered from the conversation was because she wanted to show off her child like a trophy basically) that is because might be she is lonely because she was dumped and she’s jealous. in October she messaged me and started having a go at me once again she wanted to talk to my other half but he didn’t want to talk to her she also stalked his family to get his phone number I know they have history but one thing that hurts me is that he wants to start a family with me I have no idea how to react I dont want to be selfish is stressing because I already have a three year old he’s the sweetest person on Earth and I don’t want to see him hurt from what I’ve heard from what I’ve experienced she’s exactly like my son’s father very abusive very controlling and manipulative… his family loves me and support me and and his family really like me and they don’t want my other half to lose me over the situation but I don’t know how to cope without looking selfish or looking like I don’t care this is really upsetting I’m a mum I know how to look after kids but I don’t want to be involved with toxic stuff because I dealt with a lot when I was with my son’s dad I cannot deal with people who are toxic on violin or abusive it does not bring me happy memories I just want to let it go and just forget about it but it’s not my choice but I really just had enough of being harassed and being called names and stalked that girl literally makes fake accounts to get to him it really hurts me because the love of my life I’ve never felt this much love in my life and appreciation and everything else is literally the nicest gentleman anyone can meet I don’t want him to go through what I had to go through they say you have to learn from your own mistakes at the end of the day this could hurt him for good or he could never be happy ever again
No just no don’t put a baby in that drama run Forrest run
Your child deserves better than this. Regardless of your feelings he has to go.
I would exit the situation if he had a baby with someone else that recently. Let him figure things out and be a father. He should be there to help with his baby in any way he can and you should focus on your daughter and yourself.
You’ve been together 5 months. He’s not your partner. His partner gave birth to their child. Find someone that’s available
First of all he needs to file for a custody order and paternity test. Then he needs to set clear boundaries with her and make it clear that the only contact she is tp have with him is when it has to do with the child. Any time she moves off the topic of the child just reply that once again he will only speak with her about the child nothing else and if she doesnt stop he will contact the police and file harassment against her. If she still continues he will need to do just that so he can get a court order stating that the only contact between them can only be about the child. That should take care of that issue and if it doesnt she will have to face the legal reprocousions of her actions. Then you yourself need to speak to him about how this situation is making you feel. And either work together to resolve it, take a step back in the relationship, or part your seperate ways on good terms. I would also seek counseling for your past trauma to help you move on as the likelihood of ending up in this situation again is high especially since single parents a lot of times end up in blended families as they have a lot in common and understand the struggles each other have faced. Just know that this situation is not his fault as this baby was created before your relationship and he cannot control how she acts only how he handles the situation.
I would get him to have a paternity test. If it comes back that he is not the father then get a restraining order against her.
Do not have a child with him until you’re in a relationship longer 5 months with all this drama is happening. Wait and see
Leave that whole dumpster fire behind
well… saying he may never be happy ever again is a little excessive… He will be happy regardless …
5 months is very short but you knew he was about to have a baby… entering in this relationship you knew you would have to accept that part of his life. He should get a dna test for starters… but either way its very easy for you to exist this if youre not up to being a part of his family which includes his baby. you can find a man with no baby nor baby mama drama cause it will not end… (the drama)… 
Run, don’t walk. You don’t need any of that drama in your life.
How is your significant other handling the situation? I get that she cheated on him, but is he done done with her? Because if he is entertaining ANY of this, I would be backing off and letting him sort his shit out. If he isn’t entertaining any of the drama, then I wouldn’t be quick to run away.
Step one is to determine if their relationship is actually done. If no, then you need to step away. If yes, see step two.
Step two, he needs a paternity test, and not to take her word for it that the baby is his. I know to many men who have acknowledged a child as their own and then found out years later that it wasn’t his. If the baby isn’t his, then end of problem. He doesn’t need to have any contact with her, ever again. If the baby is his, step three.
Step three, he needs to go through the courts for EVERYTHING. He needs to file to establish custody, visitation and child support. He needs to stick to whatever agreement the court establishes and limit any and all contact to being strictly about the child.
This isn’t YOUR place. He is the one that needs to set boundaries with her, if the child is his. If he can’t do that, then you’re wasting your time and looking at a drama filled future.
All these people saying run now, that’s not how life works. If you care about him and he cares about you, the two of you need to figure out what works for THE TWO OF YOU and no one else. Like I said though, just make sure that he is aware of how you feel and is willing to set and keep boundaries. If he isn’t, it’s not going to work and you’re going to be miserable.
Sometimes, time can change this particular dynamic and the drama dies down. I dont think you having a child so soon into this is a good idea. If he wants that, he needs to take the steps to make her stop her nonsense. That starts with filing for custody and a DNA test to prove this is his child. Then, once that’s established and the child is his, he sets boundaries in mediation. If I were him, I’d tell him to have it put in the custody papers that she doesn’t contact him unless it is about the baby. That way, if she does break it, it’s contempt of court and harassment. He needs to make it clear that they only have a coparenting relationship from here on out. Nothing more will ever come of it. Until and unless he does that, she will continue her crazy, dragging both you and him through it. Don’t take the bait. Ignore her. Take the high road EVERY time, and be consistent in it. Eventually, she will quit, when she doesn’t get the attention she’s seeking and the drama she’s thriving off of. It’s gonna take patience and persistence like you’ve never known. Eventually, she will be forced to move on and grow up, but it starts with neither of you taking the bait and feeding the rabid crazy lady. She’s very clearly trying to split you two up so she can have him back and manipulate him all over again. Remember that.
Time to walk away from that mess. 5 and a half months and already all that drama? Nah sis. You deserve better. Walk away with your child.
Walk away and don’t look back.
I stopped reading after a few sentences…5 months? Don’t even think twice about getting in the middle of this.
5 months and it’s already like this? Nah. That stuff never stops. Bitter women never let it go. My husband has been dead for 2 years and a one night stand from 9 years ago is still harassing and stalking me, even after I’ve had a restraining order for over a year. It won’t get better. Don’t subject yourself or your child to this.
First step you block her on everything you have from phone to all social media. You don’t have to keep an open line for her to continue being abusive towards you you can block her. Your partner of 5 months needs to go to court and file for custody and go from there.
I would set boundaries first of all I’d have a DNA test to make sure it is your boyfriend’s then you need to set up if he wants visitation and or child support if not totally block her out she’s playing a game to keep you upset or to try to break you up I would at least be with him one year without the harassment of her to make sure it was going to work before I had another child bringing all these children into toxic relationships is not fair to the child you need a stable home life stable income and a stable relationship otherwise you’re alive would be another single parent with a second child to raise and you know what about commitment I don’t think I’d be having babies with someone that didn’t want to marry me
Don’t even think about a family w him after 5 months and being unwed. He has a kid w this other chick (maybe) n she is always going to be a thorn your side it seems like.
He needs to Get an attorney and have a private paternity test done. They are more accurate and thorough than one done by a public agency. If i were you i would keep my finances and credit separate from him. Maintain your own job and income. And for Gods sake, dont have any more kids with this person!!
If you really love him like truly love him you would stay. Make sure this chick knows your here to stay and tell her if she dont back tf off your going for a restraining order. Y’all are letting her in and its not ok. Your letting her take you power and basically screwing up a perfectly good relationship. Dont let her mess up something you both need. Safety .
You have only been with him for 5 months way to soon to even think about getting pregnant by him …as for the ex . demand a DNA test if it’s his than you are going to have to deal with her crazy butt if not his than tell her to back off or you will have her arrested for harassment
What the hell is wrong with some of you women??? At 5 months this “relationship” is already a shit show and you want to bring your child into this and have another with this guy??? SMH!!! What is wrong with you???
Ummm no I’d be running from that drama
Drama. Drama. You are sitting in the middle of it.
can’t read, nor can’t believe is real. If it is, These poor kids from all of these screwed up lives of their parents, My heart goes out to them
I have no idea what you are trying to say. If you are happy that girl cant hurt you. If you are unhappy take your child and get out. If he fathered her baby she is gonna be around for many years to come so you may want to think about that also.
Do not start a family with a man that doesn’t see the children he already has. TF is he doing raising your kid but not his own?
You are an active but irrelevant component in this equation until paternity is either established or debunked, then you can proceed or back out based on his actions, good luck
Only 5 months and all these dramas? What would happen years later? I would bounce and not even look back. They should pack their shits themselves 
Too bad he doesn’t love you back. Don’t take the disrespect!
I dont understand anything I just read! Punctuation is EVERYTHING!,
I would be saying my other half if he got his ex pregnant 9 months ago i would be packing his cloths and saying good bye jezzzz
Do not start a family with this man and I wouldn’t stay in the relationship with him.
Tell him to make his profile private so no one can find him not even her fake accounts.
He needs to go to court for DNA and some sort of child custody arrangement and get a restraining order on her and do her for harassment to. There’s a few things he can do to go it all. Also you should block her number so she stops messaging you
SMH at what I just read.
This post reads like a broken windshield…
Dang that was one long sentence. You need to remove yourself from the equation…he is hiding behind you. And you gonna drag your 3 yr old through this mess? He won’t deal with his current baby…which you don’t really acknowledge either…and you talking about having a baby with him??? Then you are going to end up a single mother with TWO babies.
Talking about wanting to start a family with you after only 5 months is a big red flag. And you’ll be putting yourself and your child in a toxic environment if you don’t leave. You may love him, but is it worth your sanity?
What are you trying to say? Punctuation would go a long way in helping people understand your predicament.
Other half after 5 months? Get out while you can
My eyes kept stumbling trying to read this. After 5 months you are still getting to know eachother. Being you have an ex you felt that kind of “love” before. You are putting your child in a toxic place. Either leave or deal with it. That’s all I can say.
Your other half? Lol… girl 5 months? And he got another girl pregnant… just pick a new half apparently it Doesnt take much to make you whole if your putting up with that shit I hate theses post
You need to use punctuation. Can’t figure out what’s going on here.
It’s a word game…I’m at a loss!
You’re referring to him as your “other half” after knowing him only 5 months? I’m sorry, but you don’t even know the REAL him in that short amount of time.
paternity test make her prove it
I just had a stroke reading this
First off he needs to grow up and communicate with the mother of his child if not when that little girl is older she’s going to resent her biological father for him not wanting her. And you do not need to be trying to start a family with somebody who already has a child that he wants nothing to do with
Other half this, other half that…I’m confused 
Good grief, I got a headache trying to read that
He needs to man up! If it is his child and he can’t “deal” with her to be involved with the child… he isn’t man enough for you nor your child. Also, if you in anyway support or accept him doing anything less, you are also a problem. He can go through legal channels and will have to speak to her very rarely. You shouldn’t be responding to her at all. She shouldn’t be reaching out to you, but you should respond. IF this is his child then it’s their child. I’m not saying that y’all shouldn’t and couldn’t eventually grow friendly with everyone at some point, but this isn’t the time. Paternity test immediately and if his and he doesn’t step up… nothing else matters. If a man doesn’t love his own child… that’s your answer. It doesn’t matter what the ex is or may be. He slept with her and shouldn’t be absent for the child.
That is one long, confusing sentence!
Your 5 months in and already thinking about bringing another child into this toxic mess you guys have eeek
Love of your life? It’s only been 5 months. You literally don’t even know him yet 
If you decide to stay with him (I wouldn’t!), make him get a paternity test. Wait a long, long, long time before you think about having a child with him. See what type of father he is with his child AND your child. Actions speak louder than words. His actions as a father will tell you everything you need to know. When he shows you who he is, BELIEVE it!!!
If they have a child together THEY HAVE TO COMMUNICATE for THEIR child . The baby is innocent in all this and deserves both of his/her parents . They can coparent they don’t have to like each other they don’t have to be friends but they must be cordial ! Of course she’s going to try to reach out to him she didn’t get herself pregnant. Lead with LOVE and compassionate in your heart no matter what a person does or has done in the past. Everyone has pain and trauma to deal with from life you don’t know her whole life , you only want to see all her bad choices . Would you like to be seen and judged ONLY for the bad things you’ve done ? Talk to her with love in your heart . Love is infinite and there’s plenty of it to go around . You sound like you don’t want anything to do with his child . That’s unfair to the baby to him . Make him step up and be a parent weather yal like it or not that’s what he is at the end of the day : a father
Put the breaks on your relationship until he finish with his past. He needs to get visitation and take care of his child instead of dealing with her and possibly get a restraining order so she won’t harass him too. When he finish with that maybe try a relationship with him.
I think if there was an award for longest run on sentence, while simultaneously having been written with terrible grammar…this right here would win top prize.
This man isn’t ready to be any bodies anything g until he figures out how to be a father first. He should be focusing on getting the legalities settled so he has access to his child and he supporting his child properly before he’s trying g to get another woman pregnant. He’s not ready and neither are you:
this is ridiculous.
girl RUN !!! the hell
You can start from here, by using punctuation.
Wow,sounds like you all are off an episode of the Maury or Jerry Springer show:thinking:
Confusing but don’t start a family. It’s like a one up man ship. Don’t move in Block her numbet or PPO for harassment
Tell him see him m when this is settled. Maybe
You’re walking into a hornets nest
Move. Change phone no. Tell his family you can’t give new address or phone until this is resolved see a lawyer with him. For a consitation only write down everything you need to ask about this women It won’t cost too much for consiltation only do not have a baby You here me do not have a baby in this mess the poor baby Get out of the drama don’t tell your business to people these are. Drama fueled people back off. Until thing cool down
Did he put a ring on it?
To quote a fav song of mine!!! "Run Like Hell!!!
This really sounds like some MTV reality show.
You know the answer.
I would have him file with the courts to get a paternity test done to make sure that the baby is his and then get custody figured out. That’s all up to you on if you want to stick it out with all the drama. Because I don’t see it getting better anytime soon with his ex. You just have to figure out yourself how much you want to deal with! If the baby isn’t his, then all ties should be cut from her so I’d start with getting that done first
5 months…the love your life…don’t start a family. He’s gonna always have to deal with this ex. Forever. They have a child. Don’t have a child with him just because she does and u wanna have that with him too. If u don’t wanna have to deal with her and the changes that happen/drama with that situation then you cant be with him.
There’s not one single period or coma in this very long paragraph lol
Get your ducks in a row. End the relationship. Go no contact and do not look back. Red flags 
all over this. You will be entering perpetual cycle of madness if you stay. No stability for yourself or your child down the road if you stay (I’m referring to more than financial stability, emotional stability is just as important.)
My thoughts are you have a son and he should be your first priority…to make his life/home safe mentally, emotionally and physically. I would put your current relationship on hold until he has stabilized previous relationships. You said she is like your ex, do you want that drama to spill over and affect your son? Just my opinion. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Now that my stroke is over… what I got from this is, he wants to be a father. His baby mama is being mean. Instead of fighting for custody of said child that may or may not be his, you want him to abandon his maybe child because you dont wanna leave him but you dont wanna deal with his baggage. Plus you are in the honeymoon stage where he’s perfect and dreamy therefore you have no idea where this will actually go and he wants to have a baby with you? All while your child (or children if you decide to have a kid with him after less than half a year together) will get to deal with the down fall when you or him dont feel like adulting and dealing with the tiniest bit of drama? I might be getting this completely wrong as I had to read it about 30 times because it was all literally one sentence that you had to get creative to make it make sense, but thats what I got out of it.
End it now if you can’t deal with someone with baggage. Also please realize no matter how great the guy is, the honeymoon phase will end. Wait until about a year after it isn’t all rainbows and unicorn sparkle farts before considering more children. If y’all are still together after that, you may last.
My “other half” has been mentioned 8 times…are you trying to convince other people or yourself, that this guy is “the one”? 5 months is a very short time to know that he is the love of your life! This guy dumped his pregnant “other half” and got with you. How many times has he seen the new baby?? Does he pay child maintenance regularly?? Is he just accepting the baby is his, even though he says his ex cheated? Has there been a DNA confirmed he’s the father? You have a 3 year old child who has already witnessed a horrible home life with your ex…why would you, after only 5 months, risk your child being mentally damaged further with all the drama of a scorned ex girlfriend, who is also mother of your “other half” baby??? WAKE UP!!! Take a few steps back and 100% concentrate on your child, they are the most important person in your life now. Children do not asked to be born and when they are, it’s the mother/father job to protect them. PLEASE do not consider having another child anytime soon and don’t be convinced otherwise by sweet words from your boyfriend or his family. What ever you decide to do, I hope you have a good life as you and your child deserve to be happy after already living with an abusive ex partner!!
Get away far away just you and your baby! Start over both men are no good.
This is a rebound on yourself he probably doing this as revenge it’s early relationship
I’d find a better “other half”
Courtney Treacy I just bursted about 5 of my aneurysms reading this 
I think it’s too soon for you to be in a serious relationship with him because his relationship with his ex ended so recently. And him being a father to a newborn he has a lot to sort out still. I would take a step back and see where his focus and priorities lie.
It’s been less than 6 month
His child is not even here yet
That’s a hard choice
I’m so fen confused just all 10 of you move in together keep being crazy and dysfunctional maybe counseling
I think a meeting with you, him and his family needs to take place. I think in that meeting it should be agreed upon that a group restraining order be filed. As for social media, every time she contacts him a police report be filed as a violation to the order and FB be notified of the fake accounts and block the accounts. Let FB know there is a restraining order. Her behavior goes against community standards, and they have ways to track her IP address and block her from the platform. In the meeting with the family if agreed to do a group restraining order, they have to do the same. If she contacts them, they need to file a police report of violation to the order. Each violation holds up to 1 year in jail. Research the stalking laws in your state and if need be, file stalking charges against her. Stalking is a felony and can hold prison time. Also Call CPS with regards to her drug use while she was pregnant and let them know she is involved in criminal activity, and you are concerned for the welfare of the child. It sounds to me like she has too much time on her hands and needs something to do other than harass you, him and his family. Use the resources available to you to make her stop. if that means you get her wrapped up in the system well so be it. She also sounds like she is mentally unstable and that can be dangerous, so don’t wait until something bad happens. Be proactive and put a stop to this soon rather than later.
Wow. To me, seeing someone for five months wouldn’t be worth all this drama. I’d keep my distance and let them all sort their shit out. If y’all are still interested in each other after that, then maybe try to start a relationship. Too soon to know if he’s the love of your life
Ooooooook.
I just want to point out how abnormal it is to call your boyfriend, of 5 months, ‘my other half’ as if it his name… That to me indicates this title has been drilled Into your brain in some form or fashion… We will start there…
Also, there are some pretty serious redflags that indicate “your other half” is actually going to turn out to be the villian in this story… Aka, hes the crazy/addicted/jealous/stalker he portrays her as being so that you will feel pity for him. Being that you have gotten out of 1 abusive relationship already, you are a pretty easy target for another… And im not a betting woman, but i got 20 on me being correct here.
Your “other half” is using you to gaslight his ex. She may be crazy or dramatic or high as a kite all the time… But if that was the case a caring, concerned, REAL parent would leave their first born, as a new tiny baby, in a situation like this (unless they are a super shitty human) and not have ready started legal processes… It doesnt sound like he has.
All those words to say "hes crazy, not her, runnnnnnnn!!!)
He should definitely be your ex unless you want a relationship with her for all of your lives together.
Ok. Girl, please make complete sentences. That was hard to read.
When she had her baby she wanted yall to meet the baby, that’s not showing off like babies trophy that’s pretty typical for any parents to be involved. …
I’m unsure that your even ready to be in this relationship theirs some basic contact that will happen with this father with his ex, mother of his child. If your jealous of that then that’s very wrong. And how do you know she did all those things - he told you? 
hmm. Be careful what you believe with a new bf if you start to hear how he was NEVER in ghe wrong and it was all the other person that right there is redflags
First your a rebound. You have been together 5 months that’s nothing. If some dude is telling me he wants a family with me when he doesn’t even know me. That’s a huge red flage. 2nd that will never stop with he. Move on. But I honestly would worry about raising my child. Not worried about being in a relationship
5 months and the only thing I can remember from what I read is “my other half”. As women we need to learn when to walk away.
He’s the nicest gentleman anyone could meet? You’ve only been with him five months, how do you know? Good Lord!!! 
Your “other half” and “want to start a family” after five months? What is this? Middle school? Decide what you’re willing to deal with now because it will never get better. This is still the honeymoon period (all relationships have them. They just don’t always go horribly wrong after) and everyone is on best behavior. If you’re not okay with all this now, you’re not going to be okay dealing with this once the new wears off.
Get the f*ck out of there! Your child doesn’t need to be around that, very toxic because your child can still see and hear what is going on around him and will pick up on it all including your stress. Don’t start a family at all with him.